ATL - Can't Leave U Alone
My sister recently showed me this song a couple days ago, I think. I fell in love with it. I know it doesn't really fit my current situation, but for some reason, this song hella reminds me of him =)
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@masaaaaa
ATL - Can't Leave U Alone
My sister recently showed me this song a couple days ago, I think. I fell in love with it. I know it doesn't really fit my current situation, but for some reason, this song hella reminds me of him =)
Love,
Nothing is certain in this world but if there was one thing I was certain of...
It would be that I love you, unconditionally. With every inch of my body; with every single space of my heart. I've caged my heart for such a long time because I feared the pains of love and feared uncertainty. I was stuck in a crossroads figuring out what I was more afraid of: loving you or losing you. But I realized that because I loved you so much, I was terrified of losing you and not having you in my life.
But now, my heart knows what it wants; I know what I want and I completely open my heart to you. It belongs to you and only you. And I've never been so sure of something in my entire life until you came along.
You are my beautiful surprise, the one person I did not see coming. I wasn’t expecting to fall in love with you, but you completely swept me off my feet. Your love has genuinely made my world better and beautiful. Amidst all my insecurities, when you tell me I’m beautiful, I feel like I can do anything. You inspire me to be the best that I can be and to see myself as the beautiful and strong woman you see me as. God has been so good to me and you are evidence of how much He loves me. You are truly a blessing, baby and I have no idea what I did to deserve someone as special as you.
I knew you were the One for a long time already but there were moments where I didn’t want to admit it to myself: the idea of forever with you. It scared me because we didn’t know what was going to happen. Again, nothing is certain. I didn't want to seem naive. But the thought of forever with you made me genuinely happy. It still continues to make me happy. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to be able to be with you every single day. To be greeted with a good morning kiss each morning, and to end the night, laying with you, with your arms wrapped around me. A dream waiting to become a reality.
Whatever our future holds, just know that I can't wait to spend it with you. And I can’t wait for the day where I can call you mine, forever. Thank you for being that missing piece in my life. Thank you for helping me believe in love again. Thank you very being the person that I can entrust my heart to. But most importantly, thank you for loving me for who I am and for bringing out the best in me.
I love you with all of my heart, baby. Nothing is ever going to change that.
2013,
My 2013 has been one hell of a ride. I had my shares of ups and downs but I have no regrets whatsoever. The good has made me a better person. The bad as made me a stronger person. God has been so good to me this year even when my Walk ran jagged at times. He has not left my side one bit and His blessings continued and continues to overflow. My family, close friends, and boyfriend have been more than amazing and I can't ask for a better support team. And my direction in life is starting to make perfect sense.
I am leaving 2013 behind now and heading into a new year as a stronger, independent, and God-fearing woman.
I have no resolutions this year, but I will remind myself to stay true to who I am. I am an imperfect human being who makes mistakes and will continue to make mistakes as long as I live. And I will promise myself to treat each day as a new one and live it as if it was going to be my last.
I have no idea what God has in store for me this year, but I'm ready for whatever trials and successes will come my way.
Hello 2014.
Being a Youth Leader
I've been working with the youth ever since I was a senior in high school (even though I was a youth myself). To be looked up to and told that you've made a difference in a young person's life is one of the most fulfilling feelings I have ever felt in my life. And from that moment on, I knew that one of my purposes in life was to work with young people and make a difference. I didn't know how I was going to do that. I didn't know how I was going to even approach that endeavor. I just knew that I had this passion for it.
When an opportunity came to be a youth leader at Good Shepherd Community Church, I couldn't pass that up. I've been a Pillar for about three years now and I will admit, it is not the easiest job in the world, especially when you are tempted and tried from left to right. There were times where I felt like I failed my fellow Pillars and my youth. There were times where I thought, maybe I'm not capable for this; maybe I wasn't the right person for this. There were times where I didn't feel like leading, didn't feel like being a Pillar anymore. But time and time again, God showed me and reminded me why I was His perfect candidate and why I was placed in this position that I am in.
We just had our first ever Youth Camp this weekend, and now I know that I'm in this for the long haul. I have never been so blessed to see youth come together to worship the Lord. I've seen these kids work so hard, play hard, support each other, and just show so much love for one another. As a youth leader, it's definitely a proud moment that will be kept in the books forever. And at the bonfire, tears pouring down on these young peoples' faces, seeing them walk up to be prayed for, accepting Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Everyone was just overcome by the Holy Spirit and how can someone not be overwhelmed by that? And this was all God. He made all of this happen and to be personally chosen by Him to lead the youth on their personal Walks is a privilege and a blessing.
And I don't do this for the fulfillment of my own happiness. I'm doing this for the kids. If there was one thing I learned about being a youth leader is to not be self-centered, but other-centered. Everything that God has led me to do, it was to help others in one way or another. I want to see these youth grow in their faith and know Christ like I know Him. I want them to experience how amazing our God is. If I can do that, make that small difference, I know that my service to God as a Pillar is what I'm supposed to be doing.
I know that this journey isn't going to get any easier, but I'm willing to move through the trials and struggles if this is what the reward feels like. If this is what's going to put a smile on God's face, then I'll endure. And because I know God will be with me through all of this, I have nothing to worry about. God has never left my side once, why would He now?
I love being a Pillar. I love what I do as a Pillar. And I love my youth. I can't ask for anything better.
dude loving the music on repeat for the past hour love the beat too :3 keep it up!!!!
