𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐬 /﹩

i DON’T want a good girl, i been rolling with the BADDEST. she told me she models & she told me she an actress ! talkin’ about her, she been EVERYWHERE up on the atlas. doesn't make a difference, she still END UP on my mattress. fuck your fifteen minutes, i'm the ( MAN OF THE HOUR ). no more room up in my bed, let's take it to the shower. talking how she love me & she don't want me without her ; you don't love me, you just love my money / my power. hey, cause girl i'm on.

[mclvma]

@perrieedwards: @maluma y'know what ? if i was a bloke i'd do the same so ... fair enough, go for it

@maluma: @perrieedwards ' cause i'm a man ' is about to be my justification for /everything/. thanks for agreeing :)

[mclvma]

sofia.

              don’t act like that. like i’m a horrible person. we were KIDS. that’s it. we do stupid shit, we act selfishly. would i do the same thing again ? no. i wouldn’t. does that make you happy, hearing that ? but undying love ? that’s not the case here. and you know that. so stop playing this game with me. you better keep things platonic, juan. because all you’re getting here is rejection. and that’s exhausting. for both of us. 

             i’m not actin’ like anything, sofia, i’m just callin’ shit as it is. SIMPLE. see, was that so hard for you to admit ? after all these years, this is the moment that i’ve been waitin’ for. so, thanks. i’m actually over the fuckin’ moon right now .... but, of course, there ‘ya go droppin’ me right back on my ass. i don’t know, you say that now n’ all it takes is that one time for you to slip up n’ change your mind. don’t sleep on me just yet.

[mclvma]

selena.

says you. it’s the ONLY thing you have the capability to talk about and stay focused about might i add. nope, not even square one. glad you caught that ! i’m not with any of my exs and there is a very obvious reason for that. birds of a feather flock together, ya know ? you guys should be besties. because you love crawling back up my ass when i’m well and over it all. she’s married but yeah, sure. totally. but… i can name about three things you’ve ruined ? i don’t know, all of your ‘i’m an amazing person’ arguments kind of suck.

that’s NOT what i was gettin’ at, but thanks for havin’ all the faith in the world when it comes to me. really. this square zero won’t last long either, my love. just wait on it. well, if there’s any ex that rightfully deserves his second chance then it’s me. why ? because. you never know what you had until you lose it, and i royally fucked up. i know that. sayin’ you’re over it, and actually being over it is actually two different things. sorry to burst your bubble. name ‘em, maybe then i’ll start takin’ responsibility for my shit. i’ll wait. alright, that one actually hurt me. come for me, babygirl, not my arguments. 

[mclvma]

perrie.

in what world are you making sure my life is peaches and cream ? i’ve seen absolutely ZERO examples of this. you know more people who matter than just me, that’s false. oh … well, i don’t know, surely you can get some pancakes delivered to you from somewhere ? what’re you doing for yourself ? adding to your perrie edwards shrine ? january is nothing compared to july, july is sunshine and loveliness. you’re… sex appeal and annoying-ness. there ! i mean, i don’t wanna be that predictable, i’ll put you in your place when i feel like it. i bet you anything you couldn’t go that long without getting into shit. i BET you. 

are you kiddin’ me ? that was the biggest ‘ fuck you, juan ’ if i’ve ever seen one ─── and trust me, i’ve seen PLENTY of ‘em within my lifetime. but this, this one hurt way too much for me to lie about. i dunno, p, the list is gettin’ shorter and shorter by the day. true, maybe i should have my fans come bring me something. good idea ? oh, of course, got it all hooked up for my own personal viewin’ pleasures. wow, so what’s january then ? i will happily take that, my love. nice to know i can push all of your buttons, honestly. shit, alright, nice way to keep me in check. i like where this is going now, p, keep it up ! really ? seven days from today then. you’re ON.

[mclvma]

selena.

maybe if sex WASN’T on your mind, we would be a lot further than we are right now. but look at us, back at square zero. there’s one specific ex boyfriend that makes me highly doubt that. i should of, but i’m giving you a truce moment while i’m out of the country to go and get your shit. my friend is looking over my house and dog so she will let you in. if you don’t want it, then consider it lit up. i’m not lying… if you ruin this for me, i M I G H T kill you. 1,000 dollars.

you know that’s not the ONLY thing on my mind, selena, or else we wouldn’t be  here right now. damn, not even square one ? shit. well, that ex-boyfriend really doesn’t compare to me. i mean, are you with him ? exactly. oi, you clearly aren’t lettin’ this shit go anytime soon. tell your friend that i’m comin’ over soon, n’ to make sure she keeps her hands to herself. i know i’m a good look, alright. i don’t need her flingin’ herself onto me, like it usually does. no worries, i don’t ruin things anyway. i make ‘em B E T T E R. that’s nothing.

