is a werewolf.

Do not follow if you are a minor or are anti-kink.Still mostly SFW anyway.

[maxisawerewolf]

bye

Decided a while ago that I just Cannot be on tumblr anymore. It may not be a permanent goodbye, so I'm not deleting any of my blogs, but I'll be logging off again once this is posted and currently have no plans to log back in.

Attempts to get my mainblog unflagged, and to locate/access/preserve certain favorite original posts, have been unsuccessful. Which is both a slap to my face and a bit of a boot to my ass on my way out the door.

See y'all around, hopefully.

Where else to find me:

☆ Dreamwidth [primary internet home — fic, meta, kink, tarot]

☆ Pillowfort [secondary internet home — art, knitting, photos, crossposts from Dreamwidth, misc]

☆ AO3

☆ Ravelry

☆ Discord [chinashopbull#6564]

☆ Weasyl [rarely used]

☆ email [chinashopbulldog at the gmail]

[maxisawerewolf]

always the last to know frequently wish I could go back to not knowing like oh say… right now

I had a really happy afternoon actually and it was 99.999% due to being aggressively unapologetically queer with someone I care about a lot — this, amid my mental illness making active attempts on my life —

sometimes I think they only say “living well is the best revenge” in order to keep you complacent but then but then I think …“fuck yeah it is”

so to all my queers who are scared to go to vigils or who are panicking over what bullshit military and/or rights-stripping government actions might happen over this or who are pissed as fuck about how our actual people are already somehow being erased from the narrative (again) or who don’t know what to do or who don’t know what to think

I’m gonna post cute/happy/sexy things and recount my orgasms like blessings and if my depression lets me leave the house tomorrow I’m gonna step out in leather, rainbows, and all the gayest shit I own and I will have on my person all the weapons I possess including foremost my glorious goddamn libido

[maxisawerewolf]

I wrote this after the Pulse shooting but I'm reblogging it now because, broadly speaking, #mood

(Not comparing the two events. Comparing only the shape of my own emotions then and now. [The shape, not the scale.] Also of all the things Wrong with what's happening right now, what I'm focusing on right-here-and-now isn't even pretending to be The Main Thing or the biggest crime. It's just the particular way these events happen to be slotting into my emotions.)

I'm not choosing to leave tumblr, but if this is it for my account, I'm at least taking this opportunity to be the one closing the door. Life doesn't frequently grant us that chance.

I don't expect my account to survive the purge. It might, but I strongly doubt it. I've managed to scrape together backups of what I could, and if my account is still here on the 18th I'll be continuing with preservation efforts and then...

I don't know. I still haven't decided.

My partner and I used tumblr as our main communication platform when we first 'met', did you know that? We lived in different parts of the country. Now he's sitting five feet away from me, we've been through hell and redefined heaven together, and I'm goddamn determined to spend the rest of my life with him.

It will be a very kinky life, too. And to me, that is Extremely Important.

I no longer feel inclined to hide or lie about that. Even if the only thing I do differently is incorporate more of that kink into the fanfic I write, or something... it'll still be Something. I just want to be visible to other people who are like me. I want to offer that kind of hope and validation. I haven't selected the exact rock I want to die on yet, but I'm scoping out a very particular side of a very particular mountain.

And I intend to be a force for good in the world.

I want to become one of those people who helps others remove their undeserved shame. Who makes the world a little safer for other softhearted freaks just by virtue of visibly existing without apologizing for it. Like the people I've admired... everyone from David Bowie to a few kink bloggers right here on tumblr.

Funny how it all loops back on itself like that. Over and over. Fortunately, I know how to knit. I know how to turn endless repeating loops into — not a tangle — something soft and beautiful and warm and of value.

Writing works the same way.

I still have self-esteem issues so all this "I want to be" stuff looks to me like an absurd and grandiose intent to declare publicly and in writing.

But, mostly thanks to healthy kink in a Solid Freaking Relationship (like I said: Extremely Important), I now have just enough shiny confidence to go ahead and say it anyway. This is the kind of person I want to be.

