with the wind rushing through your hair and the shared playlist you created with 𝗱𝗼𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗴 playing in the background, anything felt possible. as you both screamed the lyrics to your favorite songs, you realized that 𝗱𝗼𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗴 was truly irreplaceable.
you felt alive. with 𝗱𝗼𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗴 by your side, you could overcome anything. he may have not been your significant other but he was your best friend and that’s all that mattered. you couldn’t imagine your life without him and hoped that it would never come to that.
all the love songs you made him listen to, came back to him now. this may be how it felt like to fall in love. there was no sudden realization or life changing moment. it was as it had always been with you, simple and effortless. in the back of his mind, he had always known that he loved you. now that he knew, he accepted his feelings but he knew that you could not return them. your heart was with someone else who was not him. for now, he was satisfied with being a part of your life even if it pained him to see you with another.
From a distance, people could see the girl standing alone under the dim lamppost and gave her pitiful looks, but she couldn’t care less. The pendant swung lifelessly in her hands.
There he was, slipping his fingers into her slim hands delicately.
The river beneath them let out a small burp, swallowing a shiny object deep into its body.
...
Later that week, he shut the heavy door behind him and let the Christmas lights welcome him.
His housemate and long-time friend greeted from the living room. “Slept over at her place, huh?”
But there was no response. He was too busy staring wide-eyed at the empty room to his right. When his friend finally joined him at the door of the hollow area, he turned to the speechless boy with a raised eyebrow.
“Didn’t you know? She moved out yesterday.”
...
She let go of her crutches and settled down on the edge of a wet wooden bench, her eyes drifting off to the natural shimmer of the night river.
He swept her hair away from her face and breathed warm breaths of air into her hands. His eyes met hers and radiated with unmatched happiness.
The girl turned on her heels with the help of her crutches and walked away from the beautiful view.
She would tell him another time, she decided, when they were alone, that she had one month left with him and no will left to fight.
The velvet box in front of him is wide open, revealing the ring he had proposed to you with so long ago. He had been so nervous when he had first bought it - not because it would empty his wallet of everything it held but because he knew you only deserved the best, the finest of everything, and it wasn’t. If he could give you the world, there was nothing that could stop him from doing so. But he couldn’t. And so he had to settle for a ring that, although beautiful, could never have matched the beauty you radiated. A vision beyond belief, you were, truly.
Summary: Welcome to the house of torture, where you find yourself struggling to survive.
Note: This is the last installment of “My Little Secret”! It was supposed to be longer (seriously, way longer), but I decided to cut it down. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to upload today. If you haven’t read part 1 or part 2, check them out here or here. Enjoy!
It was day two of you living in the house of torture, and the torture began with a simple call. Nothing was more tiring than the constant cries of your morning alarm, but nothing was more frightening than waking up to the screaming ringtone of your phone before your alarm. It was five minutes till five in the morning, and Johnny was calling you--nothing about it was a good sign.
The week before you had temporarily moved into the Jung, Lee, Kim household, Johnny and you were promoted to one of the higher positions in your department, effectively ending your boss-and-subordinate position with Jia and subsequently her frequent calls, which you felt sorry to whomever would take your position. Instead, your calls came from Johnny, who was your partner-in-crime in the company since you two were exclusively the two assistants of Chris, your current boss.
With you groggily forcing yourself up your bed, the phone kept ringing across the room. You were trying that “life hack” of waking up in one try by having your phone away from easily accessible areas around you, but with the surprise calls, you were sure to give up the habit soon.
“What?” you said grouchily into the speaker once you barely made it to your desk.
“Yeesh, I woke the Grinch up,” Johnny responded jokingly.
You wouldn’t have it. “It’s almost five, Johnny. We leave for work at seven.”
Cue the dramatic list of things you had to do that day, commencing your wonderful morning of your second day in the house that wasn’t yours. That was just a small appetizer of the horrors of your mornings there. They were nothing in comparison to your nights when you would return to the sweet smell of whatever dish Doyoung or Jaehyun were cooking but couldn’t afford to eat with the work you had to do. They paled in comparison to your lonely nights up in the kitchen, fetching water while looking over some thick files in the dimly-lit kitchen. They were a speck of dust in comparison to the nights when you actually had the time to sleep, yet you couldn’t. You would lie awake in bed, drowning yourself in a whirlpool of the same thoughts. What kind of thoughts? Surprisingly, none of them had to do with your work. No, you were sick of it. Rather, they were the kind of thoughts that involved the certain man sleeping in the next room.
Caught up with work, it wasn’t hard to swallow your feelings about Jaehyun whenever you two were in the same room, an occurrence that was rare with your crazy schedule and Jaehyun’s focus on Jaehyung. Sometimes, you would wonder why your sister suggested that you filled in her spot while she was away when all you would do was work even in the house.
Days rolled by quicker than you expected, and they were unsurprisingly unpleasant. You were able to suppress your feelings for Jaehyung to some degree and could hold conversations with him, building the foundation of your guys’ relationship as in-laws. You even initiated the conversations sometimes. But all that just reminded you that you couldn’t have him, and it was killing you.
Soon, it was the second to last day at the house, and you (thankfully) had the day off. You had told Jaehyun the night before to relax so that you could start taking care of Jaehyung more, but the kind father refused. So there you were on the couch, watching Jaehyung’s favorite movie with everyone else in the living room. It was one of the rare moments when Jaehyung stayed quiet, his eyes watching the screen with so much anticipation that you wanted to pinch his cheeks. You didn’t, of course, since you didn’t want to pull him out of his zone. Instead, you focused your attention to the movie, which you admittedly thought was entertaining
Lunch rolled by like a breeze and Jaehyung was sound asleep in his room. Before you knew it, you were back in your room on your laptop, looking over the interview Johnny had with one of the most renowned artists of the digital age even though it was your day off.
“Johnny, I think you can send it to Chris,” you spoke into your speaker, making small commentary on a few slides. “It looks great.”
Despite giving him the okay sign to proceed with the presentation, you sensed that there was hesitation on the other line.
“What?” you asked, an ugly feeling clawing into you. “What’s wrong?”
Another moment of silence sunk in before Johnny dropped the bomb. “Chris also told me that Jack’s manager called.”
You drew a sharp breath inward. “No.”
From your friend’s visibly frustrated sigh, you could only imagine your boss’ deeply furrowed eyebrows. “Don’t tell me he canceled.”
“He said something about schedule conflicts.”
There was no better word than exasperation to describe how you felt. Jack was someone everyone from Asia to North America knew. He was the guy that everyone wanted to get an interview of--he always turned offers down. Somehow, Chris managed to get a hold of his manager and arranged a meeting for both an interview and a photoshoot, but there was always an unspoken tension that whispered an ominous message that Jack would cancel. The main story for your November issue was now empty.
“That jackass,” you murmured under your breath as you furiously typed a message to Chris on your phone. “With two days from the shoot he’s bailing? Unbelievable.”
“Chris already said that there was nothing we could do about it,” Johnny said, stopping you from your impetuous typing. “So don’t request that we call Jack’s manager again.”
“We can’t just let this egoistic man do whatever he pleases,” you huffed furiously. “Our entire team has been working day and night for this, and the one day we’re let to rest is the day he decides to suddenly say that he won’t be cooperating. The audacity of this man to cancel two days before the shoot is unacceptable. Just who on Earth does he think he is?”
By the time you were done ranting, you were already seated on the edge of your bed, pulling up your socks.
“A worldwide superstar,” Johnny candidly replied to your rhetorical question.
“Well he obviously needs a wake-up call,” you grumbled. “Can you send me his address?”
Rummaging through your bag in an effort to find your keys, you heard Johnny say, “You don’t even know if he’ll be there.”
“So I’ll camp out.”
At that statement, Johnny decided against picking up a fight. He knew better than to have you get riled up even more. You were on your way out when Jaehyun came out of his room with Mark and asked where you were going.
“Work,” you said over your shoulder before swiftly leaving the house before anyone could say anything else.
“Isn’t it her day off?” Mark uttered when he recovered from the fact that you had just gotten away in a blink of an eye. “It’s a national holiday.”
With a frown, the taller man stared at the door. “Jaehyung was looking forward to spending the afternoon with her.”
“Maybe she’ll come back soon.”
It was midnight by the time you had personally convinced Jack to take part in the interview and photoshoot. You had waited in your car for six hours in front of his house, hoping that each car that passed by belonged to Jack. At the second hour mark, Johnny joined you in the waiting session, originally there to tell you that you were crazy until he gave in. For half an hour, Jack refused to let you in. He thought you were a fan at first, but even after you cleared the misinterpretation, he still refused to let you in, let alone be the main story of the magazine. It didn’t matter if the wind was frosting your hands or freezing your ears: you had to convince Jack. After waiting outside at his gates for another four hours, you successfully got the conceited man to let you in for only five minutes.
“You’re seriously crazy,” Johnny breathed out into the cold night the moment you two stepped out of Jack’s house. “You’re a crazy lady.”
A huge smile was planted on your lips as you closed the gates behind Johnny.
“We did it,” you said, almost whispering. “We did it.”
Engulfing you in a warm hug, Johnny patted your back and gave you a squeeze. “You did it.”
You laughed joyously and swayed your bodies side-to-side, returning Johnny’s actions, and when you let go of him, you immediately squealed and jumped around like a two-year old.
“We got Jack!” you shouted excitedly, twirling across the street. “We did it!”
It probably wasn’t the best idea to run around the streets at midnight when you were exhausted from waiting because on the way to your sister’s house, you were yawning every passing second and almost fell asleep at each red light you encountered. Making it across the lawn wasn’t an easy task either with the wind forcefully pushing away from entering. It was a quarter till one in the morning when you opened the front door, greeted by your brother-in-law from the kitchen. You weakly waved at him, but were too tired to bother starting a small conversation with him. You couldn’t even hear the man ask you whatever he asked, not even your name. All you could do was stare at your moving legs, which seemed to move on a mind of their own as they moved past the shoe room, and watch your world turn black.
...
“No, Johnny was there with me,” Doyoung heard you say while he flipped the waffle maker over the stove. “Yeah, I’m glad we didn’t cancel everything.”
“Jesse?” he called out, leaning his head back to see you reach out for the doorknob.
“Don’t worry!” you responded, waving to him briefly. “I’ll be back before dinner!”
And you were gone like that. At the sound of the door shutting, a certain someone with a long pair of joggers and a white t-shirt appeared from the basement.
“Was that Mark?” he asked in a husky voice, slipping into one of the dining chairs.
When Doyoung revealed that it was you, the man immediately shot up from his chair and rushed to the windows. Sure enough, you were speedily walking across the street, busily talking to someone on the phone.
Catching you while you were knocked out was the last thing Jaehyun had imagined he would be doing earlier that morning. He was so concerned that you wouldn’t return home that he stayed up all night, wandering back and forth from the living room to his room, so he almost lost it when you fell into his arms. No matter how many times he called out your name, you wouldn’t wake up. Crouched on the ground with you cradled in his arms, he watched you soundly breathe in and out with a relieved expression. Gathering his strength, he stood on his feet and lifted you up in bridal style, taking you to your room as quietly as he could. While he tucked you under the covers, he watched you go off into dreamland peacefully, which oddly made him feel at ease. As he brushed away a few stray strands of hair from your face and observed your soft but dominant facial features, a strong wave of discovery hit him like a rock. His pulse began to pick up, and he was no longer at ease. But what he did was simple: he left an unopened box of aspirin and a water bottle next to your phone, which he carefully placed on the bedside table. When you left the house without a notice, he went into your room and saw the aspirin tray peeking out of its box and the water bottle three-quarters full. A smile unknowingly rested on his face.
Later that night, when you returned well past dinner time, you went straight to your room, passing the meal that was left for you on the dinner table and calling Jia.
“That’s great,” you told her through the phone, plopping down onto your chair. “Tell Emma that we’re expecting her entire team there, too.”
A small repetition of knocks shortly followed and seeing who it was at the door, you quickly hung up on Jia and swiveled your chair around.
“What’s up?” you greeted the man of your dreams, watching him take great strides towards your bed. “I thought you were asleep.”
“I couldn’t,” he replied simply, situating himself comfortably on top of your big covers.
Turning around back to your computer, you attempted to force down the intense emotions that were resurfacing. With the handsome man showing up in casual joggers and a simple t-shirt, an outfit that looked damn fine on him, you had to mentally slap yourself to come back to your senses. But they kicked back in an instant when he called, “Jesse.”
At the sound of your name melodiously leaving the lips of Jaehyun, you restrained yourself from looking at him.
“I’m listening,” you said, searching for a lost document in the sea of mess known as your desktop.
A short-lived second of crickets passed before he said, “Shouldn’t you be taking a break from work?”
With your eyes busily scanning for the file, you answered monotonously, “I already did when we were watching the movie yesterday.”
“You came back at one yesterday,” he urged in a more pressing voice. “Jaehyung was waiting for you.”
That got you to stop what you were doing. You hated it when you let down Jaehyung, and you didn’t need to be reminded of your constant shortcomings.
“I’ll see him first thing in the morning,” you said barely above a whisper.
“Jesse, look at me.”
Those four simple words were all it took for your heart to skip a beat. A small tugging of your heart began, the tug you felt during your sleepless nights. Silently sighing, you prepared yourself to set your eyes on the most beautiful man. Of all your years working and facing severely bad days, the hardest challenge in your life was to look at Jaehyun straight in the eye. Nothing competed the concerned gaze he gave you. Absolutely nothing.
Giving yourself another mental slap, you returned his seriousness with a flat, naive look. When he took a step forward, beginning his advancement towards you, you focused your nervous, excited energy on your toes, squeezing them. With a few feet in between you two, he settled on your desk and held your gaze with so much intensity that you had to blink.
“Don’t you think you’re working too much?”
Your brows instantly furrowed. “What?”
“You’re giving up your personal time and social life to work when you don’t have to.”
Despite Jaehyun’s soft, cautious tone, you felt attacked and alert: the man you loved thought you had no social life.
“I do have a social life,” you argued, returning your gaze back to the screen to break the horrific feeling sinking into your stomach. “You just don’t know it.”
“Jesse.”
The smooth, fragile fingers of the man spread warmth throughout your body when he touched your arm. The sound of your heart beating grew louder and louder, your face, in contrast, stoic as a rock. You had no idea how to react. The man’s hand was on your arm! It was even squeezing your arm for a quick second.
“I’m saying this for your better interest.”
You couldn’t register anything he was saying; your attention was taken away by his hand. It was as smooth as silk compared to your rough, unmoisturized hands. Thankfully, it wasn’t too long when an idea occurred to you. You strategically leaned into your chair, naturally (and regrettably) pulling your arm away from the man’s touch.
You cleared your throat and gathered the courage to face him eye-to-eye. “So I work overtime sometimes. What’s wrong with that?”
“When was the last time you enjoyed a full day off?” When a grilling number of silent seconds ensued, he continued, “You always couldn’t make it to our dinner invitations and left Jaehyung bummed out.”
The butterflies began to subside when a new, more vivid feeling arose.
“I’m sorry, but the truth is that I work for something that needs my constant attention,” you said, your eyes darkening.
His eyes dug deep into you, insisting you to think again. At that point, you were slowly getting frustrated. How could you bear the atrocity of him belonging to someone else while caring for you like that? You hated how you felt.
“Why do you care?” you shot, not meaning for it to come out as harsh as it did. “I get that I’m Janet’s sister and Jaehyung’s aunt, but I don’t need you to feel obligated to care just because of my connection with them.”
It was Jaehyun’s turn for his eyebrows to knit together. “As a friend, I think that it’s not good for you to always be overworked.”
You snapped. “Don’t give me that crap, Jaehyun!”
You felt a part of yourself fall at the crestfallen expression that formed on Jaehyun’s face, but you were still pissed at how he made you feel stupid and giddy inside even though he wasn’t yours.
“Since when were we friends?” you striked. “We only know each other because of Janet!”
With an incredulous expression, Jaehyun exclaimed, “So all this time you initiated a conversation or smiled at me was not because we were friends but because you felt obligated to?” He stood up from the desk in fury and stepped forward. “I couldn’t sleep because I cared about you and was worried that you wouldn’t come back! You know why? Because you never come back! Not even on the holidays!”
You pushed onward and pointed your finger at his chest. “You’re the one who feels obligated to treat me the way you do! You’re the one who feels the need to look out for me just because I’m Janet’s younger sister! Did I ask you to set me up with Jungwoo? No! Did I ask you to stay up for me? No! So stop making me feel so damn bad when I already feel like I’m at rock bottom for treating Jaehyung the way I have!”
You were so caught up in the moment that you didn’t notice the lack of proximity between you two. Your mind was running with furious thoughts, not giving you a chance to cool down. But the sudden change in Jaehyun’s expression broke the angry momentum: his face had fallen back to a broken manner. You watched his eyes stare into yours, waiting for something you didn’t know what you were waiting for. It was a matter of moments when his mouth slightly parted and spilled something you wish you could unhear.
“The only reason why I look out for you is because I have feelings for you.”
There went the sound of your heart pounding harder than ever with the rush of adrenaline spreading throughout your body. A chilling breeze ran down your spine as you watched Jaehyun wait for your reaction with pained eyes, causing you to step backwards, away from the taken man.
“No, no you don’t,” you whispered, shaking your head. “Take that back. You don’t mean that. You don’t.”
Your breathing rapidly fastened. Your palms became sweaty. The room felt suffocating. Jaehyun remained where he was--until you took in his honest self for one last time and left him for the bathroom, where you sat in the corner and let the tears you hadn’t let out for years trickle down your exhausted face. By the time you returned to your room, he was gone.
The next morning, you vanished from the house, leaving Jaehyung the presents you intended on giving him when your sister arrived next to his bed. You remembered the day you went shopping with Jaehyung and Jaehyun, secretly looking for their presents. You remembered how happy Jaehyung was to be running in the big mall. Most of all, you remembered Jaehyun’s sweet voice and his fatherly smile. You threw his present in the trash can.
There was no trace of you left in the house of torture except for the food you left uneaten. When you closed the front door behind you, you cut off the string to the red thread that you had hung on for so long. But what you didn’t know was that the man in joggers and white t-shirt had grabbed on, holding on for dear life. You started the engines to your car and drove off in the dark streets. You were still fumbling to hold the red thread, trying to grab onto the falling pieces.
There he was, the man of your dreams. Oh, how lucky you were because, of course, he had his arms around another girl, namely your close friend. His soft chocolate orbs stared deeply into your friend’s hazel ones, whispering silent messages of love and appreciation. He towered over your short friend, a feature that made her even more irresistibly cute. Worst of all, he had no idea of your existence.
