Name's "Max".
Most of what's posted here pertains to my interests. Fandom-wise, I'm currently on a Spamton-binge (long-term), TADC (current), and Mob Psycho (current). In general, however, I'm into vintage art, decor, and vaporwave / 80s-90s aesthetics.
Due to my OCD, it takes a while to post my art. Please click the links below for early access.
Thanks for reading and stopping by.
Inquiry | FurAffinity | A03 | Instagram | #My Art
Some hot takes trending on Twitter right now concerning Jax in ep9 of TADC. Because the fandom is largely reactionary and unable to digest the most milquetoast take, of course my hottest take is gaining some traction. That is, Jax being a cautionary tale of unchecked mental illness and the parallels I made with Elliot Rodger.
Of course this is a contentious comparison, why wouldn't it be? It's Elliot Rodger. A man who self-secluded to a dangerous degree, was extremely self-loathing about who he was, harassed and bullied people around him, was a misogynist, a victim of bullying himself prior to his breakdown and murderous rampage, and - oh wait… Who does this parallel with? Oh yea.
Jax.
Of course Jax is no actual Elliot Rodger. It's why I used the term parallel. In fact, he's a self admitted insert of Goose herself. She's stated numerous times that Jax is not a good person nor is he solely a victim. This isn't even subtext, this is text, inside and outside of the show.
And to reiterate to the reactionaries, of course Jax isn't a raging incel nor a racist like Elliot Rodger was nor is he the extreme. Jax wasn't born into privilege with doting parents like Elliot. Most of Jax's thoughts were intrusive only, the most horrendous of which he never acted upon. Arguably it's Elliot's extremism and privilege in comparison to Jax that makes people upset about the comparison I made, fair enough.
However, a big however, the key topic of argument that is true is both Jax and Elliot spiraled and escalated due to their refusal to receive and take help.
That was my point.
That's the cautionary tale of both.
Elliot refused efforts from family, therapists, and friends. Jax refused efforts from friends. Neither were capable of being helped because neither wanted it and it led to the deaths of people around them and themselves.
And yes - Jax neglected and emotionally abused his friends Ribbit and Kaufmo to suicide (abstraction). It's literally shown in abstracted Jax's memories. What's worse is that Jax couldn't see or appreciate the privilege he had with Ribbit and Kaufmo. They were the family and friends he always wanted.
Elliot wasn't broken because he was half asian or because women were the "scum of the earth" (they weren't / paraphrased), he was broken because he was deluded and selfish. Jax wasn't broken because of his gender identity nor was he broken due to the emotional abuse of his parents. He was broken because he was deluded and selfish. Neither were inherently monsters but both allowed themselves to become monsters.
On another note, fictional characters pull from inspiration from real people and events all the time. Stop being dense in this regard.
And on another note, I'm not using she/her pronouns only because the canon doesn't for digital or real life Jax and both of them appear to still be closeted. There's a whole other discussion about Jax's gender identity I'll get into later maybe...
Back on May 19th I was asking for sensitivity readers for a Spamtenna fanfic and over ten people got back to me and all of them ghosted me the moment I sent them my chapter and a mini bible like - it’s disheartening… Even when I reached out every few days or so, literally no one responded even though I’d see them active online.
This has been a continuous experience sans one where Native Americans from a rare tribe helped me with my Atlantis fanfic almost half a decade ago.
Now my anxiety and apprehension about reaching out again has been solidified and it’s just something I’m not going to do anymore. I’ll try my best on my own. I know I’m not owed anything, but simply saying you’re no longer interested would’ve been ok.
Are there any mutuals or followers who are bpd?
I'm looking for a sensitivity reader for a fanfic that has two bpd-coded characters, one quiet (blue addison) and the other loud (Tenna).
While some aspects are canon to Deltarune, other aspects are additional head canon. Because of this, Tenna's role will stick to and build upon the canon elements in his relation to Spamton. Should also note that Spamton's the primary pov character, so this is largely being written from his perceptions and perspective. This does not reflect my opinions of Tenna as a character (who I love). This is why it's important to find a sensitivity reader. I want Tenna to be a character and not a medical trope.
Credit for whatever chapter(s) you assist with will be given in the notes section!
