i know we talk a lot about crazy literature professors, but i need to tell y’all about my mechanics professor. so, here are some quotes from him just from this morning:
“i know this is all very easy, and it’s 8am, but don’t fall asleep from boredom or i’ll throw my apple in your face.”
“if i walk in a straight line, it’s a 1D movement. if im drunk, and go sideways, it’s 2D. and if i took some crazy shit, i can even be [he starts doing squats while walking/jumping] iN 3D!!!”
“let’s say this apple falls down from the sky. i know, unlikely, but this is physics, it’s supposed to sound magical.”
“oh god, my apple looks terrible. thank god i didn’t eat it before the class or i would’ve been terribly upset.”
[explaining newton’s third law about things tend to attract each other] “you, good lad in the front! i am terribly ATTRACTED to you. but you, other lad in the back - or are you a girl? i don’t know, you have a hat - i am way less attracted to you. don’t be upset guys, we’re talking physics, not physical!”
“of course this book [by his colleague] isn’t perfect, but [raising his voice] I LOVE IT VERY MUCH. [back to whispering] you can never know when your colleagues are spying on you. beware. Eric, if you’re here: so we meet again.”
professor: so what’s g? student: newton?? professor, faking a heart attack: nO. it’s barely 9am and you’re already hurting me, i am LEAVING. (he did leave the class for like two minutes??)
“it’s time for a 7min break. 5 min’s too short, 10′s too long, 7 is average and perfect.” he pauses. “depending on what you’re measuring of course.”
“see, this equation is so easy, i drew a laughing emoji next to it in my notes.” he turns to us and sighs. “yeah. newton and einstein died for this.”
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