“Still haven’t talked to him?” a voice spoke behind you, pulling you away from your quiet manner. “I’m telling you, if you don’t make a move now, he’ll never know you.”
The empty seat across from you was soon occupied by your project partner-turned-friend, Jaehyun, blocking your view of the lovely couple at the other picnic table.
“It’s too late,” you muttered under your breath before you took a gigantic bite out of your meatball sub.
Your deeply purple-haired friend looked over his shoulder and caught a glimpse of the giggling lovebirds.
“So Mark’s going out with one of your friends and he’s also my friend, but he still doesn’t know your name?” he said, averting his eyes to your lousy state. “That’s pathetic, you know?”
You continued eating, unfazed by the usual bluntness you had gotten used to. He scoffed at your messy style of eating as you dropped a few pickles here and there onto the torn plastic wrap.
“This whole picnic idea is pathetic,” you mumbled through your half-full mouth. “You were all like, ‘Hey, it’s a nice day today. Let’s go eat lunch out there!’ but this is just plain cruelty.”
Jaehyun sent a short-lived apologetic smile your way and stole the lost pickles, which you didn’t really like in your food anyway.
How you and Jaehyun became friends was a wonder. You two were simply partners for a business project, but somewhere along the way, he started growing more sarcastic. He also grew fond of teasing you whenever he could, which was a 180-degree different side of him when he had first introduced himself to you with his killer soft smile and dimples that would make any girl swoon. You had to admit, you had a crush on him at first, but his increasingly frequent sarcastic remarks turned you off. By the time your project ended, you and Jaehyun were practically inseparable; you went to festivals together and watched newly released movies at the comfort of your aunt’s house, which she let you live in since she was primarily living in the countryside, not in the city.
Jaehyun was your wingman and you were his wingwoman: whenever either one of you wanted to catch another person’s attention, you would use each other and send ridiculous hand signals. Oftentimes, you would pretend that he was a social media influencer and asked for his autograph. It was a silly act, you both admitted, but it worked in the shallow society you lived in. But Mark Lee was a different case. He wasn’t one of those guys you were infatuated by momentarily. No, he was the man you loved for three months and counting.
“How am I supposed to get over him?” you sighed after chomping down your sub, something Jaehyun never failed to be amazed at.
With his eyebrows raised, he instinctively wiped the sauce staining your chin with a napkin and asked, “What do you mean ‘get over him’? Why do you have to get over him?”
In a matter-of-a-fact tone, you replied, “Even if they break up, I can’t have him. It’s the rule.”
“Well it’s a stupid rule.”
It was a stupid rule, indeed, but you knew that if any one of your friends dated your past exes, you would go livid. If only you had no moral consciousness...
There went another round of a laughing fit behind Jaehyun. You couldn’t care less about what the two were laughing about; you just wanted to be the one laughing with the black-haired prince, the one with the luscious hair that stopped at the rims of his round glasses.
“I wish I could touch his hair,” you murmured, enviously watching your friend brush her fingers through his soft locks of hair.
“You can touch mine,” Jaehyun offered, tilting his head towards you. “I conditioned it yesterday.”
Your nose scrunched up in apparent disgust. “Your hair was touched by so many girls that I don’t want to.”
“Hey, we both had our fair share of people touching our hair,” Jaehyun said defensively as he backed his head. “Besides, I bet my hair is the softest hair out of anyone in our department.”
“No wonder all the girls keep touching your hair,” you said quietly before tackling your other bitter-tasting sub. “That girl Diane kept raving about it to her friends, and we all know that Diane has the softest hair.”
“Excuse me, my hair is way softer than hers,” Jaehyun said with his eyebrows furrowed and mouth frowning. “Besides, that’s just a rumor. Anyone’s hair is better than hers. Even your hair is softer than hers.”
Pushing your soda further away from you to make space for your elbows, you waved off his last statement. “Speaking of Diane, what happened to her? I thought you guys were gonna push through.”
“There was nothing to ‘push through’. I just wasn’t interested.”
You rolled your eyes. “You’ve been saying that for months.”
And he batted his eyes innocently. “Well no one has caught my eye for months.”
“You're telling me that you, Jung Jaehyun, master of getting girls, have finally stepped down your reign?”
Your unfamiliar friend simply shrugged. “I guess I want something serious.”
“Not with your tendency to quickly dismiss girls you won’t.”
Then he looked at you dead in the eye. “I’m looking for the right person.”
“And who would the ‘right person’ be like?”
The romantic spring wind softly blew past you, making you shudder, with your bare arms exposed. Jaehyun fixed his gaze on the sky, the wind brushing his hair in all the right places, and then on you. You stared at him in return, anticipating a serious answer.
“Someone with nice hair.”
There was no smiling, no laughing, no nothing. He was serious. But you didn’t even have the time to react to the honest comment because your eyes busily widened when they caught your friend’s who waved at you excitedly. At your troubled expression, Jaehyun turned around and sent a small wave towards the couple.
“Great, now they’re coming over,” you grumbled, watching the couple take their time approaching you and Jaehyun. “We could be talking about something funny or intellectual, but, no, we’re talking about stupid hair.”
“Okay, we both know that you’re not funny,” Jaehyun said openly.
You had the urge to slap him with the pickles you had, but the growing feeling of anxiety and nervousness overtook all of your thoughts. They’re coming, they’re coming, they’re coming. A warm pair of hands wrapped around yours, causing you to avert your pathetic gaze at your half-eaten sub to the brown eyes of your sarcastic-turned-caring friend.
“Calm down, won’t you? You won’t make a fool of yourself,” he said, trying to comfort you. “You’ve already done that today when you started snoring in class.”
That was deserving of a glare and the following: “You suck at this.” But before you could say anything else, a chirpy voice chimed, “Hey, guys!” And the butterflies broke loose. When your friend officially introduced you to Mark and vice versa, the rhythm of your heart grew faster and faster, but all you could do was muster a small, weak smile to the man who secretly made you smile to yourself in the back of your business classes whenever he would say something with a simple smile or made Jaehyun or another one of his friends laugh at one of his lame jokes. Your heart was fluttering, and there was nothing you could do but smile.
“Is something wrong?” your friend asked, concerned for you and your pale face.
“She’s just having a bad time digesting her food,” Jaehyun lied, rubbing the back of your hands with his thumbs.
You silently sent a glare his way.
“Yes, that’s the only explanation there is,” you said through your teeth and pulled your hands away from his.
“Oh, for a moment I thought you two were going out with the whole hand situation,” your friend said, laughing. “Well that’s too bad because Mark and I were wondering if you guys wanted to go eat at a new 60s-themed restaurant around the corner.”
Your stomach felt queasy as if it was tied up in knots. Even though you kept your gaze strictly on your friend, you couldn’t help but use your peripheral vision to take a sneak peek at the wonderful human being standing next to her. At that point, Mark had taken off his glasses and left them hanging on the collar of his green hoodie. You couldn’t believe how lucky your friend was to snatch away the younger boy you had your eyes on for way longer. If you could only go back in time...
“We’ll go.”
Those were the two words that got you to look at Jaehyun like he was crazy, earning you a not-so-innocent smile from him, and got the two of you sitting across the real couple at a nicely cushioned booth in a fast food diner on a Thursday night.
You were fiddling with the material of your shirt, not having once looked at Mark’s direction since the moment he stepped into the restaurant. There was no way you could look at him at all his glory when your friend was sitting right across from you, talking endlessly about some class you could care less about.
“And the professor actually made that a freebie since he totally..."
The rhythm of your heart slowly steadied, but your hands still felt clammy. Do I look okay? Do I seem boring? Do I look like I’m someone fun to talk to? No, you hadn’t even opened your mouth. You had been on double dates before with Jaehyun, of course with your date being someone else, and they were usually a blast. But with your longest crush sitting diagonally from you, casually munching on his fries, you were about to faint.
“Seriously, Margaret literally shot her bubble tea out of her nose..."
Is there something on my face? Did I not powder enough? Did I come too bare-faced? Do I at least look presentable enough? A strong but delicate pair of warm hands slipped into yours, stopping your train of thought. You cast your eyes upon your trustworthy friend and were immediately calmed down. He leaned near your face and whispered, “Don’t worry. You look beautiful tonight”, sending shivers down your spine. When he pulled away, he kept his eyes on you with the most caring, affectionate look he had ever had and caressed the back of your hands ever so gently, sending another wave of the tingling sensation.
The evening moonlight shone through the life-sized window and illuminated his perfectly proportioned face. A rush of warmth spread throughout your cold body, your heart slowly picking up its pace again. What was this surfacing feeling, this exciting and pleasant fondness? You were entranced by not only his beauty but also by his soft, passionate gaze. You couldn’t remember the last time anyone had looked at you that way, or the time he had ever looked at you with such warmth. He sent you a smile that matched his eyes before prying his eyes off of you, effectively beginning your silent desperate plea to have him have his eyes only on you but also effectively having the comfort and homeliness in your heart linger.
“Okay, I know your lover boy is next to you, but we’re right here.” Pulling you out of your trance, your friend sweetly smiled at your lost expression when your eyes landed on her. “I asked if you wanted an ice cream brownie sundae.”
With the image of Jaehyun still marked in your head, you mindlessly nodded. A light chuckle left the lips from an unexpected person. For the first time that night, you had your eyes on Mark.
“When did you guys first meet?” the younger boy asked with curiosity settling in his eyes.
The question had you startled. You hadn’t prepared for a question like that. Did you need to come up with some fake romantic story or not? You had no idea.
“Our professor had partnered us up,” Jaehyun spoke. “And she had my attention with her adorably weird mushroom t-shirt.” You heard your friend sigh in awe of the recount while you listened attentively. “After time had gone by, the feelings were platonic, but after going out with other girls and having her help me with them, I realized that no one knew me better or got my heart beating faster than she.”
Every single word had you anticipate the next. Every word that spilled out of his mouth sounded too good to be true, but they all sounded sincere. And the chance to meet the eyes of your steadfast friend came again. You heard your own heart beating. There it was, that longing gaze that drilled into your soul.
“But I didn’t think she had interest in me.”
His eyes darted back and forth, searching for a response--any response. You wanted to believe that he was speaking the truth, if those words were, in fact, his own feelings, because if he wasn’t, what you said next would have been very foolish of you.
“I did.”
The moonlight shone even more brightly and you didn’t have to look at Jaehyun to see it. The night whisked away with tales and laughter, your friend doing most of the talking. By the time everyone was ready to leave and Jaehyun and your friend were using the restroom, a newfound feeling of content sank in. Your new black-haired friend quietly drummed his fingers on the surface of the smooth marble counter, lightly bobbing his head to The Beach Boys playing in the stereo system. You admired his wonderful features and was reminded of his amazing personality. How someone could be as perfect as him yet still be a complete dork was unknown to you. And so were the feelings of strong yearning. They vanished into the starry night.
“‘Help Me, Rhonda’ is pretty good, isn’t it?”
At the sound of your voice, the younger boy casted his gaze upon you. A delighted smile appeared on his face as he said, “Now that would be an understatement.”
You laughed softly and joined him with his head-bobbing session, adding your feet by rhythmically tapping every second. When the other two came out, casually disrupting your quiet groove, you and Jaehyun naturally parted ways with the real couple. As the two of you headed for the beach to catch the last day of a firework event, the breeze carried on the tranquility of the night. Each step you took was light--you weren’t even reading into Jaehyun’s actions that night. You were simply content. Watching the brightly-colored fireworks crisply crackle, your hand bumping into Jaehyun’s every so now and then, you wished that feeling would last forever. When you pointed at your favorite pattern of fireworks and laid your arm to your side, instead of your knuckles bouncing off of Jaehyun’s, it was enveloped by the warmth of his hand. His eyes weren’t watching the fireworks anymore: they were concentrated on the serene waves of the glossy ocean. You stared at his impenetrable gaze.
“Did you,” he began to say, “did you really mean what you said back there? That you had an interest in me?”
He kept his gaze steadily on the waves. It was as if he didn’t want to see your reaction, yet was waiting for an answer. You squeezed his hand lightly.
“I did.”
The sound of the fireworks faded, taken over by the calm, chilly breeze. Jaehyun’s tender eyes met yours. Instead of being overwhelmed by the affectionate gaze, you returned it and with a smile. So there you two stood, staring at each other wordlessly with such attraction no one could deny. You watched Jaehyun’s eyes flicker down to your lips before retreating back to your eyes. Little by little, he inched closer to your face, no longer holding your gaze, but staring at your lips. And little by little, your heart picked up the pace, but you knew you had to break the elephant in the room, so you pressed your forehead against his and gave yourself a moment to say, “Jaehyun, we’re friends.”
And with your foreheads being the barriers to any other sort of skinship, he let out in a low, hushed voice, “Is that all we can ever be?”
He took your hands in his and swung them in small circles. Once the last bit of the fireworks ended, you called out his name so softly that it came out as a whisper, and you saw the sincerity and quiet desperation that filled his eyes. You slowly freed your fingers and let them under the purple strands of Jaehyun’s hair, smoothly combing through them. Then you let your hands linger onto his face, tracing his masculine features.
“You’re right,” you breathed out at last, locking your eyes with the patient man. “Your hair is the softest.”
The both of you broke into goofy grins, not long before you closed the gap of the space that was left in between.
...
The increasing chatter as you stepped out of your philosophy class and into the large hallway was fitting for the new semester, with the incoming freshmen buzzing with excitement and nervousness. It was at that moment when a pair of relatively large hands slipped into yours. You didn’t even have to spare a glance to see who it was--the sides of your lips instantly tugged upwards.
“Ready for that date?” a now tinted purple-haired guy announced.
A smirk found its way to your lips as you said, “Let’s go kick some ass.”
You and your four-month old boyfriend were on the way to a double date with Mark and your friend at the annual carnival downtown. The adorable couple laughed, had their hands all over each other, and whispered to each other, but your eyes were only glued to the man you loved, the man with the soft, fainted purple hair.
♡ 12:21 a.m. ♡ you’re unaware that jisung is currently staring at your figure, watching you intently as you frantically flip through the pages of your biology textbook, practically on the verge of mentally falling apart. only when you finally find the section you were looking for, you sigh, looking up and noticing your best friend’s eyes locked on you.
“w-what?” you can’t help but stutter, startled by his lovestruck eyes. he doesn’t do much to cover it up, only smiling softly at you in response. “don’t laugh at me, c’mon, i’m struggling here.”
“no,” he shakes his head along with his hands, chuckling softly along. “it’s just—you’re really cute.”
“i-i—i’m-what did you just say?! hey! where—don’t run away from me!!”
Summary: So you made a promise to yourself that you would get over your feelings for your sister’s husband. Except you can’t.
Note: This is part 2 of My Little Secret! If you haven’t read the first part, please check it out here. And if anyone wants to drop anything in the suggestion box, please do so. I’m open to any ideas, seriously, so don’t feel embarrassed--you can send it anonymously.
Nothing about that night felt right. Your dress was too tight. The curling iron was nowhere to be found. Half of the jewelry you owned were tangled. Worst of all, you were sweating bullets from walking back and forth from your room to your small office, rapping to your boss, who was also your friend, on the phone.
“What? I was never given that file,” you would repeat when your friend asked you to look something up.
It was only half past seven and all you wanted to do was to go back in time and take back your statement, “I’ll go.” It was stupid of you to agree to go to some charity event to meet a guy when you strongly despised social settings, which was odd because your work required you to socialize all the time.
With one of the most important business meetings ahead of you in a week’s time, Jia was freaking out over how disorganized everything was.
“Jesse,” she whined, calling out your name for the hundredth time in the last ten minutes. “I swear I gave you the file.”
“Maybe I left it at the office,” you said, rushing to slip on your heels. “I’ll be there as soon as the fundraising event is over.”
Once you made it out of the building, the cold breeze of the dark autumn night ran past you, and you instantly regretted not bringing out with you a light coat. You hissed under your breath as you made your way over to your car, which you parked across the street for some reason you couldn’t recall.
“I just had to park it at the farthest corner,” you murmured while your friend kept babbling on about some random dude on the street (and sometimes you wondered how Jia got the position of marketing manager with her tendency to chatter whenever she was anxious). “Hey, I need to get going, so call me when you need something else, okay?” you told your buzzing friend, hoping to free your mind of work for the next couple of hours.
The ride to your sister’s house was peaceful. The street lamps and office lights lit up the navy night sky and, subsequently, your mood. Every passing street had people strolling on the sidewalks, some with families, others with friends, and some alone. With your window rolled down, you listened to the sound of the wind and the delightful screams of children running around. But your peace ended quickly: before you knew it, you were standing in front of an all-too-familiar brown door, across the mowed lawn, with your fingers drumming lightly against your bare thighs.
“Please get me through this night” you whispered to an invisible force before the door flew open with a friendly face.
“Jesse!” your sister excitedly greeted, immediately welcoming you with a warm hug.
“Hi, Janet,” you said, trying to return her enthusiasm. “How’s the stomach pain?”
In a hushed tone, she replied, “Honestly, I’m just using that as an excuse not to call our nanny. I’ve got the feeling that she has her eyes on Jaehyun.”
“Oh, really?” you reacted weakly as you pulled away from her embrace. “That’s a shame.”
That did not at all throw your mind into chaos. Not at all. Your sister quickly changed the subject as she scanned you from head to toe and wiggled her eyebrows. “Well someone cleaned up nicely.”
You simply shrugged, letting yourself in the house. Everything was in the same place, still as boring as ever. The only new additions were the two humans who were approaching you with wide smiles.
“Jesse, long time no see,” Mark and Doyoung said with wide arms, to which you decided to hug both of them simultaneously.
The two black-haired beauties had known you since they moved in, which wasn’t a long time ago, but the three of you clicked. You loved music and had always fantasized about becoming a music producer when you were younger. Mark and Doyoung were living the dream, and you couldn’t wait for big things to happen for them.
While you were catching up with them, your nephew Jaehyung made his appearance out of the hallway with his adorable hands partially wrapped around his father’s, the man you secretly loved.
“Auntie!” your nephew shouted, willingly letting go of his father’s hand as he dashed towards you at full speed.
By instinct, you bent down to receive the speeding little boy who almost toppled you over.
“I’m starting to get the feeling that he loves her more than he loves us,” Mark said to Doyoung in a not-so-quiet manner.
“Well, I’m a blood relative,” you told your same-aged friend, lifting Jaehyung up from his feet and letting him join you and your sight of the world at your freakish height. “Isn’t that right, LJ?”
“Auntie is always right,” your nephew sweetly responded, to which Mark and Doyoung dramatically gasped.
“I don’t mean to break you two apart,” your crush spoke, “But we have to get going if we don’t want to be late.”
