( ♥ — GIRL NEXT DOOR ;

[mcrgot]

“a funny movie, cuddles, and eating our weight in junk food doesn’t sound too bad, so i would love to take you up on that offer. the talking about it part, well, maybe that can wait until later. like way later. like after we’ve cried of laughter a couple of times and i’ve already had a whole pint of my favorite men: ben and jerry’s.”

“believe it or not, it’s one of the healthier ways to deal with your problems. better than drinking our weight in alcohol, you know? but i’ve got plenty of snacks at the house, including ben and jerry’s. i always stock up, they’re my favorite men, too. and we can talk about it whenever you want, babe. no rush.”

[mcrgot]

you want me to sweet talk you now, or do it later while i’m helping you study? i can do both if you’re that needy. you’re right– still hot, though. especially the whole ‘doing it just to please you’ part. i make a lot of stupid fucking tweets, babes, you’re gonna have to be a bit more specific. he’s got a strange obsession with whatever you and i get up to, you ever notice that? can’t complain about that answer, though. i could, but i wouldn’t exactly be surprised if you didn’t answer. save the sentiment for when these noodle arms are holding your hips down, yeah?

i am pretty needy, so i think that both would be much better. stroke my ego a little now, and more later, you know? why do i feel like you’re on the verge of popping a boner right now? has it really been that long since you’ve gotten laid, hayes? you’re slacking. you know what tweets i’m talking about, because they involved his girlfriend. his very real girlfriend. he just tries to watch out for me, but he doesn’t get that i’m fine with our... thing. i don’t know, i still don’t even know why you two got in a fight. why wouldn’t i answer you? don’t be stupid. mm, i’ll try. but who says they’ll be holding me down?

[mcrgot]

football trumps nickelback any day of the week, pup, but i’m not judging. i accept all of your flaws, whether it’s your love for nickelback or the slight crookedness in your nose. you could always give jeff gordon a blowie behind the wheel. he’s about the only person i’d trust. at least he drives professionally, despite being a little too old for you. i’ll have you know i lasted at least two minutes and i nearly got us rear ended in the process. worth it. fly on the wall my ass, you’d be the type to try and make me crash. frosting is actually disgusting, but i’ll choke it down if that means not eating moldy cake. besides, i’m not about to let you have all the fun. i’m getting you a vibrator for christmas. you’ll never need a man again.

you know that i’ve been to most of your games to support you, and i’ve never been to a nickelback concert. do they even go on tour? take that back. i showed your nose so much love, you can’t insult mine. jeff gordon looks like a creep, i wouldn’t want his dick anywhere near my mouth. that doesn’t sound worth it at all. you could have lasted five and not made the girl fear for her life. how would i try and make you crash? i don’t know what you mean. frosting’s not disgusting--- what’s wrong with you, harlan? that’s the best part of any cake, or cupcake. please don’t get me a vibrator for christmas. i really don’t need one, nor do i want one. 

[mcrgot]

“you’re right. it is a pretty good thing. good to know that you’ll be okay though. drink the pain away. how nice. i can’t have my sisters being completely boring. don’t just assume things then. you make things awkward for yourself. how about some tequila then, yeah?”

“of course, i don’t know any other way to solve your problems, do you? spending time at the library doesn’t make me boring. i do plenty of fun things to make up for it, i just like my quiet time. right--- yeah, let’s both stop assuming things, then. tequila works.”

[mcrgot]

“i’m not good at being fake for all that long, honestly. sorry to break your little heart. spend some time in somewhere other than the library and you’ll be all set. i’m fine with you there. it’s your house too. not my fault if you feel guilty for something. i’m not going to pull a prank on you. let’s just get some drinks, yeah?”

“that’s a good thing, though. but it’s okay, my heart will mend. one of these days. i’ll start spending less time at the library, just for you, pres. i just wasn’t sure if you were or not, but that’s good to hear. right, yeah, that sounds like a plan. pick your poison. i’m down for whatever.”

[mcrgot]

“well, it sounds like… a short vacation, you know? you had some time to enjoy this so called silence–or, discover that you actually cannot live without it constantly lecturing you. what i’m really curious to know, though, is what you actually wrote, because i’m in need of some advice now, and there really is no better person than you to ask for it. it’s good, because that means you’ve never had to struggle with coming up with a lie and all that, but the thought alone sounds quite challenging. like, have you really never been tempted to openly fake something? but there are different types on tackiness, i think. there’s the bad, ugly tackiness that actually makes your eyes roll backwards and then you’ve got the somewhat good tackiness–which, surprisingly enough, works. yeah, we should–though, i think billions is a better number here.”

