light the fuse

{ dorcas meadowes } nineteen ; former ravenclaw ; midwitch ; change maker < order member > dum vita est spes est

[coral]

One word Frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.

Sophocles (via feellng)

[downtoemmeline]

Visit Original Link

[mcadowcs-blog]

I can hold my breath

I can bite my tongue

I can stay awake for days

If that's what you want

Be your number one

[oswinsleaf]

[mcadowcs-blog]

Dorcas Meadowes - A Moodboard - MEADOWPIN / LUDOWES

"There's a universe inside your head."

"Well, if that's true, then you're the very first astronaut to ever dare venture into it and understand it."

[wordsnquotes]

Whatever you are physically…male or female, strong or weak, ill or healthy—all those things matter less than what your heart contains. If you have the soul of a warrior, you are a warrior. All those other things, they are the glass that contains the lamp, but you are the light inside.

 Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel

[mcadowcs-blog]

o children — dorcas & open

Exactly at eleven o'clock that evening did the little bundle of joy finally come out - after having to soothe his mother through a full day's worth of labor and a breech delivery, Dorcas was extremely thankful that the babe made its appearance. His face was scrunched up and pink, crying and punching and kicking the air as she had carried him to the table to check him up, as the other healers took care of his mother. There was no need to announce his gender as it was among the first things they found out - Dorcas made sure to cradle the little bundle as carefully as she could, knowing that one misstep could mean terrible things. 

"It's okay, buddy," She soothed, casting a cleaning charm on him as he continued to fuss on the soft surface. "Your mum and dad are right over there and they wanna see you - the sooner you stop fussing so much, the sooner I'll get you bundled up and over there."

As if understanding the deal that she had posed, the baby stopped squirming so much, only cooing and gurgling and sometimes trying to reach up for her face. This made Doe laugh - it was not only amusing but adorable to her that the babe seemed to understand and even accept her offer. It was one of the things she loved the most in her job - interacting with the babies that she helped deliver, cleaning them up and bundling them.

"Let's get you measured up, shall we?" She hummed, taking the tape measure and sizing it up to his little body; then weighed him on the scale, getting all the technicalities out of the way, wanting more than anything to do her favorite part of the job - handing the baby to his parents. In the two years of training that she's had, it's always been her favorite thing to do - there was just something so rewarding to give the parents their long awaited baby. Their faces would just show this beautiful mix of joy and instant love - it was the only kind of 'love at first sight' that Dorcas believed in. They also looked extremely floored - the baby in their arms was theirs and theirs alone - they made it, and now they're going to take care of it and love it 'till the end of their days.

Scooping up the infant into her arms, Dorcas took notice of his weight - of how light he was in her arms. There was this sense of longing that sprung up from inside of her - holding a baby in her arms just felt right. No, not just right - perfect. Because children had always been in her master-plan in life, having always been the mothering type. Doe had always dreamed of being a mother - it was one of the things in life that she was sure-fire confident that she would be good at. She walked towards the bed, a big smile on her face as she passed the little darling to his mother.

"He's perfect, just perfect. Seven pounds, eight ounces. Sixteen inches, ten toes and fingers - no complications." Yet another thing she loved saying - no complications. She had dealt with many a sickly baby, many of which she couldn't hand back to the parents because they had to be whisked away for treatment. But when the baby was all well and good, there was no need to put the happiness and celebration on hold. "Be a great, little man - and congratulations." Dorcas said, giving the parents a meaningful look who beamed back at her with smiles from ear to ear - tired smiles, but joyful smiles nonetheless.

But as she turned around and walked out of the room to give the new family some time, there was a familiar clench in her heart. That baby boy had just been born to a wartorn world that was just going to get worse. Dorcas made a mental note to add the little angel and his family to her already long list of people she was fighting for. She made a vow that that kid and perhaps any of her own future kids would never have to live through a war. They'd deal with it and finish it, eradicate the fighting and the evil and never allow the next generation to shoulder the war they fought in. With a sigh, Dorcas took the lift downstairs to where the few shops were, seeking a cup of coffee. Merlin, she was tired. All she wanted to do was go to sleep at that moment - but she wasn't going to get home anytime soon. She got her cup of coffee, the usual without any sugar and only a bit of cream, and began walking, quite a bit bleary eyed.

