SACRIFICIAL.

THEY WERE LOUD, YES. LOUD. — THEY WERE FIERCE WHEN THEY RODE ACROSS THE LAND. a lost valkyrie. by meaghan. / var fhs = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id = "5531473"; var ref = (''+document.referrer+'');var pn = window.location;var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; fhs.src = "//freehostedscripts.net/ocounter.php?site="+fhs_id+"&e1=&e2=&r="+ref+"&wh="+w_h+"&a=1&pn="+pn+""; document.head.appendChild(fhs);document.write(""); . ( under construction. )

[martyrar]

my murder looks like me but much more blue. / ©

[martyrar-a]

I HAVE BLED MORE THAN THIS. / by meaghan.

[chrysanthemumskies]

that one print i promised of valkyrie and her gf ;) 

prints available at my store!

[martyrar-a]

‘ i have no idea what i’m doing, but i know i’m doing it really, really well. ’

i don’t want to go find the prompt. :)

          alruna laughs, arm slung around the broad ( and, for once, unarmored ) expanse of val’s shoulders, fingers left dangling against one of her collarbones. her weight is settled againstval’s side, solid and warm and, still, refreshingly real. al’s head rests against her arm. ‘ is that not life? ’ she tugs on a lock of her hair, curling it around one of her fingers. does anyone really know what they’re doing in life? truly? anyone who claims otherwise is a fool or a liar. sometimes both.

          ‘ purpose helps, though. ’ 

          the ship thrums beneath their feet, against their backs, like a steady, mechanical pulse. ‘ also, ’ she lifts her head, smiling like she’s going to say something soft. instead, there’s a knife’s edge pressed to val’s side, not-quite tearing the cloth of her tunic. 

          ‘ you’re getting rusty. ’

[martyrar-a]

icb one day i’ll meet gem and then immediately get murdered !

[martyrar-a]

thats bc im indie trash

ok but you're more like a recycling bin bc you're good for the tumblr environment

[trashkyrie-a]

                           WHAT IS A GHOST ?

[trashkyrie-a]

'Do you remember when we first met?'

lotr. / @martyrar.

                  a smile crinkles upon her face as she turns to look at alruna. the blonde whittles, something she has picked up for the quieter hours of their life ( something that comes less and less every day, but is welcomed more and more ). brünnhilde figures that perhaps she should learn some kind of hobby with her hands as well ; they cannot always bleed others and be bled. but alruna’s patience and attention to detail has always been nothing short of mesmerizing to her ; something she can lose herself in with something as simple as this. the blonde doesn’t look up or over when she asks the question, as if it’s something casual and conversational. it is just casual and conversational.

                  ❛     no.      ❜

                  because she has tried to think of it before ; has tried to pinpoint the before and after mark of alruna but it hasn’t been possible. perhaps it is part of the job title because really, can she remember much of anything beyond the valkyrior ? ( there isn’t a birth family, just the family of those that bear arms with her. any warmth and loss she has felt has been in the hearth of them all. ) but maybe with her, it’s a bit more personal. a bit more true. brünnhilde shrugs and settles closer against the other woman, her head leaning upon her shoulder as alruna continues her work.

                  ❛     i can’t remember what it was like before you,                   but i figure that i’m better off like that.      ❜

[trashkyrie-a]

also, for good measure: here's a smooch, too.

                   she is beautiful. you almost forgot how beautiful she is –––– how alarmingly breathtaking alruna is and you almost feel like you will choke. there is a light breeze and there is sunlight behind her and there is alruna, right there, right fucking there ahead of you. and yeah, you know you are dreaming. you have to be. this doesn’t exist for you anymore ––––––– asgard, or her. but you don’t care. this is exactly what you drink to forget, but now that she is in front of you, you cannot help but hope your drinking has finally killed you and you have found valhalla.  

                  you know that isn’t so either. if only you could be so lucky. this will hurt in the morning, a fresh new wave of weight against your chest that will have your hands shaking until the fifth bottle. it doesn’t matter. you will yourself to not wake up. you take a couple of steps towards and you feel your mouth form the taste of her name in a way you haven’t let yourself in years. alruna, and your hand is out reaching towards her.