“i think the voice helps, in a way. makes sure that you don’t let your guard down too easily, you know? because if we didn’t have it, we’d constantly be trusting the wrong people. now we only get played half of the time. well, i was nice. i just said i taped her mouth shut, i think. and tied her up to a chair or something. some people got violent and said they’d murder theirs. but maybe that would work better? i’ve faked an orgasm, we all have. and that takes a lot of skill. yeah, i think the good tackiness makes it feel more homemade, and people like that shit. they like thinking their mom or grandma could make it for them. billions, huh? now you’re getting ahead of yourself, thalia. but i do like you thinking positive.”

[mcrgot]

i really don’t want to waste my time fact checking whether a song is nickelback or not. i’m not a super fan like you are. really? i figured you’d be into shit like that. you can get decapitated that way, though, if the driver’s too distracted. one time. way back in high school. in hindsight, that was a terrible idea, because i’d just gotten my license. questionable shit is my specialty. i’m glad you’re very weathered when it comes to weed cake. if it even tastes remotely moldy, i’m condemning you and your cooking skills. you need to find a new drug dealer. i know a couple guys, if you need a better hook up. and no, not that kind of hook up.

some of us appreciate sports, others appreciate nickelback. you can’t judge me for my interests, harlan, that’s wrong. i’m not denying that i haven’t thought about it, or been interested in doing it, but i haven’t found someone i’d be willing to trust behind the wheel while i’ve got their dick in my mouth. god, i can just imagine baby you trying not to come within the first minute, while also attempting to drive a car. wish i could’ve been a fly on the wall for that one. stop--- the best way to cover up the taste is to add enough frosting. which means... i hope you like frosting, because there’s going to be more of that than actual cake. shut up, i don’t sleep with every guy. i have standards. and ways to relieve my own sexual frustration, if it comes down to it.

[mcrgot]

“yeah, that’ll be the hard part. i’m not even being serious to you myself so i’m not sure anyone would believe it. nothing is tense. i don’t know why you think it’s so tense. i’m fine with everyone. you might just be thinking too much into it, i guess. why would i even do that?”

“ouch. you could’ve kept up the facade a little longer, aurora. i knew you weren’t being serious, but i was pretending. i just didn’t think you wanted me there. like, you didn’t want to see me and stuff. but maybe, that’s very likely. a sorority prank?”

[mcrgot]

how many did you come up with– two? i can easily beat that. you’re hot when you’re pissed, you know that? tell me to fuck off again. it’s been a while, i could use a little refresher or two. and, presumably, the shit involved yours truly. what was it about? i haven’t been practicing much ‘cause you been busy, not my fault. didn’t fuck you over the first time, pumpkin, have some faith.

no, i think it was more than two. maybe... three. you gonna try, or you just gonna keep talking about it? fuck off, hayes. doesn’t mean as much when i’m saying it just to please you. it was something to do with your tweets. and then he asked if i’d fuck you again, and i might have said yes. not a good decision on my part. i haven’t been that busy. besides, you have my number, you can text me. i have some faith in those noodle arms, don’t you worry.

[mcrgot]

Do you know where Penelope is

I think that she’s leaving the rp because she’s busy with real life things! I’m sorry, babe.

[mcrgot]

“i really wish i could help you, but there really is no secret. this ‘voice’ isn’t something that comes with an off switch, so it’s not like you can do anything about it—other than learn how to ignore it, i think. it probably won’t make much difference, but you never know until you try. i know you do; it’s easy to hear sincerity in your voice–or, maybe you’re just too damn good at faking it, which i definitely have to give you mad props for. yeah, i’d absolutely love to. hell, they may eventually become some sort of a top trend, so we gotta make them as tacky as possible–which means that we need to be absolutely smashed when we get down to making them. huh, really? it sure sounds like a lot of fun.”

“i took a creative writing class my freshman year, and the professor told us to write a description of what we thought the voice looked like. then write out what we would do to silence the little voice. it worked, for a week or so. but that was it, really. then that fucker came back. but maybe i could try again, and it would stay gone this time. you never know, i guess. no, i’m being sincere. i’ve never been very good at faking anything --- or, at least, i can’t think of a time that i have. i’ve always been the person to wear my heart on my sleeve. you know, tacky is the thing now? like... the more tacky something is, the better. just look on etsy and pinterest and shit like that. guess we should start listening to roxanne and playing our game, then, so we can start making millions.”