[mclvma]

sofia.

            i get that i let you down all those years ago. okay ? i do. was it KIND of me to show up to colombia with another boy ? no. it wasn’t. but i was young, juan, and stupid. we both were. what we had was really beautiful. i’m not denying that i didn’t keep a special piece of my heart for you. you were my first love. that’s in the past, though. where it belongs. so if you can’t just … be my friend and keep it strictly platonic, i don’t know what else to say to you. lo siento. 

            hold on a second, am i processin’ this correctly, or am i being delusional again ? sofia carson, apologizin’ ? that’s CRAZY. but, uh, i’m happy you’ve finally come to your senses after all of this time. you’ve gotten this far with your feelings, ain’t there some ‘ i have an undyin’ love for you ’ sort of thing comin’ on soon ? either way, i got what i came here for. i was your first fuckin’ love, wow. ‘n you expect me to keep things platonic after that ? muy, muy difícil de hacer, but i’ll try. 

[mclvma]

@perrieedwards: @maluma i just hide mine with a nice smile :)

@maluma: @perrieedwards and i hide mine with no shirt on cause that's a good distraction :)

[mclvma]

perrie.

i don’t know, i kind of want to see you sweat a little bit, so if it did get out then i wouldn’t be too upset about it, sorry ? maybe you could genuinely get to know some people ! so what ? go get some pancakes ! aren’t you holed up in some hotel right now anyway ? room service is callin’. whatever, i won’t take you to any of the cool ‘july birthday only’ clubs i know then. hey ! i can bring sex appeal as well as sass ! i did just back it up ! fine, a chastity belt it is. honestly i want to know how long you could last without sex, it’d be like a social experiment. 

again, why would you want that life for me ? i’m makin’ sure your life is all peaches n’ cream here, p, i should be gettin’ the same back. i know you, n’ that pretty much sums up the people who matter. as much as i wish i wasn’t home, i’m currently livin’ the dream, which means doing things for myself. i know, i’m surprised too. my birthday already passed though, n’ it’s clear january is the superior month. sorry. fine, but i have to bring something too .. what’s my something ? this is your chance to put me in my place, my love. c’mon, i could probably go an entire week without gettin’ into shit. i think. 

[mclvma]

selena.

rocked is definitely a way to put it. uh… but i wouldn’t say in an overall P O S I T I V E way. speaking of leaving things, i still have a really ugly box in my closet with your name on it. please come get your shit. no, it’s someone else. someone ten times better than the both of you combined. wanna bet ?

oh, i see. that’s okay too, i mean, i would use it in a S E X U A L way more than anything. okay, rude, everythin’ in there costs more than your ex-boyfriends combined. n’ i’m surprised you haven’t lit that shit up after all this time .... which means you really do care about me. i’m honored. oi, hard to believe you when all you’re doin’ is lying. let’s do it, ma. how much ?

[mclvma]

sophie.

i don’t know, i feel like i should’ve asked for the mathematic specificities now, just for my own enjoyment, obviously ! purely to impress me ? knew it ! consider me impressed.

you just want me to make a complete ass of myself, don’t you ? jokes on you though, my love, i do that all by myself. see, there’s nothin’ more i could possibly want from life when you’re sayin’ that. just saying.

[mclvma]

sofia.

          what the hell HAPPENED to you ? my god, this is almost … borderline hysterical, just as much as it is tragic. i thought i loved you, teenaged sofia thought a lot of things. it was just infatuation, juan. and i didn’t push you away, i was just living my life. i saw you — what ? three months out of every year and i was expected to just be only your’s ? i’m not breaking up with him. especially not for you. because who cares about being insufferable these days, right ? lo siento, te lastimé hace tantos años, juan. pero tu comportamiento es ridículo.

          no fair, i was JUST askin’ you that same question n’ you played it off. there’s no way i’m lettin’ you spin this one on me, sofia. see, you’re sayin’ that but it’s not clickin’ in my head. i saw how you looked at me, how you touched me, it’s more than just that. but hey, i’ll let ‘ya think whatever you want. shit, you weren’t ? now i feel like i need to make up for the time i spent savin’ up my ‘lil friends for you. that’s crazy. not me, i mean, i’m still not goin’ anywhere until you really, truly want me to. you don’t want that. si realmente lo lamentas, entonces dejarías de hacer esto. deja de evitarme, sé que realmente no te sientes así por mí.