Thankfully, you were able to shoot a calm smile at Jaehyun, greeting him very briefly before handing the sweet little boy in your arms to his mother, all without making a fool of yourself. Jaehyun was absolutely gorgeous. With his slick-backed hair and dark blue suit that complemented his eyes, you could just run your fingers along his beautifully placed--
No, you couldn’t. You had to physically refrain yourself from acting out your fantasies by forcefully turning your back to him, and you lowly hummed to a pop song, hoping your amoral thoughts would wash away. However, the fact that the other two called the back seats, leaving you at the shotgun with Jaehyun by your side, forced you to swallow the rising guilt inching near your throat. To your luck, Jia had called you and whisked you into the world of your comfort zone, which was funnily what you were sick of: work.
...
“There is no way you actually got him to get back with his ex.”
You were just about to text back your secretary regarding something Jia requested to have when Mark pulled out the vacant seat next to you and said what he said.
“You actually got Jungwoo to leave the event to talk to her,” the dumbfounded boy said, shaking his head in disbelief.
That’s right. You somehow managed to encourage Jungwoo, the guy your sister and Jaehyun set you up with, to get back together with his ex-girlfriend. There was nothing wrong with Jungwoo; in fact, he was the perfect gentleman you would have dreamed of having in your younger years. He was stunning--physically, facially, and personality-wise. He was funny and considerate. He had a soft, melodious voice that you swore you heard on the radio. He even shared your weird preference of music. But there was one thing: he was the perfect gentleman, except he wasn’t Jaehyun. The amazing skills you had to convince someone, someone as fine as Jungwoo, to leave you for someone else astonished Mark.
“You must be a beast when you negotiate,” he murmured while you typed away on your phone.
“Believe me, I had no intentions of shooing him away,” you told him. “He just mentioned that he got out of a long-term relationship, so I asked him a few questions. I swear that’s all I did.”
Your same-aged friend snorted. “Yeah, yeah.” When you continued to text your secretary, he added, “You should really get off your phone and interact with others.”
You simply hummed and Mark, in response, swiftly snatched your phone and tucked it away, far from your tech-deprived hands.
“What do you think you’re doing?” you questioned your smirking friend, your eyebrows deeply furrowed.
“Getting you to mingle.”
“You’re gonna get me fired,” you huffed frustratedly.
“Mark almost got me fired,” you heard your other mischievous friend say. “It was one of the worst days of my life.”
“I should get ready for that anytime soon then,” you said, rolling your eyes.
“Get ready for what?” another familiar voice spoke.
The apple of your eye joined the table, sitting across your seat. Suddenly, the table seemed longer than it was, stretching for miles and miles. You quietly let out a sigh and decided to look around your surroundings, eyes gliding over the mass of people conversing. In the midst of your scanning process, Doyoung and Mark abandoned their seats to get more drinks. Without you noticing, Jaehyun managed to scoot down to you, stealing Mark’s seat.
“Is there anyone here who catches your eye?”
Startled at the proximity of his voice and suddenly uncomfortable, you began tapping your feet to the rhythm of the background chatter. You didn’t dare look at him in the eye; you didn’t want to face his genuine curiosity--it would destroy you. Instead, you picked up your glass of wine ever so slightly, swirled it around, and answered with a plain “no”.
“I’m sorry that you and Jungwoo didn’t work out,” Jaehyun said with pity filling his voice.
“Well,” you began in an effort to keep the conversation rolling instead of childishly letting your emo-side take over, “I’m 30, and I seem to be wedded to my work. I’ll be alright.”
“Work does seem to like you a lot,” the beautiful man joked. “But you don’t seem to hate it.”
You offered a small smile. “I’m over it with people constantly calling me, but, yeah, I don’t hate it.”
When a moment of silence passed, you deemed it fitting to finally take a sip from your drink. But it was then when Jaehyun thought it was appropriate to say, “Janet seems to think that you’re a work-a-holic.” Now that was a label you had never thought applied to you. A work-a-holic? You? Impossible. What was wrong with simply liking to bow down to fear?
“I guess I need to fill up that loneliness,” you said lightly, setting your glass down. “Gotta have something, you know?”
Jaehyun dismissed your half-hearted comment. “You do know that she’s concerned out of love.”
You simply nodded and added, “Gotta love her too,” earning you a knowing look. “Okay, being my brother-in-law doesn’t mean you get to scold me too.”
A low feeling of heartache stirred in you as the conversation carried out. If this basic conversation about your life had you killing inside, how could you face three weeks worth of the same thing with him in two weeks time? Answer: you couldn’t.
“You know, if you keep working like that, you won’t have time to date.”
“I’ll just date my work then,” you replied sarcastically. “No one needs a human significant other to fulfill their satisfaction.”
For once, you looked at Jaehyun straight into his eyes. Those deep brown orbs of his spoke of genuine curiosity. You were right: they destroyed you. You forced yourself to avert your gaze back to the crowd before you.
“Come on, why don’t you give yourself a break?” he asked, leaning closer to you due to the sudden increase in background noise.
His natural honey-scented self was overpowered by the soft lavender-scented perfume you saw Jia spray on him earlier. It was the perfume you had gotten them for their four-year wedding anniversary, with the card, “Don’t worry: it’s gender-neutral.”
“Okay, I really don’t want my brother-in-law giving me advice about my love life,” you grimaced bitterly while trying not to breathe through your nose. “It’s weird.”
“Then take it as a friend.”
A new wave of the aromatic scent reached your nose as you sharply inhaled at the words that left Jaehyun’s lips. Friends? Friends? Since when were you and Jaehyun friends? Sure, you guys talked, but it was only because of his relationship with your sister. If you hadn’t met him through your sister, you were sure that you wouldn’t have had the guts to approach him yourself. Being friends with your brother-in-law was not something you had in mind, not especially since you were in love with him--not that you were planning on making a move on him. In fact, you wanted to do nothing with him.
But if you were friends, then wouldn’t that be the first step to getting over him?
Thankfully, a fellow co-worker of Jaehyun’s saved you from your train of thought, informing Jaehyun that their boss was looking for him. Before he could leave, though, Jaehyun patted your shoulders and sent you a comforting smile. You watched him go farther away from you as he interacted with his boss whose face instantly brightened. Smooth talker. Sociable. Look at me, sitting and moping as if there’s no tomorrow, you thought bitterly, tasting your wine for the first time.
And that was how you spent the night--sitting by yourself, worrying your phone would be broken from the number of calls Jia would have made, and watching the man you loved mingle with others like the loveable man he was. You were officially pathetic.
When the time came to leave, you were more than ready to sprint out the doors and claim freedom. Instead, your boss called and the cold wind slapped your face.
“Jia, I got the file,” you said to your friend, pushing your company’s tall glass doors open and waving the thick file in your hands even though she couldn’t see you. “Yeah, I told Sophie to leave it at my desk. Don’t worry, I’ve got things covered, alright?”
Before Jia could say anything else, you stepped onto the pavement when you heard someone call out your name. Once you saw who it was, you greeted that person with a bright smile. That man could liven up your day with his mere presence.
“Johnny!” you exclaimed, reciprocating the tall man’s lively tone. As you initiated a hug, you asked him, “You’ve been here the whole time?”
“Yeah, my boss pulled me back,” Johnny said grimly. “What’s with the file?”
“Oh, this? It’s just something Jia was freaking out about.”
Your considerate co-worker sent you a sympathetic smile. “Couldn’t get Sophie to get it to your place, huh?”
To that, you shrugged and said, “It’s not that bad. It’s just weird having people peeking into my house.”
Talking to Johnny was like meeting your long time friend. He was a breath of fresh air, asking you about things that had nothing to do with your love life. You admired the way he could easily change topics without seeming too sudden and appreciated his quick wit. Unfortunately, the fruitful conversation didn’t last long, and you two parted ways, Johnny taking a cab while you jogged across the street to reach Jaehyun’s black, family-friendly SUV.
“Hey, who was that?” Doyoung said suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows in a manner you thought was silly.
“A coworker,” you replied emotionlessly, hoping Jia would stop texting you.
“He was checking you out,” Mark blatantly remarked.
You stopped typing momentarily and shot a glance at his direction. You meant to give him a menacing glare, but you were caught off guard by Jaehyun’s arm resting behind your headrest. You cleared your throat once you realized that he was backing up the car from the parking lot.
“He’s just a friendly person.”
Sick of Jia’s constant demands--you still loved her--and the horrible night full of pain, you rested your elbow comfortably against the window and rubbed your temple. You were not going to be able to sleep that night with that splitting headache, especially with Mark and Doyoung teasing you.
“Come on guys, give her some privacy with her love life,” Jaehyun defended you as he removed his arm from your seat. “I think she’s had enough tonight.”
You offered Jaehyun a weak but warm smile. “Thank you.”
He, in return, gave a cheeky one. “Hey, do you know the song that goes, ‘Jesse and Johnny sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-’”
“-I-N-G!” - Doyoung Mark chimed enthusiastically.
Sinking into your seat, you grumbled, “I’m really babysitting four children next month, aren’t I?”
And the way back to the house of torture was filled with laughter and childish rhymes while all you wished to do was jump out of the car and end your misery. Oh, but you had no idea that the three weeks that awaited you made that night seem like nothing in comparison. Nothing you could do would prepare you for hell.
Summary: Your older sister Janet and you have been close since the moment you were born, according to your parents. Even after you had your fair share of clashes like all siblings, you loved each other and wouldn’t wish for any better. Just one problem: you were a terrible sister with a terrible little secret.
Note: I’m back! I hope this makes up for my long absence, but the new school year has been killing me. I would like to think that I will update soon, but it seems like that will be impossible. I will try to update whenever I can.
“Excitement” wasn’t the first word that popped in your mind when your sister called you. No, it was the last word you could think of. The nervous tone that occupied her voice when she invited you over to her house messed with your mind. Normally, you would have dreaded visiting her, but that tone had you considering to move to another country. You loved her and was lucky to have a thoughtful, understanding sister like her. In fact, you were too lucky to the extent that you felt guilty for not being able to be more to her like she was to you. But more than that, you were guilty of falling in love with her lifetime partner. And you couldn’t fall out.
Before you knew it, the clock struck five and you were already making your way across your sister’s lawn. Once you rang the doorbell, your fingers anxiously drummed against the skin of your protected legs.
“Oh, God,” you murmured as you felt your heart thumping louder and louder, mimicking the intensity of the nearing footsteps. “Please let it be good news.”
The warm evening breeze met your face as the front door swung open by none other than your sister’s husband and the love of your life Jung Jaehyun.
“Hey,” the beauty greeted with a warm smile, his dimples now visible. “Glad you could make it.”
You took a whiff of his honey-like scent as you hugged him, a hug that he initiated and broke. “Well the news sounded important.” You took a moment to note the black-haired man’s uneasy eyes before you continued, “Can I trust that it’s good news?”
Jaehyun simply gestured you inside and said, “I hope it is.”
The house was as boring as it always was: homey and clean. The only new embellishment was the carpet that Mark and Doyoung, Jaehyun’s friends and now housemates, ordered for the dining room. The walls were still plain but not naked. There was no evidence of food in the kitchen. The living room was spotless. It was suffocating.
“So where’s the missus?” You asked, scanning the crazily clean house with your busy eyes.
A light chuckle left Jaehyun’s lips and you immediately regretted accepting the invitation. Yes, you were that in love with Jaehyun. You were hopeless. You fell in love with him the moment your sister introduced him to you as her boyfriend in your junior year of college, and every living moment with him was sickening because you were reminded that you were in love with your sister’s boyfriend-turned-husband. That went on for you for five years. After five years of living in absolute chaos, you were halfway into your twenties, a time of learning and growth. Unfortunately for you, there was no learning anything other than the fact that your heart was set on one person and that you were a horrible person.
“She’ll be here soon,” the golden man replied.
Even though there was a considerable distance between you and him, you could smell his strong natural honey scent, and it bothered you greatly.
“Picking up Little Jae, isn’t she?” You said, turning your back to the man, whose eyes grew slightly troubled, to scan the pictures that laid proudly in an organized fashion underneath the floating living room television.
Jaehyung, whom you called Little Jae, was the joy of your sister and Jaehyun and was another source of misery for you. He had his father’s brown eyes in the shape of his mother’s double-lidded, doe-like eyes. His hair was curly, which you had no idea who he inherited that feature from, resembling the curviness of fresh lettuce. Without a doubt you swooned over your adorable nephew, but he was just another reminder that your sister and the love of your life were really starting to have a little family of their own. And you were entering your thirties, miserable and broken and rejecting every single one of the happy family’s frequent invites to dinner.
“Sorry,” you would tell them. “Maybe next time.”
There was no “next time”. Not even once. The guilt sank in the first time you lied, but you had gotten used to it. Still, you were never relieved of it.
“Hey, maybe you can stay over for dinner,” Jaehyun spoke as your eyes jumped back and forth from the unchanging, jolly family pictures. “I’m sure that Jaehyung would love having his aunt stay longer.”
A little needle pricked the side of your heart, provoking you to spill your darkest secret. At once, an unsettling thought seeped into your mind: Jaehyun suspected that you were intentionally staying away from Jaehyung, but you were certain that the reasons were unknown to him. Or at least you hoped.
“You know I love him, but I can’t stay to eat,” you said, lying through your teeth. “I’m leaving on a business trip tomorrow. My boss wants me to look over a couple of files before we leave.”
You did have a business trip. It just wasn’t until the following week, so you were technically partially telling the full story. The depressing photos somehow helped the lies formulate in your mind quicker. Each photo followed the story of Jaehyung’s life, from when he was born up until his third birthday party. It was a way for his parents to “look back at the photos and see just how big he’s grown”, according to your sister. Reliving the moment she told you that over the phone made your stomach churn.
“Have you guys chosen which photo to frame from LJ’s fourth birthday party?” you said, the words flowing out of you like water, shaking off Jaehyun’s suspicion. “I personally liked the one with the clown in the back. Everyone loves clowns.”
Harmonious melody filled the room, closer to you than you realized and to which you stepped a few steps to the left.
“You hate clowns,” Jaehyun exclaimed.
“No, I’ve grown fond of them,” you corrected, not daring to spare a glance at the dazzling beauty. “They’re not at all creepy.”
Evidently, you were able to hide your feelings even when you were alone with Jaehyun. So what was the problem? You could hide your feelings forever and no one would know.
The music of the keypad reached your ears, giving you time to mentally prepare yourself for the worst part about getting together with your sister and Jaehyun.
“Auntie!” left the voice of a squealing little boy.
“LJ!” you exclaimed, your voice mirroring that of the little boy.
No, engulfing your adorable nephew in a soul-crushing hug wasn’t the worst part. It was the sight of your sister and your crush exchanging a short but warm kiss, their arms wrapped around each other’s torso. You wanted to bolt out of the room.
As you pulled away from Jaehyung, he looked at you with big, sparkling eyes.
“Is auntie having a sleepover?” he asked.
A slithering, intense sensation, otherwise known as guilt, settled in your stomach.
“I’m sorry, little one,” you answered as your hands found their way to his soft, chubby cheeks. “I have work to do.”
The sparkle in his eyes slowly withered and his lower lip jutted out. “Auntie always has work.”
You couldn’t lie: that stung. You didn’t think he would care, but he noticed your unimportant absence from his life the past couple of months. Apparently, you weren’t as invisible as you thought you were to him.
To fill in the silence that overpowered you, your sister pitched, “It’s because Auntie’s very important to the company.”
A small smile rested on your face. It had been too long since you last stepped into your sister’s house. Before you stood up to greet your sister, you promised Jaehyung that you would stay for longer the next time you visited. With that simple remark, the excitement in his eyes reappeared. As he left to wash his hands, your sister practically jumped on you, squeezing your waist tightly.
“I’m so glad that you could make it,” she said, crushing the life out of you.
But you sensed the tension in her voice. “What’s the thing you have to ask me in person?”
Your sister immediately released her hold of you and offered a nervous smile.
“Want to get to that now, huh?”
With a small nod in response from you, your sister motioned you over to the living room area. It wasn’t one second into silence once you were all seated and you could already feel the tension heightening. Leaning back into the couch, you let your eyes wander to Jaehyun’s hands reaching out to your sister’s, to which you quickly averted your eyes to your sister’s, fearing that one slip would give you away.
“So what’s up?” you asked less cheerily than you wanted.
You watched your sister glance at her husband before her eyes landed on yours. She was sitting a few feet away from you, but her eyes radiated with such anxiety that you felt obligated to send an encouraging nod.
“Come on, it can’t be that bad,” you said, the words secretly meant for you more than for the couple.
Once she cleared her throat, your sister started, “You see, I’m leaving on a business trip for a month. I’m gonna be out for a couple of weeks, so I want you to do me a favor.” After a short pause and briefly examining any change of emotion in you, she continued, “I want you to look after Jaehyung.”
A questionable expression immediately appeared all over your face as you leaned forward, wondering if you heard the right thing.
“What?”
Jaehyun’s melodious voice filled your ears, drowning the sound of Jaehyung’s loud stomping in the background. “We figured Mark and Doyoung could help take care of Jaehyung, but you know their schedules are unpredictable.”
A small, nervous smile appeared on your sister’s beautiful face. “What do you say?”
Forcing yourself to pry your eyes from hers, you hoped to ward off the burdensome guilt that silently crept up on your shoulders. To your luck, your eyes landed on Jaehyung. He was playing happily with his toy truck, driving it back and forth with his mini hands.
“Jaehyung’s really excited to spend a few weeks with his favorite aunt,” your sister tried to appeal.
“I’m his only aunt,” you plainly replied, shaking your head. Mustering the courage to direct your gaze at Jaehyun, you asked, “And what will Jaehyun be doing?”
“It’ll be the first time Janet will be leaving me with our child,” the golden boy explained. “I would feel a lot better and safer if I had someone help me.”
That hit home. The growing guilt in your heart clouded your thoughts. You couldn’t dare say yes in fear that you would only do it for the wrong reason, to spend time with Jaehyun which was ironically the reason why you avoided meeting the happy family in the first place.
“So I’ll be babysitting two babies.”
At that, your sister’s face brightened. “You’re not immediately rejecting it.”
Meanwhile, at the irresistible call of his name, Jaehyun left his spot next to your sister to fulfill his son’s desire to play airplane.
You took that chance to relax and calmly tell your sister, “You know I love Jaehyung.”
“But?”
“You’re asking me to do something that I can’t do,” you revealed.
A sudden gloom took over your sister’s face very noticeably. “Why can’t you do it?”
You tried to reason with her in the most convincing tone you could. “You know that I’ll be swamped with work. I can’t possibly help look after Jaehyung when I have my own agenda to carry out.”