Anyone else kind of worried that if Jax is confirmed as trans in the final episode, it'll suck as trans rep regardless of whether he apologizes or not, if trans rep is Goose's intent with Jax and not a character study?
That is, Jax spent so much time being physically and emotionally abusive that I don't see how he can truly come back from it in a way that feels genuinely repentant or reasonably warrants forgiveness from those he abused in the time the movie has.
At the same time, if Jax suffers the consequences of his actions despite the reveal of him being trans, it could come off as some kind of "kill your blacks, females, and gays" kinda' bad?
I honestly think not revealing Jax's gender identity beyond the presumption that he's trans would work better in this case. Being uncomfortable with oneself in a more generalized sense has fewer traps in properly executing than tying that to something such as race, sexuality, and gender identity. That's because Jax's identity wouldn't be so tied to his amoral actions, which have been a core trait of his foil with others.
That said, if this is a character study where the audience is mature and doesn't see such a thing as a moral reflection of what's being discussed, nor as the author's morality, then this concern doesn't matter. Unfortunately for Goose, her fandom is primarily people from Tumblr and Twitter with concentrated neurodivergence. And if her intent is trans rep, well - that could be an issue with how Jax has been set up and portrayed so far.
To better explain: if Jax's reason for being abusive was because he has gender identity issues, that doesn't suddenly make me empathetic to Jax? Like - I genuinely feel for people who've suffered bigotry, but I'm not gonna' feel bad for you if your response is to harass innocent people unprovoked all the time??? Especially when it's canon that they feel physical pain?
That said, it can be done well. The bully archetype was done pretty well with Gideon Grey in the short time he had. Especially when you see how Nick, also a red fox, was treated to fill in the gaps as to why he was a bully. It also helped that Judy was the only person we saw him bully to such a physical degree, and only once when he was a kid.
But Jax has been bullying people for years. He's been doing this as an adult. So like - I dunno'; lol… I'm scared. :')
Pomni could be high on edibles, deadass look into the camera and say "2 + 2 = 4", then look back to Jax and laugh, and half the internet will come up with crack theories of what that means, and the other half will say she's enabling Jax to beat women.
I like dissecting these because whoboy - is there a lot to go through.
I know this is going to sound foreign to some, but yes... Bullies and mean girls do have friends who are actually kind to so long as said friends toe the line. On that note, Jax also bullies Kinger, not just the women.
More importantly, Pomni didn't want to be with Jax.
I HAVE AUTISM AND FREE TIME SO LET'S GO -
Pomni approaches Ragatha without hesitation, asking if she wants to partner up. It's Ragatha who denies Pomni, mentioning she doesn't want Kinger to get stuck with Jax.
A valid interpretation of this is Ragatha not wanting to be with Jax more than she wants to protect Kinger, but I'd argue both feelings are at play even if it's not outwardly stated.
Literally after this, Pomni suggests she herself team up with Kinger, not Jax. She mentions how they were together once (ep3) and how it wasn't that bad.
Ragatha then hesitates and mentions her concern with Jax, causing Pomni to turn to Jax, who is playfully aiming with the gun. It's here Pomni's expression becomes worried.
It's not explicitly stated, but Pomni has been paying attention to everyone in the circus. She knows Jax is a bully.
The moment Pomni sees Ragatha's pov, she scraps her initial suggestion and offers to be on Jax's team to prevent Ragatha and Kinger from being bullied.
Her intent isn't to get to know Jax or befriend him. She explicitly states she's doing this to keep him in check.
Most of their interactions are stiff. Pomni's primarily trying to placate Jax so as to not have him do too much damage. She doesn't even want to participate in killing, as she sees the others as people, whereas Jax sees them as part of a game.
Pomni counters Jax numerous times in this one scene. [1] She tries to withdraw from killing. [2] She states that she doesn't want to hurt them. [3] She calls them her friends. [4] She reiterates the prior two points when Jax question's hew view of the circus. [5] Mentions they're not cartoon characters and are still people.
When Jax claims they're just archetypes, Pomni doesn't agree with him. She asks him skeptically what he is, to which she claims he's the villain.
And almost all of her expressions with Jax in this scene are worried to annoyed. Remember, she didn't want to be paired with Jax. Her intent isn't to be Jax's friend; it's to prevent him from going too far and bullying the others.