Striving is an action, and it starts with pretending. To try is to pretend that you'll be successful. And as I understand it, that's the only way anybody ever starts winning.

Anyway.

Tonight I'll be logging off. Tomorrow my partner and I are going to see Into the Spider-Verse and be very kind to each other.

After that... I'll still be chinashopbull on AO3, Pillowfort, and Dreamwidth. Doing my best, whatever that looks like.

Thank you. I love you. You're not alone.

[kawuli]

Stones Have Been Popping Out of People Who Ride Roller Coasters

Using centripetal force to prevent a $4 billion healthcare cost

1. Doctor finds anecdotal evidence that people are passing kidney stones after riding on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad at Disney World

2. Doctor makes 3-D model of kidney, complete with stones and urine (his own), takes it on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad 60 times

3. “The stones passed 63.89 percent of the time while the kidneys were in the back of the car. When they were in the front, the passage rate was only 16.67 percent. That’s based on only 60 rides on a single coaster, and Wartinger guards his excitement in the journal article: ‘Preliminary study findings support the anecdotal evidence that a ride on a moderate-intensity roller coaster could benefit some patients with small kidney stones.’”

4. “Some rides are going to be more advantageous for some patients than other rides. So I wouldn’t say that the only ride that helps you pass stones is Big Thunder Mountain. That’s grossly inaccurate.”

5. “His advice for now: If you know you have a stone that’s smaller than five millimeters, riding a series of roller coasters could help you pass that stone before it gets to an obstructive size and either causes debilitating colic or requires a $10,000 procedure to try and break it up. And even once a stone is broken up using shock waves, tiny fragments and “dust” remain that need to be passed. The coaster could help with that, too.”

SCIENCE: IT WORKS

[kawuli]

Update: 

“In all, we used 174 kidney stones of varying shapes, sizes and weights to see if each model worked on the same ride and on two other roller coasters,” Wartinger said. “Big Thunder Mountain was the only one that worked. We tried Space Mountain and Aerosmith’s Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster and both failed.”Wartinger went on to explain that these other rides are too fast and too violent with a G-force that pins the stone into the kidney and doesn’t allow it to pass.“The ideal coaster is rough and quick with some twists and turns, but no upside down or inverted movements,” he said.

MSU Today

[kawuli]

I just love this because it’s HILARIOUS and yet also a perfect archetypal example of The Scientific Method:

1. Hypothesis

2. Experiment

3. Results

4. Discussion 

5. Conclusions

6. GOTO 1 (the scientific method is iterative, don’t forget that part)

[kristoffbjorgman]

was this like… done in cooperation with disney management or did some  random scientist go through bag check with a 3d printed kidney and a bottle of piss and start looking for big thunder mountain fastpasses

[the-pie-initiative]

He asked first!

Of course, the researchers had to get permission from Disney World before bringing the model kidney onto the rides. “It was a little bit of luck,” Wartinger recalls. “We went to guest services, and we didn’t want them to wonder what was going on—two adult men riding the same ride again and again, carrying a backpack. We told them what our intent was, and it turned out that the manager that day was a guy who recently had a kidney stone. He called the ride manager and said, do whatever you can to help these guys, they’re trying to help people with kidney stones.”

[the-real-seebs]

that is beautiful.

[terrible-tentacle-theatre]

I love this

Science makes your look really fucking weird sometimes, but by hell you’re helping

[asofterhobbes]

(116) empire

[tijuanabiblestudies]

i just want to live in peace and plant potatoes and fuck

[gunpla]

[xkcds]

I’m like a prisoner in Plato’s Cave, seeing only the shade you throw on the wall.

Indirect Detection [Explained]

[zerofarad]

this is an important part of the tumblr experience

[ninewhitebanners]

More photos of Mongolia’s reindeer-herding minority ethnic group, the Tsaatan, by Joel Santos.

Children are responsible for training reindeer for riding, because the reindeer are not strong enough to carry an adult until they are fully grown, and it works best to introduce them to the idea early. A two year old reindeer, old enough for a child to ride, is called dongor; an adult reindeer is a hoodai.