                  so you have forgotten your own name, but not mine, is it ?

                  you trip at her words but don’t fall to the ground. you didn’t expect her to speak. you expected her to just stand there, slightly too far away, and look at you until you woke yourself up with sobs. but she spoke, and damn she is smiling at you, and as you take another step closer she doesn’t move farther away.

                  so, you’re you. and you run towards her. she laughs and it is a symphony, something light and beautiful and it fills you up and you have to stop yourself from tripping again. her arms are around you like tendrils of the sun. she is warm and it feels so fucking real that you will yourself to not cry. not here, with her. you will when you wake up. instead you hold her close, close enough that you can feel a heartbeat and you know it’s probably yours, sure, but right now you can pretend it’s hers too. it’s hers and yours, both beating at the same time because that happened so often, it always astounded you, and you never left asgard. you’re still here, with her.

                  ❛     i miss you so much. so fucking much.       ❜

                  because that isn’t what is real, and what is happening here isn’t either. perhaps it is a gift or a curse –––––––––– you’ve seen sorcerers and the like do incredible things you could never imagine. perhaps someone is playing with your mind. perhaps you don’t care. because she is here and you can feel it as she cards her fingers through your hair and you hear her shush the welling of your eyes as you stay far enough back in her stance to be able to look at her face. closer still, your eyes track quickly to remember the things you’ve tried to drink away and forget and lose. i’ve missed you too, she tells you and a tear spills. you can’t help it, and she knows you can’t, and she smiles when she wipes a delicate finger on the loose droplet. you feel the edge of this right there, as if a paper to tear away, so you bring your two hands to cradle her face and you kiss her. it’s a nectar, a lifeblood from some life long ago, but it is here again for just a short amount of time. so you kiss her, and she kisses you, and you kiss her, and you kiss her, and you kiss her.

                  and you wake up. the floor of your room is cold and hard, your bed near enough that you should be in it but your drinking had a different idea. you keep it dark in here, boarding up the windows, and you’re thankful for that. light would wash away too much, see too much. there is still something tingling on your lips, and you bring your fingertips up to touch them. you know you’re crying as you huddle your body closer within it, but at least drunk you last night didn’t finish the bottle and it’s so close. you take it in your hands, but stay it for the moment, and let yourself stay there laying. alone. the memories fresh and flushing inside of you. you make yourself feel the hurt in ways you always deny it and refuse. you think it may have been a few hours when you finally let yourself take a sip, and begin the reality of your day chasing after a forget.

[martyrar-a]

trashkyrie.

@martyrar [ post x ]

                  there was so much that she drank away and forgot. coming upon asgard to fight for its people was like walking into an old friend’s memory ––– almost familiar, but it felt so different. maybe it was all the fire. or the years and booze on sakaar. it doesn’t matter, she figures. it’s gone. forever. more permanent than anything she ever was able to do.

                  but not everything is gone. the people. but she isn’t thinking of that now, no. valkyrie is thinking of her, a tendril of a memory she couldn’t drink away and as painful as it was, she was happy for that. an eternally bleeding open wound. alruna, a sword in her hand. alruna, alive and on the bridge. alruna, coming towards her and grasping her hand and telling her afterwards. it crashes against val in relentless waves ; the tide is always high.

                  she figures it’s been a couple days since they left. the ship moves slowly throughout the universe, but there’s been enough to keep val busy, she shouldn’t even have time to think of alruna. she does. she cannot stop. and if the other revengers notice it as they all try to get everyone and everything settled, they don’t mention it. she’s glad for it, but she knows its less of sensitivity and more about how everyone has so much bullshit atop them. everyone has ghosts. val’s is just alive and somewhere on this ship.

                  so on the day that she has time she won’t excuse away to helping and the ability personally to find her, it’s easy. as if alruna could tell she was finally okay to speak. she probably did ; the woman was always too observant, in ways that val could never be. in the mess hall over lunch, a meal valkyrie usually misses, she grabs something to eat –––– shit, she doesn’t even pay attention to what –––– and sits at the table alruna sits at alone. staring heavy, deep. she knows it’s her. but still she cannot help the foolish words that tumble out.

