Why am I always self sabotaging my relationship? My brain knows hes buisy and talks to me when he can, but my heart just feels the same way it did when we first started talking and I knew he wasnt buisy, just not interested. I dont know why I stayed around.
I love this boy but will I ever get over the way he first treated me?
I was so unproduktive today... I couldnt get my mind to do anything, its emberassing really. But at least the view from my bedroom is pretty now because I did some arts and crafts 🥲
Im gonna grab a book now and try not to worry too much.
Soooo… I moved out, started university and went in expecting this to be the great time of my life everyone promised me.
But instead I feel like I just came to the USA expecting the american dream and a Gatsby type lifestyle only to work in a can factory and to come home to unpaid bills and a carrot for supper.
Seeing others blemishes and imperfections makws me feel better about my own. Because I feel like they have insecuritys of their own and it takes away the pressure of being perfect.
Is that selfish?
Way can I only be content with myself when I look at the ugly sides of others?
It is so strange to love someone. I logically know that this person isn't right for me. They don't like me enough to give me what I need, but I still stay, regardless of how many times I get hurt. I will always stay, because I hope for you to change into someone you are not. All because I see the potential for them to be everything I wish for.
♡ Start by preparing the dough. Combine all the dough ingredients in a large bowl and knead until you have a soft, elastic dough. Cover the bowl with a clean towel and let the dough rise for about 1 hour, or until doubled in size.
♡ While the dough rises, prepare the apple filling. In a heated pan, melt the butter, then add the diced apples, sugar, and cinnamon. Cook until the apples soften and release their juices, stirring occasionally. In a small bowl, mix the cornstarch with water and add it to the apple mixture, cooking for another 2 minutes until thickened. Set the filling aside to cool.
♡ For the cheesecake filling, mix the cream cheese, sugar, and vanilla sugar in a bowl until smooth and creamy. Set aside.
♡ Once the dough has risen, divide it into 9 equal portions and shape them into balls. Place the balls on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper, cover, and let them rise for another 15 minutes.
♡ In the meantime, make the crumble topping. Mix the butter, sugar, and flour with your hands until it forms a crumbly texture.
♡ Press the center of each dough ball with the bottom of a glass to create an indentation, making sure to leave a thick border. Brush the edges of the dough with the egg yolk.
♡ Fill the center of each dough ball with a spoonful of the cheesecake filling, followed by a spoonful of the apple filling. Sprinkle the crumble on top of each bun.
♡ Bake in a preheated oven at 180°C (350°F) for 20-25 minutes, or until the buns are golden brown.
♡ Let the buns cool down before serving and add a glaze if you want.
Hollidays are exhausting. I know I could do so much but I am doing nothing and just rotting in my bed. And the one person I long for views me as a weekly subscription and doesn't want to see me more than once a week.
(Allthough I am greatful to even have him for some time.)
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