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COMMITTING TO YOUR GOALS The How of Happiness "People who strive for something significant...are far happier than those who don't have strong dreams or aspirations." HOW can we commit to our goals? We have to differentiate between intrinsic goals and extrinsic goals. "Intrinsic Goals are those that you pursue because they are inherently satisfying and meaningful to you. Extrinsic goals reflect more what other people approve or desire for you." Find goals that move you and bring passion to your life. Intense commitment reinforces our sense of AUTONOMY that allow us to pursue MASTERY with a sense of PURPOSE. Benefits of Committed Goals: 1. Sense of purpose and control. 2. Bolster our self-esteem and confidence. 3. Add structure and a sense of meaning to our daily lives. 4. Help us learn to master our use of time. Pick up one or more significant goals that are uniquely meaningful and inherently satisfying to you, dedicate effort, time, and passion and you will see how this alone adds happiness to your life. Until next time. Maynard Manzano. #committingtoyourgoals #thehowofhappiness

#thehowofhappiness #committingtoyourgoals

SAVORING LIFE'S JOYS (9) The How of Happiness This activity is defined as any thought or behavior capable of generating intensifying, and prolonging enjoyment. It requires for you to be present becoming fully aware how much there is to enjoy in that moment. It may be as simple as contemplating a garden or taking pride on your child's or friend accomplishments. How to increase savoring life's joys: Lyubomirsky gives us some ideas. 1. Relish ordinary experiences - Learning to appreciate mundane experiences. 2.Savor and reminisce with family and friends - Often it's easier to savor when you share a positive experience with another. 3.Transport yourself - The ability to engage in positive reminiscence to transport yourself at will to a different time or place. 4.Replay happy days - The practice of regularly replaying your happiest life events serves to prolong and reinforce positive emotions. 5. Celebrate good news -Capitalize on good news by sharing with close family and friends. 6. Be open to beauty and excellence -Allow yourself to admire an object of beauty,talent, genius or virtue. 7.Be mindful -Cultivating mindfulness is a critical ingredient of well-being. 8.Take pleasure in the senses -Take delight in momentary pleasures,wonders and magical moments. 9. Create a savoring album -It can have photos of your favorite people, places or things. Savoring the present goes hand in hand with your conscious appraisal of future goals. They do not exclude each other, but rather one complements the other. Until next time Maynard Manzano #SavoringLife'sExperiences #TheHowofHappiness #Lyubomirsky

#thehowofhappiness #savoringlife #lyubomirsky

INCREASING FLOW EXPERIENCES (8) Flow is a state of intrinsic motivation in which a person is fully immersed in what he or she is doing for the sake of the activity itself (Csikszentmihalyi) you are so engaged and absorbed in what you are doing that you lose track of time and everything else around you. People in flow are usually doing something that they are good at but it still challenges. HOW to Increase FLOW Experiences? 1. Control Attention - To reach the state of full engagement in whatever you are doing, train yourself to keep your attention fully concentrated on whatever it is you are doing. 2. Expand Your Boundaries -Break out of your routine and explore new interests, places and people. 3. Transform Routine Tasks -Another way to transform mundane moments, says Lyubmirsky, is by creating "microflow" experiences with goals and rules. 4. Flow in Conversation -while you're in a conversation by listening very closely to what the other person is saying and on your reaction to her words. 5. Smart Work - If you think of your job as boring and routine, try to think of ways you can kick it up a notch. Challenge yourself. 6.Strive for Superflow -When youâ're absorbed in what you're doing to the maximum degree, you may enter a state that of transcendence that kicks all the attributes of flow. This brings a great satisfaction beyond words. Until next time. Maynard Manzano #TheHowofHappiness #IncreasingFlowExperiences #Csikszentmihalyi #Lyubmirsky