                  ❛     it’s really you ? this isn’t some day––                   dream, or hallucination, isn’t someone                   fucking with me ? you’re alive still ?                   you’re alive still.       ❜

          finding each other in battle is, altogether, a surprisingly simple occurrence. it is one thing to lay eyes on each other, to press skin to skin by the palm of your hands. it is an entirely different matter when you’re faced with the prospect of dealing with the aftermath. and, lucky for them, godsawful as the circumstances are, there is no end of work to be done. no end of distractions to keep them occupied. 

          alruna stays tucked into the crowd, close to a door --- she stays just out of notice, comfortable to watch thor take his new throne, comfortable to be a part of the masses. comfortable to be no one. she stays away. 

          she helps the asgardian people settle into their new home, temporary or not. and if she gathers children into circles, stuffy nosed and weary eyed, no one says anything. they’re all grateful for the stories she spins for them. they’re all grateful for any distraction they can grasp at. but still, she sits alone at her meals, tucked into hallway alcoves and the corners of the mess hall.

          and finally --- she figures it’s been time enough. she finds herself at a table by another door with a bowl of rationed soup, settled in a seat across from the woman she hasn’t known for many, many years. the scar at her belly itches. she doesn’t quite reach for her, but alruna’s hand sits still on the table between them, palm facing the ceiling. waiting patiently.

          “ i wouldn’t be this sore if i were a spirit. ” 

          maybe she’s getting old, maybe she’s just rusty. whatever it is, she’s still feeling the effects of the battle. she isn’t sure she enjoys it. “ i’m solid and real as you. at least, i hope. ” she swallows heavily. “ i’m still not entirely sure you’re here. ”

[littlelovelymemes]

