I'm a Parasite in Paradise

guts || 28 || they/it || 🔞no kids lol🔞 || really gay for @talkingfern 💕💍

[only-tiktoks]

[devantnuit-ladeluge]

[cryoverkiltmilk]

The absolute contempt for these locks is palpable.

[flanbolt]

[8nin]

“what’s stopping you from-“ listen i am so so sleepy

[um-jammer-tranny]

and like. broke

[giragirameganedan]

trans woman fiction author: the government mech that fingers you

trans man fiction author: the cowboys who cried and fingered each other

nonbinary fiction author: fingered by the crow gods

[lemonsweet]

Any time a customer is telling me a story and I can't understand them/what they're talking about and I'm just nodding and agreeing and looking interested I think of this gif

[gumy-shark]

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes

[troutreznor]

https://blinkies.cafe

[infestuous]

this post really attracted the lamest people in the fucking world

[avalonjoan]

Love that you’re making it clear exactly what physical demands this job has, but could you possibly, potentially, phrase it differently?

[sternfleck]

My resume

[fairycosmos]

let it go my friend... i say this as a fat "ugly" dyke. your body is the vehicle w which you move in the world, give love, receive love, make things, SEE things, KNOW things. that's all that matters. beauty and ugliness are marketing scams esp for women. LIVE and FUCK THE WORLD it's not easy to get there but it's so sweet. ppl will love you fat and "ugly" i swear on god.

this is like a religious text to me and i'm not joking even a little

[whyenn-reader]

you are not immune to inventing an arbitrary set of rules that only you have to adhere to

[couchnapping]

flaccid penis... it's chic, it's hip, it's the next big thing

[couchnapping]

it's the next thing

[pussylipgloss]

uptown funk made me sexually attracted to bruno mars…….

[woodmeat]

stop!!!

[woodmeat]

wait a minute

[woodmeat]

fill my butt put some liquor in it!

[lesvegas]

passing in public makes me feel like white shrek

[lesvegas]

literally how it feels

[welpnotagain]

[outofcontextmaryworthpanels]

[segamascott]

[contextfreepatentart]

[threedollarsdotcom]

yaouch! that hurts me when you hit me until I'm blood