#lyubmirsky #thehowofhappiness #increasingflowexperiences #csikszentmihalyi

LEARNING TO FORGIVE (7) FORGIVENESS is one of the hardest responses that we can adopt when wen are hurt. It is something you are doing for YOU and you alone, NOT for the other person. Our natural inclination is to respond with the same level of negativity.Harming equally in response, avoiding or revenging in another way. It has the power to disrupt the cycle of avoidance and vengeance, replacing them with more positive and benevolent attitudes and behaviors. Forgiveness is NOT: Reconciliation – it does not necessarily involve a re-establishment of the relationship. Condoning – which implies justifying, minimizing or tolerating the hurt Excusing – offering extenuating circumstances or a “good reason” or denying the harm. Forgetting – often to really forgive we must ponder the hurt. FORGIVENESS is a SHIFT IN THINKING. Decreasing the desire for harming the perpetrator and increasing the desire to do him good. Even that it appears to be the most difficult thing to do humanly, it yields the greatest benefits in health, emotional well-being and in deepening our sense of humanity. How do we practice Forgiveness? Sonja Lyubomirsky in her research suggest the following: 1. Appreciate being forgiven – Recall when someone forgave you. 2. Seek Forgiveness – write a letter of apology or tell them in person. 3. Imagine Forgiveness – Engage in an imagination exercise where you imagine empathizing with that person and granting them forgiveness. 4. Write a letter of forgiveness –This one need not be sent, but the practice of writing down how you feel and letting go of the anger, can help you. 5. Practice Empathy in general – try seeing things from others perspectives. 6. Consider Charitable Attributions – one way to do this is to write a letter you would like to receive from the transgressor asking for forgiveness. 7. Ruminate Less – Pondering how much these things hurt over and over again, only makes it hurt even more. 8. Make Contact - Making a positive contact with this person Be prepare.They may not think they did anything wrong.You are doing it for yourself but it may save or make a relationship Maynard Manzano #Thehowofhappiness #forgiveness

#forgiveness #thehowofhappiness

STRATEGIES FOR COPING. Lets face it. If we are alive we are likely to have traumatic experiences from disasters, violence and death during our life time. The key is how we are going to cope with them to recover or even thrive with a renewed sense of self. Our greater sense of happiness depend on it. Coping is what we do to alleviate the hurt or stress caused by negative events or situations. Two types of coping are typical. Problem focused and emotion focused are applied based on personality or situation type. With problem focused coping people tend to act – They deal with it. With emotion Focused coping people tend to want to simply manage their emotions around the event. Both are useful. Lyubomirsky also mentions Post Traumatic Growth which is construing benefit from the situation and we can actually find benefit and even thrive after times of trauma or hardship. How can we develop strategies for coping? 1. Finding Meaning through creative writing. Writing about distressful experience and expressing your deepest emotions reduces the intensity of the experience. 2. Finding benefit in trauma through writing or conversation. 3. Copying via disputation. Challenging our own pessimistic thoughts using ABCDE method. (Adversity,Belief,Consequences, Disputation,Energization) 4. Social support is one of the mos powerful strategies for coping. Connect to others that can support you. Until next time Maynard Manzano ‪#‎Thehowofhappiness‬ ‪#‎Developingstrategiesforcoping‬ ‪#‎Happiness‬ ‪#‎Posttraumaticgrowth‬ ‪#‎Lyubomirsky‬

STRATEGIES FOR COPING. Lets face it. If we are alive we are likely to have traumatic experiences from disasters, violence and death during our life time. The key is how we are going to cope with them to recover or even thrive with a renewed sense of self. Our greater sense of happiness depend on it. Coping is what we do to alleviate the hurt or stress caused by negative events or situations. Two types of coping are typical. Problem focused and emotion focused are applied based on personality or situation type. With problem focused coping people tend to act – They deal with it. With emotion Focused coping people tend to want to simply manage their emotions around the event. Both are useful. Lyubomirsky also mentions Post Traumatic Growth which is construing benefit from the situation and we can actually find benefit and even thrive after times of trauma or hardship. How can we develop strategies for coping? 1. Finding Meaning through creative writing. Writing about distressful experience and expressing your deepest emotions reduces the intensity of the experience. 2.Finding benefit in trauma through writing or conversation. 3.Copying via disputation. Challenging our own pessimistic thoughts using ABCDE method. (Adversity,Belief,Consequences, Disputation,Energize) 4. Social support is one of the mos powerful strategies for coping. Connect to others that can support you. Until next time Maynard Manzano #Thehowofhappiness #Developingstrategiesforcoping #Happiness #Posttraumaticgrowth #Lyubomirsky

#developingstrategiesforcoping #thehowofhappiness #posttraumaticgrowth #happiness #lyubomirsky

