THE DEFINITION OF LOTTIE BY MUSIC
"You hold me without touch. You keep me without chains. I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain. Set me free, leave me be, I don’t want to fall another moment into your gravity, here I am, and I stand so tall, just the way I’m supposed to be, but you’re on to me and all over me…"
This song is kind of double sided with Lottie. It deals both with the loss of her mother and her lack of love that she wants more than anything in the world. She can be so happy, but when she’s alone, her mind always goes back to that place of sadness… A place she’s far too rooted in, even more so than she would admit. But what resonates with her is her lack of love. She watches Hercules and her other friends fall in love while she’s still alone and it just makes her feel more so, but she doesn’t want to be that girl that complains about lack of love and tries so hard anymore, but she always goes back there. Lottie is desperate for love, for connection, emotions she has never experienced and a good part of that rules her. And everyone knows it.
Tied Together With A Smile
"Hold on, baby, you’re losing it. The water’s high, you’re jumping into it and letting go… and no one knows that you cry, but you don’t tell anyone. That you might not be the golden one, and you’re tied together with a smile, but you’re coming undone.”
Lottie has always been the girl who would rather be happy, the one that likes to believe you can choose to be an emotion all the time, and that you never have to be sad, but that always blows up in her face. It never fails. But even then, she pushes it off and puts on a smile, one that hardly fools anyone, but they leave her alone about it still most of the time because they know she doesn’t want to talk about it, so she doesn’t. And it just all gathers up, every little thing, until she blows.
Nightingale - Demi Lovato
"Somebody speak to me cause I’m feeling like hell. Need you to answer me, I’m overwhelmed. I need a voice to echo. I need a light to take me home. I need a star to follow, I don’t know. I never see the forest for the trees. I could really use your melody. Baby I’m a little blind, I think it’s time for you to find me."
When Charlotte falls into these times, her wishes grow from just wanting someone to call her own to needing them. Behind her cheery facade, the perky blonde feels so lost, so afraid to lose it all, and all she has wanted since she was a little girl was to fall in love and be caught, to be with someone who could love her back. She’s come so far that she doesn’t even need fancy things from him, she just needs him here because every moment, she feels like she’s falling apart. And her friends can help, work like a bandaid, but the wound is always there, open and gaping. She needs it filled or she’s afraid of what she might do and it’s absolutely scary. Lottie is utterly terrified, and she’s tried so hard to find him, to be the one, but now she’s just slowly giving up even if she has a little crush.
Love Me For Me - Cher Lloyd
"A doll house is all that you could see, but it’s so far from my reality. I got problems, I got issues. Sometimes it’s all too much for me. Wrap it up with a pretty little bow, but there are some things you can’t sugarcoat. So I give it to you anyway even though it won’t taste so sweet."
This song basically explains how Lottie feels around Djali. She’s not quite sure what’s there, but with how she is and how much things she’s spilled to him? Lottie is finding she cares for him more than she is willing to admit right now. She is trying so hard not to be the same girl she was with him, but she’s also being completely honest… The only thing she’s kept from him is how she feels, she’s even been hiding from Ez. No she doesn’t love him, but she might get there and she’s afraid of that, but it’s what she’s wanted so she’s conflicted. She also knows how he doesn’t like her, how he doesn’t care for her like she does for him and that he sees her as everyone else sees her— as she is, but as she also isn’t. As that daddy’s girl with all the riches who is so peppy she even makes cheerleaders look bad for not being as bright. But with him, Lottie admits she has issues and problems. Some things she’s never told anyone before. And if this goes where she wants it to, she also knows if and when he breaks her, that’ll be it. And she doesn’t think she has the courage. But eventually she’ll have to tell him anyway because she is utterly transparent.
"Am I crazy for wanting you? Maybe do you think you could want me too? I don’t wanna waste your time Do you see things the way I do? I just wanna know that you feel it too. There is nothing left to hide."