All of a sudden she found her hands and the frontside of her uniform covered in coffee, instantly waking her up. And to her luck, she had bumped into someone and poured some on them too. "I'm awfully sorry, I-I didn't know you were - I wasn't looking where I was going." She apologized.

[timelordgifs]

[mcadowcs-blog]

死

"She’s not breathing,"

There was an unmistakable quake in her voice, her hands shaking as she grabbed Marlene’s pale neck and felt for a pulse - there was nothing. She tried the wrist - but there was no familiar thumping that she felt under her fingers, no matter where she tried to position herself. “No, no,” Dorcas violently shook her head, pressing her ear to where the McKinnon’s heart was, a sob getting trapped in her throat, only managing to come out halfway, pressing her ear harder onto the blonde’s chest as if it would make a difference. As if she would hear her heartbeat.

"She’s not breathing, d a m m i t !"

Dorcas - a young woman of quite the composure, rarely known to burst out. But in that moment, she did - like a time bomb, she was destined to blow up - the countdown starting as soon as they reached the McKinnon home. There was this heavy weight in the pit of her stomach - she knew deatheaters had been there so she knew there would have been an attack. Dorcas held onto hope that Marlene would be alright - she was a fighter, she was the girl that inspired Doe to keep being brave.

But it all crumbled when she saw her body lying there, right before her eyes.

At first she was in disbelief, frozen in her spot - there was an unstoppable shaking in her fingertips, having to need to steady herself, her eyes hazy with tears after seeing Marlene's family, scattered on the floor in the entrance, in the halls, with no trace of life in them. Though, when someone else surged forward to check if she was still alive, Dorcas pushed past them and went herself. She had tried shaking her, as if doing so would bring life back into her body. But it just didn’t work like that.

One sob. Then another. Then another, followed by a wave of tears. It didn’t seem like she could stop. “Please, Marley,” She pleaded through tears. But pleading wouldn’t get her anywhere.

It took perhaps two or three other Order Members to pry her off of Marlene, her face tear-stained and blotchy, a fire in her eyes as she demanded to be let go. There was a hollowness in her chest as she cried some more, to herself, her arms around her sides as if she were about to come undone - she couldn’t even fathom how she was going to tell Mary - how she was going to tell Lily. How could she live with herself, that now there was another life lost - a friend, a sister - a person she really, truly loved.

A person she couldn’t protect.

[timelordgifs]

[inboxmemethings-deactivated2015]

Send me a ⌘ to hear what my muse's last words to yours would be.

[newspaperrealities]

[mcadowcs-blog]

After a particularly tiring evening out at town for Lily's stagette party ( belated stagette, in exact, due to the impromptu-ness of the wedding - and all of them came to a unanimous decision that Lily had to have a stagette ), all four of the girls camped out in Dorcas' rather cluttered kitchen/living area. Drunk and giggling, the girls hauled out the mattress from her bed, threw down blankets and pillows and made a fort. They were like kids again - pillow fights, gossiping, doing up each other's hair - it was like the war didn't exist. The free souls that they once were in their schooling years came out and the entire time they laughed 'till their stomachs hurt. It was a night that they forgot about the fact that they were grown women with jobs that lived in a horrible reality. One night, they were sisters, best friends - just being them. 

As the extremely early riser that she was, Dorcas was up first (partly because Lily was kicking her, Marlene was sleep-talking and Mary was snoring) - and took the chance to take a photo. No, she wouldn't wave it around and use it as blackmail material later on - but instead, she wanted to keep it. They were her sisters in all but blood, and seeing them relaxed and in the throes of dreamland, so peaceful with no worries or sadness etched on their beautiful faces - she didn't know when the next time she'd see them all like this was.

So she seized the moment and captured it.

[coral]

Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.

August Wilson

[mcadowcs-blog]

nowhere to hide — doe & alice

[daveyedwards-blog]

Mad. Of course it was mad. This whole thing was insane. The root of the problem, the cause of the war, this mission itself — it was all crazy. But they had to fight on. Even if they were open targets, even if they broke a leg jumping — the war went on, and so did they.

Dorcas’ agreement was all Alice needed. With a nod, she steadied her arm, taking a deep breath. “Confringo!” she yelled, covering her face as the ceiling above them exploded and showered rubble down. Once it had fallen, she shouted, “Ascendio!”, landing in a crouch on the floor above. The hole was blackened and dusty, but it would heelp get them out.

