Do you want a deeper connection to God? I’ll tell you how.
A reader wrote to me the following, “I have struggled tremendously with spirituality and my faith for the last 7 year's. I love God and I believe in a higher being but I've struggled to make that relationship connection, and it has left me feeling spiritually hungry for something more.”
Having a daily, living relationship with the God of your being can be challenging, especially for us western world people who value logic and the idea that “what I see I believe.” An additional challenge is that we were taught about what I call a Santa Claus God (see my previous blog, Where in your life do you still have a Santa Claus God?), meaning a magical man who is separate from us, sitting on a cloud somewhere keeping score on what we do or don’t do, and judging us harshly. Who the heck wants a relationship with that kind of God? Not me.
I’m sensing you have moved beyond the Santa Claus God, having enough intelligence and heart to know that’s not possible or productive. But what happens to many is they get stuck in the in-between, not yet awakened to a new idea about God, they sit in the void feeling empty and hungry (as you so clearly stated).
Developing a new relationship in any area of our lives takes work, but when you don’t even have a sense of what it is you’re relating to, along with having to remove many layers of preconceived ideas and cultural stigma it really takes some time, energy, and consistency.
When I was in India I saw a completely different world where talking to God, loving God, and making God a priority was an acceptable, honorable way of life. They related to God very personally, knowing that He/She/It lived within and all around them. They relied upon God and had no shame around being dependent. It was understood that you relied upon God. In fact, to depend upon yourself or other people first is ludicrous and sets you up for great disappointment and failure. The primary relationship, the only one worth working on really, is your relationship with God.
They helped me open my heart, and yet I admit that I still can feel embarrassed, outside of my work place, to speak about my love for God (odd, most people say they feel most embarrassed inside their workplace). I keep it close to my heart but far from my sleeve. I actually think that’s fine because again, our culture is not one where we speak freely and boldly about our faith. I say all this to acknowledge that you are not alone in your struggle to really know and trust God. Your desire to do so is admirable.
This may be a radical idea to you, but one of the major blocks to not being able to feel, know, and hear God (within your being) is your unhealed relationships with your Mother and Father. As little children we all project onto God the way we were and weren’t loved by our parents. The conditions that were placed upon how we were loved, we in turn have placed upon God. The parts of us that hold resentment, anger, guilt and fear towards our parents live within our relationship to God.
So what to do? We must forgive our parents. I mean deeply forgive.
It is also in India where I learned how important this really is. To the extent you can allow your parents to be forgiven, to that same extent you will automatically open to the love of a brand new God, who actually isn’t brand new, but is to you because you’ve not know Him/Her/It in this way. I’m not talking about, “Oh, I forgive them. I know they did the best they could do.” Yes, they did do the best they could. In fact, they did the perfect job for your spiritual awakening. Deep inside your soul you picked the perfect parents who would give you exactly what you need to spiritually grow.
From your adult self you may have made peace with what you did and did not receive, but I’m talking about really allowing the younger parts of yourself that were denied, hurt, ignored, shamed or blamed to have their voice and be heard. These are the parts within us that, if not brought to the light and healed, continue to block us from giving and receiving genuine love. They block us from spiritually awakening because they are the very portholes through which this awakening must occur. So to ignore them, or pretend they don’t matter, or to not even realize they are there – is where we remain stuck.
1. Begin by asking your personal Divine to help you in having a deep, cleansing, and transformational forgiveness experience. It doesn’t matter if you feel completely disconnected from your God – He/She/It will hear you. Just ask – clearly and intentionally, “God, I don’t know where you are or who you are, but I believe in you and I want a deeper, more loving relationship with you. Please activate forgiveness within my soul for my parents. On every level of my being, please help me forgive and become fully free to know, feel, trust, and depend upon you.” Don’t worry about how it works. Forgiveness is intelligent. It knows exactly where to go and how to do what it does.
2. Sit down and journal about your childhood. Write about the ways you felt unloved, not seen or heard, blamed or shamed. You’ll be amazing at how quickly the right images and memories will arise. They are actually right there on the surface. Don’t edit or stop. Just write absolutely anything and everything that comes to you. Allow the tears to flow, the anger to be felt. Know that you are surrounded by the love of God so you’re safe. Go as long and as deep as you can. If it starts to feel too intense then take a break, but as you do, consciously close the process by saying, “Thank you my God for beginning this journey. I feel complete for now. Please close up these openings within me so I can move through my day fully present. Please do not stop the forgiveness process. Keep it going.”
This kind of work is where the rubber meets the road and true transformation takes place. I don’t know how long it takes or how much of it you will have to do. For each one of us it’s different, but that doesn’t matter. For me, there’s nothing more important then doing my inner forgiveness work. It sets me free, allows me to hear my Divine, and lifts me up into a greater vibration of joy and receptivity. Life begins working, prosperity flows, and opportunities come a knockin’.
Finally, begin talking to the God of your being every day. Just say, “hello, how are you?” Talk to Him/Her/It like a best friend. Imagine there is a beautiful, unconditionally loving being within you or sitting across from you drinking coffee. Just share, and share, and share. The shift will come and the faith will grow – if you just begin and allow forgiveness to have its way.
SHAMELESS PLUG – to get more support in your forgiveness process buy my new book today – THOU SHALL NOT SUFFER. (preorder, support my ministry, and then wait until February, 2014 to get it! … Don’t worry, just purchasing it will activate forgiveness. J)
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