[adhdpie]

‘am i Having A Brain Problem or Being a Shithead’: a short procrastination checklist

aka why tf am i procrastinating on The Thing (more like a flowchart, actually)

lots of people who have executive function difficulties worry about whether they’re procrastinating on a task out of laziness/simply wanting to be a jerk or mental struggles. this checklist might help you figure out which it is at any given time! (hint: it’s almost never laziness or being a jerk.) (obligatory disclaimer: this is just what works for me! something different might work better for you.)

1) do I honestly intend to start the task despite my lack of success?

yes: it’s a Brain Problem. next question

no: it’s shitty to say one thing & do another. better be honest with myself & anyone expecting me to do the task.

2) am I fed, watered, well-rested, medicated properly, etc?

yes: next question

no: guess what? this is the real next task

3) does the idea of starting the task make me feel scared or anxious?

yes: Anxiety Brain. identify what’s scaring me first.

no: next question

4) do I know how to start the task?

yes: next question

no: ADHD Brain. time to make an order of operations list.

5) do I have everything I need to start the task?

yes: next question

no: ADHD Brain lying to me about the steps again, dangit. first task is ‘gather the materials’.

6) why am i having a hard time switching from my current task to this new task?

i’m having fun doing what i’m doing: it’s okay to have fun doing a thing! if task is time-sensitive, go to next question.

i have to finish doing what i’m doing: might be ADHD brain. can I actually finish the current task or will I get trapped in a cycle? does this task really need to be finished?

the next task will be boring/boring-er than the current task: ADHD brain. re-think the next task. what would make it exciting? what am I looking forward to?

I might not have enough time to complete the task: ADHD brain wants to finish everything it starts. (if task is time-sensitive, go to next question)

i just want to make the person who asked me to do it angry: sounds like anxiety brain trying to punish itself, because I know I’ll be miserable if someone is angry at me. why do i think I deserve punishment?

no, I seriously want to piss them off: okay, i’m being a shithead

7) have I already procrastinated so badly that I now cannot finish the task in time?

yes: ADHD brain is probably caught in a guilt-perfection cycle. since I can’t have the task done on time, i don’t even want to start.

reality check: having part of a thing done is almost always better than none of a thing done. if I can get an extension, having part of it done will help me keep from stalling out until the extension deadline. i’ll feel better if I at least try to finish it.

no, there’s still a chance to finish on time: ADHD brain thinks that I have all the time in the world, but the truth is I don’t. 

reality check: if i’m having fun doing what I’m doing, I can keep doing it, but I should probably set a timer & ask someone to check on me to make sure I start doing the task later today.

8) I’ve completed the checklist and still don’t know what’s wrong!

probably wasn’t honest enough with myself. take one more look.

if I’m still mystified, ask a friend to help me talk it out.

hope this helps some of you! YOU’RE DOING GREAT SWEETIE DON’T GIVE UP ON YOU

[tealdearest]

This is…entirely too real lol

[astrodidact]

https://www.democracynow.org/2018/12/13/you_are_stealing_our_future_greta

You Are Stealing Our Future: Greta Thunberg, 15, Condemns the World’s Inaction on Climate Change

Fifteen-year-old Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg addressed the U.N. plenary last night in Katowice, Poland, condemning global inacti

[officialdreadwolf]

my favourite part of Orwell’s writing is when he described anime glasses flashing in 1945

[officialdreadwolf]

[thatautismfeel]

Tafw your ftm and been on T for like 6 months and your newest stim is playing with your stubble

[astraldeterminism-deactivated20]

if you wake up much earlier than normal you feel secret emotions

[svinto]

i wish there wasn’t such a stigma around being proved wrong, bc it’s a part of life, no one can be right all the time. if we didn’t feel as much shame about it i think a lot of things would change a lot faster

[feminismandhappiness]

we all need to practice saying “I hadn’t thought of it like that” “I hadn’t seen it that way before” “I must have misunderstood the first time I heard about it” “if I had known those facts I wouldn’t have thought like I did”

[xmas-wonderland]

[friendly-animals]

(Source)

[medusa-illustration]

All hail DEADPOOL. Blacklight sensitive drawing. Final product.