[duwangarang-deactivated20190419]

i… i don’t know what to say…

[creativelolita]

what the fuck is that second thing

[neonprotagonist]

republican presidential candidate ted cruz

[hockeylvr42]

It looks like farquad mixed with a spider

[mathematigoaliegifted]

It looks like the zodiac killer

[beeftea78-deactivated20200113]

One of my history professors is this scarily intense German guy, and today we were talking about the peer reviewing process and how vicious some academics can get, so I casually asked him what the worst review he’d ever received was.

He became very stony-faced, looked off into the distance and said, completely deadpan and in his thick accent:

“It does not matter. They are dead now.”

I think my professor has killed a man.

[coolboyclub-deactivated20140628]

Don’t trust white boys named Hunter

[sexhaver]

my best friend in pre-k was a white kid named Hunter and one time i invited him over to my house and gave him an ice cream sandwich and he ate it without even unwrapping it, paper and all

[mathematigoaliegifted]

Exactly

[cloverclark-deactivated20180312]

It’s ironic.

When I worked in fast food for minimum wage, they would yell at us and lecture us about “stealing” fries and burgers (while we had to throw out TONS of food every day) as though the giant billion-dollar corporations of McDonald’s and Sonic couldn’t afford to give their employees something to eat (while not even paying us a living wage).

Now I work at an upscale restaurant (it’s fancy, like celebrities eat there fairly often) and not only do I make WAY better money but they give us 2 free meals a day (eaten on the clock) and they’re GOOD. Today I got baked cod, spring rolls, rice pilaf, stir fry, and mashed potatoes and eggplant. Oh, and free espresso and juice. From this restaurant owned by a local man who is in no way a billionaire.

Obviously money is not the issue, valuing your employees as people is.

[idiod]

[yamino]

[superheroes-and-computers]

Ok tumblr, what’s the answer?

[hockeylvr42]

14

[mathematigoaliegifted]

@hockeylvr42 I get 16

[memewhore]

[charlesoberonn]

This image is way funnier considering that this is Egypt and this snow was the first snow they got in 112 years.

[commongayboy-deactivated2018082]

[mathematigoaliegifted]

The oracle

[heimaey]

[mathematigoaliegifted]

“Where is the library?”

[mathematigoaliegifted]

*tumblr crashes at 3 in the morning* Me: wow haha this is like a sign that I should go to sleep or something wow *reopens tumblr*

[ka1to-remade-deactivated2019081]

[mathematigoaliegifted]

This site makes me so angry sometimes wtf

[borkyno-deactivated20160330]

i see all these british memes and i think we need to make a list of american memes

flo from progressive

the midwest

how big is alaska

jeopardy review games

spIRIT WEEK

[magneticthood-blog]

jake from statefarm

[spookybuddy]

it’s not car insurance, it’s all state

“mayhem is coming”

“nothing could replace brad”

kahoot

[skygenders]

BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL

thanks obama

idk my bff jill

kids who take kickball way to seriously

[odin-n-out]

HI, BILLY MAYS HERE

target [t-are-j-ey]

texas

1-800-steamer

threatening to move to Canada

[tiny-bubble-blog2]

•Shirley temple DVD set •IT MAKES MY PATIO 20 DEGREES COOLER!!

[lledxela]

making fun of east coast/south when they can’t handle snow

[femme-fiction-deactivated202004]

Dodgeball in gym class

Rectangular school pizza

[littleturtle99]

SHAMWOW!

[femme-fiction-deactivated202004]

GET CONNECTED FOR FREE! WITH EDUCATION CONNECTION!

[glass-wave]

IT MAKES YOUR PATIO 20 DEGREES COOLER!!

[borkyno-deactivated20160330]

this is so aggressively american i an feel the patriotism

[mathematigoaliegifted]

As an American I feel that it is my duty to reblog this.

[hirschest]

[hailsithis14-deactivated2015101]

Everytime I ask myself why I even got Tumblr in the first place,everybody loves to remind me.

[hulking-godless-child-beast]

#THAT WENT FROM 0 TO 100 REAL QUICK

YOU WERE NOT KIDDING

[surprisebitch]

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

[borkyno-deactivated20160330]

have i told you guys about the time that i classically conditioned my kindergarten class

[borkyno-deactivated20160330]

I got like 4 anons asking about this so I guess I didn’t:

     omg. okay, so basically, I was a “gifted kid” which was code for fucken nerd ass bitch, so i would constantly just stare off into space during class while everyone else was tryna figure out what the fuck our teacher was tryna say. Anyway, I was learning about chemistry and biology outside of school(i know what a fucking nerd amirite ladies), and my dad got me a book that talked about all these famous psychological experiments.

    So chapter one was, would you have guessed it, Pavlov’s dog. I thought it my be fun to try something to that extent with my classmates. Now, keep in mind, being a nerdy ass brown kid in a school full of white ppl meant that I wasn’t exactly popular, and no one really talked to me in class or cared what I was doing.

   Everyday, at 9:45 am, our teacher would announce that it was snacktime, and everyone would fucking sprint to their cubbies to grab their lunchboxes like it was the goddamn hunger games. Kindergarten kids didn’t really have a concept of time, so i used this to my advantage. At 9:45 as my teacher would walk up to announce snacktime, I would knock on my desk really quickly three times. It was rly subtle, and I wasn’t sure that it would work.

   So after two or three weeks, I decided to have some fun. Thirty minutes after school began at like 8:30 or something, I tapped knocked on the desk. Half the class turned their heads and looked straight at the cubbies. 3 boys got up and were about to run to get their lunchbox. One girls stomach started growling REALLY loudly. The teacher had to take 5 minutes to get everyone to calm down and one kid started crying because he thought it was snacktime and he was so shocked and destroyed.

   Realizing that I had basically dog trained the whole class, I burst out laughing so hard I fell out of my chair and cut my head on the tile floor and got sent home early because I was laughing so hard they thought I had a concussion or something. When I explained what happened to my dad he left the room, but I could hear him losing it in the hallway. 

   So everytime now that I learn about classical conditioning in my Neuroscience classes, I have to fight to keep a straight face

[idle-darkness]

Dear everyone

If it exists, someone is offended by it.

[hockeylvr42]

*alien in very distant galaxy* well then

[mathematigoaliegifted]

Does anything really exist though? Prove that anything is real…

[hockeylvr42]

*same alien in very distant galaxy* bitch make me

[mathematigoaliegifted]

*different alien from a different very distant galaxy* fuck u same alien in very distant galaxy shut up

[hockeylvr42]

*starts intergalactic war*

[mathematigoaliegifted]

*grabs popcorn*

[chylerwest-deactivated20140722]

[toastbutteregg]

I love them so much

[mathematigoaliegifted]

The best show. Forever. No debate. (As long as you don't watch the last episode)

[just-shower-thoughts]

If everything in the universe suddenly got 100 times bigger, at the exact same time, there’d be no way of noticing.

[hockeylvr42]

Calm down Plato, I only like to question my existence after 5pm

[mathematigoaliegifted]

But if you think about it, it’s always after 5 pm.

[hockeylvr42]

STOP

[mathematigoaliegifted]

Good times.