Maybe Maybe, Maybe Not.

Comedy Blog. Writer/Actor. Co-host at Papas Basement radio show and podcast. Also, I have a Corgi named Kairi @Petemaybe.

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I'm celebrating the ultimate theater experience at the Contemporary American Theater Festival. Happy Opening, CATF! thndr.me/RaD4cU http://thndr.me/RaD4cU

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Thank you, Mr. Car Video man. You’ve taught me so much with your bs rant on gender politics

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RIP Jim Vance, God of DC

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Meryl Streep Versus Orange Babydick — Papa’s Basement 518

I watched Sunday’s Golden Globes. (Not because I’m gay, but because I live with my mom. Please, get it right. I have a reputation to uphold!) The highlight of it was undoubtedly Meryl S…

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I am going to give away two Friday the 13th beta Steam keys.

Reblog, follow (if you don’t already) and include your favorite scene from a Friday the 13th movie when you reblog.  I’ll choose a random winner from the people that follow these steps once or I get tired of waiting to give them away, whichever comes first.

I’ll start:  My favorite scene from a Friday the 13th is this scene from Friday the 13th III when the guy is flicking his yoyo at the camera and it keeps going out of focus because they are trying to show off the 3d affect.  It’s just so fucking absurd.  lol

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3 is fun everytime even if it does try really hard to show off its 3d skill. Pick: 3. The scene where dude gets a knife chop to the groin while doing a handstand

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(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ucLlwd4WWg)

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(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZ0PRdZaiUw)

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Papa’s Basement Ep 509 - Rejected Jokes

In a statement to the press, Millionaire, Mark Cuban, offered Trump 10 million dollars for a private 4-hour interview to discuss his policies. Wow, 10 million dollars! If you’re doing the math at home, that’s roughly the street value of four baskets of deplorables!

Britain’s new five-pound note is waterproof and made with less toxins than ever before. In fact, Britain’s new five-pound note is so strong that no other country is willing to break it.

On Monday, Chipotle introduced a new service that delivered burritos to students at Virginia Tech via a drone. It’s a two stage delivery system.  First, they fly the burrito to the student, then the burrito flies right out of the student.

A new study shows Tesla drivers love to shame gas car drivers who park in super-charger spots. This study’s compelling evidence was brought to you by an “Elon peeing on gas cars” bumper sticker.

A recent New York Times article exposed how the sugar industry shifted the weight gain blame onto fat. In a response, fat sucked it in until no one was looking.

Famed rapper Jay-Z says “the war on drugs” is an epic fail. But it’s not what you think. The War on Drugs is actually the name of his second music streaming service.

The Samsung Galaxy Note 7 has had an official recall due to exploding batteries. So the next time you feel that phantom vibration in your pocket, double check to make sure it isn’t a phantom limb.

Earlier this week, Trump was seen on “The Dr. OZ Show” to talk about his health and fitness. He explained to Dr. Oz that even though he eats fast food every day, he stays fit by carrying a basket of deplorables.

The Chinese tycoon behind the gay dating app Grindr will be paying 1.2 billion dollars in his upcoming divorce. Because apparently, in China, it’s a lot easier to create an app than find a good lawyer.

On Saturday, an improvised explosive device blew up an old dumpster in Chelsea, New York. Leaving many people wondering “I thought Trump was in Colorado that night?”.

(listen to us read them on my latest podcast http://www.inpapasbasement.com/papas-basement-509-weekend-update/)

And there ya have it. My rejected jokes. If you liked any of em, lemme know so i can get a feel for what works. Also, feel free to hire me, comedy world. Cheers!