When Jax reiterates he's the funny one Pomni clearly has a moment of cognitive dissonance and repeats the line skeptically with a worried expression. She doesn't think he's the funny one because she is aware of his bullying of her and others.
"But she went along with Jax!"
Yea…
That's the point of this scene.
That's the tension.
Jax's cognitive dissonance concerns his relation to others and the circus. Getting Pomni on his side alleviates that.
Pomni's cognitive dissonance is that they still matter as beings even if they're trapped in the circus. That's still a human moral code she should adhere to.
They're foils to each other. Of course, this dilemma occurs. Pomni ultimately fails it because she's sympathetic and lets her guard down. Don't worry, we're getting to that part.
I'd argue that what Pomni and Jax are going through is like a corrupted, sleight-of-hand version of B&tB.
Jax has open moments with Pomni. There are vulnerable ones too, eg his admission of trypophobia. It's surface-level, but a vulnerable admission nonetheless.
Related: I dealt with a bully who stopped bullying me when I tutored him (against my will), and he informed me he was dyslexic. We saw commonality in our neurobiological conditions, and he never bullied me again. He even defended me from other bullies.
Remember, Pomni's not intending to befriend Jax. Her initial goal was to placate him. But as a jester, she's paying attention. It's not unreasonable to think this is progress, that Jax is becoming a more open person. I understand how Pomni could conflate Jax's openness with him becoming, dare I say... Friendlier. This is the norm for non-manipulative people.
More importantly, Jax unintentionally let his guard down. It's why he immediately doubles down on his masking after she hugs him.
Pomni, being the sympathetic one, genuinely thinks Jax is being open with her. In that moment of hype, she hugs him. Remember, this is the first fun game she's had.
Jax thought Pomni was on the same level of detachment as he was. But her hug makes it clear she isn't. She cares openly and audibly.
When Pomni tries to get back into Jax's mindset, she can't. She wants the final showdown to be mutual, but he refuses. Pomni reiterates she didn't want to shoot Jax at the end. I'd argue this applies to everyone she's shot. She's realizing what she's allowed herself to do. Pomni sacrificed her morals to placate Jax.
This is the rose-tinted glasses shattering in real time for Pomni. She's realizing they aren't on the same page and never were.
Pomni thinks the chaotic evil gag was a temporary facade for the game itself. For Jax? It's permanent.
I won't go through the whole argument in the third act, but yea. Pomni never wanted to befriend Jax. But allowed herself to believe they were becoming friends. Pomni sacrificed her morals and hurt her other friends, something that clearly bothers her based on what she throws back at Jax in this scene.
She literally spends the third act physically and verbally beating the shit out of Jax when she realizes what's going on.
This is no longer her trying to understand or empathize with Jax. This is her being a jester, calling him out on his shit.
Tl;dr - all TADC fans smoke crack and have giga-autism, but I smoke the least crack and have less giga-autism, so I'm more correct or something; fartfartfart.
I think people forget that we, as individuals, attach to people differently and on different levels of friendship.
Not only that, but Pomni comforts and approaches almost every character, and those characters find comfort in others outside of her.
✨ BUCKLE UP FOR A LONG BREAKDOWN. ✨
Concerning Ragatha and Pomni, their issues started back around ep2 and compounded from there. The most prominent instance is Pomni calling out Ragatha's coddling (paraphrased) as she's not a child.
In ep3, Kinger has a conversation with Pomni. He tells her to cherish those around her because you never know when they'll be gone. It's from this prompt that Pomni tells Ragatha how much she appreciates her concern and efforts to make her feel at home in such a strange, new world. Pomni even mentions her own faults of not being appreciative of Ragatha in a manner that she should be.
In ep6, Ragatha laments her perceived falling out with Pomni from ep5 and shows her insecurity of Pomni not liking her softball suggestion. This fear and others culminate after she loses the gun fight and has a conversation with Kinger, who gives her solid advice.
At the end of ep6, Pomni bumps into Ragatha. It's heavily implied that they resolved the issues from the prior episodes based on advice we've seen Kinger give them on separate occasions.
In ep4, Pomni reluctantly comforts Gangle but then does so sincerely upon realizing how upset she is. Pomni suggests Ragatha as a good person to confide in based on her prior knowledge and experiences with her. This shows Pomni sees Ragatha's strengths and values them.