The room hushed, the sounds of Jaehyung’s laughter far off in the distance.
“Why do you always reject opportunities to hang out with Jaehyung?”
And time stood still. You swore you felt your heart stop beating for a second.
Wracking your brain for excuses, you quickly spat out, “Janet, you know the work I do demands a lot of my time.”
The look on your sister’s face made you sick to your stomach. You were the worst aunt and sister to exist. Okay, you weren’t the worst aunt and sister in the history of the worst aunts and sisters, but you were horrible in comparison to your upbeat, supportive parents, sister, and relatives. In your family, you were the epitome of inadequacy, and it slapped you in the face, written in big, bold words on your forehead, when you witnessed the look of despair in your sister’s expression. The strings of your heart tugged.
“Janet,” you called out softly.
“Did I do something wrong?” she asked quietly, avoiding your gaze.
Sometimes, you couldn’t believe that she was older than you. She was never a strong-headed older sister. She was more of the gentle and calm type, which complemented her inherent happy- spirited nature, which was why you were known to be the firm one of the both of you. But she always managed to bring out the little, soft, immature child trapped inside of you.
“Janet, you did nothing wrong,” you exclaimed. “Don’t let this situation have that thought ever sneak into your mind like that again.”
“Then why don’t you accept our invitations?”
The lying thread you held on to slightly slipped from your grasp. Slightly. With a heavy heart, you cautiously told her this:
“I’m single.”
You simply confessed that you were reminded of your singleness. That, you being single, you were. However, you were more shallow than that, but she didn’t need to know that. Especially not after when the life in your sister’s eyes came back, lit brighter than before.
“How about we set you up on a date?”
Of course, that was the moment your golden boy conveniently decided to return with his son’s hands soundly wrapped inside of his.
“A date?” the father echoed, occupying the empty seat he left, with Jaehyung seated on his lap.
“She’s been feeling lonely,” your sister explained vaguely.
A deep frown rested on your face. “Hey, don’t make me sound desperate.”
Jaehyung squirmed his way out of his father’s lap and hopped over to yours, melting your heart yet weighing you down.
“Actually, there’s this fundraising event our company’s hosting,” Jaehyun said, looking at you with the softest, encouraging eyes you had ever seen. “I could introduce you to someone there.”
Of course, there was no spark. After all, you weren’t his girl. He belonged to the girl who shouted, “Honey, that would be great!”
You didn’t want to be with anyone. You wanted to be with you-know-who, but the one guy you so badly were in love with was taken. In fact, you loved him so much that if you couldn’t have him, you wanted to leave the world as your single self.
You zoned out from the side conversation your sister and Jaehyun were having, not really listening to your sister bombard her husband with questions about the eligible co-workers. Jaehyung played with the fabric of your jeans, scratching his nails against them back and forth. You took a deep breath in to calm your mind, but you instead smelled the rubbed scent of honey from Jaehyung’s hair. Before you knew it, your hands were delicately brushing through the soft curls. You listened to Jaehyung happily hum to a familiar tune. It was the song you used to sing to him before you started rejecting the dinner invitations. An overwhelming wave of nostalgia swept over you. The red thread began to become even looser.
Right then and there, it became clear to you: you loved your sister and Jaehyung, but you had to move on from your forbidden love. It wasn’t fair for them, the sweetest people you knew, to have a liar in their lives. The least you could do to start moving on was to go to that one event.
“Alright,” you sighed defeatedly. “I’ll go.”
The tension in the room that was present the moment you arrived vanished.
“And you’ll take care of Jaehyung?” your sister asked with expectant eyes.
“I’ll take care of Jaehyung.”
A sudden squeal escaped from your sister’s innocent mouth as she rushed over to you, attacking you with a hug and leaving Jaehyung with no choice but to return to his father before he could be crushed. You let your sister embrace you, swaying your bodies side to side, and inhaled her citrus perfume. Everything was gonna be fine, you told yourself. Everything was ought to be fine.
“Do you want to stay over for dinner at least?” your sister asked, pulling away from the warm embrace. “I have ingredients for pasta.”
Torture found itself on your lips as you said, “I have a business trip to prepare for tomorrow.”
When the time came, you hugged everyone goodbye--even Jaehyun. It was without a doubt hurting you, but you knew that it was the first step: if you wanted to move on, you had to accept Jaehyun’s presence without calculating possible slips. Before they could see you out, Jaehyung had already caused trouble by spilling tomato sauce all over the kitchen floor. You smiled at the couple insistently and shooed them away, telling them that you would go on ahead, but before you closed the door, you couldn’t help but look back at the small family. They were laughing off Jaehyung’s mistake, wiping the sauce over each other’s face. Jaehyung shrieked when your sister began tickling his tummy while Jaehyun attacked his neck. And you shut the door quietly behind you.
Summary: After returning to Korea to work for one of the biggest entertainment companies, SM Entertainment, memories of your life in your home country before you left for university flood your mind. Swallowing the past behind you, you decide to be professional and face the people you haven’t seen in a while--including the boy whose name you dared not think of for the past five years.
Note: What was originally supposed to be a oneshot turned into a two-part series. I’m so glad that a lot of you enjoyed the first one and reached out to me to request a second part, so here it is! Oh, and if you haven’t read the first part, go read it here.
Under the light the street lamp posts provided him, the youthful boy ran towards the run-down store under the bridge. He didn’t know why he was heading for the closed store, but his legs had a mind of their own. He ran and ran until he heard a voice.
“Jaehyun!” it called.
Suddenly, his legs weren’t mindlessly running on their own. It was as if the sweet voice that called his name controlled his legs because he found himself slowing down, looking around his bleak surroundings. The store was old and the bridge seemed ancient with vines traveling down it. The ground was concrete, but it had a few cracks. This seemingly desolate place had no meaning to Jaehyun, yet there he was, searching for the owner of the voice that called his name.
“Jaehyun!” it said again.
Before he could take another second to turn around, a pair of hands, rather slim and somewhat fragile, covered his eyes, blocking his vision. An unknowing smile appeared on his face while his hands, trembling with happiness, reached out to touch the soft hands.
“Guess who?” it spoke with great excitement.
Hearing the familiar voice up close, a brighter smile tugged his lips upward. As the owner of the faceless voice, which belonged to a girl, gently removed her hands from his face, she finally revealed herself. With one of her hands holding onto his right wrist, the girl appeared in Jaehyun’s view, the wind blowing past her face, causing her hair to cover half of her face. She smiled at him endearingly, and the sound of her laughter carried along the cold wind. She led him closer and closer to the store, but they never reached it. Jaehyun, however, got a clearer view of the sign on the store and when he did, the girl’s smile wasn’t a bright smile anymore. It was bittersweet. “Pain” were the letters written out on the sign in red ink.
“It’s a pain spending time with you,” the boy heard his voice echo, but it didn’t come out of his mouth. Somewhere in the mystifying darkness, behind the legs of the bridge, the voice boomed, “It’s a pain.” In an instant, the floor rumbled and the bridge above his head began crumbling into pieces. “It’s a pain,” the voice repeated, causing more and more disruption. The girl, unlike him, stood still and watched his frightened face, continuing to smile the same way she was.
“Y/N,” escaped the awoken boy, drenched in sweat. With wide eyes, he frantically scanned his setting, searching for the girl in his dream--nightmare, rather. When he realized that he was in his room, which he shared with fellow groupmate Jungwoo, his eyes contracted and his breathing slowly stabled. Uttering a breath of relief, Jaehyun checked the time on his phone, and his eyes quickly dilated again as soon as he saw that it was two in the morning. He groaned and tried to fall back asleep, but no matter how many times he twisted and turned, he was wide awake.
And it was all because of a girl he hadn’t seen in five years.
...
For you, summer was the worst season of all: the sun stared into your soul until you broke down in slimy sweat; in the afternoon, the sun blew hot air against your body, causing your clothes to absorb the revolting sweat; at night, even when the sun set, it managed to influence the moon to blow steamy air at your face. For those reasons, you liked mornings the best. You didn’t care if it was hot then because you rarely left the house in the morning anyway. You got to sleep in late with blinds shielding you from the sunlight. You got to wake up late and peacefully watch the shadows of the tall trees outside dance to their normal routine, swinging back and forth behind the blinds. It was wonderful, really. Of course, you realized that wonderful things were momentary because after getting a job at your older sister’s company, you had to wake up at half past six in the morning and be at your cubicle by eight. However, it didn’t matter that you had to deal with the awful mornings outside of the mini apartment you shared with your sister; you were on a plane to Korea.
It had been five years since you were in your home country. After getting your bachelor’s degree in Communications and Psychology earlier than your peers, you studied furiously to the point you felt dead instead to obtain your master’s degree in Psychology in a year. Fortunately, you got a paid internship at your sister’s company, a therapy-based workplace, until your sister recommended you for an open job position in Korea. More specifically, SM Entertainment was looking for a full-time, SM-focused therapist. It was funny how things worked out, but you couldn’t pass on the amazing opportunity. As an employed therapist, you would be helping the company’s artists become healthier in a psychological aspect.
To Korea, accompanying you was your college friend Bora and her two-year old daughter Eunkyung. Eunkyung was the most adorable toddler you had come across, given you didn’t encounter many kids in your life. Like her mom, she was a jokester, and she loved tugging your hair whenever she could. It became a bad habit. A really bad one.
You were on the plane, sitting at the window seat, while Eunkyung was situated in the middle (thankfully because it was a vacant seat) and Bora in the aisle. Eunkyung started pulling your long hair towards her body, giggling, but she soon retracted her hand when her mom scolded her.
“She didn’t get any sleep last night,” Bora lectured gently. “The last thing we want is to wake her up.”
“Why?” Eunkyung asked innocently, tilting her head upwards at her mom.
“Why can’t we wake her up? Your poor auntie was up trying to find us someone who would let us stay at their house, and once we land, she has to go straight to work.”
Yes, you were a poor thing, but you were a poor lucky thing because after five short years of dedication to studying, you landed on this golden opportunity. That’s why when you woke up at the shaking plane, ready to land, instead of getting cranky and groaning like you would have normally done, you gratefully closed your eyes again and enjoyed the last few minutes of laziness.
In a blink of an eye, you were somehow seated in the shotgun of your friend’s van, heading to your new workplace.
“You wouldn’t believe the look on Y/N’s face when her mom told her she couldn’t stay at their place,” Bora spoke, sitting in the back seat with Eunkyung on her lap.
“Y/N? Getting mad? I would like to see that,” your friend Hyunwoo said jokingly.
“Thanks for letting us stay over the last minute,” you said, brushing off his comment. “My mom’s not usually the type to back out like this, but she apparently had a big fight with my dad, and the tension won’t serve any good to Eunkyung.”
Hyunwoo simply shrugged. “I’m glad to have the company. Ever since my roommate moved out, I’ve been feeling kind of lonely.”
As he gradually stopped the car at a red light, you took the moment to look out the window on your right, and you immediately spotted a dome-looking venue. It was flocked with decorations, mostly banners of people’s faces you couldn’t make out, but when the car pulled forward, the wind blew past the banners, straightening them out in a certain way. The only thing you got the chance to see was the bottom part of the nearest banner that read “NCT 127”.
An unsettling feeling sat in your stomach. It was weird. You heard about NCT 127 from your friends back in college, but it was weird to see their faces plastered on banners in your home country.
You ignored the lump in your throat as you set your eyes on the road.
...
Six months passed, and you loved your job. With the exception of a certain friend, you met practically everyone from the company. It was certainly an exciting job to talk to celebrities, so every so often you had to remind yourself that they were humans too to calm your beating heart. You also had a routine down. Every morning, you would leave Hyunwoo’s place on an empty stomach, but you would be greeted by the sweet pastries fresh from the oven of the first floor cafe in the building. Every afternoon, you would stay in your office like a loner and eat chips for lunch. Every evening, you would enjoy the view of the falling sun from your desk. It wasn’t until the last night of June that your routine was disrupted.
Your last session that night ended at ten, and you were more than ready to go home. Well, that was until you heard a knock on your door. That knock gave you the impression that you would be there longer than you wanted.
As you struggled to switch from your heels to sneakers behind your desk, you yelled, “Come in.”
Just as you managed to slide the heels of your feet into your cushioned sneakers, the door swung open. You rose from the ground, pushing your uselessly uncomfortable heels under your desk with your toes, and when you looked to see who was at the door, your breath hitched.
It was him, your former best friend, the guy who pushed you away. He was soaked from the summer rain and had bloodshot eyes. His hair was a mess, and it appeared to you that he was out of breath because his chest rapidly rose up and down. It was the first time you had seen him in five years, and that was how he presented himself to you, unannounced.
“Jaehyun, what...?”
You found your feet taking you to Jaehyun step by step. Your eyes studied his, worry evident in yours. You wanted to comfort him, to hug him as hard as you could for all the years you couldn’t, but something inside of you screamed at you to stop. There weren’t any cameras installed in your office. In fact, your office was one of the rare areas in the building that didn’t have CCTVs for the sake of privacy and efficacy of your delicate work, but you couldn’t bring yourself to fling your arms around on the drenched boy. You couldn’t... but he did: as soon as you were a few feet away from him, he suddenly advanced towards you and engulfed you in a tight hug.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice unbelievably shaking. “I’ve missed you.”
At those simple words, an overwhelming wave of emotions washed over you. Despite the coldness provided by his wet clothes, your heart felt warm. After five years of nothing, no voice nor touch, he had finally reached out to you, and that was all you needed.
“I was a jerk and an idiot,” he said, tightening his grip around your waist. “I shouldn’t have pushed you away, but I did.”
His body was trembling while yours was stable. Your hands were by your sides, but you slowly raised them, secured them around his body, and patted his back the way he used to do to yours whenever you were uncontrollably sobbing after a sad movie. To your surprise, it seemed as though your actions caused the opposite effect because another wave of tears stained your back.
“Shh,” you said, rubbing your hands on his back in circular motions.
He buried his wet face in your neck and choked out, “I’m sorry.”
“I heard you,” you whispered, slightly rocking him back and forth.
After what seemed like a short minute (when in reality it was five), Jaehyun finally loosened his grip, and you pulled away, gripping the side of his arms. The two of you stared off into each other’s eyes and let the silence overtake the room. His eyes were full of sorrow and regret, and all that clouded your mind was how tired and worn out he looked. You were the first to offer a smile.
“You should go back to your dorm and dry off,” you told him in a soft voice. “Otherwise, you’re gonna catch a cold.”
With droplets of water dripping from the tips of his tousled hair, he shook his head.
“I need to tell you why I did what I did.”
Your smile faltered noticeably, your stomach twisting into knots. You were beyond nervous to hear his reason for pushing you away. Were you really annoying? Did his friends secretly think you were annoying? Whatever it was, Jaehyun had no hint of tenseness nor anxiety; he was ready to tell you.
“I had a crush on you.”
There and then, the world stopped: your analog clock stopped ticking; your phone, which was on silent mode, stopped ringing; the whispering drops of the rain outside stopped talking. To you, the only sound that was loud and clear was your rapidly beating heart.
“When you came over for Chuseok dinner, when you told my parents that we were like twins, I-” Jaehyun stopped in mid-sentence, biting his lower lip in embarrassment, but you patiently waited for him. “I was frustrated at how you thought of me as a brother and a platonic friend rather than something more..” Before he continued, he rested his hands on your shoulders and stared dead straight into your eyes. “When I said it was a pain spending time with you, I meant that it was painful for me to contain my feelings around you because you didn’t look at me in the same way. I’m sorry that I lashed out. ”
You let your hands hang onto his elbows as you barely audibly said, “Thanks for telling me.”
The intense, yet soft look in Jaehyun’s eyes was the same gaze he gave you the day he yelled at you. It was then, you realized, that he was still in pain.
“What is it?” you asked, your curious eyes searching his for clues.
The now anxious boy let out a shaky breath, his eyes leaving yours. You took your hands and lifted his chin slightly upward, forcing his eyes to land back on yours.
“You can tell me,” you encouraged.
And before you knew it, Jaehyun was blurting out the words “I’m still in love with you”.
.
.
.
That was the quietness that filled the room. That was also the blank state your mind was in. You didn’t know what to think. You loved him, yes, but you loved him platonically. How could he, your childhood friend, still be in love with you after all those years? You couldn’t take your eyes off of the loving but painful expression in his eyes.
For the first time in a long time, Jaehyun let out a chuckle, earning him a confused stare.
“I know how you feel about me, and unlike my former self, I’m okay with it.” After a moment of silence, a gentle smile grew on his lips. ”I’ll wait for you.”
Cue the waterworks and the hug. This time, it was Jaehyun rubbing your back.
“I’m not gonna go anywhere,” he said quite confidently. “So when you’re ready--whether it be rejection or welcome--I’ll be here.”
“Except when you go on tour and stuff,” you murmured, to which the both of you laughed.
Fortunately for you, Jaehyun did wait. When you confessed your feelings to him, a year had already gone by since he promised he would wait. To him, your best friend and now lover, you were worth the wait.
Additional Announcement: Thanks for waiting to read this second part! I hope that it was “worth the wait”. Anyway, this may be the only post for the month of August due to SAT season. I will make no promises to make an update this month, so please hang in there! And for any of you taking the August SAT too, good luck! If you aren’t taking it, please send your thoughts and prayers to those who are. We really need all the hope we can get.
Let’s face it: not all of your childhood friends stay as your friends. You were too idealistic to acknowledge this fact, but you eventually tired out and gave in. All of your friends were his friends, after all. You had to move on. It was easy for him to move on, so you couldn’t be the only one hanging on to the lingering past, the fading memories. For what reason did you have hope that you could become close again? You were only friends. It wasn’t like he was your only friend...
You knew he was going through a weird phase. He had just passed another round of assessments, dictating whether or not he would go on one step further to debut among the other numerous trainees. It was the nth evaluation and you could tell he was getting tired. As his childhood friend, you thought that you could cheer him on and be that friend he could rely on--you couldn’t be more wrong.
Along with struggling with the assessments, Jaehyun was having a tough time dealing with his break-up with his long-term girlfriend. She was his first love, and even though he would always claim that he wouldn’t date until his twenties, meeting her changed his mind. He was even able to date her secretly after getting casted as a trainee into SM Entertainment. Unfortunately, when his training sessions started to get more intense, their time with each other withered. Afraid that his first love story would end up in ruins, he made an effort to ease the process by seeing her whenever he could--that included missing your everyday hangouts after practice--before ending their relationship on a positive note. Still, it was a lie if he said that he wasn’t heartbroken. Understanding that he needed some space, you were there for him by not physically being with him. Slowly, he recovered from his first relationship, but with that, he slowly distanced himself from you.