When I hear this song, I think about how Charlotte would say some of these things to the guy she wants in the end, but I also think about what she feels when she hears it. These words are words she would love to have said to her. She knows very well the likeliness of that happening is slim to none, considering the one guy she has interest in not only doesn’t give two shits about her, but he also isn’t the type to say any of these things at all. However, that doesn’t change how she daydreams and how crazy her mind gets when she thinks about anything involving love. When she think about someone sweeping her off her feet it’s all knight in shining armor, whisking her away to the sunset. Lottie has big hopes, big dreams and they just crush her, but she can’t help but wish.
"You don’t have to feel like a wasted space. You’re original, cannot be replaced. If you only knew what the future holds, after a hurricane comes a rainbow."
Okay, so maybe this song isn’t fully what Lottie thinks about, but these are the kind of things her friends tell her, and the things she tries to hold onto when she’s falling down and crumbling. It gets hard to keep them in her mind, to believe them, but she knows she can always count on her friends to have her back. Even if that isn’t always enough.
"I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow, and each road leads you where you want to go. And if you’re faced with a choice, and you have to choose, I hope you choose the one that means the most to you. And if one door opens to another door closed, I hope you keep on walkin’ till you find the window. If it’s cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile…"
There are two songs Lottie’s Mama and Big Daddy used to play for her and sing for her when she was upset. As she got older it happened less and less and when her Mama died, it stopped altogether, but Lottie still remembers the songs and they still mean a lot to her. She heeds both of them as advice and does her best to use them to bring herself out of her ruts, and though they don’t always help, they do enough to quell.
I Hope You Dance - Lee Ann Womack
"I hope you never lose your sense of wonder, ou get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger. May you never take one single breath for granted, God forbid love ever leave you empty handed. I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean, whenever one door closes I hope one more opens. Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance, and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance. I hope you dance… I hope you dance."
The classic mother daughter song, this is the song that her Mama used to sing to her when she was upset in order to calm her down and instill these words within her. Which is why when she gets upset, and she’s alone, she’ll often sit down and sing this to try to calm herself down, even if she does have an awful voice. All that matters is this is the song that usually works to quell her enough to sleep or enough to leave. It may be every girl’s mother daughter song, but it’s so much more to Lottie. So much more. Especially after her mother’s death.
"Cause you make me feel so right, even if it’s so wrong. I wanna scream out loud, boy, but I just bite my tongue. This one’s for the girls messin’ with boys like he’s the melody and she’s background noise. Baby why can’t you see? It feels so good but you’re so bad for me."
'Bout time the songs on this playlist picked up a bit. Anyway, with this song, yeah, it's another one pointing to Djali, but it's also one that has a bit of what she does with any guy she's liked. Lottie tends to put them on a pedestal and put herself behind without realizing it. They become the prize and she's just anther girl chasing after them, but with Djali the lyrics resonate in the sense that she has no idea how to read him. She knows to an extent, but at the same time, she just wants to know what he's thinking really and not just the notions she gets. Most of the time she just wants to yell at him, but like the song says, she bites her tongue and gives up for a short amount of time 'til she goes right back to him. Unintentionally, Djali's got her wrapped around his finger, and at some point if nothing happens, she's going to break of it. Because she'll learn she doesn't deserve it, but right now… She wants him. It feels so good, but he's so bad for her. At least he is right now.
"You’re over my head. I’m out of my mind, thinking I was born in the wrong time. It’s love on rewind. Everything is so throwback-ish (I kinda like it, like it). Out of my league, old school chic. Like a movie star from the silver screen, you’re one of a kind living in a world gone plastic. Baby you’re so classic"
All of Charlotte’s idols are those of Hollywood’s Glamour Age. This song is another double for that reason. Sometimes the girl feels like she was born in the wrong time, like she should have been this age in the roaring twenties, not the first decade of the two thousands’. Her dreams are big like that, and she just loves throwbacks to those ages because guys were gentlemen, they knew how to treat women, and now she’s just kind of this side piece, but anything for a moment of someone noticing her right? It’s not like it happens so often, but she does have her one night stands because no one has ever wanted her for more than that. On the other end of this, Lottie feels like this kind of thing should be what a guy should think about her, but even then to her that’s just a dream now. All she knows is whatever she may be, she’s classic.
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