Aww! Thanks, homie! :) means a lot! I'll definitely tell my boyfriend you're feeling the beat!
Sensitivity
My real self is the person that isn't afraid to talk about what bothers her in a space where everyone has full access to it. I want to be transparent, but I'm afraid of being transparent.
I was talking to my sister this evening and we can get into some deep shit. I can tell you that. But I was telling her how afraid I was of letting myself go, to show how vulnerable I can be, especially when it comes to my writing. My point of view: no one likes to read or hear about people always being angry, sad or depressed. So I never write about it, or I am hesitant to. But I feel like the realest part of me comes from the vulnerability.
I hide things a lot, too much sometimes... that it becomes a problem with certain people. I was never one to voice out my problems. Was I raised like that? Not necessarily. But I've been through situations where suppressing my innermost thoughts got me out of trouble. And that's all I knew.
There are so many thoughts that I wish I can express, but I'm just too scared to. It gets pretty frustrating , sometimes. If I just allowed myself to jump over that wall, trust me...I will burn through these blog posts like a mafucka.
But I'm trying my best to slowly make some progress, to tell myself that it's okay to be vulnerable.
Who gives what people say, right?
An oldie, but goodie :) this song is very close to my heart so I decided to share it again <3
So...I finally utilized my mic, like I promised! For those of you who have been waiting for me to drop something, here it is! My boyfriend made the beat and this is the final product :) I hope you guys enjoy!
"So much for trying to blog on a regular basis. It's about to be a month since I've wrote something here. Life went into fast-forward mode real quick with school, work and church responsibilities. And I just haven't found time to just kick back, relax, and write freely. And I just realized how cluttered my mental space has become..."
Blogspot.
I've been trying to get back to blogging lately... but its not working out. I don't know if I need a change of scenery or what. So I'm going to go back to my Blogspot that I had abandoned awhile back. I'll still use Tumblr, don't worry. I just need a place where I can write again.
masaaaaa.blogspot
Cocaine 80s - Fly Ass Pisces
I think you need someone like me, something like a fly ass pisces
Jhene Aiko ft. James Fauntleroy - Wrap Me Up
I couldn't stop thinking about you last night. It literally took me 45 minutes to train my mind of other things. I don't know what it is because I've been doing so well these past couple of months. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years Eve. I was good. But yesterday, today... I just couldn't hold myself together.
I miss you.
Joe - Alone
Saturday,
I leave 45 minutes before my shift when I close just to give myself enough time to find parking since people are ruthless. Luckily, I found parking within ten minutes of being there. I chilled in my car to just kill some time.
I then notice an African American woman walking around the lot. And I said to myself.. Aww man, it's another homeless person begging for money. She was talking to a lady a couple cars away from me and I began to gather my things, just in case she came tapping at my window and giving me her story. I got out of the car as fast as I could, walked off towards the entrance as fast as I could until I heard..
"Ma'am, excuse me. Ma'am"
She caught me. I turned around and there she was. She came up to me, showing me her identification in one hand and telling me that her and her daughter have been sleeping at the VTA station for the past four days waiting for a space at he domestic violence shelter nearby. In the other hand, she showed me her coins..majority of them being pennies. In my mind, I only have a dollar to give. But then she goes on to say, even if you don't have money, I'll take anything... food, maybe?
WIthout hesitation, I told her, food? Yeah, I can get you some food. Her eyes glowed with happiness and gratefulness. I walked with her into the mall. Her pace growing faster with excitement every minute. I was having a difficult time catching up. She kept telling me how grateful and what a blessing I was, her eyes swelling with tears. I tried my best holding my tears back. She asked me if I was shopping and I told her I was on my way to work, pointing to my store as we passed by. She stopped and started feeling bad.. "are you sure?!" I gave her smile and nodded. "No it's okay! It's not a problem"
As we got into the line, I told her to get whatever she wanted. And there it was again, that glow in her eyes. She grabbed a footlong, a soda, soup, and two bags of chips: for her and for her 8 year old daughter. As I finished paying, she gave me the tightest hug ever and I saw the happiness and relief in her eyes. "Oh, God is good. Thank you so much! My daughter's going to be so excited to know that her mama has food"
My heart was filled with joy that day. To see the strength she had really inspired me. You really won't know what people are going through until you listen. And I'm glad I turned back because moments like that leave an imprint in your heart forever. I'm not writing to gloat or brag. I'm writing for inspiration, a call for compassion. Because it really does make a difference.
Yes. Truth is, I havent been quite devoted to tumblr as I use to be. That being said, whatever happened to real blogs? I mean, all I see in my dashboard are pictures of food, cats, skinny-ass models, Kim K, the now over used saying, “YA BISH”, and a shit load of pointless GIFs. Where as originality gone? Has the definition of “blog” vanished? Have I been living under the tumblr-hiatus rock for that long? I do understand that Tumblr is a place to share pictures, quotes, links, music, and videos. But honestly, where did the ideas and thoughts in your mind go? What happened to writing about your day? What about the subliminal stories about the cutie you’ve been crushin’ on head to? Is it safe to say that tumblr has lost it’s significance? You could be the judge of that.
Been waiting for someone to say something. Took the words right outta my mouth.
Justin Timberlake - Suit & Tie ft. Jay-z (Prod. By Timbaland)
THATS HOW YOU MAKE A COME BACK.
Best song of the year. Already.
YES. YES. YES. I haven't heard this sexy voice in years! *fangirl