✰  —  —  *  PARKS & RECREATION SENTENCE STARTERS

‘  i tried to make ramen in the coffee pot and i broke everything.  ’ ‘  i typed your symptoms into the thing up here and it says you could have network connectivity problems.  ’ ‘  there’s only one thing i hate more than lying: skim milk, which is water that’s lying about being milk.  ’ ‘  don’t be such a baby. i cooked you some bacon for a trail snack.  ’ ‘  i really only listen to german death reggae and halloween sound effects records from the 1950s.  ’ ‘  whenever she asks me for the latin names of any of our plants, i just give her the names of rappers.  ’ ‘  i once forgot to brush my teeth for five weeks.  ’ ‘  i didn’t actually sell my last car, i just forgot where i parked it.  ’ ‘  i don’t know who al gore is and at this point i’m too afraid to ask.  ’ ‘  when they say 2% milk, i don’t know what they other 98% is.  ’ ‘  i’ve only slept nine hours over the past four days so i’m right on the verge of a nervous breakdown.  ’ ‘  upon my death, all of my belongings shall transfer to the man or animal who has killed me.  ’ ‘  since i am not a rabbit, no, i do not want a salad.  ’ ‘  you’re like an angel with no wings.  ’ ‘  oh my god you have to stop using the word ‘nipple.’  ’ ‘  you’re right, i know. i have to be a grown up… but it’s so hard!  ’ ‘  i was reading an encyclopedia and i tripped or ‘fell over’ and hit my head. or ‘brain helmet.’  ’ ‘  oh my god, your boobs are dead.  ’ ‘  i have a medical condition, alright! it’s called caring too much and it’s incurable!  ’ ‘  he put all my records into this rectangle! the songs just play one right after the other! this is an excellent rectangle!  ’ ‘  if i keep my body moving and my mind occupied at all times, i will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair.  ’ ‘  guys love it when you can show them you’re better than they are at something they love.  ’ ‘  jogging is the worst. i mean, i know it keeps you healthy, but god, at what cost?  ’ ‘  i have done nothing wrong, ever, in my life.  ’ ‘  i know this and i love you.  ’ ‘  that’s too much responsibility. i gotta find a way out of this.  ’ ‘  you are a wonderful person. your friendship means a lot to me and you look very beautiful.  ’ ‘  i was kind of getting sick of listening to them talk about their relationship, but then i remembered that alcohol existed.  ’ ‘  i got stung once and i’m immune. go ahead and sting me, bees! it does nothing!  ’ ‘  i’m not afraid of cops! i have no reason to be. i never break any laws, ever… because i’m deathly afraid of cops.  ’ ‘  i’m fine. it’s just that life is pointless and nothing matters and i’m always tired.  ’ ‘  there will be alcohol there, so i will go as well.  ’ ‘  i can’t go because i don’t want to.  ’ ‘  i’m just gonna stay angry, i find that relaxes me!  ’ ‘  i don’t want to seem overdramatic, but i don’t really care what happens here.  ’ ‘  i’m just gonna leave early and go home.  ’ ‘  if any of you need anything at all, too bad.  ’ ‘  you have never been neutral on anything in your life. you have an opinion on pockets.  ’ ‘  dance up on me!  ’ ‘  i have an idea, it’s very uncool. it’s not illegal, technically. but it is a dick move.  ’ ‘  one time my refrigerator stopped working. i didn’t know what to do. i just moved.  ’ ‘  you’re stupid and you’re drunk and you’re stupid.  ’ ‘  you don’t even know one thing. i didn’t even say one thing and then she asked me the whole thing and i didn’t even do it once.  ’ ‘  i’m like an elephant, okay? if i walk into a room, it’s like, ‘oh he’s in there.’  ’ ‘  bababooey.  ’ ‘  mac and cheese pizza?! you’re making that?!  ’ ‘  i was dying earlier today. and then i died. now i’m dead.  ’ ‘  the only thing i will be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother!  ’ ‘  i don’t want to be overdramatic, but today felt like 100 years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.  ’ ‘  i have been kind of tense lately. just thinking about the new star wars sequel.  ’ ‘  it does look sad. kind of. sorry for stepping on you, floor.  ’ ‘  if you rearrange the letters of peru, you can spell europe.  ’ ‘  you’re as guilty as you are sexy.  ’ ‘  this maze is like a maze.  ’ ‘  sometimes when i blow my nose, i get a boner. i don’t know why. it just happens.  ’ ‘  so i feel like you were mad at me yesterday and i don’t know why so i made a list of everything i did and i’m gonna try not to do any of them again.  ’ ‘  no, i’m not crying, okay? i’m allergic to jerks!  ’ ‘  i don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are… actually, it’s going to bug me if i don’t.  ’ ‘  with all due respect, you’re a major dick.  ’ ‘  the calzones… betrayed me?  ’ ‘  who hasn’t had gay thoughts?  ’ ‘  do you think a depressed person could make this? no!  ’ ‘  i like your energy. what do you say you and i ride go-karts later?  ’ ‘  three words: treat. yo. self.  ’ ‘  treat yo self. it’s the best day of the year!  ’ ‘  i’ll tell you what. here’s the deal. if you get fired, i’ll quit, and we’ll leave together. i’m serious! move to a new city, change our names… burn our fingertips off with acid… swap faces… if we have to.  ’ ‘  monsters don’t have souls? uh, have you seen monsters inc?  ’ ‘  i make my money the old fashioned way: i got run over by a lexus.  ’ ‘  i took this thing called ‘zapvigil’ which apparently is what israeli fighter pilots use to stay awake so… right now it looks like i’m talking to a giant crab. stay away from me crab!  ’ ‘  well, you suck at being polite, sir.  ’ ‘  at one point, for no reason, i just took off my shoes and held them in my hand.  ’ ‘  three, two, one, and my shift’s over… what the fuck is your problem?!  ’ ‘  math is worthless in real life. i mean, there’s an app for calculating tips. that’s all you need.  ’ ‘  your house isn’t haunted, you’re lonely.  ’ ‘  just because i can’t go out with him, someone else can? wow.  ’ ‘  oh, this is bad. i should not have done this.  ’ ‘  she’s the worst person i’ve ever met. i want to travel the world with her.  ’ ‘  no, no, no, no. i’m not lonely. i have me.  ’ ‘  i love watching russian traffic accidents on youtube while i play children’s music at the wrong rpm.  ’ ‘  god, i am so annoyed that he would hypothetically do that.  ’ ‘  you beautiful, rule-breaking moth.  ’ ‘  you beautiful, naive, sophisticated newborn baby.  ’ ‘  you beautiful tropical fish.  ’ ‘  hope no one minds if i livetweet this bitch!  ’ ‘  i just want to hear the doctor say that he had a fart attack. is that too much to ask?  ’ ‘  the only things i like are dogs and sleeping late.  ’ ‘  it kind of sucks that i’m super broke and i want to buy you stuff and it’s embarrassing that i can’t.  ’ ‘  i don’t want anything. i just want to hang out with you.  ’ ‘  you’ve killed my spirit. my spirit’s blood is on your hands.  ’ ‘  i hate people.  ’ ‘  you can see the stars, which i hate. they’re creepy.  ’ ‘  i will kill you slowly with a giant syringe.  ’ ‘  what? i love garbage.  ’ ‘  i only tell the truth when it makes me sound like i’m lying.  ’ ‘  i want to be burned at the stake.  ’ ‘  i’m going to murder you a thousand times.  ’ ‘  people who buy things are suckers.  ’ ‘  this is 100% certified for realskis.  ’ ‘  well, if there’s anyone who can bring my parents together, it’s no one. no one can ever bring them together.  ’ ‘  getting married is the bravest, most wonderful thing you can do because every day you come home and you’re just like, ‘what? it’s you! i love you! you’re my sexy roommate. we love each other.’  ’ ‘  i am 100% certain that i am 0% sure of what i’m going to do.  ’ ‘  my anxiety has kept me up for over 50 hours.  ’ ‘  maybe we should find the person who stole your positive attitude.  ’ ‘  scientists believe that the first human being who will live 150 years has already been born. i believe i am that human being.  ’ ‘  messy is fun, okay? my whole life is a giant mess and i love it.  ’ ‘  friendship is better because friends help you move. they drive you to the airport. boyfriends just… love you and marry you.  ’ ‘  i hope you brought a change of clothes cause your eyes are about to piss tears.  ’ ‘  everything hurts and i’m dying.  ’ ‘  i need you to text me every 30 seconds saying everything’s gonna be okay.  ’ ‘  let me just say, from the bottom of my heart: my bad.  ’ ‘  there are no consequences to my actions anymore. i’m like a white, male u.s. senator.  ’ ‘  hey, are you busy? and writing star trek fan fiction does not count.  ’ ‘  what do we…? like, what do we do? like, what do we do? um, how- how do we- how…? how… how… how? what do we do?!  ’ ‘  oh, also, i have a little secret… i’m drunk.  ’ ‘  i do say the cutest stuff.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to cause a panic… news flash: we’re screwed!  ’ ‘  velvet slippies, cashmere socks, velvet pants, cashmere turtle. i’m a cashmere-velvet candy cane.  ’ ‘  you shut your mouth! you have all the strengths!  ’ ‘  never half-ass two things. whole-ass one thing.  ’ ‘  i’m a simple man. i like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food.  ’ ‘  i guess i kind of hate most things, but i never really seem to hate you.  ’ ‘  time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge. let’s go!  ’ ‘  i have no idea what i’m doing, but i know i’m doing it really, really well.  ’ ‘  ovaries before brovaries.  ’ ‘  sometimes you gotta work a little so you can ball a lot.  ’ ‘  i have never taken the high road, but i tell people to ‘cause then there’s more room for me on the low road.  ’ ‘  just remember, every time you look up at the moon, i, too, will be looking at a moon. not the same moon, obviously. that’s impossible.  ’ ‘  i’m just gonna go live under a bridge and ask people riddles before they cross.  ’ ‘  i love games that turn people against each other.  ’ ‘  i don’t care about that prize, but i’m gonna win because i want his happiness to go away.  ’ ‘  that is the coolest sentence i have ever heard somebody talk.  ’ ‘  i wanted to make fun of stupid people while i get drunk. my two true passions.  ’ ‘  i am big enough to admit that i am often inspired by myself.  ’ ‘  if i could go back in time and cut your eyeballs out, i would.  ’