One day, you were at his house, conversing with his parents who, despite their busy schedule, managed to leave work early on the day of Chuseok. With your parents out of town, his parents gladly invited you to eat dinner with them; you were like the daughter they never had. When Jaehyun returned home from a busy day, you and his parents were already gobbling up the feast his mother had prepared.
“I wish I had a daughter like you,” his mom sighed as she adored the way your eyes sparkled at the marveling meat in your mouth. “Then we could go shopping, have dates, gossip..."
You laughed at her dreamy expression. “You already do that with Jaehyun.”
As Jaehyun occupied the seat next to you, his dad noted, “With Jaehyun out of the house more often, our gatherings are even rarer.”
Careful not to scratch the bowl, you scrapped the last grains of rice with your metal spoon. Taking notice of this, your attentive friend took your bowl once you set it down on the table and left for the kitchen to scoop more rice for you from the rice cooker.
“Don’t worry. I’ll stop by more often,” you assured Jaehyun’s parents. “It’s my duty as Jaehyun’s good friend to take care of you.”
You heard a rough grunt behind you as Jaehyun returned with your refilled bowl.
“Just take care of your own parents,” Jaehyun said with bitterness dripping from his voice.
Although you were concerned for him, you momentarily brushed off his acerbity for the sake of conversation.
“What? We’re practically twins,” you joked with a goofy expression, swinging your free arm around his shoulders. “We can pass as family, can’t we?”
His parents bursted out into laughter, and once his mom regained her composure, she pushed your favorite side dish towards you.
“많이 먹어라, 우리 딸~” (“Eat a lot, our daughter.”)
Once Jaehyun’s parents cleared their spots on the dinner table, they reminded you and Jaehyun to leave the remaining dishes in the sink.
As they left the dining room, you said, “I’ll wash them.”
“We know,” they sang over their shoulders before retreating to their shared room.
Smiling at their retreating form, you stole the seat Jaehyun’s dad once occupied and stared at Jaehyun with anticipation. Normally after practice, Jaehyun would be the one to talk about his day without having you ask him, but today, instead, he was silent, and all you could do was watch him quietly eat. He clearly wasn’t in the mood to talk, so you kept your mouth shut. When he finally glanced up at you, you took that as your chance to start a conversation no matter how blank and emotionless his expression was.
“How was your day today?” you asked.
It took him a second to answer “not bad”, and it was half-hearted.
You held in the rising sigh that threatened to leave your lips and continued to speak. “I’m glad your teachers let you off early today. Otherwise, you might have been eating alone right now on this holiday.”
The room fell silent once again. Maybe you do want to be alone right now. With that thought crossing your mind, you rose from the seat and piled your share of dishes in your hands.
“I’m going to start on the dishes now, but take your time eating,” you told Jaehyun, leaving him alone with his thoughts.
It was since that soulless night he stopped texting you.
You brushed off the bad feeling in your gut and tried to convince yourself that he was just going through some tough challenge in his life, but he became so distant and cold to you whenever you met him after his classes that you couldn’t believe that that boy was your childhood friend.
Like always, you were waiting on the opposite side of the building Jaehyun was in. As you checked the time on your phone, he walked out of the building, talking to a few of his trainee friends. He seemed lively and well, but the moment he laid eyes on you, all of that vigor instantly washed away. That was the first time you seriously considered that you were the problem of his attitude. Just what on Earth was going on? However, you didn’t try to pry information from him. Instead, you made the effort to rebalance his mood.
You tried to talk him into going to a new candy store that opened up around the corner of your guys’ neighborhood. “We’re not kids anymore” was his simple response and that was all he said on your guys’ way home. Your patience was running thin. You had waited for him for hours, doing homework assignments on the street, just to get to see him, but the treatment he was giving you was beyond rude.
You huffed out a short breath. “Jae, what’s going on? Is something bothering you?” When he didn’t respond, you pushed him, adding, “Something’s bothering you, isn’t there?”
“Nothing!” he snapped.
The tone of his voice was one thing, but the look he gave you was on a whole new level of annoyance. You felt your eyebrows knit together and your pulse accelerate at an alarmingly fast speed at his unannounced, frightening outburst.
“Hey, I-”
“It’s a pain spending time with you, so stop pushing!”
You couldn’t believe your ears. Was your best friend seriously telling you that you were a pain? Well, your so-called friend didn’t seem to care about your incredulous expression because he walked on without you, not looking back, while you stood there in absolute shock. Not once did he slow down his pace to wait for you or hesitate for a split second.
Following that incident, you stopped being the first one to text him. You were done with his attitude. If he wasn’t willing to reach out to you, then so weren’t you.
So were all the years of your guys’ friendship going down the drain because of that one incident?
As heartbreaking as it was to you, yes. Neither of you reached out to the other. You remained clueless to the reasons why he stayed mad at you, or why he got mad at you in the first place. Whenever you two were hanging out with mutual friends, you would ignore each other. Taeyong, a friend who used to frequently hang out with you and Jaehyun, grew worried. When he got the courage to ask either one of you what happened, he backed out when he saw the dangerous gaze Jaehyun gave him at the simple slip of your name and the narrowing eyes you gave him at the mere mention of your former best friend.
The days passed, and you were finally leaving for college in America. Because your parents were off working for their respective companies, everyone escorted you--even Jaehyun. Taking that as a sign of hope, you tried to start a conversation with him, but the moment his name left your timid lips, he turned his back on you and began a conversation with the first person he laid eyes on. That was your last attempt to reach out to him.
Once you boarded the plane and secured your window seat, you switched your phone to airplane mode and turned it off. All of the tv screens on the plane had the instructional safety video playing, but you were off in your little land of thoughts.
You vowed to get over your friend. You promised yourself that you would never contact him ever again. You even dramatically bid a silent farewell to the boy.
The plane jerked forward, causing you to tighten your seatbelt. Naturally, you looked out the window to take in the last view you would have of your home country with your own two eyes. The light pouring of rain trickled down the transparent window, beautifully complementing the orange lights that shone in the dark night. Memories, both good and bad, of your friends and family flashed past your mind. Memories of Jaehyun, especially, clouded your mind. Moments you two would sneak into each other’s houses just to talk because you didn’t have phones, times you would smack Jaehyun on the head for the number of girls he would reject, and finally...
“It’s a pain spending time with you, so stop pushing!”
A single tear resembling the sad raindrops out the window ran down your cheeks. With that, the plane took off, and you looked ahead at the mini tv screen.
Summary: You and your best friend Jaehyun are inseparable and love each other platonically. Key word: platonically. Or so you thought. When Jaehyun’s relationship with his girlfriend goes into turmoil, suppressed feelings resurface, but in the light of preserving friendship, an idiotic, ignorant front is put up. Will your relationship with Jaehyun remain stable or will the possibility of being something more be the ultimate destructive ending?
Note: Hey! So this is the scenario I’ve been hinting at for the past two updates. This scenario is by far the longest piece I’ve written, and it’s also a bit different from my usual one shots in the sense that I’m trying out a more angsty/fighting-type scenario. I hope you enjoy it!
“Jaehyun, open up!” a loud, shrill voice shrieked. “We need to talk!”
Banging soon followed and sure enough, it caught the attention of both occupants of the apartment: you and your best friend Jaehyun.
You and Jaehyun had the amazing opportunity to rent out an entire apartment floor, shared with a few of your mutual friends, including your younger cousin Haechan. Having an entire floor was unbelievably amazing, and you quickly adapted to the perks that came along with it. The best part of having one humongous floor was the sense of privacy. It seemed trivial to you at first, but not having that constant anxiety of coincidentally meeting your next door neighbor and not having to hear the constant arguments between next door children were things you got comfortable with. As a matter of fact, it was one of the reasons you used to convince the others to join you in renewing the contract a few months ago.
That was the perk, but it was being completely invaded by that crazy girl your best friend called his girlfriend. Generally, what he did to his girlfriends was his own problem, so he rarely talked to you about the reasons behind his break-ups. Sometimes, he wouldn’t even tell you whether he was still in a relationship or not. Of course, you, being his best friend, sensed his break-ups every time without him having to tell you. The dark gaze that passed his eyes when you once asked him about his date gave away everything. In that similar sense, you were always able to smell something fishy with every other relationship he had.
“Jaehyun, I know you’re in there!” his girlfriend continued to scream.
With the absurd situation, you had no idea what to do. It was thrown at you in the middle of your slumber, and all you could think about was how good of an alarm your friend’s girlfriend would have been with that booming voice of hers. Thankfully, everyone else on the floor had already left for either school or work. You and Jaehyun were the only ones whose schools ended early, so since the beginning of your summer break, both of you were typically the last ones to wake.
Standing in front of the intercom, staring at the girlfriend’s frustrated face, you angled your neck so that your head was tilted to one side. From that angle, her resemblance to Cassie from Dragon Tales was uncanny.
“Jung Jaehyun, I will stand here and wait for you all morning if I have to!” she yelled.
You immediately exchanged a terrified face with Jaehyun as he stood next to you, massaging his temples.
“Jae, you have to answer her,” you urged, not understanding why he was avoiding his girlfriend. “Our neighbors will complain.”
He freed his face of his hands and lifted his head to get a better look at his girlfriend through the intercom.
“Do I have to?” he groaned, which was completely out of character for him.
Dreading to face another angry girlfriend was normal, but openly avoiding confrontation was not Jaehyun. Maybe he’s tired of being angry at, you thought, concern taking over your facial expression. Why did his girlfriends end up being mad at him? You had no clue, but it happened almost every time. The one time one of them wasn’t mad was when you told Jaehyun to never let go of her.
“Hey,” Jaehyun spoke, pulling you from your trance. “I’m the one who has to deal with Screaming Girlfriend over there. What’s with your face?”
You directed your eyes at him, and when you saw the distress in his eyes, you finally mustered the courage to ask him the questions you were afraid to ask. “Why is it that your relationships, with the exception of Bora, end horribly? What are you doing to make them mad?”
You saw the change of look in his eyes. It was as if you were living in slow motion because you saw a clear transition from concern to stone, which is what you called Jaehyun’s emotionless, stoic state of being. Somewhere in your brain the “stone mode is activated” alert went off. You had no time to process why he was in stone mode because, suddenly, you were walking away from the intercom, but not by your own will. Jaehyun had a strong grip around your wrist, and he was practically dragging you away from the virtual screen of his screaming girlfriend. He was definitely avoiding your questions.
Figuring that pressing him on about his relationship patterns would pull a trigger to his patience, you decided to nag him about something less trivial, something you tended to do when you tried to mitigate tension.
“Jae, if the rest of them are going to come over here and disrupt our process of becoming Sleeping Beauty, you might as well move and leave me be at peace.”
When he kept dragging you away, you became more desperate.
“Hey, are you even listening to me? Aren’t you my best friend? Don’t you want your best friend to rejuvenate? Do you want me to live with bigger bags of dark circles, huh? Hey, are you there?”
By the last question, you were in front of your bedroom, your door opened the way you left it when you barged out of your room earlier that morning to see what the commotion was about. Your eyebrows furrowed as you failed to ease the tension because what he said next hit you like ice.
“Stay in your room,” he said, keeping his hands firmly wrapped around your wrists. “I don’t want you coming out until I say so.”
“Mother, all I did was ask a bunch of questions,” you replied sarcastically.
But Jaehyun wasn’t having it.
“Do you understand me?” he asked with the sternest look you had ever seen in him in the last six years you had known him.
Reluctantly, you let out a small sigh and nodded your head. “You won’t hear me squeak.”
He mirrored your actions, acknowledging your compliance before he left you standing there. This isn’t some kind of war film, you said silently. It’s not like you’re going off on conscription. Nevertheless, you closed the door, switching off the talkative voice in your head in the process.
...
“You’re never honest with me,” you heard Jaehyun’s girlfriend cry. “You always lie about your feelings! The time you... and that other time..."
It was minute twenty-three and you were racking your brain, trying to come up with a better way to hear the girl. What happened during the first twenty-three minutes? Some hitting. And some more hitting. And some more hitting until Jaehyun had had enough and asked her to calm down. It was silent for eight minutes, which was a pretty accurate time estimate, considering you were counting with the old-fashioned “one-mississippi, two-mississippi...".
The last two minutes were the freshest memories in your mind. It probably had to do with the fact that they were literally the last two minutes you could clearly listen to, but it undoubtedly had to do with the fact that the confrontation reminded you of the times your previous neighbors’ kids would shout at each other at each other and of the arguments your parents had their fair share of.
Damn, why does my room have to be farthest from the entryway? You silently cursed in frustration while you were on your stomach, trying to shove the side of your head, where your ears were located, down your door to hear better clarity through the bottom cracks.
“...I asked you so many times if you had feelings for..."
That was it. You had the last straw; you gave up and situated yourself against the wall, becoming comfortable with the opening cracks that the side of your door provided. Fortunately for you, your breathing stabled from all that activity, and you could hear the conversation, or argument, rather, more clearly.
“I asked you so many times and you never denied it!” you heard the girl say angrily.
“Because I figured that the first few times I answered truthfully with a definitive ‘no’, you didn’t believe me, so what difference does it make if I deny it or not when you clearly don’t trust me?” Jaehyun shot back, letting go of himself for the first time.
Sure, you witnessed him getting into physical fights and verbal altercations before, but not with a girl. He was always respectful and always kept his anger at bay. He had never raised his voice at anyone--except at you, but those times were never caused by angry outbreaks.
“I saw you sneaking around,” Jaehyun continued, “following us at the mall when I definitely told you that there was nothing going on!”
The mall? Your eyebrows scrunched together. Who was he at the mall with?
“It was the mall, Jaehyun!” his girlfriend--although you weren’t sure if she was his girlfriend anymore with all the fighting--spat. “People who go to the mall together are either family or are taken!”
“That’s ridiculous,” Jaeyhun retorted. “Since when was the mall off limits to friends?”
“Since I saw the look you gave her when you brought me to her birthday party!”
“What do you want me to do?!” Jaehyun exclaimed exasperatedly. “She’s my friend and I can’t just unfriend her!”
“That. I want that.”
And for the first time in ten minutes, the house was silent. Were you hearing things correctly? Were you hearing this girl forbid your best friend from seeing someone? That got you riled up. How dare that imbecile demand that ludicrous request of him?
Of course, other than the broken silence in your head, the silence in the entryway was short-lived when Jaehyun followed up with, “What?”
“You heard me: unfriend her.”
You heard Jaehyun scoff. “You’re delirious. I am not breaking off a friendship I value for some crazy request.”
Do it, Jae, you thought, your heart thumping in excitement for what you anticipated the next words in his mouth to be. Do it.
“I’m breaking up with you.”
Cue your celebratory dance, which was, of course, performed in your imagination. For the first time known in history, Jung Jaehyun had finally broken up with someone. Throughout the entirety of his life, Jaehyun was the one who was broken up with. In that moment, thanks to that crazy ex-girlfriend of his, he was the breaker for the first time. He did it, you sang, which accompanied your imaginary dance. He did it, he did it, he did-
“Fine,” the girl declared. “But tell me: did you love her or did you not?”
Jaehyun, his stone-cold voice still operating, countered with, “I’m not obligated to tell you anything.”
“As your ex, I demand-”
“All we’re doing is walking in an endless cycle we don’t need to be in anymore.”
“You’re not denying it, Jaehyun!”
“And we’re back in circles.”
When you heard nothing, you pushed yourself against the door, wanting to listen to everything. Is she gone? Did she leave? Did he get rid of her? No, she was far from gone.
Voices resurfaced and soon enough, you heard Jaehyun say hurriedly, “What are you doing?”
His voice neared and by the time you realized that she was heading towards your room, it was too late: she swung open your door, which, by the way, was unpleasant, especially because your face was already behind it.
“Don’t you dare pull her into this,” you heard your friend say in the middle of the swinging-the-door-open process, glaring daggers at his ex.
It never registered in that empty head of yours that you were the infamous mysterious identity in their disagreements--or any of his disagreements with his other girlfriends, really. It wasn’t until your eyes locked with hers, a chill running down all over your body. You swear her eyes were icy cold.
Jaehyun’s eyes followed hers. Feeling the need to break off the intense eye contact, you averted your eyes to him, earning you a scoff. You stood there, staring at Jaehyun helplessly.
“So this is the scum you keep lying about,” the girl suddenly attacked, to which you responded with your eyes instantly trailing back to her.
No one had called you out like that before. Never like that, and it felt disgusting. You had only met her twice, once the first time Jaehyun introduced her to you and second at your birthday party.
You were too immersed in your own thoughts, coming up with all the possible comebacks and attacks you could formulate, that you missed Jaehyun’s darkening eyes.
“Get out,” Jaehyun spoke, his voice dangerously low. “Get out now.”
“She-”
“Get your crap together and get out while I’m still being nice.”
The unfamiliar tone intrigued you into taking another look at your best friend and evaluating his expression. There was no doubt that he was pissed off. His eyebrows were stiff and his eyes were narrowed, replicating the coldness of an iceberg. He had his jaws clenched, which amazingly defined his jawline, leading your eyes to the veins that were protruding from his neck. He wasn’t huffing out angry breaths like the crazy girl in front of you; instead, he was breathing so skillfully with his nose that you, for a moment, doubted if he was breathing at all. At that point in time, you knew that that face wasn’t his rock-hard stone mode. It was his ultimate shut out mode, and although you lived for it, you feared for what he would do if the girl didn’t leave.
When the girl wouldn’t budge, Jaehyun did something that made you realize that that day was a day discovering a new side of Jaehyun. For the first time, he raised his voice at a girl, broke up with a girl, and brought out the ultimate shut out. In that moment, you witnessed one of the scariest (and manliest) sides of Jaehyun you had ever seen.
Your best friend, the guy who you believed, without a fail, was considerate of others, caring, and seriously entertaining at times, broke his quintessentially collected and patient self. He grabbed your wrist and, without a notice, pulled you closer to him, letting you inhale that whiff of the naturally floral-scented shampoo he used the other night and the honey-based face mask he had on before his ex showed up. In that situation, looking up at him, centimeters away from his face, had your stomach doing somersaults. His jawline was impeccably sharp, which was so beside the point, but you couldn’t help but admire his beauty. Even that beauty mark he developed on his neck, the mark people normally call a flaw, was a charming imperfection.
With his hand wrapped around your wrist, he warned, “We’re going to be in the kitchen as if nothing happened for exactly one minute. If you’re not gone by then, I’m calling the cops.”
And that was that. When his ex snobbishly sashayed away after a full minute, Jaehyun returned to his normal state and sighed in relief. He turned his attention to you and his hands left your wrists, only to land on your shoulders.
