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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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JVL
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@wcres-blog
“The conflict is that he says I’m obsessed because I’m a girl, not because I have responsibilities that force me to be attached to my phone every second of the day. Believe me, if I had none, I wouldn’t be. Everything is fine though– why?”
“well, he’s just messing with you---as long as you show your irritation with his words, he’ll keep on doing this. that’s almost as easy as two plus two, you know? so you should probably just smile and tell him to fuck off--politely.”
“not very good, no. but it’s okay, T, i think i just need some serious R&R instead of verbal therapy, but thanks for trying.”
“you’re not getting off the hook that easily, though---so how about we combine these two things together? like, you could talk about something completely random to let go of your thoughts?”
“we both have different definition on what ‘original’ means, thal. yeah, next time i’ll try the old-fashioned way of hooking up.”
“can’t you just cut me some slack?? i’m trying my best to justify the girl’s actions here to make this whole situation seem less creepy. but since i’m nice -- unlike you, let’s be real -- i’m just gonna be happy with the fact that you’ve learned your lesson.”
‘ ugh, i know i’m complaining. i just haven’t had my four cups of coffee yet. you know, i didn’t think about chopping his head off, but that sounds like something i’ll have to do. i bought a pair of those headphones for a specific reason, but like the idiot that i am, i lost them. for all i know, i might have left them at home. ’
‘ i’m not judging you at all, though. i would’ve already taken care of this shit and made an even bigger mess in the process, so you’re handling this very well. have you actually tried looking for them in your room or are you just making assumptions here? these are two very different things, you know. ’
“i think the voice helps, in a way. makes sure that you don’t let your guard down too easily, you know? because if we didn’t have it, we’d constantly be trusting the wrong people. now we only get played half of the time. well, i was nice. i just said i taped her mouth shut, i think. and tied her up to a chair or something. some people got violent and said they’d murder theirs. but maybe that would work better? i’ve faked an orgasm, we all have. and that takes a lot of skill. yeah, i think the good tackiness makes it feel more homemade, and people like that shit. they like thinking their mom or grandma could make it for them. billions, huh? now you’re getting ahead of yourself, thalia. but i do like you thinking positive.”
“what if the voice doesn’t help at all and you end up trusting almost everyone who comes your way? like, just imagine that happening and tell me what you would do in this case; this is for science. i don’t know if it would work better, but for all we know the ‘voice’ is a part of your subconcious, so murdering it would be like killing a part of you. which, in my opinion, sounds a bit strange with all this ‘love yourself and your personality’ stuff being all over the place right now. ooh. now, tell me this -- on a scale of 1 to 10 how innapropriate would it be of me to ask for the details? nah, i’m not getting ahead of myself at all. not many people care about couture stuff nowadays; it’s all about the simplicity and uniqueness---which is exactly what homemade things are, in a nuthshell.”
{ @scmvel }
“So, my brother is getting on my last nerve– he said that I couldn’t go an entire day without using my phone. And you know what? I can’t! Do you know what would happen if I didn’t check it for an entire day? For starters, the world would probably end. Then I would miss all of the problems I need to solve in the house, any updates from my company, my mom would probably freak and think I died… Plus, who are we kidding here? He’s more obsessed with his phone than me. But because I’m a girl, I’m just like, totally, obsessed like, with my phone like. His words, not mine. Says the guy who can’t go an hour without sending me a buzzfeed video. Idiot.”
“to be honest, i don’t really see much of a conflict happening here. your brother accused you of being addicted to your phone, and you admitted to it---so to me, you look strangely... appaled by this assumption. is everything okay?”
“today sucks. this past week has sucked. and i can’t even bare the thought of tomorrow sucking. so please tell me you have some suggestions to help get me back into a good mood? please? i could really use them.”
“ah, honey, that’s not good at all. how about we start with you telling me what happened??”