[lifeinpoetry]

but there is a line where i both exist / & unexist

torrin a. greathouse, from “The Principle of Explosion,” Therǝ is a Case That I Ɐm (via lifeinpoetry)

[martyrar-a]

hey 12) things you said when you thought I was asleep

PROMPTS.

          they’re both curled up atop their bedrolls, only inches away from each other. if alruna twitches her leg just so, she will touch brünnh — valkyrie. val’s leg. ( she’s kept her tongue bitten, kept the name silent in her throat. the expression on her face when it tumbled out of her mouth is not one she wants repeated. there was pain, there was confusion. even worse, she was blank, like she didn’t recognize the name, all these years later. ) 

          but, her leg. knee already bent, she taps the back of val’s calf with her foot very softly. her eyes were closed last she’d seen, eyelashes fanning over her cheeks, but that does not mean she’s unconscious just yet. still, there’s no reaction, so it must be. there’s a tightness to val’s shoulders when she sleeps, she notices. it’s been so long that alruna can’t remember if it’s always been that way. she used to be looser, right? freer. less tense. all she knows is that her fingers itch to touch, to knead out the stiffness in the knobs of her spine.

          instead, she rolls over onto her back, clasping her hands over her belly. ( wandering hands, indeed. ) the words that slip out are unbidden and very, very soft.

     “ do not leave me. ” not again. never again.

[martyrar-a]

@trashkyrie replied to your post.

the amount u bold vs the amount val bolds, im

we all love your angsty problem child

[martyrar-a]

* CHARACTER FLAWS !

absent-minded | abusive | addict | adrenaline junkie | aggressive | aimless | alcoholic | anxious | arrogant | audacious | bad liar | bigmouth | bigot | blindly loyal | blunt | cautious | callous | childish | chronic heroism | cheater | clingy | clumsy | cocky | co-dependent | competitive | corrupt | cowardly | cruel | cynical | delinquent | delusional | dependent | depressed | deranged | disloyal | ditzy | egotistical | envious | erratic | evasive | fickle | finicky | fixated | flaky | frail | fraudulent | foul mouthed | guilt complex | gloomy | gluttonous | gossiper | gruff | grudge holding | gullible | hedonistic | humorless | hypochondriac | hypocritical | idealist | idiotic | ignorant | immature | impatient | incompetent | indecisive | insecure | insensitive | lazy | lewd | liar | lustful | manipulative | masochistic | meddlesome | melodramatic | money-loving | moody | naive | nervous | nosy | ornery | overprotective | overly-sensitive | paranoid | passive | passive-aggressive | perfectionist | pessimist | petty | power-hungry | proud | possessive | pushover | reactive | reckless | reclusive | remorseless | rigorous | sadistic | sarcastic | senile | selfish | self-destructive | self-martyr | shallow | skeptical | sociopathic | sore loser | spineless | spiteful | spoiled | stubborn | suspicious | suicidal | tactless | temperamental | timid | thief | tone-deaf | traitorous | un-athletic | ungracious | unlucky | unsophisticated | untrustworthy | vain | withdrawn | workaholic

TAGGED BY: @trashkyrie, a darling TAGGING: all of you a’ight

[lifeinpoetry]

I swear / I’ve died. I swear I was born / dead again.

Natalie Scenters-Zapico, from “Aesthetic Translation,” published in Zócalo Public Square (via lifeinpoetry)

[martyrar-a]

thunderwrought.

     she is responsible for his yelp and his instant interaction with the dirt on nidavellir. a quick scramble to his feet, and he’s whirling, the faintest bite to his words. ‘that wasn’t necessary!’

          “ i know. ” when he stands, alruna pats away at the dirt on his back. it is the closest thing he'll get to an apology, but even that is tarnished by the grin at her mouth. “ but it was entirely worth it. --- now, thor, answer me if you will: do you know anything about the terrain here? the creatures? ”