"We’re going to have to move fast," she told Dorcas, aiming above their heads again. "In case you hadn’t noticed, I think we’ve given our location away." She could already hear shouts and footsteps, but each floor gave them a new element of surprise.

She didn’t know how many floors there were. All she could do was repeat ‘Confringo’ and ‘Ascendio’ until, finally, they could see open sky. “One more to go!” she told Dorcas, coughing some dust out of her lungs  as she did so. She’d need a healer after this.

A final shout of ‘Ascendio!’ had her out of the roof, landing painfully on her ankle. But the adrenaline and the pure relief was all Alice could think about, and she began hobbling towards the edge of the rooftop before Dorcas had even appeared.

Below was a drop further than Alice could ever have imagined. Covered in dust, her lungs straining, Alice knew what she had to do. “A cushioning charm and aresto momentum… It’s the only way down.” As Dorcas joined her, Alice pointed her wand at the ground. “We haven’t got long before they get here. You jump first. I’ll slow you down, but be prepared. Just — don’t think about it. You’re going to have to leap.”

[mcadowcs-blog]

As she watched Alice raise her wand above her head, Dorcas followed suit, her hand slightly shaking. She was like a little girl waiting for instructions from an adult, having to play follow the leader in order to get it right. But now was an adult too - and, sucking in a breath as the rubble fell on them, covering her face as to protect her vision and all other senses from being bombarded by bits and pieces of stone and marble. Once it was clear, she saw as Alice had already gone ahead of her and had soared through the hole in the ceiling - and without a second thought, the brunette did the same, landing in a rather wobbly stance on the floor above.

Barely getting time to recover and steady herself, she already nodded at Alice's words. They had to move fast - now they were on their trail, and perhaps in a second they'd get to the two of them. "We can't let them catch us," Dorcas huffed, and pointed her wand at the ceiling, the flurry of rubble followed by a shout of Ascendio repeated again, to get her onto the next floor.

Some floors it took one of them to cast Confringo, the ceiling caving easy, but on others they both had to do it in order to explode the ceiling. Sometimes she didn't have time to cover her face or nose when the ceiling burst, breathing in the disgusting dust, causing her to be coughing by the time they got to see the sky. Dorcas found herself choked up, her eyes slightly teary eyed from all the damn dust and rubble, but she was thankful to finally see the open sky. But it was short lived - once they got there they had to jump.

Never having been a fan of heights, Doe's heart hammered in her chest like a rabbit who was trying to kick its way out - fast and hard, it felt like it was about to leap out of her. Taking a heaving, shaking breath, followed by a cough, Dorcas stood on the edge of the building, pointing her wand to the ground below where she cast a cushioning charm. And as Alice had told her to jump first, she couldn't help but feel her heart tighten a bit. Perhaps it was just camaraderie that had been built between them by being in the Order or how she could have seen how nervous she was about the fall - but Alice wanted her to go first, and that would mean her getting to safety first. "Don't think about it," She repeated the auror's words, one foot raised and the other ready to push her body and jump. "Don't think about it," The brunette shut her eyes as she finally pushed off from the ledge, finding herself unable to scream as she cut through the air. She felt herself slow down and almost a beat too late hurriedly said, "Arresto momentum!". She froze in the air for a bit, then landed on the ground. Thankfully, it wasn't as hard of a fall as she had imagined - but she knew she wouldn't leave without some scrapes and scratches.

Dorcas wanted nothing more than to run to a safer place and apparate there - but she couldn't leave Alice. They came as a team and would leave as a team, no matter what. She scrambled to her feet, a pain on her front side where she had landed on, frantically looking around herself to make sure there wasn't anyone coming, before calling out to Alice. "Jump!" She wasn't sure she had heard her, but readied herself by casting another cushioning charm to hopefully make her fall less painful than hers. and raised her wand, ready to protect herself and to slow Alice's fall.

