Disclosure
Upon rolling over to his back, he laid still, heart furiously racing with rapture as he was trying to catch his breath. He did intend to reach out to her, both physically and verbally, however, she was faster to do so and gently slipped her hand over his own to envelope it before finally sliding her fingers between his own, which was a gesture that immediately warmed his heart and made him turn his head to the side to eagerly check on her, only to find that her eyes had been closed. Nevertheless, the radiating joy and immense satisfaction had been written all over her face, which made him smile with contentment as he regarded her silently for only a few seconds, for she declared her love for him once again and he felt the urge to not only assure her of his own feelings, but somehow reciprocate the gesture too. "I love you too" He breathed out softly, then curled his fingers to somewhat secure hers in his loose hold so he could lift her hand and bring it up to his face to press a lingering kiss on the back of it. "I always have and I always will... no matter what" He confessed with the utmost honesty, then brushed his lips against her knuckles, not seeing any point in denying that even when she wasn't his- even when he probably shouldn't have, he loved her all the same. "Would you have imagined... - weeks ago, that we'd end up in this bed... *laughs breathlessly, wrapped up in blissful sentimentality, then releases her hand to turn onto his side* If I didn't know better, I'd be convinced I'm dreaming... and what sorrow would the morning bring then" He finished his monologue in a different way he'd planned to, subconsciously bringing light to the fact that he did have dreams in which they were still together as well as to the dismay he'd dealt with each time he woke up and was faced with the mournful reality. "But you're here, Cissa... we've found our way back to each other" He pointed out with a soft smile as if to question his own perception and truly make sure it was all real, placing his hand flat to rest on her smooth stomach before sliding it over to her side, loosely draping his arm over her as he scooted closer.
Narcissa's eyes remained closed for a few moments longer, a peaceful smile resting upon her lips as she listened to the familiar cadence of his voice. Even now, after everything they had endured, it still had the same effect on her. That feeling of blissful peace. The feel of his fingers intertwined with hers and the kiss upon her knuckles, it all drew a soft sigh from her. When she finally opened her eyes, she turned her head toward him. The tenderness she found there nearly stole her breath. At his question, a faint laugh escaped her. "Weeks ago," she repeated softly. "Lucius, weeks ago I was still trying to convince myself that you were impossible." The smile that followed was fond and impossibly warm, letting him know her words were meant to be lighthearted. "And yet here we are." She shifted closer when he draped his arm around her, naturally fitting herself against his side as though to be close to one another was not close enough. Her fingertips began to trace little circles across his chest. "But no," she admitted after a thoughtful pause. "I wouldn't have imagined this. I did always hope...that one day...well, there were moments when I allowed myself to wonder. Briefly. Usually when I was alone." She shook her head faintly. "Then I would tell myself not to be foolish." Narcissa paused again and then continued her thoughts aloud, "Some dreams can be fragile. Hope is fragile...but what we have now doesn't feel fragile." Narcissa leaned forward and pressed a lingering kiss to his cheek. "It feels real...earned." For a moment she simply studied him, her blue eyes searching his face as her expression grew gentler. "And we did find our way back to each other. But do you know what I find most remarkable?" A playful glimmer finally returned to her gaze, "That after everything that happened, after all the years, all the arguments, all the opportunities we've had to drive one another completely mad...I still prefer falling asleep beside you to anyone else in the world." Drawing a little closer, she rested her forehead against his chest and sighed happily, "So no, my love. I don't think you're dreaming. Though if you are, kindly don't wake up. I'd rather stay right here next to you for as long as I possibly can."
Naturally, he understood just what she meant by 'impossible', however, his mind immediately registered the different meaning of those exact words together and he couldn't help, but arch his brows and widen his eyes in feigned shock, finding the made-up implication of her, allegedly claiming that he was an impossible person, rather funny in that context. Softened by her own innocent and fond smile, he couldn't keep up the illusion for long enough and started chuckling at his own silliness. "Honestly, I am... sometimes" He commented, not truly expecting her to either deny or confirm his statement, so instead of adding anything else, he grinned at her and planted a kiss on the top of her head as soon as she scooted closer to him, then listened to her curiously. Despite his own experience - that she missed her and thought about her more frequently than he ever admitted to anyone -, her confession about having vain hopes of that nature as well as reoccurring thoughts about him did surprise him and left him with mixed feelings; on the one hand, he felt sad for her for having similar struggles as him, wishing to be together and assuming it would be impossible, but on the other, her unconditional love and her resilience warmed his very soul. He was doing his very best to stay silent and simply let her share what she wished to, however, by the time she mentioned that she instructed herself not to be foolish, his heart was overflowing with emotion and he was physically unable not to make a sound, so he let out a sympathetic 'aww' and began lightly caressing her side as to express his adoration and his sentimental approval of the situation without cutting her off. As she went on and elaborated on her idea about dreams and hopes, then drawn the conclusion of what they had now didn't feel fragile, but was real and earned, he felt his throat tighten as the familiar sting of guilt pierced through his chest. "It is real" He assured her softly after a longer moment - for that was true - then released a heavy sigh, fighting against the truth and the emotions that desperately wanted to surface, threatening to ruin the mood. Not only the urge to come clean he had been fighting, but his expressions too. He needed to keep a straight face and hold back a care-worn frown while he held her gaze, which in itself felt like a betrayal. He didn't want to hurt her. He never wanted to, and while he knew it would be inevitable, he also did realise that keeping the secret for any longer would further aggravate the situation, especially as they'd supposed to have started with a fresh page. "Hm?" He hummed back to her question on what she finds remarkable and mustered a soft smile, though her glimmering eyes probably didn't reflect in his own clouded ones, for he'd already been distracted and consumed by his own thoughts. She'd said everything he could wish for... even more, yet, the words that meant to caress his soul and bring him comfort had only disturbed him. She didn't deserve to be fooled like that and he had to take responsibility for his decisions - even if it meant he'd alienate her. "Hope is worse" He stated gloonily and out of the blue, referring back to what she'd previously said, completely ignoring her affectionate joke and the rest she'd elaborated on after, which he struggled to pay attention to anyways. "Dreams- you can't control, but undying hope... it's a conscious decision... a self-inflicted torment" He continued, almost in a sinister way, blankly staring at a point somewhere above her shoulder, but holding onto her just as tightly as before. "Narcissa. I can't- *shuts his eyes tightly as if to gather some courage and hide his regret, but pushes on* I haven't been honest with you... There's something you must know" He stated with a heavy heart, scared for her and for himself.