“You okay?” he asked in a soft, but rough voice.
You barely nodded. You were set in a trance with his beautiful eyes, which you noted were beautifully concerned for you. He offered a small smile and pulled you into a hug. It was only nine in the morning and both of you were tired.
“Sorry you had to go through that because of me,” he said quietly.
Your arms quickly found their way around a comfortable spot on Jaehyun’s torso.
“Hey, for you, I would go through that again anytime,” you breathed, a sincere smile forming on your lips.
He rested his chin on your head and began rocking your bodies back and forth.
“Really? You would relive that experience?”
“In a heartbeat.”
A chuckle left his lips and you felt his body, especially his chest, vibrate harmoniously in sync.
“You’re crazy,” he said.
“Maybe, but what are best friends for?”
And that’s when the swaying stopped. Subsequently, the warmth he provided you left your body.
“Right,” he spoke, pulling away from you.
The portion of warmth that was left was your fingertips because that was the last place that left his torso, and that withered away a split second later. He shot you a quick smile before heading towards the adjacent living room. Thinking that he wanted some time alone, you stayed in the kitchen, but he soon patted a place for you to sit on the couch next to him.
Somewhat relieved, you followed the steps he took to the living room and asked, “Are you tired?”
His eyes landed on yours and your heart broke at his tense state.
“If you ever want to get back with her, I can-”
Your face was met by one of the throw pillows.
“You’re crazy,” he chortled, shaking his head.
You smiled at your small success at bringing a smile on the exhausted face, so you tried for one more.
“You know, I would have told you to do whatever she asked of you and to fight for her, but, damn, she was so adamant and selfish that she was definitely not worth fighting for.”
He shook his head, laughing. “If she had trusted me, she would have stayed.”
It was his way of saying that it was okay, you thought. But what you weren’t aware of was that it was his way of secretly fighting for a certain someone.
He took a moment to collect his thoughts before he added, “Besides, I wouldn’t have trusted me either.”
It took a lot of willpower not to analyze what he meant by that, but you failed miserably after three seconds. You knew that you were mistaken as more than a friend by his crazy ex, but what did it mean when he was the one who said it? He was worn out. He probably wasn’t thinking properly, right? Settling with that answer, you lightly threw the pillow back at his direction.
“What are you talking about? It was her trust issue. We didn’t even hang out that much once you started going out with her.” You shook your head and continued, “The next time you have a girlfriend, I’ll make sure to tone it down whenever she’s around. Actually, consider me invisible.”
“The next time I have a girlfriend?”
“The next time you have a girlfriend.”
When he didn’t respond, you looked over at him, but by then he was already chuckling.
“After this, I think I’m going to lay off for a while.”
You goofily smiled at him. “Impossible. All the ladies go to Jaehyun.”
“All the angry ones.”
You agreed. “All the crazy ones. What are they thinking? Us? Together? Ridiculous.”
“That’s what I always tell them.”
In the back of your mind, you knew that it was possible that his girlfriends could have had trust issues with you since you and Jaehyun were of the opposite sex and were best friends for six years running, but it didn’t cross your mind that you were the root of their serious conflicts.
“So all this time, they confronted you about me?”
Your friend merely nodded his head.
“Wow, I didn’t know that I was popular with the ladies too.”
With the insane event that happened to him that day, all you wanted to do was restore his energy. You wanted him to forget what happened and live the summer like he should have, so that time, you were the one to take his wrist and pull him up.
“Let’s go.”
“But I’m tired.”
“Let’s go.”
...
To say you are a spontaneous person is false. Nothing you do is out of spontaneity. All the activities you partake of are predictable of you, and you’re okay with that because that’s you. However, to say that you are completely unpredictable would be false too. For your friends, you would do anything, and for Jaehyun, your best friend in the entire universe, you would do everything.
“Let’s go,” you said, pulling him out the door. “I promise you that you won’t regret it.”
So where did you lead Jaehyun to? Everywhere. You took him to the beach, where you both got your clothes wet. You snuck him into a rival college’s campus, a fairly easy thing to do, and watched a hilariously boring film production. You pushed him inside a famous coffee shop and ordered a fan favorite drink, which you shared with wacky straws. After visiting three new places in the span of four hours, you were drained of energy and so was he.
But there was one place left to go to, one perfect place to end the day.
“So where is this surprise you’re taking me to?” Jaehyun asked, walking alongside you on an unfamiliar sidewalk.
“You’ll see,” you teased ambiguously. “We’ll be there in five minutes.”
Because you were in an unfamiliar place, you had your virtual map on your phone to guide you the way to the highly rated, must-go-to, chill restaurant. The restaurant was a perfect place to end the day: you could eat everything there, return home with full stomachs, and sleep well. It was the ideal situation you formed in your mind. While you were checking the directions, Jaehyun peered over your shoulder to take a sneak peek. You, noticing right away the shadow that loomed over you, immediately retracted your arms behind your back and narrowed your eyes at your friend who had the back of his head already facing you and was whistling to a horrible tune.
“Hey, no cheating,” you warned him.
Jaehyun swiftly spun his head and raised an eyebrow at you.
“Is this supposed to be a game?” he asked, tilting his head.
“It’s supposed to be a surprise,” you huffed, but when you saw the ends of his lips curl upward, you pressed, “You saw the name, didn’t you?”
Cue the dramatic gasp.
“No, I did not,” Jaehyun scoffed playfully. “I cannot believe you would accuse me of such foul play.”
When you glared at him, he broke into an innocent, but not-so-innocent, smile. You couldn’t help but be enchanted by the way the angle of his tilted head let him cover the sun, the rays of the light shining around him in an endless circle. The way he smiled at you was so pure-looking that you wanted to scream and pinch his dimples. The sparkle in his eyes reflected pure joy, and you wondered if you were the one to have pulled that out of him. No, you reminded yourself. That’s just how he smiles. Nonetheless, your heart raced with an impressive speed. As soon as you felt your face warming up, you set your eyes on the road ahead of you.
In less than five minutes, you safely and successfully guided Jaehyun to the right place.
“This is it,” you told him, looking up at a sign that read Al’s Place. “Surprise.”
Jaehyun laughed at the lack of enthusiasm in your voice.
“Sorry for peeping earlier,” he said, not-so-gently patting your head.
You simply grunted in response.
When you entered the restaurant, you were greeted by an overly eager hostess.
“Hi, welcome to Al’s Place! How many?”
“Two,” you replied while Jaehyun scanned the place with his eyes.
As the hostess led you to a table of two, Jaehyun leaned towards you and whispered, “Nice place.”
You hummed in response, taking a look at the place yourself. Along the way, you saw a couple of looks being thrown your way--or more specifically, Jaehyun’s way. It wasn’t a foreign occurrence, but it reminded you of the whole “I wouldn’t trust myself either” phrase, which brought you back to: what in the world did he mean by that? If it meant anything remotely to what you secretly wished it meant, you weren’t going to risk your friendship with Jaehyun for a short-term, badly ended relationship like he had with all of his other girlfriends. You just wanted to remain his secret admirer and maintain a strong relationship.
When it came to Jaehyun, there was no wrong. Even when he made mistakes, he learned from them and “benefited from them,” according to him, “because all those mistakes served to be cardinal learning experiences that would eventually allow him to become a bigger human being”. That was Jung Jaehyun for you, and with your influence on him on a romantic level, that was too much pressure for you. Once, on a day out at a festival with your fellow housemates, Jaehyun had a flock of girls running at him at once, asking for his number. Naturally, he courteously rejected all of them. He had a girlfriend at the time, and, afterall, his friends were waiting for him with their orders. While he rejected them, you and Haechan, being the only ones who volunteered to assist Jaehyun, threw the idea around that no girls would be good enough for Jaehyun.
“He’s so damn awesome,” you said, expressing your strong acknowledgement of your best friend’s impactful presence. “He’s there with girls swarming around him while we’re here standing like loners waiting for our single-sticked corn dogs for our single selves.”
“But you know,” your wise cousin started, “I think when he finds a girl who likes him for him and not his looks, they’ll be burdened by his lack of amorality.”
Leaning back on the corn dog stand’s extended counter to allow your elbows to rest, you observed the way Jaehyun kindly turned down all of his offers. “You think?”
“It’ll probably happen. I’m pretty sure Jaehyun’s thinking about it too.”
“That jackass is probably thinking too highly of himself,” you scoffed, but it was an act you put up, and that wise cousin you considered your close friend read you like a book.
“You know more than anyone that he’s simply thinking of all the possibilities of the perils that will come with each relationship he’s involved in,” Haechan said matter-of-factly. “With all the girls he’s gone out with over the years, whether he likes to admit or not, he’s probably tired of calculating what peril he has to anticipate at the start of any relationship.”
“And you’re saying that when the right girl comes along, that conflict will be her low self-esteem?”
Haechan hummed in response, his fingers tapping to a small but fitting tune for the hot summer as he waited for your response.
Your hesitant response mirrored the lingering anxiety that you couldn’t get rid of.
“He’s so perfect that he has to worry about being perfect, yet that’s a burden to the girl,” you finally said with a bitter smile. “So unrelatable.”
You ignored the gaze Haechan was giving you. You didn’t want to know what he was thinking although you had a feeling it had to do with your last comment. He knew the front you put up. He saw right through you. If he saw through you, could everyone else? Could Jaehyun? Instead of dealing with Haechan, you watched Jaehyun reject the last girl. That’s when it dawned on you why you had put up a front, especially for your best friend Jaehyun...
It started three years prior to the festival, when you were freshmen in college. You were trying to navigate your way through the enormous hallways when you spotted a very familiar brown-haired boy. Jung Jaehyun. His hair was originally black, but he dyed his hair to the lighter shade it became, telling you that he wanted to start a fresh, unanticipated image, and apparently dying his hair was the first step. In response, you snickered and bet that he would return looking like a mess. With that gorgeous girl he was conversing with in the hallway, you knew that you had lost the bet.
Preceding your college days, Jaehyun only had flings. None of his encounters with girls were serious. It wasn’t that he was a player. It was simply because he wasn’t looking for a committed relationship before college. He once told you, before one of your many movie marathons began, that he didn’t want to deter his studies with an alluring distraction. Yes, he said that right before you started your movie marathon on a school night. Regardless his reasons seemed ridiculous to you or not, he kept his word, and, at the time, you were secretly relieved.
College was a new territory. That meant that it was Jaehyun’s time to explore the new world of relationships. That meant you had to let go of your buried feelings for Jaehyun, but they were so deeply buried that you never bothered to dig deeper. You just left them sitting there, burying them more when you came up with a defense mechanism, which started when Jaehyun announced to you that he was seeing someone, that majestic girl in the hallway.
With the exception of hints of jealousy peeping here and there, his flings in high school didn’t trouble you. They were purely flings, afterall. There was no harm in them. Serious, committed relationships, however, were on a different level. When things became serious with his first girlfriend, you developed a system that would ward you off from showing your true feelings, which would have otherwise had you raging with jealousy. That system was sarcasm. You weren’t really the sarcastic-type of friend, but it was the only way that safely kept a distance from you and Jaehyun to prevent any possibility of romantic feelings slipping. It was also--now this you failed to acknowledge--a way to distance yourself from any remotely amorous feelings with anyone, and this helps explain why your dating life barely existed.
“Earth to Miss Crazy.”
Jaehyun was waving his hand in front of your face, repeating the same line until you snapped back to reality.
“Aren’t you going to recommend something for me?” he asked when your eyebrows relaxed.
“Hey, I’m just as new of a person here as you are,” you said, shaking your head.
“But still,” he pushed, like a child. “You brought me here.”
Instead of fighting back like you would have normally done, you called a random waitress to order. To your luck (note the sarcasm), the waitress was the one who was sending googly eyes to Jaehyun earlier. Setting that fact aside, you calmly asked her for the most popular set menu. Whatever left her mouth, you couldn’t focus because all you could think about was how she had her eyes all over Jaehyun. Oblivious to this, your unsuspecting friend continued to read the menu. When the buzzing stopped, you realized that you had no idea what she had said, so you naturally asked your unaware friend if the set sounded appealing.
He looked up from the menu and nodded. “Sounds good to me.”
The waitress smiled widely. “Okay, then I’ll be back with your orders. If there’s anything else you need, anything, just call me over.”
You handed her your menu, which she took by the far corner, but when Jaehyun extended his, she deliberately let her hands graze over his soft, slender fingers before leaving the scene. You examined your friend’s expression, and it was not good. He was visibly uncomfortable with the interaction.
“So,” you started, grabbing his attention, “how was today for a surprise?”
...
The interaction with the waitress definitely put you in for a chaotic spin in your head, but you didn’t want your messy thoughts to spoil dinner. Jaehyun, although affected at first, eventually forgot about it. The both of you shared a good meal with random conversational topics, sharing upcoming projects and reminiscing about a few memories.
When you were done with your dishes, the waitress returned, and something was different about her. Was it her face? No. Her clothes? Maybe. If people consider busting an extra button open as changing the appearance, then, yes, that was the change. She was clearly drooling over Jaehyun, her eyes full of lust. When she asked, “Can I interest you with our dessert menu?”, she made sure to make eye contact with Jaehyun, biting her lower lip. Your genius friend, however, simply cocked his head sideways at you, asking you for your thoughts.
“Very classy,” you said, over pronouncing “classy” to make sure he got your intention. “Very classy dessert, don’t you think?”
He shook his head, distaste apparent in his eyes. “No.”
Although there was jealousy stirring inside of you, you kept your cool and put up an act, deciding to make it seem like you were stifling your laughter.
“Fine, we’ll take the cherry cupcake surprise,” you said, directing your comment to the waitress, who took one final look at Jaehyun before strutting away.
Watching her walk away, you commented, “Wow, I did not know that this was a dinner and a show type of restaurant.”
You turned your attention to Jaehyun, who was shooting you a dirty look your way. You wiggled your eyebrows suggestively.
“Looks like somebody has the hots for you.” You smirked at him, but he simply sighed. “I see someone’s tired of being Mr. Popular.”
He shook his head at you. “You know I’m not interested.”
“Yes, yes, I know. She’s not even your type.”
To that, Jaehyun raised an eyebrow. “I have a type?”
“Everyone has a type.”
You took your glass of water in your hands and swirled it around.
“Do you have a type?” he asked.
Staring at the disturbance you created, you answered, “Sure, I just don’t know it yet.”
When you heard him click his tongue, you looked up from your glass and scrunched your nose.
“Hey, I’m sorry that I haven’t dated as many people as you have,” you said, sarcasm dripping in your voice.
With curiosity taking over his face, he asked, “When was the last time you went out on a date?”
“Oh, I don’t keep track.”
Jaehyun was transparently amused at your vague response.“It’s been that long?”
“Excuse me for trying to find the right guy,” you scoffed.
“So,” he said, leaning forward with anticipation, “what do you think my type is?”
You promptly answered, “Someone who’s willing to craze over your obsession with wine.”
Right away, Jaehyun leaned back in his chair. “I don’t understand why you have to hate wine.”
“I don’t hate it,” you corrected him. “I would prefer water to it.”
“That’s-”
He stopped in mid-sentence when he spotted something, or rather someone.
“Just wait until you try this wine.”
In that moment, the waitress came back with your desserts, and for the first time, Jaehyun directed his speech at her.
“We’ll have **** wine.”
“Of course, I’ll be right back with your drink.”
When he averted his gaze back to you, you gave him a knowing look.
“But you gotta admit that she’s pretty hot.”
And at that, he deadpanned, but he swiftly recovered, asking, “So what else am I looking for in a girl?”
You handed him a clean fork, which he took, and his fingers brushed past yours ever so slightly, leaving you with a tingling sensation. You took your own fork and split the cherry cupcake in half, giving Jaehyun the side with the cherry; you didn’t enjoy cherries as much as he did.
Suppressing your growing feelings, you finally answered his question. “You seem to go out with girls who are pretty outgoing, which surprises me.”
“And why is that?” he queried, taking a bite of his half of the cupcake.
You shrugged. “You’re calm and collected at most times, and I say most times because that five percent you aren’t, no one can contain you.”
Licking the remaining frosting on his lips, he pointed at the cupcake and said, “Now that’s a good cupcake.”
You took the time to let the flavors of the dessert melt on your tongue before ultimately agreeing with Jaehyun.
“And that wasn’t even a recommended dessert,” you remarked, proud of your choice of order.
Jaehyun playfully applauded for you. “I commend you for that.”
“Oh and by the way,” you spoke, continuing your thoughts about his type. “You have this thing with girls with long hair. Do you know that it’s a pain to maintain long hair? We lose hair because of the weight of it.”
“I’ll do my best to keep the range diverse,” Jaehyun noted, laughing.
“I’m not kidding. Jae.”
“Then why do you have long hair?” he fired with amusement in his eyes, pointing out the irony.
“I-”
Just then, the infatuated waitress interrupted you, approaching you and Jaehyun with a bottle of wine and two additional wine-tasting glasses.
“Here is your bottle of **** wine,” she announced a little breathless.
You offered a small smile, but her attention was all on Jaehyun. She purposefully set the glassware in front of him and opened the bottle of wine with a small but audible grunt. You had no idea if that was intentionally supposed to be a grunt or if it was supposed to sound more sensual. Either way, it was incomparable to what she did next.
While she moved on from one glass to the other, the waitress “accidentally” tipped over one of them in the direction of Jaehyun. Your unfortunate friend immediately grimaced, and the waiter, at once, set down the bottle of wine down on the table and rushed to his side.
“I am so sorry,” she gasped, touching his arms. “I am such a clutz.”
While Jaehyun reassured her that he was fine through his gritted teeth, you quickly reached for the pile napkins at the edge of the table and tossed them to Jaehyun. He slid his chair backwards to dab the moist parts of his outfit, but the waitress had other plans. She snatched the napkins from the empty table next to yours and tried to help your soaked friend by reaching down to his chest. Jaehyun responded with quick reflexes and shot up from his seat.
The waitress met his eyes with the most seductive look she could display. “Let me help.”
Jaehyun, however, wasn’t pleased. Ignoring his unwavering gaze, she attempted to “help” again, but this time she aimed for his pants. To this, Jaehyun instantly grabbed her by her wrist.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he snapped.
Round two of an approaching shut out mode.
The waitress flinched under the pressure of his hands, and when she saw his dark, fuming eyes, she immediately diverted her eyes. He released her wrists roughly, his gaze unchanging, and took you, the silent bystander, by the hands.
“Jae, what are you-”
Jaehyun didn’t let you finish your sentence as he pulled you out of the restaurant while you tried not to meet the stares of strangers. He stormed past the hostess that had welcomed you and pushed the doors open with such force that it felt like winter. The next thing you knew, you were heading towards a park.