[exblackwatchagent-deactivated20]

Headcanon Meme

☾ : Sleep headcanon

☠ : Drinking/drunk headcanon

☼ : Childhood headcanon

☯ : Genderbent headcanon

⋆ : Sex headcanon

☮ : Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

☄ : Any AU headcanon (modern, school, medieval, and so on)

♤ :  Cooking headcanon

⊕ : Talents/hobbies headcanon

☻ : Mood headcanon

✚ : health headcanon

✿ : happiness headcanon

✖ : anger headcanon

♆ : body headcanon

ϡ : mental state headcanon

ღ : love or sexuality headcanon

♡ : relationship with (give name or url)

† : religion headcanon

✄ : pet peeve headcanon

☂ : food headcanon

♒ : Any other question of your choosing

[kqgraphics]

gryffindor girls + name meanings & origin

[mcadowcs-blog]

a little less lonely — doe & remus

[theflowxrqueen-blog]

Hearing Dorcas laugh was definitely refreshing, as it was something that wasn’t often heard both in these times and in his own household. But it seemed as though she lit up the room with her smile, and it was odd to Remus that he hadn’t gotten to know her very well before this morning’s incident. “Well, you’re welcome here for coffee and scones any time, my privilege. They don’t even have to be blueberries— or scones for that matter— if there’s something else you prefer, I mean.”

Remus quickly found himself returning the laughter, watching Dorcas demonstrate her words. “I don’t think that makes you neanderthals, believe me— my mother praised manners with her whole being, if you put your elbows on the table she’d throw her napkin at me.” It was very much true, for the earlier part of Remus’ life manners and composure were very important. Although the ‘napkin-throwing’ was never in a hurtful way, it was always a humorous thing and was taken very lightly. Luckily for Remus, he built up very good and long-lasting morals.

"Eh— I’ve never really been one for coffee." He shrugged, his voice softening slightly. Drinks weren’t very important to him— in fact, tea was the only thing he cared about enthusiastically. "I’m more of a food person," Remus added after a moment. "Hence the uh, recipes part." Most of his childhood was routine, oddly enough, and Sundays were baking day. His father would stay home and his mother would break out some unknown recipe— either that, or her favorite recipe: apple pie. It only seemed fitting that it became Remus’ favorite dessert as well.

Twirling his fork, he nodded. “Sometimes I wonder how parents know what to do— how do they know when to discipline and when to comfort? How do they know what will make their child happy?” For a moment, he stopped moving his fork, staring down at the scone almost solemnly. “I dunno, parents just seem to have all the answers— it doesn’t make sense to me.”

[mcadowcs-blog]

"Sounds good to me," She said, cheerily as ever. She enjoyed being in Remus' company, and was glad she would be welcomed more times. Having been welcomed into many homes, those belonging to her friends' and the many people she's befriended in the past, it was still quite exciting to be invited to a new one. Dorcas put in a mental note to visit another time when her schedule got freed up. "Or, instead of always crashing into Hotel au Lupin — Hotel au Meadowes is also very much open for visitors,"

As he laughed along and said what he said, Dorcas shook her head. "Oh believe me, we are quite the uncivilized bunch. My little brother ate spaghetti with his hands until he was ten," She shook her head again, remembering the memory fondly. She didn't know if she was going to tell him that she did the same thing as a kid.

"No?" She asked, tilting her head to the side. She then nodded her head as he told her that he was more of a food person. Dorcas was the exact opposite - she did love food and enjoyed eating, but drinks were more of the highlight to anything she did. Whatever she did, she would tote around a drink wherever she went - going out the door in the morning, on the job, coming home, and of course, at meals. Doe smiled warmly as he mentioned the recipes again.

Taking a sip of her coffee, careful not to slurp, she then put down the now empty cup and shrugged, the warm smile still on her lips. "I don't know, I think it just comes. My mum and dad told me that before they had kids, they were wild and all over the place. But they got their act together and raised us pretty good," Nodding her head, she took off another piece of her scone. "Apparently it just comes naturally, which is kind of scary. I mean, there are always flukes, right? What if it doesn't come naturally to you? What do you do?" Dorcas mused, voicing out questions that she hadn't asked in a long while. And these weren't just random musings - they were actual thoughts, even worries, that danced around in her mind - after all, Dorcas knew that after the war, what she wanted more than anything was to have a family of her own, to raise and love. But she often wondered if she would be good enough, loving enough to become a parent. "I admire 'em," She said, as if in response to his statement. "Someday I can only hope to know as much as they do."

[samxcamargo]

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others. For beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness. And for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are not alone.

Audrey Hepburn