yikes.

I'm Rebecca. She/Her. ADHD mess.

[massdefibrillation]

watching Nimona for the first time since starting my first readthrough of Stormlight Archive and Ballister/Ambrosius is giving me Kaladin/Adolin vibes bigtime

[massdefibrillation]

oof

[massdefibrillation]

me during my first ever read of Oathbringer: "oooooh I wonder what role Moash will play now that he's free from the Parshendi army and will be in Kholinar at the same time as Kaladin and company...? OH OH it'll be sad but I really hope that he stops trying to get revenge and saves Kaladin and Elhokar's life during the fight and then sacrifices himself as one last noble act so that everyone can escape, and Kal will forgive him for his wrongs on the Shattered Plains and grieve him properly after escaping and basically Moash will have died saving the day and it'll be a beautiful and tragic redemption arc!

me finishing part 3 of Oathbringer last night:

[daenerys-stormborn]

— Game of Thrones, 5.07 "The Gift"

[lovepuzzle]

mention my favorite character and i do this

[jkottke]

The Color Game. “Humans can’t reliably recall colors. This is a simple game to see how good (or bad) you are at it. We’ll show you five colors, then you’ll try and recreate them.” I scored 39/50 but got a perfect score on one color.

[shadowvalkyrie]

Remembering is less of an issue than navigating the colour slider, tbh.

[rudbeckiasunflower]

[andietries]

I took it twice, I have trouble with brown shades apparently

[kaijutegu]

This is a fun game and I like it

[massdefibrillation]

Have had a LOT of health stuff on my mind for the past year and I've had a lot of struggles and I've been thinking a lot about the future and worrying about what my life is gonna be like for the next lil while and I'm at the age/stage where I need to have a bit of a think about the whole having kids thing etc etc etc

So I'm in this headspace where I'm thinking a lot about my body and my genes and my ADHD and all of this stufffff

And now

I've just found out that my great grandmother had bipolar disorder and she took her own life around the time that me and my sister were born so not only is all there all this family trauma, but there's also this very hereditary mental illness in the family and I have ADHD so the risk of having bipolar is also higher... And it's not that I'm convincing myself that I have it BUT now it's just another thing that I feel like I need to be aware of when it comes to my health uuuuuuuggghhhhhh

And I wish I could just quickly and easily speak to an expert and be like "hey, do you think this is something I should be concerned about, does it seem like I could have this?" and then they could just tell me yes or no and I'd know what to do next but it doesn't work like that????

[cassiebnuy]

i hate holiday music so much "giddyup jinglehorse pick up your feet" has the mouthfeel of somethign my homophobic high school coach would yell at me on track day

[cassiebnuy]

its that time again

[massdefibrillation]

as a Doctor Who fan AND a Gelphie fan, Wicked: For Good was deeply traumatising

[suzy-queued]

[walnutmistjamie]

Roy Kent and Jamie Tartt Man City (S2E08)

[skyrigel]

🟠_🟠🔨

[massdefibrillation]

just finished an amazing romantasy series and now I'm sitting here with a massive glass of red wine and the AO3 filters set to Explicit, opening fic after fic in new tabs and knowing I have the time to read as many as I like tonight and lemme tell you it just does not get any better than this

[massdefibrillation]

Spoilers for Kingdom of Ash ahead:

I'm halfway through my first read of KoA, and just got to the part where Manon asks Dorian to stay with her instead of going to Morath, where she bares her heart to him, offers alliance... and then she wakes up to an empty bed and "knows" that he's left in the night anyway, without even saying goodbye.

And it has wrecked me, I am absolutely crying my eyes out?? Really, really didn't expect to care so much about these two, didn't expect to feel so strongly about Manon's emotions, didn't expect to feel so devastated on her behalf, but wow wow wow. I am hooked I am obsessed I am so happy and so MISERABLE about their relationship god damn

so many tears.

also they are the hottest couple imo

[massdefibrillation]

me almost halfway through my first read of Crown of Midnight: "why can't I find ANY cute n sexy Celaena/Chaol fics or fanart, they seem so good together??"

me a few pages later: "...oh. right. that's why..."

[massdefibrillation]

wish I had friends that I could text after a big fight with my husband so that I could vent and feel sad and be supported but like...

all my friends are kinda (or very) mentally ill and need space and boundaries and soft vibes, or they don't really check messages often, and I love them dearly and I know i reap what I sow and it's mostly my fault it's this way but I sometimes just wish I had a bestie I could just seek out easily in these moments when I feel like shit

(and where I feel like I'm right and need someone to say so)

[pocketss]

distressing things to say to your friends