After a nauseating transition, the two were now in a park, one that he recognized as belonging to Ashbourne, but not one that he really felt any ties to, as it wasn’t a convenient distance from his apartment. Still, it made him feel more at ease than the street where he’d presumably been murdered, so it was a step in the right direction.
He walked next to her, and couldn’t help but laugh at her words. Calloway had never considered himself a strong anything, and if asked, he’d never say he was a strong soul. “I’m afraid of everything,” He told her frankly. “I mean, you saw the way I nearly lost it with the blood. I’ve been called paranoid, nervous, and skittish, but never strong. You’ve got to have misjudged me.” He thought about her offer for a moment, though it really didn’t feel all that dire to him, surprisingly. He still didn’t feel like any of this was real, which he supposed any recently dead person would say, but there was something to his memory that felt artificial, like it had been tampered with.
He had always assumed that his ‘other side’ would be hell, or something like it, he never doubted that, but he wondered if Matilda’s job would be worse. He didn’t know what possible punishment could be on the other side of the light, but for Calloway, regularly dealing with blood and gore sounded about as bad as it could get.
“Before I decide, or cross over, or whatever, I have a question.” He didn’t give her the option to respond, and asked anyway. “This doesn’t feel real, and like, not in the ‘I can’t believe this happened to me’ sense. It feels artificial and rather staged. How can you prove any of this is real? How do you know any of this is real?”
“ Well, it takes some training of course. it isn’t like I am going to throw you on an assignment right away or anything like that.” she reasoned with him. “ it takes time, compassion and patience. Something you have plenty of. We are always harder on ourselves then we need to be.” she explained to him with a faint smile as she walked with him. She had been in his shoes once. It was a long time ago. But to her it felt like just yesterday. Time doesn’t pass so much as just no exist when you were dead.
“ You know, sometimes I still am not sure if it is real. But this watch helps. It is something given to all grim reapers. It grounds us to reality a bit but also helps us pass through it easier.” she explained. “ I can’t really prove any of it is real. I can show you past memories of yours, go back to that time when you were a kid and you scraped your knee or when your family got it’s first pet. I can do stuff like that. but I can’t push a button and just magically make it all feel real. “ she explained. “ It is real. I am real, you are real and this is all real. But it won’t ever feel like it. I can’t speak for what’s on the other side. I chose to do this job and gave up going to that side for now.” she explained. “ Once you cross there is no turning back.”