Pete Maybe

[email protected]

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(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABVyxk07lcw)

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In Studio with Ron & Gail Bennington. Papa’s Basement Ep. 499

It isn’t often you get to meet your heroes. And, if you do, sometimes the circumstances stink, like Muhammad Ali pounding the shit out of a young, impressionable George Foreman in Kinshasa so many years ago. But, once in a rare instance, when the Almighty pauses to shotgun another cosmically large tallboy which he intends to urinate on you moments later, you can sneak a big one in the win column. And, this past Friday, co-host Pete Maybe and I were able to do just that by spending some time in the studio with Ron Bennington and his daughter Gail Bennington of Sirius-XM’s Bennington.

http://www.inpapasbasement.com/in-studio-with-ron-gail-bennington-papas-basement-bennington-show/

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Papa’s Basement Ep 498

After all that happened in Orlando on Sunday at Pulse Nightclub, there wasn't much else to talk about this week. Well, except for Christina Grimmie, a singer from the Voice, getting shot and killed in Orlando. And a toddler getting eaten by an alligator. In Orlando. Clearly, Orlando is Spanish for "Death-pit on an Indian burial ground the size of Shea Stadium." Co-host Pete Maybe and I spend 60 minutes talking about the situation in this country with regard to guns, mass shootings and terror. We don't get preachy because it isn't helpful, no one enjoys listening to it and we don't know our asses from our elbows, anyhow. But I do hope you give the episode a chance, because whether you believe your guns should have their own guns with bullets made of even tinier guns or that the extent of weaponry one should legally own begins and ends with a nail file, we think no one will walk away from this episode butthurt. And, if you do, well…I'd tell you to grow the fuck up. But I really can't afford to lose any listeners, so instead feel free to throw pies at my face and genitals as I dance the Charleston or do whatever else it takes to keep you around.

http://www.spreaker.com/user/papasbasement/remembering-orlando-papas-basement-498

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John Papageorgiou on Twitter

“How soon is too soon to spoil a show on social media? The Papa's Basement #Podcast is live now to discuss https://t.co/7qs6v7TWFY”

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The Muscles From Brussels Doesn’t Lose — Papa’s Basement 486

We tried to use the terror attacks in Brussels to remember the great things about that city. Since we are uncultured dolts, our list began and ended with Jean-Claude Van Damme, aka The Muscles From Brussels. Not familiar with his work? Watch the final fight from Bloodsport here and be

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Staten Island Ferry — Papa’s Basement 487

Co-host Pete and I pay a visit to Staten Island, aka Shaolin Land, home to the famed Wu-Tang Clan. And, with any visit to Staten, comes multiple trips on the Staten Island Ferry (coincidentally, a nickname I derisively called Pete for the entirety of the trip), which is a free,

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(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYFuHbEknpI)

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Celebrities Get Tired of Conventional Sex. They're Just Like Us! - watch more funny videos

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Monologue Jokes (rejected).

Here’s a few OLD jokes I forgot to post some time ago.

A group of deer in Oregon were found eating an industrial hemp crop. The deer were eventually busted when they became paranoid and refused to aimlessly walk into traffic.

Former Texas Governor Rick Perry has announced he is dropping out of the presidential race to show his support for the republican party. And, not as I had hoped, to train for American Ninja Warrior.

Hillary Clinton discussed the Iran nuclear deal saying that it must be enforced with “Vigor and Vigilance”  She then explained if those two weren't available she would settle for American Gladiators,“Blaze and Nitro”.

Kansas State University has agreed to impose sanctions after a halftime performance during a football game in which the marching band formed a spaceship that resembled male genitalia.  In an apology the band director said it wasn't his to intention to bare any likeness, but if it had been, he would've needed a bigger field.

The Oakland Zoo will soon auction off paintings done by animals such as elephants, giraffes, and a cockroach.  Not to be outdone, San Francisco zoo is releasing the complete works of Vincent Van Gopher.

A new report from the US Surgeon General says that Americans can have healthier lives if they walk more.  Sooo, if you're JUST learning this now, stay tuned for a rascal commercial.

A 14 foot great white shark died this week after it beached itself on Cape Cod.  This occurred shortly after the shark learned he had been left by his girlfriend for a 15 foot great black shark.

A new study shows that one-third of all people check their mobile devices between 25 to 50 times a day. While the other two-thirds are stuck manufacturing them.

Wildlife officials in Kentucky have caught a monkey that has been on the loose in a small town.  Considering this is the best headline coming out of Kentucky, the monkey has been awarded the job of court clerk.

(Image: monkey dressed to look like Kim Davis)

@PeteMaybe

Co-host: Papa’s Basement

Host: Comedy In Progress