As if the voicemail hadnât been proof enough, the sight of Beth - sloppy in every sense of the word - was enough to confirm she was in a state Martin had only ever seen a few rare times before. Sure, when they were together, they would drink sometimes, and sometimes Beth would overestimate her tolerance, but everything about her tonight screamed of a deliberate reach for intoxication.Â
He couldnât say he blamed her. It was clear enough from her message, and just from his basic understanding of human emotions in general, that he was putting her through some kind of hell with his return. It was unavoidable, and just one more thing to add to the long list of sins he had to atone for. Not that she really gave him much opportunity, the way she kept her emotions so close to the vest⊠She had always been the type to keep conflict and anger bottled up. If getting drunk was what she needed to let off steam, then a part of him was glad for it.Â
Besides worry, it was the main reason he was here. He hoped a drunk Beth would air the grievances sober Beth could notâŠÂ
âYouâre gonna be waiting here all night if thatâs the case. They donât open until 11 A.M.,â he explained patiently, tucking his keys into his pocket before squatting down onto the curb, leaving at least a good five feet of space between them. âAnd you and I both know too much for me to ever make a believable knight in shining armor. But I made a promise, didnât I? You call, I come. Anytime. Any place.â Technically, the promise was made in regards to Ellie, but Martin wasnât going to be the one to point that out.Â
âThey donât open until 11am.â Beth tried to mimic his voice as she repeated him, her face screwing up a little as she did so. âBite me.â Resting her elbows on her knees, Beth covered her face with her hands, rubbing her eyes gently in a bid to try and see straight. âDisney never wrote in whether or not the knights had got the princess pregnant after the film ended and then fucked off for five years without a word, huh? Maybe they should be more realistic about how not to get your hopes up that your dreams are coming true because it all turns to shit.â Dropping her hands, Beth shrugged. âThen you end up sitting on the sidewalk with the asshole who dumped you, telling you the taco shop opening times.â
Beth had been nothing but the perfect Dryden daughter since Martin had returned. She had compromised, she had hidden her feelings, she had bottled everything up and hadnât even scratched the surface of showing him how angry she was, but now, with a whole load of tequila swimming around her system, she wasnât even sure what she was meant to be hiding, let alone have the ability to do it. âArenât I lucky? See thatâs what I used to think youâd do as well, then you walked out on me and tore my heart into tiny little pieces so forgive me if I call bullshit.â
There was a tiny, tiny part of her brain that was telling her to shut up. She had kept her feelings hidden to make their interactions as amiable as possible around their daughter, to stop her from picking up on any awkwardness or tension, but she just couldnât. She had no energy left to keep her walls up so strongly. âYou know the worst bit about all of this? Iâm sitting here, I donât really know my own name and youâre fine. I feel like I am in hell daily, like my insides are being torn apart every second, like I have a gaping, aching hole in my chest where my heart used to be and youâre just fine.âÂ
Looking at him for the first time, Beth laughed once, although no humour could be found in it. âBet youâve been swanning around for the last five years, happy as a clam, putting it about, getting laid, having a grand old time. Me? I had a baby, I raised a baby, I worked, I cried myself to sleep most nights. Do you know how many times Iâve had sex since you left? Three times. Three. Times. Itâs probably closed up down there, cobwebbed sign saying closed.â Reaching down, Beth pulled the zip down on the backs of each of her shoes before pulling them off, tossing them onto the sidewalk. âYou donât even care, you never did, just let me get a taxi and leave me alone, I have tacos at home.â