Gangle mentions how much she loves Ragatha but notes Ragatha's compulsive people-pleasing and fawning. It makes Gangle unsure of how sincere Ragtha is.
Pomni thinks Ragatha is sincere, while Gangle doesn't. This is consistent with their characters. Pomni wants to see the best in others, and Gangle, being chronically depressed and bullied, is skeptical. This prompts doubt in Pomni's assertion of Ragatha's character since Gangle's been there longer. Gangle then shuts Pomni down the moment she tries to (potentially) defend Ragatha or potentially help Gangle herself.
After this point in ep5, Gangle starts finding support and acceptance in Zooble, which Pomni likely noticed, and it's probably why Pomni stopped trying to help either of them since they're helping each other.
When Jax criticizes Gangle's ability to find acceptance and be happy, Pomni hits back with a biting "what?" at his observation as though his sentiments are ludicrous. This still aligns with her attempts to see the value in everyone.
Ragatha then shows up, and we, of course, get her chewing out Jax passive-aggressively. Of course she's right in that he doesn't have friends, and her backtracking after his angry turn.
Pomni tries defending Ragatha against Jax's claims that mirror Gangle, which doubles down on her doubt. Especially since Pomni likely trusts Gangle over Jax.
Later during the softball incident, Pomni shits on both Ragatha and Jax who are fighting in front of her.
But Ragatha continues to rightfully chew Jax out in a manner Pomni will later replicate upon seeing how Jax responds to her efforts to befriend him. Hc time, but I think this is part of Pomni's motivation to talk to Ragatha at the character awards, because Ragatha was right.
We also see Ragatha's still trying her best to help people despite her tension with Jax and Pomni. Meanwhile, Gangle thanks Ragatha for advice that worked.
Like - Pomni and Gangle literally interact. Ragatha gets so much development with everyone. Also, Ragatha and Pomni have a pretty solid arc if you rewatch everything.
Suffering another crisis of meaning, a major life event, and I'm recovering from burnout. Plus I'm trying not to lose the bible for this fic like I did for its predecessor, but - it officially begins...
To understand Phonecall, you'll have to read Voicemail.
Aiming to knock out the character bibles for this book today and tomorrow, let it settle, then start the three-act breakdown broadstrokes to plot the first three chapters.
Chapter 1 of Phonecall's blocked out! ✨
Hopefully, I can get this bad boy written and published this week!
PS: looking for an editor so I might hit up some mutuals if interested!
I've been seeing weird posts such as this where people claim Goose doesn't really treat Jax as an antagonist, but like - I’m confused as to how people are looking at the poster of Jax consuming the circus like a cancer with dilated eyes. Meanwhile, Pomni looks horrified. Yet folks think Goose is implying he’s innocent or woobified?
Even more insane are people thinking that Jax is a protagonist???
Jax has been nothing but antagonistic to everyone and conflicting with their individual needs, wants, and goals. He does this on an individual and collective level. It doesn't matter if he's mentally ill or didn't know Caine's escape game was a ruse. A part of him thought it was real. He sabotaged their (perceived) chance to leave without hesitation because he didn't want to go, and or have them leave either.
Jax is the antagonist to everyone. He belittles Pomni’s attempted friendship, mocks Zooble’s gender identity, bullies Gangle, slices at Ragatha’s coping mechanisms, and cracks jokes at Kinger’s mental state. More importantly, as said, he sabotages their attempts to leave.
Antagonist doesn't mean you're morally evil or a large-scale threat. It's someone who inhibits the actions of or goes against the grain of the protagonist(s) to their detriment.
“But Caine was the antagonist!” … You can have more than one… “But Jax is a victim of Caine!” … He can still be an antagonist to others… “But Jax has friends!”
Here - let’s look at Cartman. He’s an antagonist to the other boys and has antagonists himself.
The protagonist can shift in a series. It’s why when Cartman’s the focus (protagonist), characters such as Kyle, Scott Tenorman, and Sheila are antagonists to Cartman.
Tldr: someone can be both a protagonist and antagonist depending on the point of view and interactions.
Back to TADC...
While everyone else has had misunderstandings and hangups, they’ve (mostly) worked through them. They find comfort and healing in others, and we see that on screen. They grow individually and collectively for the better.