STRATEGIES FOR COPING. Lets face it. If we are alive we are likely to have traumatic experiences from disasters, violence and death during our life time. The key is how we are going to cope with them to recover or even thrive with a renewed sense of self. Our greater sense of happiness depend on it. Coping is what we do to alleviate the hurt or stress caused by negative events or situations. Two types of coping are typical. Problem focused and emotion focused are applied based on personality or situation type. With problem focused coping people tend to act – They deal with it. With emotion Focused coping people tend to want to simply manage their emotions around the event. Both are useful. Lyubomirsky also mentions Post Traumatic Growth which is construing benefit from the situation and we can actually find benefit and even thrive after times of trauma or hardship. How can we develop strategies for coping? 1. Finding Meaning through creative writing. Writing about distressful experience and expressing your deepest emotions reduces the intensity of the experience. 2.Finding benefit in trauma through writing or conversation. 3.Copying via disputation. Challenging our own pessimistic thoughts using ABCDE method. (Adversity,Belief,Consequences, Disputation,Energization) 4. Social support is one of the mos powerful strategies for coping. Connect to others that can support you. Until next time Maynard Manzano #The how of happiness #Developing strategies for coping #Happiness #Post traumatic growth # Lyubomirsky #Finding Meaning

#finding #the #post #happiness #developing

NURTURING SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS. The studies have found that people who have a good social support system tend to be happier, healthier and also live longer. Among the social groups that have exceptional long and healthy lives "putting family first" and "keeping socially engaged" are crucial in their communities. HOW can we Nurture Social Relationships? 1.Expressing admiration, appreciation, and affection often and directly (no email!) for best effect. 2.The Losada Line- keeping relationships strong requires a positive to negative comments ratio of 3:1 or ideally 6:1. 3.Celebrate your friends successes. More than a "good job" comment. truly celebrate with them, make it an occasion, this will boost your happiness and theirs. 4. Manage Conflict. Patterns of conflict are very common. They start in disagreement, Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. Listening, eye-contact, acknowledgement and even light humor may help to deescalate harshness and tension. 5. Make time, simply being there for someone can make the difference. 6. Hugs can go a long way in support. 7. Communicate. Talking constructively reveals thoughts and feelings that can bridge relationships. Until next time. Maynard Manzano 887FA746-102A-4CB7-9635-FB82313D8BF4

ACTS OF KINDNESS. We are wired to be kind. That is part of the biochemistry of our social survival. Our brains change as we perform kind acts. Our nervous system enables a state of growth and well-being by secreting hormones such as endorphins and oxytocin. The happy and the love-connection hormones. HOW to practice Kindness: 1.Start by being kind to yourself. Honor your life. 2. Intentionally pick one day of the week to do something kind and make it into a habit. Also be spontaneous by seizing the moment helping someone. Timing is the key. Not too little time not too much time. 3.Variaty. mix up what you do in terms of your kind acts, this will keep you interested and motivated. 4. Pay it forward â If someone does something nice for you, pass it on, not necessarily to the one who helped you, but to another who needs it. 5. Money or Time & Energy. If you are short on money, give time, if short on time, give money. Kindness will increase your level of happiness and well-being. Maynard Manzano

Avoiding Overthinking and Social Comparison. The phenomenon of overthinking is called self focused rumination. This goes like this:"I should have asked her out while I was at the phone with her.. I just couldn't...Maybe if I had said this..She probably would have said NO...".This self talk, never-ending loops of thoughts or questions ushers in a host of detrimental consequences from health issues to our ability to function socially. It robs us from concentration, initiative, motivation, self esteem. and energy. The same happens with downward or negative comparison."He makes more money than I do, she is smarter, thinner, richer" We always are going to find lack in ourselves no matter how wealthy or successful we are by taking this approach. HOW to avoid Overthinking and Social comparison? 1. Redirect your attention somewhere else. Distract yourself by finding an activity that really engages you. if those thoughts are persistent. Say out-loud or mentally STOP!, this may interrupt the pattern. 2. Make an appointment of.. say 15 minutes with your "rumination thinking". Every time they come back, tell yourself: "It's not time for your appointment yet". 3 Social Support. Talking to someone you trust will let you release those thoughts. Usually they have a new perspective. 4. Take some kind of action. Make a phone call, send a Resume, Take a walk with your pet. Help someone. 5. Avoid situations, places, people , environments that triggers that kind of thought patterns. Make a list to bring awareness. 6. Look at the big picture. Would this matter in 1-3-5-10 years? in my dead-bed? Until next time. Maynard Manzano