‘ nothing’s worse than studying for your second to last final and staying up until nearly two in the morning to get it done. however, it got worse last night when my neighbor decided to have really loud sex. i shouldn’t be able to hear things that i shouldn’t hear. it’s gross and now i’m living on two hours of sleep. thanks, neighbor. ’
‘ umm... i’m sorry for you and all that, but you really can’t do much about it--i mean, you can chop off your neighbor’s sex partner’s head or stick a sock down their throat, sure, but i think it’d just be easier to get some earplugs. or a pair of noise-cancelling headphones, i don’t know. ’
“i took a creative writing class my freshman year, and the professor told us to write a description of what we thought the voice looked like. then write out what we would do to silence the little voice. it worked, for a week or so. but that was it, really. then that fucker came back. but maybe i could try again, and it would stay gone this time. you never know, i guess. no, i’m being sincere. i’ve never been very good at faking anything — or, at least, i can’t think of a time that i have. i’ve always been the person to wear my heart on my sleeve. you know, tacky is the thing now? like… the more tacky something is, the better. just look on etsy and pinterest and shit like that. guess we should start listening to roxanne and playing our game, then, so we can start making millions.”
“well, it sounds like... a short vacation, you know? you had some time to enjoy this so called silence--or, discover that you actually cannot live without it constantly lecturing you. what i’m really curious to know, though, is what you actually wrote, because i’m in need of some advice now, and there really is no better person than you to ask for it. it’s good, because that means you’ve never had to struggle with coming up with a lie and all that, but the thought alone sounds quite challenging. like, have you really never been tempted to openly fake something? but there are different types on tackiness, i think. there’s the bad, ugly tackiness that actually makes your eyes roll backwards and then you’ve got the somewhat good tackiness--which, surprisingly enough, works. yeah, we should--though, i think billions is a better number here.”
“ so this morning i caught a fuck ton of girls doing the walk of shame but with the amount of girls and variations of outfits , it was like a freakin’ catwalk , jesus . good thing i caught it all on camera , just need to know who the lucky guys are . “
“i really don’t know what’s more upsetting---the fact that you had to take pictures of those girls or that you didn’t get laid in the first place.”
( ft. @wcres )
“ thanks, it’s definitely a load of stress taken off my back. are you sure about that ? because i am a bit of a lightweight so too doesn’t go a long way with me. which is why i’m totally offering some if you want it. and by offering i mean begging but only lowkey. prepping wasn’t all that bad. ”
“yeah, because you don’t have many things to worry about now, and there’s a chance that you will not be able to adjust to such a drastic change. so really, you gotta take it slow, girl. i will join you–but i’ll probably just sit there and quietly take the smallest sips i can, because i’m not as lucky as you are. really, you’re making me slightly jealous over here.”
“okay, alright, that’s understandable. i’m the same way, there’s always that little voice in the back of my head that is telling me not to believe anything. i hate it, but i have yet to find a way to turn it off. i’ll have to keep showering you with compliments, then. and luckily for you, i mean every word i’m saying. you’re just nice to me, and i’m a loving person— i can’t help myself. matching badges? we could do that together, if you wanted. a fun arts and craft project, i haven’t had one of those in years. i’m going to blame you a little, but, basically… he keeps saying roxanne, and put on the red light. the drinking game is every time he says either thing, you take a shot. you’ll be trashed before the end of the song.”
“i really wish i could help you, but there really is no secret. this ‘voice’ isn’t something that comes with an off switch, so it’s not like you can do anything about it—other than learn how to ignore it, i think. it probably won’t make much difference, but you never know until you try. i know you do; it’s easy to hear sincerity in your voice–or, maybe you’re just too damn good at faking it, which i definitely have to give you mad props for. yeah, i’d absolutely love to. hell, they may eventually become some sort of a top trend, so we gotta make them as tacky as possible–which means that we need to be absolutely smashed when we get down to making them. huh, really? it sure sounds like a lot of fun.”
