MOD

Musings of [a] Dreamer.

[maudyayunda]

My Fear of Flying

Given that I fly a reasonable amount every month, my fear of flying has proven to be quite an annoyance. It makes it hard to sleep or enjoy my food while thousands of feet above sea level.

Look, I’ve done my fair share of rationalization. I know that turbulence is technically a good thing: it means that the plane is functioning the way it should and it is merely responding to movements of the wind etc. I also know that there are hundreds of other planes flying right at that moment. I also know that you are more likely to die from a car crash than from a plane crash.

I guess that’s why they call it an “irrational” fear: there may a million reasons not to be scared - and yet: shakes, bounces and turbulences get my heart rate going and I instinctively reach out to the person next to me, or at the very least shut my eyes in denial.

But recently, I’ve realized that a little bit of fear gives that tiny reminder of just how much I value life. Getting off of a plane always gives me a feeling of relief - and in that moment I am immensely grateful. I suddenly want to begin everything afresh and explore some new horizon.

Up there in the skies, there truly is a silver lining in every cloud. Every ounce of fear reflects a genuine love of life and that is a wonderful epiphany I share with you today. 💙

[maudyayunda]

what motivates you to do what you do? to always push yourself and believe that it will all be worth it in the end?

I think maybe the best way of doing anything is to value the process itself. If we do so, we no longer need to worry about achieving the desired result, having gone through the process itself is enough to make it worth it.

[maudyayunda]

Because some things don't work out the way you want them to.

Sometimes things don't work out. Sometimes you sink in perpetual frustration from the waves of negative energy around you. Sometimes there can simply be a phase in your life when plans don't go through, and the sentences in your mind end with a question mark. And that's okay. They tell you it will all be okay eventually - and that sounds nice but is hardly ever useful to hear at your lowest point. So what does one do? Allow yourself to be sad. Relish in disappointment. Give room for it to linger for a while. Then from it, grow and find new positive energy to harness.

[maudyayunda]

head or heart?

I must admit, this question tickled me so much I couldn’t wait to answer it.

It has rung in my head so many times; a persistent nag that drove me mad in my early teens, easing now to an occassional whisper.

It seems to presume that there is a strict dichotomy between what your head tells you to do, and what your heart demands: that often they go at odds with one another. While the head is characterized as “rational”, the heart represents “instinct” and “emotion”.

In universal terms, I will never be able to choose one to apply in unconditional precedence. Simply because, I don’t find either one superior to the other. Not every rational decision is compassionate or natural. And likewise, not everything wild and exciting is practical. This I’ve learned from my past tumbles.

Similarly, nor do I think that in a case-by-case basis, we necessarily have to choose to follow one and not the other. I think that this is a matter of blurring the lines of this so called ‘heart-head dichotomy": in other words, the rational-instinctive distinction. I argue that it is possible to rationalise an action as something that 'your heart wants’. An action initiatied by the heart does not imply irrationality. Choosing to follow your heart can be a rational act, as long as you’ve weighed up every option equally.

So my answer to this question is twofold. If the head and heart are assumed to be mutually exclusive, I would choose neither. But neither am I dissolving the two as one and disregarding the different decision-making forces they symbolize. I am simply pondering on the fact that the answer to the question is far from straightforward.

Apologies for not having a clear-cut answer. The philosopher in me just won’t let me.

♥, Mod

[maudyayunda]

whats ur opinion abt someone who has tried her/his best, but dont succeed? extremely need ur opinion. this time its really hard for me. 💔, thankyou

Let’s first cheer you up with the following quote: 

‘Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.’ - Winston Churchill

So keep going! 

Besides, I find that if someone has truly tried ‘her/his best’, then she/he has at least gained success of another form: be it the success of accepting failure, of perseverance, etc. As is the case with many things, it’s how you define the term that matters. So give yourself some credit for having tried your best, I’m sure you’ll get there some day! 

                                                                                                                  ♥, Mod

[maudyayunda]

"Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."- Mark Twain

[maudyayunda]

Characterize people by their actions and you'll never be fooled by their words.

[maudyayunda]

How's college life at oxford for you? I want to study abroad too someday but my mum thinks i will not be able to handle it. Thanks :)

College life is great. Some perks: you get to learn more about yourself, take less things for granted, and open up your mind through crossing paths with individuals from different backgrounds. 