[mclvma]

@perrieedwards: @maluma i mean obviously you still have to wear it :) otherwise i'll destroy yours :)

@maluma: @perrieedwards now i get why we're super close, mi linda flor :) you're just as evil as me and i love it :)

[mclvma]

perrie.

that’s a big lie, i can get anything i want out of you and we both know it. so the modesty is specifically for certain people then ? god, that’s exactly why i keep you around. sneakers and pancakes sounds like the dream. excuse me, you’re literally younger by like… seven months. that’s barely ANYTHING ! i’ll do the high notes, you can do… all the other things. everything else is you. yep, i mean, i presume so anyway. i told you i’d give you a taste of your own medicine, i have to betray you a little bit otherwise where’s the fun ? i’m glad you can rise to the occasion, otherwise i’d be kinda concerned for you. gross. i’m going to invest in a really good belt for you. 

hey, hey, hey ! do you have any idea as to what would happen if this got out ? people would be expectin’ things from me, and that’s not good. one or two people, yeah. even then it’s hard to resist this. i could really go for some pancakes right now, thank you. you did this. barely, which means it’s still SOMETHING n’ that should count. you bring the sass, i’ll bring the sex appeal ... everyone goes home happy. or, you could be the one person who doesn’t want to cause me any form of pain ! i, personally, think that’s all the fun in the world right there, no ? if you’re going to talk a big game then you HAVE to back it up, so, i’m doin’ my job here. a chastity belt ? maybe one with a string of barbed wire hangin’ off ? think about it.

[mclvma]

@perrieedwards: @maluma only if you get a bedazzled little mix sweater too :)

@maluma: @perrieedwards you didn't say wear, so it'll happily be /somewhere/ in my closet :)

[mclvma]

camila.

one of a kind seems to fit you more than most. exactly and who wants to be just sitting at home twiddling with their fingers all day. i think i might be able to manage though you may need to help me get through it cause i don’t think i can do it alone. it works like that most times, it sucks because you try and try then you’re the only one losing. well thank you for that, i really try my best. they should all be scared about you. good, i’ll hold you to that. and how are you planning on testing this?

thanks, ma, i’m thrilled knowin’ there’s someone other than myself who thinks so. there’s a couple people who enjoy sittin’ on their ass all day, super unfortunate. at least you’re honest, mila, but i’ll definitely be there to guide ‘ya through the whole thing. that’s why sometimes ‘ya have to let people see what you want ‘em to. that way, are you really gettin’ hurt ? no. hey, don’t worry about it. they should, except i open my mouth n’ it’s way less intimidating. whoa, a true player of the game never reveals his secrets.

[mclvma]

sofia.

          yeah, see, this new version, it’s not really doing much for me ! this juan just stinks of desperation. the one i knew was captivating on his own merits. my point ? i don’t want to sleep with you ? i’m not breaking up with my boyfriend to sleep with you ? i’m not interested ? any of those answers working for you ? you’re RIGHT, it doesn’t but you have to stop acting like your god’s gift to earth. lo que habíamos pasado hace años. deja de arruinar lo que era.

          alright, now you’re just sayin’ whatever you have to in order to prove yourself. you know, prove the fact that someone’s still in love with me after these years. it’s okay, sofia, you don’t have to push me away again. although, i’m not askin’ you to break up with him i mean, unless you want to, then i definitely second that motion. no can do, babygirl, it only goes up for him. being humble doesn’t get you to the top, being ATTRACTIVE n’ talented does. tú eres el que lo arruina fingiendo que no sucedió. pero como sea, siempre soy el malo.

[mclvma]

selena.

kinda sorta. we L O V E obama on this side. he’s my forever president. hey ! don’t steal my president. i can avoid you forever and i will because.. estoy viendo a alguien. SO, that’s the end of that.

i’ll take it. huh, is that what you tell people about me ? i rocked your world a C O U P L E times. there’s no way i’m leavin’ without ‘em. sorry. hold on, ¿ quién es él ? i know it’s not that kid you call an ex. it’s FINE though, i’ll wait til’ you come crawlin’ back to me.