Optimism according to the dictionary is "A tendency to expect the best possible outcome or dwell on the most hopeful aspects of a situation." This tendency to expect a good outcome is not the negation of reality. It's about being perceptive to potential and working creatively to overcome the challenges that life presents. The practical optimist is intelligent and has a more hopeful attitude about life, promoting ACTION towards the achievement of goals or the resolution of problems. He/she looks for opportunities and positive changes,taking calculated risks considering setbacks as temporary stages of the process. About all, being optimistic is a CHOICE that leads us to adopt a growth mindset that permits us being more flexible, innovative and resilient for a healthier happier and more satisfying life. HOW to practice Optimism? 1.Best possible Self diary/meditation method. Write down what you life expect to be in 1-2-5 years.It's a training process, look online for best ways to use it. 2.Identify barrier thoughts. Write down your barrier thoughts with the idea to reinterpret them by asking yourself empowering questions such as: What else could this mean? Can anything good come from this? What can I learn from this? 3.Build optimism and resilience by focusing on your strengths. Identify your strengths and live in character. Take the FREE "VIA" survey to find your strengths http://www.viacharacter.org 4. Define success as a process that requires flexibility with realistic expectations. Apply this to all areas of your life. With Optimism and enthusiasm. Maynard Manzano

1. EXPRESSING GRATITUDE Expressing gratitude is much more than saying "Thank you". It is mainly a social emotion that connects us to the rest of humanity. When we genuinely express gratitude, there is a shift from scarcity consciousness to abundance consciousness. Life and everything that comes with it is a GIFT. Robert Edmmons defines GRATITUDE as "a felt sense of wonder, thankfulness, and appreciation for life." HOW....HOW...HOW... can we cultivate a sense of Gratitude? 1. Start a Gratitude journal. The more we look for things to be grateful the more our mind and brain tune in to that energy field. 2.Write a handwritten letter to someone you've never properly thanked. Taking the time to write by hand slows our mental chattering and let us reflect upon those people who contributed to our lives. 3. Say "I'm grateful for you," to everything you come in contact with, today. 4. Close your eyes and spend a few minutes with your hand on your heart, appreciating the gift of life. Your heart will send strong signals to your brain that will regenerate you and calm you down. 5. Call your family members and friends and let them know how you appreciate them. 6. Look in the mirror and say, "I appreciate you," Self love is the first expression of gratitude. 7. Send an immense feeling of love and gratitude to a force greater than yourself that interconnect you with everything else. Be creative and find more ways to develop the habit to be in the frequency of gratefulness. It will nurture you everyday and transform you. With Gratitude! Maynard Manzano

There is a HOW for Happiness. Surprisingly, life circumstances such as riches, beauty, social status, accounts for a limited influence on achieving happiness. If you cut a pie, this would represent only 10%. Socially we have been led to belief that achieving these things would make us happy, However, happiness is more an intrinsic process than things to achieve. Our set generic set point that generated from our biology accounts for 50% of the pie.This leaves us with 40% of our pie to work with, beyond our generic makeup or life circumstances.What is this 40% margin within our power to bring happiness to our lives?. It's OUR DAILY INTENTIONAL ACTIVITIES.The good news is that we can work diligently and consistently on the very behaviors and thought processes that can increase our level of happiness. Sonja Lyubomirsky formulates 12 strategies that we can implement in our daily lives. We do not have to implement them all, but it's important to engage consistently in as many strategies as possible. She points out that if we understand HOW and WHY these strategies work we are more likely to persist and engage in them. She describe five critical "HOWS" or mechanisms of ACTION : * Positive Emotions, * Optimal Timing and Variety, * Social Support, * Motivation,Effort and Commitment,* Habit. I will discuss each strategy in future posts. Strategies for Happiness: 1. Count your blessings, 2. Cultivate optimism 3. Avoid over-thinking and social comparison 4. Practice acts of kindness 5. Nurture relationships 6. Develop strategies for coping 7. Learn to forgive 8. Do more activities that truly engage you 9. Savoir life’s joys 10. Commit to your goals 11. Practice spirituality 12. Take care of your body Maynard Manzano

when you are living in alignment with your values & beliefs YOU COME ALIVE Maynard Manzano

When compared philosophically imagination is more important than knowledge,. however the ZAP of imagination burst from the foundation of knowledge. I see them as the horizontal and vertical axis of our possibility to GROW exponentially in a multidimensional universe. Maynard Manzano “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.” Albert Einstein

When compared philosophically imagination is more important than knowledge,. however the ZAP of imagination burst from the foundation of knowledge. I see them as the horizontal and vertical axis of our possibility to GROWING exponentially in a multidimensional universe. Maynard Manzano “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.” Albert Einstein C5F04FFC-822A-40F0-BA43-DC1C8FD486AC

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#10 posts #tumblr milestone

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