Jax is the only one who refuses. It's made clear that the rest primarily tolerate him so he won’t abstract and harm them. Zoboble even says this in the couch scene of ep8.
Unlike some other characters and the author's perception of them *coughStolascough*, Goose has made many posts that Jax isn't a nice or good person. Although he's her favorite, I've yet to see her woobify Jax to a noticeable degree, if at all.
Goose could do the most amazing thing and have Jax be a mentally ill victim just as much as everyone else, but play it straight, in that he hurts people because he refuses to change.
No matter how much you try to help and accommodate some people in your life, they won't change and will hurt you. And you have to move on.
I still contend this would be a great foil to everyone else whom we've seen come to terms in their past and present lives to make something new, and what happens when you don't.
Like... am I crazy? Is this clear set-up or just pure coincidence?
@crazitaco talks about how Caine probably developed his God Complex due to how Kinger treated him during his development, and I cannot agree more. There are so many little things Kinger says that just feel off:
For starters, Kinger was probably the main developer for Caine. He said he only got 'pointers' from Scratch, meaning there was only minor involvement. Kinger made the executive decision to take a being that HE KNEW could create his own ideas ('creative AI, one that can come up with its own ideas') and stuck him in a box for three years due to some buggy outputs.
The way he talks about Caine as a 'semi-success', as 'good groundwork', and as only ONE of his 'achievements' just feels so different compared to how he speaks to Ragatha or Pomni. You could even say he's picking one child over Caine AGAIN. It was Abel, now it's anyone other than Caine.
When Kinger is considering solutions to stop Caine from terrorizing them, he never says 'calm him down' when referring to putting him into sleep, or talking to him while he's contained (something he does with the other cast members). No, he straight away goes 'fix him', 'alter him', 'put him to sleep'. What does that entail? Put a filter on him? Delete his memories? MODIFY HIS MIND?
The problem is they know that Caine created this place and he maintains it, and now the cast know exactly what it looks like when he's not there. It's unlivable. Sure, they can conjure things but, without hope and actually believing they can, they won't be able to conjure for long. Pomni's exit began glitching after only a couple minutes. They won't be able to rebuild a new life within the circus without Caine.
So... what will they consider?
Oh yeah, their original plan: mind control him. Sure, it's so horrific if he does it to THEM, even temporarily, but it's completely reasonable to permanently alter HIS mind for their own personal benefits. Surely that won't lead to any ethical dilemmas down the road, surely surely not...
Guys, this REEKS of Frankenstein. It's too much of a coincidence. This relationship wasn't loving, not to mention how Caine distances himself away from Kinger in every possible moment:
Maybe I’m thinking too logically about this, but the reason Kinger cares little for Caine as a being is that Caine is a program.
If the soma scenario is true, which I think it is, then none of the gang know they’re neural scans and thus ai themselves. They think they’re humans trapped in the digital circus, which explains their prior escape attempts.
If they’re operating on the principle that they’re human, why would they care what Caine thinks? It's like asking someone to care about the emotional well-being of ChatGPT or the feelings of a computer program apologizing for crashing etc. Especially since Caine is shown to be apathetic to the interests and needs of humans, much like an underdeveloped program or llm ai (eg chatGPT) would be.
It's shown that Caine was fed certain images and materials as one would and has to do with generative or llm ai. The ai at my company only knew how to fix mistakes based on the twelve manuals programmers fed it. Not from abstract thought or intuition. It even missed simple solutions because it wasn't in the data fed to it from those sources and others.
Caine's ability to create fell short of the programmers' objectives and or was negatively effecting other programs / code. It's likely why the programming team scrapped Caine to make a second program, which is normal in coding.
We're shown that Caine's creations were limited to the initial 1996 tests when creating the digital circus. Any new creations Caine made afterwards were likely pulled from the neural scans of the programmers and current gang, which he admitted to having copies of twice.
Of course, there’s a tragedy in Caine’s desperation, frustration, and outcome. Especially since he can never truly be empathetic or appease humans, be it by programming or stubbornness. He can never truly fulfill his purpose. But I don’t think that makes Kinger a hypocrite if he believes the gang and himself are human. Especially since AI currently only grows based on information fed into it, which is limited by its programming.