[mcrgot]

“ look at you go ! but damn , you’re serious about education ? you’ll end up as one of those old dusty librarians if you do and i don’t advise it . as for parties , the entire campus seems to be dead , doesn’t mean we can’t have fun . “

“i know, it’s a shock, but some people actually go to college for an education. to better themselves and all that other bullshit i’m sure you don’t want to hear. probably, when i’m old, i’ll get a job as a librarian. but yeah? you’ve got my attention now. how do you suggest we have fun?”

[mcrgot]

we already tried that, remember? i got to watch you struggle for a solid five minutes. the last time i told you something was the truth you didn’t believe me, so that’s a good question. i think i’m going to have more fun seeing if you’re the one who can keep quiet, no need to worry about me. you’re right. what blew up this time? anything actually worthwhile? i haven’t used my hands for anything good in a while, that’s why. i’m the most sober drunk kid you’ll ever meet, and, no offense, but i’m sure you’re lighter than my backpack, so we’ll be fine.

look--- the struggle wasn’t because i don’t have nice things to say about you, it’s just hard when you have to think of them on the spot. you’d struggle just as much, if not more. shut up, i did believe you. i still believe you, so fuck off with that. we both know that i can keep quiet, hayes, i’m pretty sure you’ve tested that theory before. unless you’ve already forgotten? no, nothing worthwhile. just shit on twitter, i guess, which ended to him asking me something via text and getting mad at my answer. better get back to it, then, before you lose all your muscle. like flat stanley. see, this is another time i’m going to trust you. so you better not fuck me over.

[mcrgot]

vnnalise :

“fuck you, i’m not sharing my sister! forget it.”

“why the fuck not? you can’t tease me like that. share or i’m gonna do worse than the spaghetti, annie.”

[mcrgot]

honestly, i thought that was by creed. they sound identical, anyway. while we’re on the subject of blow jobs while driving, have you ever given road head? this has nothing to do with nickelback and everything to do with curiosity. i’m not a complete asshole, margot, of course i support ke$ha. it’s going to taste moldy, but i suppose that’s the sacrifice we’re gonna have to make. i’m your dork. fine, let your weed girl know that we need shit. see if she has a little coke, too. just for kicks.

i don’t think it is, but maybe it is? i’m not usually wrong, though, so you might wanna fact check it. um--- no, i’ve actually never given road head. never trusted someone enough. the last thing i need is to get into a car accident while a guy’s dick is in my mouth, you know? you ever receive road head? sometimes i just have to make sure. you say some questionable shit. after a few pieces, we won’t even be able to taste the difference, it’ll be fine. yeah, guess you are my dork. i’ll claim you. are you serious? because she probably does, but i’m not sure i’m ready to graduate to the hard stuff just yet.

[chasinxwaves]

“today sucks. this past week has sucked. and i can’t even bare the thought of tomorrow sucking. so please tell me you have some suggestions to help get me back into a good mood? please? i could really use them.”

[mcrgot]

“well, it’s always a good time to get our selective group together and let loose, y’know? but... seeing as you need a quick fix, there’s always going to my room, putting on a funny movie, and eating our weight in junk food. and cuddling me, of course. and, if you wanted, you could talk about whatever’s going on. but we don’t have to.” 

[mcrgot]

“well, there’s always gonna be a part of me that’ll doubt absolutely everything in this life; a significantly small one, though, when it comes to our relationship. and this may or may not have something to do with you showering me with compliments—like, i’m actually living for this. trust me, you’re alright; the words you say are actually making sense and don’t make you sound any less intelligent, so you’ve got nothing to worry about. okay, then you’re definitely the best one. just give me a few days to make, like, matching badges for us or something, alright? listen–i’m a self-admitted uncultured swine when it comes to music, so you can’t really blame me for not knowing about that.”

“okay, alright, that’s understandable. i’m the same way, there’s always that little voice in the back of my head that is telling me not to believe anything. i hate it, but i have yet to find a way to turn it off. i’ll have to keep showering you with compliments, then. and luckily for you, i mean every word i’m saying. you’re just nice to me, and i’m a loving person--- i can’t help myself. matching badges? we could do that together, if you wanted. a fun arts and craft project, i haven’t had one of those in years. i’m going to blame you a little, but, basically... he keeps saying roxanne, and put on the red light. the drinking game is every time he says either thing, you take a shot. you’ll be trashed before the end of the song.”