“Jae,” you called, trying to listen to you. “Jae, stop.”
But he kept going.
“Jae, we can’t just leave the restaurant like that,” you reasoned. “You do realize we have to pay..."
Your voice trailed off when he slowed down and turned around. He looked at you dead in the eye.
You gulped. “Look, I know what she did was wrong, but-”
“She clearly has no moral conscience!” he yelled, causing you to wince.
He was definitely outraged and there was going to be no easy way to calm him down other than listening to him.
“She was clearly trying to seduce a customer,” he went on angrily. “I was clearly not comfortable. Did I or did I not look uncomfortable?”
“You gave her clear signs, Jae,” you responded as calmly as you could. “And it was totally wrong of her to ignore them.”
“And what’s more is that you didn’t seem to care.”
That was a sudden splash in the face. Didn’t care? Of course you cared! How could you not care?
“Jae, I did care,” you tried to explain, your hands flailing around in the process. “And I’m sorry I didn’t do anything to prevent her actions when you were visibly uncomfortable, but understand that I care.”
The fire in his eyes did not cease.
“Because you’re my friend,” he said.
“Of course, I-”
“And nothing more.”
That slapped you hard. It was true that you were his friend, but to hear him expose the one thing you tried so hard to bury hurt.
With a pained expression written all over your face, you pleaded, “Jae, what are you trying to say? Of course I’m your friend, but the problem is that the waitress back there was extremely inappropriate.”
“I’m mad at the waitress, but I’m more frustrated that you can’t seem to take a hint!”
Your eyes frantically bounced back and forth between his infuriated eyes that drilled into yours. Was he seriously angry at you? For what? You had arguments in the past, but you always knew where those conflicts rooted. This, however, was not one of them. Nothing could register properly in your brain with that look he was giving you.
“Jae, are you mad at me?” you asked quietly.
The feeling of fear crept up behind you, the fear that he was mad at you and for an unknown reason at that. Having to deal with an outburst due to pure emotions was one thing. To have a close friend genuinely mad at you was another. Your hands began to tremble as you brought them to your chest.
“I-I didn’t mean to anger you,” you stammered, your voice breaking and lips slightly quivering. “I genuinely didn’t mean ignore the problem.”
Seeing your frightened state, Jaehyun’s eyes softened, and he took your hands in his.
“I’m not mad at you,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m really not mad.”
When you couldn't calm down, he pulled you into a hug, his hands brushing through your rough hair.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled as his face nestled against your neck. “I’m really not mad at you.”
“Okay,” you whispered, letting your arms slowly wrap around his torso. “I believe you.”
You two stayed in that position for a few long seconds before he broke away from your embrace, searching your face for any upset feelings until his brown eyes locked with your darker ones. His strong, yet delicate hands reached your face, his thumbs stroking your cheeks. Your bodies were nearly one. The expression that his eyes revealed was one that you couldn’t read. All you knew was that they were soft but passionate--loving, almost.
“I’m not mad at you,” he repeated softly.
“I believe you,” you said again.
You watched him take a deep breath before saying, “I’m in love with you.”
A gust of wind rushed past your protected face, but the same couldn’t be said the same for your heart. It was thumping rapidly, faster than when you ran the mile for your gym class several years ago. For months--years, even--you had been sharpening your defense mechanism to cope with your love-struck feelings. You developed this unhealthy system to prevent the destruction of your relationship with Jaehyun, yet there your best friend and crush was, confessing his attachment to you. In an instant, whatever you built washed away.
“Do you know why everyone had a hard time trusting me?” he spoke, his eyes surveying yours. “Because they all knew that my heart was taken by someone else.”
You already knew the answer judging by the look in his eyes, but you wanted him to confirm it again.
“Who?” you whispered, the corners of your lips tugging upward.
A genuine smile appeared on his lips as he breathed, “You’re an idiot.”
It was your turn to smile like an idiot. Your smile grew so big that it started to hurt. Jaehyun leaned down and lightly pressed his plump, smooth lips against your forehead, his hands still cupping your face.
All these years being friends with Jaehyun had you learn one thing: you never really got over him. Whatever you previously thought about not wanting to risk your friendship with him was gone. When you lost yourself in his gorgeous eyes, you knew that you weren’t going to let go of that chance.
“I love you too, Jae,” you said with the brightest smile that had ever appeared on your face.
It candidly was the best way to end the day and a secret fight that you and Jaehyun had both been struggling with--a fight for each other.
Hey, guys! This post is for my fellow Asianfanfics reader who came from my latest update there. This is where my new beginning started, where my new adventure awaits. Thanks for visiting, and please give this new stage a chance.
For absolutely new readers, you may be wondering why it sounds like I’m starting at the beginning when I clearly have posted stories here before. That’s because it’s exactly how it sounds: I’m moving on and starting over from an old platform. After testing the water for a couple of months, I am here to proudly say that I am here to stay.
Genre: one shot, fluff, slightly suggestive (implied smut)
Summary: It’s been a month since you last saw your boyfriend. When it’s finally the day to meet him, his late appearance has you coping with feelings that make you go out of character.
Note: Along with the previous post, this is a lighthearted scenario to “lighten” up the mood for what’s to come... (*hint, hint*) Until then, enjoy this scenario!
When you hear the music of the keypad, you jump up from your couch and rush your way over to the door. When the music comes to a stop and the door handle is angled, your eyes widen in anticipation. The door swings open, and your face immediately drops.
Today is the long-awaited day you’ve been waiting for: at long last, you get to spend the evening with your lovely boyfriend, Jaehyun, since his departure for his world tour a month ago. Waiting for a month without any physical contact or voice calls was unbelievably painful, but you managed to pull through. Right now, though, you’ve been waiting for him all afternoon and all that waiting is starting to mess with your brain.
“What’s with the face?” the man standing in front of you asks, taking off his sneakers.
“I thought you were Jaehyun,” you answer with a visible pout. “But you’re just Johnny.”
The tall man rolls his eyes. “Gee, I’m glad to see you too.”
He steps out of the entryway and swings his arm around your shoulders, guiding you away from the precious entrance.
“Your boyfriend’s still working on the dance he missed out on yesterday,” Johnny informs you, but his words mean nothing to you.
You turn your head around, hoping to hear the same notes from the keypad.
“He’s not going to come back sooner just because you’re staring at the door like a weirdo-”
There they are, those notes, the notes you’ve been another minute waiting for. You and Johnny simultaneously exchange looks at each other, yours being smug and Johnny’s reflecting the image of a surprised kangaroo.
“How did you do that?” he asks in wonderment as you slip out of his touch.
You’re back to square one, staring at the door, waiting for the handle to be angled. This time, Johnny joins you with an amazed expression. During the three long seconds you wait, you hear indistinct conversations, to which you hope that among the numerous voices behind that door, one of them belongs to your boyfriend.
“Who takes so long to press the keypad?” you say, impatience evident in your tone.
“Kim Doyoung,” Johnny replies easily.
After an eternity of three seconds, you see the door swing open in the same manner it was done before. You and Johnny stand there, watching the door open as if everything is in slow motion.
The first person to walk in is, as Johnny predicted, Doyoung. The moment you realize it’s him, you get on your toes to see the faces following behind him.
“Jaehyun?” you call, hoping that you get a response.
“Nope,” Johnny responds instead as another member comes into view. “It’s Yuta.”
“Jaehyun?” you try again.
“Nope,” Johnny says, popping the “p”. “It’s Taeil.”
“Jaehyun?”
“Nope. Haechan.”
“Jaehyun?”
“Nope, Mark.”
“Jaehyun?”
“Hey, there’s no one left,” Johnny points out.
There it is, that empty feeling in your heart once again. You feel dejected, wondering if Jaehyun can hear your telepathic message, pleading him to come early.
Your misery catches the eyes of the incoming members, causing them to crowd around you.
“What’s wrong?” they ask, genuinely concerned about your state.
You were never like this before. In fact, you’re considered to be the chiller one of the friend group.
“She misses our hardworking Jaehyun,” Johnny replies for you, gently patting your head.
Upon hearing the problem, the boys try to cheer you up.
“We can play Mario Kart,” Haechan suggests.
“And eat ice cream,” Mark adds.
“If it makes you feel any better,” Yuta speaks, “he says that he can’t wait to come back.”
You look up at him with glittering eyes. “Really?”
“Yeah,” he assures you, proud that he’s the one to lift your spirits. “Don’t worry. As long as Mia isn’t late today, he’ll be back in no time.”
“Mia?”
The light in your eyes fades, overshadowed by the growing sense of jealousy. You can feel your blood starting to boil.
“Mia?” you repeat for the second time in disbelief. “Isn’t Mia a girl?”
The boys exchange glances at each other, all ending up at Yuta, who raises his arms up in the air.
“It just slipped,” he says, defending himself.
“So Jaehyun’s working with a girl?” you pronounce slowly. “A girl. Alone.”
The boys are quick to correct you, “No, no, definitely not alone.”
“Taeyong and Jungwoo are there too,” Mark reveals, practically rapping.
Yuta furiously nods. “And Mia’s not the only teacher there, so the more, the merrier, right? In fact, the name’s Ale-”
Your dangerous gaze cuts him short.
The wide-eyed boys silently look at Yuta, swearing through their eyes.
“Oi,” Johnny sighs, rubbing his temples.
“So that means there’s more room for Mia to spend with Jaehyun while the other teacher focuses on the others?” you say, your voice rising with volume each passing second.
Your heart is racing and your hands are shaking. Your breath is becoming unstable and, for some reason, so are your fingers. Jaehyun is spending time with some female instructor before he’s spending time with you? That’s completely fine--except it’s not. It isn’t something you can do anything about--it’s his job--but knowing that he’s a fine-looking man, you can only imagine what the instructor will do to him. Heck, if you were her, you would probably feel him up too, no doubt.
And here comes that aching void in your heart.
“Hey, why don’t we all relax and go do Mario Kart like Haechan said?” Taeil urges after taking into account the time you spent sulking at the door.
As the boys drag you away, Johnny and Doyoung are left behind, watching you refuse to play Mario Kart.
“Well this is a first,” Doyoung remarks, stunned at your behavior. “I’ve never seen her so... mopey. It’s a shame that Jaehyun couldn’t be with us when she paid a visit to the company last week.”
Johnny shakes his head, pitying your downcasted state. “Not seeing him for a month and not being able to call him because of his schedule, that’s gotta be tough.”
No kidding. You’re dying without his touch, without seeing his face or hearing his voice. You’re literally going crazy.
“Hey, hey, hey, she’s biting me!”
Who’s yelling? It doesn’t matter. You’re going crazy.
...
The boys somehow managed to calm you down with a few rounds of Mario Kart. Technically, you calmed yourself down, considering you were so furious that you were a beast in the game and came out on the top.
“That’s right!” you shout, winning another round.
So you aren’t calm, but you’re definitely not thinking about Jaehyun and that female instructor the boys call “Mia”.
All is going well until you hear the all-too-familiar melody of the keypad. You speedily pause the game with your controller, earning you a few complaints, which quickly die down when you silence them with a simple glare.
“All I’m saying is that she obviously faked her stomach pain so that she could leave early with Alex,” you hear a voice you know all too well.
“At least our practice ended early,” another distinct voice responds. “I don’t think I could have handled being in that room for another moment.”
The boys’ eyes rapidly scan your face as they mentally prepare themselves for another biting session.
“I’m surprised that Jaehyun’s still practicing,” the second voice says, nearing the living room.
“He’s probably immune to the couple-y things Mia and Alex do because he has a girlfri-”
The former voice halts.
“Taeyong, Jungwoo, where’s Jaehyun?”
The two boys, who were innocently waltzing into the living room, stop in their tracks when they see the fiery look in your eyes. Before they have the chance to comprehend the situation, they are saved by the keypad. You hear the door open for the last time, and you vanish from the boys’ sight.
“Jung Jaehyun!”
You see the growing smile on your boyfriend’s face and tackle him with the biggest hug you can offer.
“I’ve missed you!” you cry, taking in his sweet, natural scent. “Why didn’t you come sooner?”
He snuggles his face into your neck. “I was going to practice a few more times, but I couldn’t let myself be away from you any longer.”
He pulls his face away from your neck to get a good look at you.
“I’ve missed you too,” he coos lovingly, leaning in for your lips, to which you move away.
You aren’t going to let go of your jealousy that easily.
You hear a couple of feet shuffling behind you, and your boyfriend peers over your shoulder, sending a questioning gaze to his fellow bandmates.
“Mark?” he calls, remembering how the boy once accidentally ruined your surprise birthday party.
The boys shake their head and point at Yuta.
“Hey, I was just trying to help,” the accused boy utters.
“Twice,” Johnny adds.
“Mia,” Doyoung words to Jaehyun silently, directing him to the source of the complication.
Grasping the situation with remarkable speed, Jaehyun nods, signalling to his friends to give them some space.
“I tried,” Yuta mumbles while the others leave you two to be.
Although you’ve missed Jaehyun, there’s this voice in the back of your mind that constantly reminds you of your jealousy towards the time he seems to be spending with other people more than you. You love him and understand him, but you simply want to see how he’ll deal with this jealous side of you, so you act childishly.
When you don’t look at him in the eye, he smiles and says, “You know Mia’s taken, right?”
“But it’s you,” you murmur, staring at your feet.
“You’re right,” he says, resting his hands on your shoulders. “It’s me. I’m in love with you and my eyes are only set on you.”
He senses that you’re starting to become looser, so he takes your hands in his and tilts his head forward to see you eye-to-eye.
“I’ll make up for the lost time,” he promises. “Pinkie swear.”
You still don’t respond, which takes up a lot of your energy not to do because you really want to lose yourself in those striking brown eyes of his, but you’ve been with him long enough for him to know how to work his way around this type of situation.
He lowers himself to your ears and whispers, “Hey.”
One word and he already has you melting with your legs turning into jelly.
And one final impactful statement from him has you hooked: “Let’s go to my room.”
...
Fifteen minutes have passed and there is still no word from either you or Jaehyun. The boys, gathered around the couch, start to feel anxious.
“Maybe they’re giving each other the silent treatment,” Mark speaks, breaking the silence.
“Shouldn’t we go check up on them?” Yuta asks, glancing at the door you and Jaehyun disappeared behind.
Johnny gets up on his knees and says, “I’ll signal something if anything’s wrong.”
He carefully makes his way to the door. When he presses his ear against the door, an instant smirk forms on his face.
“Why? What’s going on in there?” the boys ask.
Instead of respecting your guys’ privacy, Johnny decides to gesture the guys over to join him, and when they do, a lot of their faces flush.
“Th-this isn’t something that we should listen to,” Mark stutters, his ears red and eyes wide.
But all of them remain there. Another five minutes pass and that’s when it hits Doyoung.
Summary: You’ve been a close friend of NCT for a long time. They love you and they can get very protective of you, so when you start seeing a guy, they start bombarding him with questions.
Note: Just a light scenario to refer back to when I post a serious(ly long) one shot with some angst--not a lot of angst, but it’s there and more prevalent than all of my posts combined so far, so get ready! In the meantime, enjoy this light fluff! _______________________________________________________________________
It was one minute and twenty-seven seconds since you sat down in the living room with your boyfriend, who was right by your side, and all you wanted to do was dig a hole and stay in there.
There they were, gathered around you two, with their hands under their chins, staring blatantly at your boyfriend. You mentally deadpanned. Just what on Earth were they doing? To you, there was one simple answer to that: they wanted to embarrass you and scare off the first boyfriend you’ve had in months.
As an only child, you never experienced what it was like to have a protective sibling watching out for you, but there was no need for one when you had the boys. You love them and understand that they’re looking out for you, but there were times when they could have toned down their protective mode (by a lot), like when you brought your boyfriend over to their shared apartment.
“So how long have you been seeing our sister?”
You glanced many times at your boyfriend (you couldn’t afford to take your eyes off of your crazy friends in fear they might do something regrettable) as you assured him, “You know they’re not actually-”
Haechan waved you off. “We’ve been friends with her since elementary school, some of us since pre-school, so we’re basically family.”
Jaemin joined with a menacing gaze. “You’re both on a vacation with one of your best friends.”
“Nana, what-”
Chenle was the second to cut you off. “And both of them are drowning.”
Jisung leaned forward with anticipating eyes. “Who do you save?”
“Hey, that’s ridiculous,” you exclaimed. “We’ve only been going out for two weeks.”
“Let the guy speak for himself,” Jeno said for the first time, directing his comment to you.
Renjun nodded in agreement. “He hasn’t spoken since he introduced himself,”
Those two little angels practically pushed your boyfriend to his deathbed because they knew that there was no right answer: whatever answer your boyfriend chose, they would be dissatisfied and would press for more information, demanding for an explanation. All eyes were on your boyfriend, including yours. You watched your poor partner gulp as the intensity of the moment reached its pinnacle. He averted his gaze to you in a very shaky manner, and you knew that the youngsters had gotten to him. There was going to be no end to this torment.
...
The torment the younger boys gave you and your boyfriend was brutal, but it was nothing compared to the scheme the others plotted. If the younger ones were a pre-screening trial, the others were the real test.
“So what do you do for a living?”
“What do you plan on doing once you graduate from college?”
“Where did you go to high school?”
“Where did you take our beloved sister out on the first date?”
“Do you know GCM? Because we all like GCM. Our beloved sister loves GCM.”
“What flavor of ice cream do you like?”
“Do you take the first bite of a fish-shaped bread from its tail or head?”
“Have any of your ex-girlfriends broken up with you because of a personality issue of yours?”
“Are you sane?”
That last question was thrown by your peculiar friend Mister Kim Jungwoo. For him, that was a sane question.
It was one question after another and it was if your boyfriend was participating in some kind of an interrogation by the police, except all of the questions were absolutely ridiculous.
“Do you like cheese?”
That was another question asked by, again, Mister Kim Jungwoo, making you scream internally.
It truly was a tortuous evening, and your friends would not take one second to rest. To your comfort, your boyfriend was perfectly able and answered all of them, though he did so sometimes stuttering not because he was nervous but because the questions were so absurd that he was taken aback.
It was supposed to be a normal dinner. There was supposed to be eating and pleasant conversations. Instead, there was a bunch of stabbing the chicken in the chicken salad and sipping the glass of wine like tea. Not one bit of that evening was pleasant for you.
The only person who didn’t say anything was Mark, and you were pleased that there was at least one decent person in the room who respected your space and your boyfriend’s privacy. At least, that was until you walked your boyfriend out the door, profusely apologizing on behalf of your protective pack of wolves. Being the most considerate and understanding person you knew, he shook his head and laughed it off. You loved the way he laughed and the way he was so chill about everything. You were so fortunate to have found someone incredible like him.
