Be Gay Do Crime

You flirt with everyone you see and people call you horny smh                  ♡Alex♡20♡she/her♡

[themusicalsky]

I had a realization

[sandersstudies]

My husband’s job primarily employs adult men but there is one (1) teenage girl and my husband said originally he worried she might be a bit of an outcast but instead every man on the crew was like “huh guess I am a dad/older brother now.”

[sandersstudies]

She was in a car crash on the way to work one morning and called my husband to let him know she’d be late and he was like wtf guess I’m gonna be late too because I’m coming to pick you up and then he told his team and they were like I think you mean WE are coming.

[hoonkus-deactivated20230701]

Imagine you are a teenage girl probably rushing to get to work and you crash your probably new car and feel absolutely miserable and now you’ll be late to work but then suddenly in the distance a car full of all the adult men you work with just pulls up and is like “we came all the way here to pick you up” the mental image right now is fr.

[sandersstudies]

Apparently she tried to call her dad but it was 3am and he was obviously sleeping so she called my husband and he not only came to find her but fished her glasses out of the hood of the car (she’d dropped them while looking inside), drove her to the hospital, and told her to take the day off. She insisted on coming back to work so he used his lunch break to watch TV with her to make sure she didn’t doze off (concussion risk).

You’ve heard of the Mom friend but my husband is very much the Dad friend. He said when he answered the phone she said “hey please don’t be mad” and he’s never felt such powerful Fatherhood energy in his life.

[deliciouspaintthinner]

Girl: *calls for aid*

Every single dad packed into the car:

[sandersstudies]

This is possibly my favorite response to this post

[i-like-to-think-that-im-cool]

This girls father: Thanks for helping my daughter out guys

Your husband and all his coworkers:

[peppermintpapers]

Who’s smart idea was this...

[orbdog]

IS HE GOIJGTO FUCKING EAT HIM?????????????????????????

[literaphobe]

qnf literally share one braincell between them and neither of them use it i love those idiots

quackity is a LAW STUDENT. WHO GETS STRAIGHT As. GEORGE. FUCKING. has. A FOUR YEAR COMPUTER SCIENCE DEGREE. that. He got. FIRST CLASS HONORS FOR. and they are two of the biggest airheads in the dream smp

[literaphobe]

this is correct @comradedream

[qtiq]

MANS GOT THE DUCK AYYYE

[mcytersarepretty]

why is Anthony blacking it out we already know what dream looks like

[mcytersarepretty]

checking my twitch notifs for the first time in forever and seeing this was so jarring I don't even remember watching a sapnap stream lmao

[tubbito]

GEORGEHOTFOUND

[mcytersarepretty]

dream rlly just went "what does gnf rhyme with?? ;)" I Hate Him

[mcytersarepretty]

Dream rigged the wheel????

[mcytersarepretty]

"Doin all these things without permission" QUACKITY OMG

[mcytersarepretty]

GEORGE CYBERBULLYING POOR TOMMY OMG HE SOUNDS SO SAD OMFG

[pigsteprap]

MIND THE GAP!

[aleatoryw]

girls don't want boys, girls want megamind's fucking sick platform goth boots that he wore to fight titan

[secretsscrutinies]

every time dream said he was nervous in mcc 14

[ladyloveandjustice]

Barbie is ageless and unknowable. She exists beyond our feeble mortal conception of time. She always was, and she will always be.