It was also really hard for my mom to see me off, but I think it’s understandably difficult for any parent to let go. In my case, I started off by showing my mom that I understood her concerns. Instead of being on the defence about it, I acknowledged her reluctance and fears. Then I sought to prove her otherwise. So maybe start taking up more responsibilities while you’re here? This should give you a little taste of what’s to come, while simultaneously convince your parents that you can make it on your own. I promise, if you’re anything like me, you’ll love self-sufficiency!

Best of luck on your studies! x

[maudyayunda]

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‘Recording 86′ on my iPhone: recorded late last year, and inspired by a love for deep meaningful conversations that jump seamlessly from one line of thought to another.

But here’s my epiphany, a recent realisation: the honesty and comfort of a shared silence can outshine any mere play of words. 

Enjoy! 

[maudyayunda]

What is life if not for dreaming? (credits to windysucipto + fimela).

[maudyayunda]

Begin Again

It has been roughly two years since I posted. Time flew as I chose to engross myself in uni life, a music album, and keeping myself reasonably sane while juggling the two. In other words, I’ve been distracted. But here I am, seeking to make up for it.  

Welcome [again] to my blog. I give you my word that my musings will be less short-lived than they were two years ago. Feel free to ask questions: I’ll answer those which tickle most. 

So here’s to beginnings, and new adventures. Here’s to an open heart, and a changed mind. 

                                                                                                                  ♥, Mod  

[maudyayunda]

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

Seneca

[maudyayunda]

Falling Asleep

Falling asleep is messy business, especially in days like these; where I’ve just had a little too much of something. Other days, it may have been food, green tea latte, or the occasional drama.

Nonetheless, this time it feels different. Lying now under the covers of my pearly white sheet and trying to ignore the webbed strays of light from my antique night-lamp; i find myself increasingly troubled or rather, confused by a ever-persistent notion.

“The Impossible.” Watched that movie earlier today and it just may have been those intensely horrifying and heart-warming images that are keeping my eyes wide open. The movie tells the true story of a family (a couple and three sons); “typical” by standard measures, who went off to Thailand for a christmas holiday by the beach. But they did not at all expect the tsunami which teared everything apart on the second day of their trip. Although separated, they somehow then found one another through a mindblowing journey others would have deemed impossible; intact and alive.

I couldn’t remember how often I was mesmerized by the scenes of the movie, or completely touched. All i knew was that i left the theater knowing that I was one lucky human being. After watching the movie, I had wanted to shop around for several things, but after the two-hour experience, those things seemed much less significant.

Tonight, I realize that my insomnia can be narrowed down to two things; taught by the movie I just previously outlined. The first; a great sense of gratitude for everything and everyone I have. The second; the realization that once again, nothing is impossible.

I’d now like to thank the movie and its incredible actors for making me embrace a sense of gratitude, realize the nonsensical idea of “impossible,” and rather unfortunately, attain a hardcore insomnia I will now attempt to end.

Goodnight fellows! x

[maudyayunda]

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A short little song I wrote once upon a sleepy morning. :) 

"Wake Up" 

Sleepy darlin' will you wake up?

Fly away from your dreams

Come to my reality...

It's better than anything you'll ever dream

Wake up, 

Darlin' the sky is high 

I know that you and I 

Will want to paint rainbows in the sky 

Sleepy darlin' will you wake up? :) 

[maudyayunda]

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Here is yet another song I wrote some time ago. It's a lil weird but then again, maybe that's its appeal... (self justification) :p 

It's called "Lovable." 

Everytime you smile 

Everytime you look at me 

I go a little insane

Everytime you laugh 

Every time you hold me tight 

I go a little looloo

No its not love

Not a fairytale

It's all your doing it's you

Why you so lovable lovable 

Like a balloon 

Lovable 

Like a billionnaire 

Lovable 

Like a ballerina 

Lovable, like... 

[maudyayunda]

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This was a song I wrote some time ago. I just listened to it again and felt I should share it with the rest of you. (copyright btw!) haha. 

"Would You?"

Once again I see your trust fly away, fly away

Then again I see your heart break away, break away 

But this time I won't let you down

This time I will never lie 

This time I will never break you 

If only you'd let me try

If only you'd listen 

So 

Would you please 

Tell me Yes

You'll give me another chance

Would you please

Tell me no

You won't let me go

Once again I see your eyes tear away, tear away 

Then again I see your smile fade away, fade away 

But this time I won't let you down 

This time I will never lie

This time I won't break you in two

If only you'd let me try

If only you'd listen 

So 

Would you please

tell me yes

You'll give me another chance 

Would you please

Tell me no

You won't let me go 

Would you please 

Love me still 

[maudyayunda]

The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.