Dispatches from the Hellsite

I'm here because Twitter is probably dead. Buckle up my friends

[mastracola]

It's my 18 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

How the fuck is this even possible

[pocketss]

widehead

[charl0ttan]

i dont like it when the task avoidance gets to the scary part

[lucy-harker]

NOSFERATU (2024) dir. Robert Eggers The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 (2011) dir. Bill Condon

[therealatri-blog]

New track alert! 🚨 It's a bleepy bass heavy electro joint with some big vocoder! Had a lot of fun making this one and learned a ton as well.

[thiefking]

actually you know what that's exactly it i would rather someone add 5 parantheticals after every sentence than use tone indicators it's 1. accomplishing SO much more in terms of clarity 2. extremely funny to look at depending on how they're used

[thiefking]

observe:

"is this real? /gen" — i thought /gen meant "general" for ages. i would not be able to understand this on first sight a few years ago and is thus ineffective

"is this real? (genuine question)" — i fully understand this without issue

"is this real? (genuine question) (can't tell) (very realistic) (looks real) (scary) (photoshop?)" — is not only incredibly clear it's also very funny to read all of these thoughts stapled together while also in their own parentheses. it's also the most useful because now i can actually address all parts of what they are asking me with as much specificity as BOTH of us need

[lady-sanguis]

parentheses my beloved (they are for bonus thoughts) (and questions) ( and sidetracks) (like a 2nd conversation on top of the first)

[mastracola]

As someone who uses parentheticals all the time (and especially professionally) this speaks to me.

[therealatri-blog]

New remix up! Hope you like glitchy breaks. SWOUP

[therealatri-blog]

Made a remix of a SPARK track! It's a booty shaker!

[botanyshitposts]

Nothing like inhaling massive amounts of plant semen all summer

*grabs you by the shoulders* listen don’t get it twisted you CANNOT get it twisted. those are plant penises, NOT the sperm. once the pollen lands on the female structure in question, THEN it germinates and makes the sperm. do you know how many college biology students are threatened by this misinformation each year?? how many fall victim to the classic blunder??

[mastracola]

So what you’re telling me is that pollen is plant dicks?

[therealatri-blog]

Posting this again cause I think my account was flagged.

I made a track with lots of Destiny 2 sounds and sampled Clovis Bray! I had a lot of fun making this and learned a lot in the process, it's also my first attempt at a video. Super basic but I'm happy with it. Let me know what you think!

[mastracola]

Listen to my badass friends cool music please.

[intj-confessions]

Tread here.

[toothsalad]

The best part is OP got fired because their boss asked why they weren’t “incorporating blockchain technology” into the video switcher they were building and OP straight up said “you have no idea what you’re talking about” and went to lunch

[mastracola]

As someone who is getting laid off in October this year because they’re offshoring, this tickled me deeply.

[h3avylove-deactivated20150526]

becoming an adult cheat sheet!

learn to coupon

what to do when you can’t afford therapy

cleaning your bathroom

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

stress management

quick fix meals

find out if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

resume workshop

organize your closet

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

what you should bring to a doctor’s appointment

what’s a mortgage?

how to pick a health insurance plan

hotlines list

your first gynecology appointment

what to do if the cops pull you over

things to have in your car in case of emergency

my moving out masterpost

how to make friends as an adult (video)

how to do taxes (video)

recommended reads for surviving adulthood (video)

change a flat tire (video)

how to do laundry (video)

opening a bank account (video)

laundry cheat sheet

recipes masterpost

tricks to help you sleep more

what the fuck should you make for dinner?

where should you go for drinks?

alcohol: know your limits

easy makeup tips

find seat maps for your flight

self-defense tips

prevent hangovers

workout masterpost

how to write a check

career builder

browse careers

birth control information

financial management software & app (free)

my mental health masterpost

my college applications masterpost

how to jumpstart a car

sex ed masterpost

[sirflodgypodgy]

reblogging for whomever needs it

[i-am-a-fish]

the target audience for this post is silly little guys

[mastracola]

It me

[mmmairon]

2h practice featuring Shadowheart

[mastracola]

The “innocently making an AO3 account to read some fics and fluff of a game you really enjoyed recently and a ship you were overjoyed became canon to reading full-blown smut” pipeline is way shorter than I expected. I guess I should not have expected any less when I became active on tumblr again.

[alex-0-0-0-0-0-0]

[vikingfunerals]

the commodification of friendship is the most annoying thing to come out of the internet in ages. like actually i love to break this to you but you're supposed to help your friends move even if it's hard work. or stay up with them when they're sad even if you're gonna lose sleep. you're supposed to listen to their fears and sorrows even if it means your own mind takes on a little bit of that weight. that's how you know that you care. they will drive you to the airport and then you will make them soup when they're sick. you're supposed to make small sacrifices for them and they are supposed to do that for you. and there's actually gonna be rough patches for both of you where the balance will be uneven and you will still be friends and it will not be unhealthy and they will not be abusive. life is not meant to be an endless prioritization of our own comfort if it was we would literally never get anywhere ever. jesus.

[diomdes]

me, as i force a dollar bill into the self-checkout machine: thats right…..good boy……vore president washington

[diomdes]

im begging all of you to stop reblogging th is

[stripedturtlenecksweater]

Your actions have consequences