Under the orange light that the entryway provided, his smile was too radiant for you to handle. It was like a magnet. You pulled yourself closer to his body and let your hands travel to his sides.
“Really? You don’t think that they were a tad too much?” you said, making sure your head was pulled back a little so that he could get a good view of your smile.
With his hands supporting your back, he answered, “Maybe, but I understand.”
He seriously was an amazing guy. The electrifying moment, his eyes gazing into yours and your bodies touching with such warmth, had the opportunity to be an amazing one. Of course, someone had to sabotage the moment. You were kind of expecting it. The thing is, it never occurred to you that the one person who was silent the entire time could be the one who stooped the lowest.
“It’s okay that they love you,” left your boyfriend’s lips before you leaned in.
“You got that right,” a voice said, popping out of nowhere.
Behind the two of you was Mark Lee, who was standing there so naturally with a jumbo-sized bag of chips in his hands. His eyes twinkled with no mischief, but his grin was like Cheshire Cat.
“No kissing on the first meeting with your in-laws,” he said quite loudly, reaching for another chip.
And that did it.
“Kissing?!” you heard multiple voices shout.
You and your boyfriend automatically exchanged looks that mirrored each other’s fright.
Mark, still grinning, added, “We’ll always be watching you.”
Before you could usher your boyfriend away, he sent you a quick smile before (quickly) scrambling out the door. At the time, it was safe to say that you wouldn’t be hearing from him for a week (but you didn’t know that he would be willing to meet the chaotic boys again because he was that amazing).
All you could do was look at your wicked friends standing in front of you at the entryway.
You shook your head and sighed in defeat. “I’m gonna stay single forever.”
Summary: You’re a studious university who’s on summer break, spending your spare moments with your best friend. After a random statement is thrown into the conversation, you and your friend wonder what it’s like to be in NCT’s position. Little do you know that your idols are simultaneously pondering about your position as a normal college student.
Note: Here’s a simple, sweet scenario that I wrote! Even though it’s simple, I really wanted to post this because it’s a nice, exciting thought to have a crossover conversation... Imagine if you were thinking about the same thing at the same time of your favorite idol! Anyway, I also thought it was important to post this to point towards the life experiences everyone has. While this story doesn’t cover every one of those experiences, I think it covers the bigger topics (youth, hate, missing out on experiences, dreams, etc) that I personally think about a lot, so I hope you enjoy!
As a university student, you have worked your butt off to get good grades and make connections with your professors, upperclassmen, and peers. When you were a high school student, you didn’t care about any of that. In fact, you were the shy one and you got away with it because, hey, it was high school. Fast forward a few years ahead and here you are in the present day, socializing with every human being you could possibly get in touch with. What for, though?
“For what are we grinding this hard?” you wonder out loud, grabbing your nth piece of chicken.
Your friend sighs in agreement, spreads out her long legs over the table you both paid for, and rests them adjacent to the boxes of chicken and coke you ordered over half an hour ago.
Exams are finally over, and you decide to spend the night on the balcony with your roommate, who’s also your best friend, before your two-month internship, which you earned in part to your networking skills. It’s a nice, breezy summer night. It’s one of those nights you want to enjoy in peace and quiet, staring off into the limitless expanse of the dark, but shimmery sky.
You reach out for another piece of chicken when your friend chuckles at something on her phone.
“What?” you ask with your mouth nearly full.
“Nothing, it’s just this really funny meme about NCT,” your friend says with glee. “Very relatable, by the way.”
NCT, one of the hottest international sensations taking the world by storm alongside living legends, BTS and BlackPink, according to news outlets, is a name you haven’t heard in a while. Personally, you used to be an avid fan since the SMRookies days. You kept up with the appearances they made as trainees in EXO’s EXO 90:2014 series, the cameos in music videos (including the ones in EXO 90:2014), the variety show Mickey Mouse Club, and the videos SM Entertainment would randomly post. As time went on, sadly, the determination to be informed of the latest news withered as your priorities changed upon entering your sophomore year of high school. Sure, you heard news here and there and occasionally checked out their social media accounts, but when you entered college, that was a territory you failed to explore. Other than awards and comebacks, you hadn’t heard much of NCT once you had indulged yourself in your studies, and everyone else around you were doing the same thing.
It has been quite some time since you were curious about the idols. Your friend’s sudden comment on them resurfaced old fangirl feelings, luring you into an interesting discussion of NCT, idols, and life in general.
“Another exam to go until graduation, another test to assess loyalty, another test closer to our deathbeds,” you mumble grumpily.
At the abrupt foul tone that consumed your voice, your friend raised her eyebrows questioningly.
“And an internship to be a prospect of a permanent employee for some company to work for others--exciting, right?” you said sarcastically before you took a long sip of ice-cold, refreshing coke, which did nothing to restore your mood.
Understanding what you were getting at, your best friend calmly nodded.
“They’re living their best lives,” she says, referring to NCT.
You let a bitter smile form on your lips as memories about mistreatment and mismanagement whiz past your mind. “Or behind the curtains..."
“They could be just like us,” your friend finishes off. “Tired, overworked, maybe even frustrated.”
A soft smile overtakes your bitter one. “But probably in a different way.”
“What would it be like to be an idol?” your friend sighs dreamingly.
“What would it be like to be a college student?” a silver haired boy ponders aloud.
“Probably fun too,” green haired Jaehyun chimes in. “Engaging with lots of people the first few weeks of school, trying out different clubs, and finding a way to fit in--that all sounds fun to me.”
The optimistic boy joins Haechan in the adventure of grilling meat, switching with Taeyong’s position as a meat griller. While the rest of the boys prepare the dining table, placing the setting with kitchen utensils and side dishes being prepared by Taeyong, Doyoung, and Johnny, Yuta admires the busy streets of the city, listening for the distant sounds of cars honking and pedestrians screaming, with the cool night air breezing past his newly dyed hair. It certainly is one of the best ways he and the members could possibly enjoy the rare moments of freedom.
At the sound of a whistle, Yuta is pulled from his cloud of thoughts, and he looks over his shoulder, nodding to his not-so-secret favorite member of the group at the simple gesture of a hand that urged him to go inside and help bring out the dishes.
“We’ll never experience the glamor of getting dolled up almost everyday,” you state solemnly.
“Or have fans,” your friend pitches in.
“Or see famous celebrities literally every day.”
“Or experience the trainee days, everyone trying to bring everyone down, or haters trying to drag you out once you gain fame.”
You throw a strange glance at your friend for that last statement.
“What?” she says, shrugging nonchalantly. “We need drama in our lives, or else life’s boring.”
Shaking your head, you chuckle at her unique take on an abstract concept.
A moment of silence engulfs the two of you as both of you fall deep in your thoughts.
There was never a quiet moment under the roof of NCT, and tonight is no exception.
“Hey, isn’t the beef really good?” Yuta’s favorite member, Mark, speaks, delighted at the flavors bursting in his mouth.
“Haechan, don’t you dare pull a prank on us with coke and vinegar ever again,” Taeyong scolds the youngest member, recovering from his gagging session, while Johnny and Taeil are still chugging down glasses of water to get rid of the aftertaste. “Is it really necessary to do any of this?”
“Sorry, mom, my hand itched,” the prankster smiles innocently.
“Didn’t Haechan grow a lot?” you bring up, breaking the quietness.
Your friend gulps down her coke before pointing out, “Isn’t he the same age as us?”
Your crane your neck, your head now tilting sideways. “He is?”
“Crazy, isn’t it?” your friend responds. “The majority of the Dreamies are the same age as us.”
“Yuta, didn’t you say something about college?” Mark asks, chowing down pieces of watermelon.
The older boy nods. “Wouldn’t it be fun to experience it? None of us went to college.”
Taeyong uncomfortably shifts on the bench at the mention of college.
Like Yuta mentioned, none of the members of NCT went to college and probably won’t go because it’s not a likely option, considering their packed schedules. He knows that the mere mention of it can bring down the mood because for them, college represents the definition of normalcy, the life of a normal person, and with them not going to college or graduating high school, he doesn’t want them to have a chance to regret or have second thoughts.
“Imagine if they visited our college for one day,” your friend mused.
Extending your short arm to pour yourself another cup of coke, you wheeze between your breaths, “Hey, I bet that the professors would ask for autographs.”
“Yeah, I think we wouldn’t stand a chance in the classes,” Johnny laughs, adding ice to his coke. “They would be too advanced for us to understand anything.”
Yes, Taeyong let the conversation flow. He even joined in on the conversation a few times. He didn’t want to ruin the mood by switching the topic in a way that could be nothing short of a very obvious attempt, and if he didn’t say something, his group members, his family, would notice.
“It would be nice to make new friends, right?” Yuta expresses. “New people to dance with, sing with, do sports with..."
“I feel like they would say that they would want to make new friends, but it all depends on your personality,” you say, tucking your hands behind your head. “I only have you.”
Your friend laughs, replicating your movements. “Loser, I’m on the same boat as you.”
“Wouldn’t it be nice to go to game rooms or comic book stores?” Mark carries on as he stretches his arms out to the sky.
“Wouldn’t it be nice to be your own karaoke room or be able to dance the trends?” you fancy.
“Or be the trend,” your friend adds.
“I just want to sleep,” Johnny murmurs, lazily dragging his feet across the floor to the cushioned bench placed against the white walls. Turning his large body so that his body faces the wall, he hugs an available pillow with his legs and remarks, “Idol or student, you don’t get to sleep that much.”
“It would be nice to work hard for something that you know you want to do,” you dream. “We have no clue what to do in the future. Most of us blindly study and get internships.”
Just then, a bright stream of light passes your eyes, and your eyes widen.
“Did you see that? That was a shooting star!” Jungwoo exclaims, his eyes mirroring the sparkling trail.
Everyone looks up at the sky even though the moment has well passed.
“We’re living under the same sky as them, so how are our worlds so different?” you say without much energy, staring at the now dark sky. “I bet they were pitted against each other at some point in their trainee lives, but here they are in this world. Years of friendship, what would that be like?”
Slightly offended, your friend sits up from her resting position. “Hey, we’ve been friends since middle school.”
“Do you remember the time when you were young and saw your favorite artists on tv?” Doyoung reminisces.
“They’re the reasons why I became one,” Haechan concurs.
Taeyong thoughtfully fixates his eyes on where the shooting star once was, his arms acting accordingly.
“They were so young when they were casted,” you whisper. “It’s kind of sad when you think about it.”
Another wave of silence overwhelms you. Your friend spares another look at you and watches you stretch your hands to the sky, hands shaped as if you are taking a snapshot of your view.
She responds with a quiet voice of her own, “Some of them didn’t even plan on being an idol.”
Taeyong’s hands retract to his sides. “I remember when I first met you guys. I’m really glad that we have each other.”
The sappy moment comes to an abrupt end when Johnny’s snores take over.
You turn your head over to your friend who is fast asleep.
Eyes averting to the inky sky once again, you contemplate quietly, “I wonder what they’re doing now.”
Meanwhile, the boys are trying to stuff a sock in Johnny’s mouth to muffle his snores. Taeyong, not participating, stays in the background and enjoys the last bit of their night of freedom.
Summary: A simple, yet warm scenario in which you and Jaehyun share a rare, awake moment together after a long day at work.
Note: Can you imagine what it would be like to hug your idols? I can’t... I literally can’t handle my breath! Here’s a (somewhat) short, light-hearted oneshot for you!
It’s another chill day at the NCT house. That--NCT--was the name the boys called themselves for some weird reason you couldn’t comprehend. You, as an honorary member and girlfriend to none other than Mr. Jung Jaehyun, another name you never understood why your boyfriend came up with when he had a perfectly gorgeous name, Yoonoh, almost always slept over. Literally, you would invite yourself to the house unannounced and would sleep. Today, however, is a different story.
Your boss contacted you an hour earlier, rushing on about something having to do with a sudden meeting with the board members after the evening. You had a feeling that the boring meeting would last a few hours, hours that would feel endless, but you reluctantly yielded your time to stay employed.
Checking the time, you calculate that your boyfriend wouldn’t be home until another hour. Although the meeting is an important one, you figure that you time to read one of the newest novels released by your favorite author. Snuggled up in cozy layers of blankets, you open the novel to the page you left the night festival-themed bookmark Jaehyun had gotten you on your guys’ trip to Japan, and the reading commences. Page after page, you are fascinated and in awe of the author’s way of enticing you into the world of thrilling adventure. Page after page after page, you are more awake than you were the previous page. Page after page after page after page, you forget the time and don’t hear the nearing footsteps trudging along the staircase.
After a long, treacherous day at work, for Jaehyun, seeing you is his only remedy, but to his dismay, here you are, cozied up with your new book with that cute expression he fell in love with the first day he laid eyes on you. Although you look adorable, he resists the urge to interrupt your reading session because he knows of the storm the inner bookworm in you would release if he--or anyone for that matter--got in the way of your reading. That is a sight no one, absolutely no one, wants to see.
Admiring the way your eyes shine with curiosity and the effect of your concentrated eyebrows knit together, he’s struck by the luminous glow you radiate simply from reading a book. He gets distracted by your undeniable presence that he trips over your guys’ laundry basket. That little act surely gets your attention, and Jaehyun immediately scrambles out of the mess he has made once he sees your furrowed eyebrows. Your expression softens at his cute attempt to scurry, and you forget the disturbance he caused to your time with your novel.
When you call him over with your arms wide open (of course with your novel still in your hands), Jaehyun internally sighs in relief, glad that you aren’t ticked off. His long arms embrace yours, and you two calmly exchange words, asking each other how the other’s day went.
Soon, Jaehyun’s reactions hush to a light breath. You look up and find him fast asleep. He wasn’t joking when he told you that his day was exhaustingly horrible.
Lately, with your promotion as head manager and his increasing workload, it has been hard to share moments together other than right before bed. Thankfully for you two, this experience has purely made you and Jaehyun appreciate each other’s presence more.
You leave your sweet taste on his jawline, whispering “sleep tight”, and find your eyes drooping too...
After who knows how long, you twist and turn in Jaehyun’s embrace, trying to shut out the whispers you hear. At first, you thought the voices were from your dream, but you soon realize that that is far from the case. With half-open eyelids, you find yourself surrounded by the boys, the boys who call themselves NCT, behind their phones. When it dawns on you that they’re taking photos of you and Jaehyun, you kick your legs at them, causing Jaehyun to stir and eventually wake up. While you try to shoo them away, you feel his grip on you tighten. The boys, your terrible simpleton friends, are simply in awe. They refuse to stop the mini photoshoot, and you sense Jaehyun’s growing agitation. Afraid that he would burst, you rub his arms with your thumbs in an attempt to soothe him.
Jaehyun, then, in a deep, raspy voice, groans, “If you don’t leave in the next five seconds, you’re gonna get it.”
That threat surely does the trick--it even works on the older ones. With a soft smile emerging from your lips, you tilt your head up and compliment your trustworthy boyfriend, leaving light kisses on his jawline.
“Well done,” you purr.
And Jaehyun’s response? Dangerously smooth.
“You didn’t leave,” he whispers into your ear, sending a whirl of excitement down your body.
You let out a light chuckle and rest your free hand on his chest (the other hand is, of course, occupied by your novel). “Hey, I have to get ready for a meeting, you know?”
And Jaehyun’s response? He refuses to inch away.
“What did I say if you didn’t leave?” he growls.
With that, you willingly--emphasize on willingly--put down your precious novel on the nightstand.
…
Back downstairs, the poor boys crowd the kitchen island as the oldest, Taeil, gets out ice cream with the help of the youngest, Haechan, grabbing the utensils.
“Whenever we come home, all they do is sleep,” Mark says with a small pout, eyeing the pint of ice cream in Taeil’s hands.
“I bet their passion died off and all they have left is trust and security,” Jungwoo laughs, referring to David Schwimmer’s quote in the first season of Friends. “And they obviously are secure enough to reveal their annoying habits, like snoring or cuddling.”
“It’s probably because they’re a boring old couple,” Haechan adds, obviously upset that he was threatened and kicked out of your guys’ room.
Summary: The boys unexpectedly find themselves enchanted by the same girl.
Note: This is a short story I thought I would put on here to simply spread a random way people find beauty. Beauty is about what makes you you, including your imperfections. It’s just how beauty strikes the eye, often arbitrarily, that lures people in. With that said, don’t feel like you have to go all out, following Youtube videos to “fix” your flaws or searching potentially dangerous stuff on Google. That is not the intention of this scene.
At first glance, no one thought she was beautiful. They all agreed that she was another plain looking face out in the sea. In fact, the girl herself never thought of herself as a beautiful person, but she hoped that someone would. She hoped that someone in the world—at least one person among 7.8 billion people—would look at her the way she would look at beautiful people, longing to be like them and envying their undeniable beauty at first glance. She knew that was a far-fetch wish because she knew she wasn’t attractive and that she didn’t possess features that people immediately found to be alluring. When people look at others with obviously attractive features, they think “wow, that jawline” or “wow, those curves”. At the other end of that spectrum, when people look at others who don’t necessarily look attractive at first, they think nothing of them. She knew that. She was well aware of that. She partook of that. It was a silent agreement made by everyone, including the most amiable of people.
That was the silent agreement her friends concurred with. Years flew by, and their thoughts remained constant. It was at an unexpected event that caused them to make a double-take.
For a year, all they could talk about was the vacation trip they were planning since the beginning of the new school year. (Yes, school boredom and stress caught to them that quickly.) On the night of their flight to their long-awaited trip, they were ecstatic: music was blasted on, confetti was thrown here and there, drinks were chugged down in no time... Unfortunately, the party had to end shortly.
Two brutal hours of waiting for an announcement on the update of their delayed flight and freaking out passengers had the friends officially drained of excitement. Now remember the talk about “no one thought she was beautiful” and “people do this and that”? Yeah, scratch that.
Three hours in and the girl’s hair became slightly greasy--something she hated. Somehow, the others found that attractive: the way she flipped her hair to the side, causing her hair to look amazingly disheveled; the way she would sigh to herself, yet her eyes masked her true feelings in front of her friends; the way she would smile at her friends, encouraging them to stay strong. It was all stunningly beautiful. She was breathtaking. But how was it possible that no one found this beauty at first glance? Were they going crazy to the point that they found their long-term friend attractive? Maybe, but it was also quite possible that the three-hour fatigue was finally catching up to them. Whatever it was, this revelation was messing with the boys’ minds. She was their friend and that was that because, at first glance, that was what they agreed on.
