Game Over
I did it. I broke up with PacMan. Finally!
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
trying on a metaphor
Today's Document

Discoholic 🪩

shark vs the universe
KIROKAZE
Misplaced Lens Cap
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Stranger Things

#extradirty

izzy's playlists!
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Three Goblin Art
Cosmic Funnies
Cosimo Galluzzi
DEAR READER
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
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seen from Bangladesh
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seen from Germany
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@me-simply
Game Over
I did it. I broke up with PacMan. Finally!
SAFE HOUSE
TBND is gone away for ball for a week, he's coming back on Tuesday (my birthday) then leaves again the next morning for another ball tournament. He'll be gone for another week, then soon after he gets back, he leaves for Alberta to go to college. It's going to be weird not having him next door, not having that comforting feeling that I'm safe.
goddammit
I sprained my goddamn ankle. Twenty minutes into our second game of the soccer tournament, I blocked a shot and "Crack! Pop! Snap!" The ground was rushing towards me. I didn't cry though! I was taken to the emergency room and they x-rayed and said there wasn't any obvious breaks (by this time, my ankle was the size of a pomegranate) but to stay off it. So now, on the hottest day of the summer, I'm inside hobbling around on my grandpa's old cane. Kill me.
Bitch Watching
I went camping again this past weekend, it was a really good time. I met some cute boys ;) we hung out around the campground until midnight, it was awesome . We made plans to hang out at the beach again the next day. Sweet, right? I head to the beach early the next day and get a prime spot, I keep a look out for the guys, finally they arrive around lunch time. I was just heading over to talk to them when two other girls who looked to be 12 run up to them and start giggling and twirling strands of their bleach blonde hair around their fingers. Their bikinis were pretty much non existent, they were so tiny. I stopped in my tracks and looked down at my simple striped bikini and the "little bit" of flub hanging over the waist band. I turned around and went back to where i was sitting. Later on, I noticed that the boys were going into the water, alone. I jumped at the chance to go say hi to them. We talked for no longer than 2 minutes before we were interrupted by the squealing and splashing of two immature slutty blonde bitches (yeah, I was a little jealous and annoyed). They swim over to us and start whispering to the boys, making them smile. I slowly floated away, unnoticed. Back at the campground, just as the sun was setting, I grabbed my book and sat out in the field overlooking the ocean. The sun turned the water pink and purple, I gave up reading and enjoyed the view. The water was so calm and perfect until something surfaced without warning. In plain sight, a whale surfaced and blew water up into the air then disappeared again and the water was flat, just as if it was never there in the first place. About a minute later, the whale surfaced again, accompanied this time with a friend. The two of them surfaced and sprayed in sync. I looked down the hill at the campers below me, people walking and talking completely unaware of these two beautiful whales. Then there was three. I watched them for the longest time, bobbing in the calm water. Then I heard two familiar high pitched squeals "Omigod! Look there's a big fish out there!" The two skanks from the beach ran by me and past the little kids on the playground, they ran to the top of the slide for a better view. I rolled my eyes and pulled my hood over my head hoping they wouldn't recognize me. I watched the first whale surface once more, the other two, out of sight. It made a big splash, and I tried to ignore the girls screaming down the hill. They called the boys from the other night over and pointed to where the whale last surfaced, but it didn't come up again. The boys teased them, not believing them. They said no whale would ever swim around here, its too cold. The girls laughed and teased them back, pulling at the hems of their shirts so the edges of their bras were visible, they climbed down the slide and ran off with the boys. I waited until it was dark, but the whales didn't surface again.
the chaisson boys
The fiddle festival is my favourite part of summer :) It's run by the Chaisson family, "the fathers" are the organizers, and "the boys" are the entertainment and they work around the grounds. The Chaisson boys all have a lot of talent they're very musical. I think there's around 20 of them, they're all in their twenties or early thirties. And they're all gorgeous. Square dancing is always fun with the Chaisson boys. When its the ladies turn to go around the circle and get spun by each man, you can't help but giggle and blush when you get spun by one of the Chaisson boys. Once, he spun me twice. :)
Happy Birthday
Today is TBND's birthday. It was a gorgeous day, clear skies, warm weather, slight breeze. So obviously I didn't spend my whole day inside. I was outside enjoying my hammock, when I, once again, heard squealing. It was coming from next door. TBND's house. I knew no one was home, well no one except TBND, and now according to the squealing, his girlfriend was there too. So I sat there in my lovely hammock on this gorgeous day, listening to TBND and his skank squeal and laugh and splash around in the pool... -__- He's no good anyways, he has no respect for his family or anyone who doesn't do what he says or makes him happy. I guess I'll scratch him off the list, who's next?!
alone
That's why I don't want to let PacMan go. I'm scared of being alone. PacMan is mad because I rejected his hug thing this afternoon, and now I'm freaking out because he won't talk to me. My so called "best friend" is in the process of ditching me for her new pot head friends, and I'm freaking out because she doesn't want to hang out. I'm terrified of being alone. Of having no one.
6 months
I went out with PacMan today.. big mistake. I was kind of looking forward to it in a way. I hadn't seen him since school, and I almost forgot how annoying he is. I was thinking about him last night, and it even crossed my mind to stop this silly break thing. Then he started talking and it all came rushing back. I felt bad, it was probably the worst date he has ever been on, but that's not really my fault. I tried to make it not awkward! But it's really hard. He tried to give me a hug before he left, I backed away. That was awkward. I need to end this thing, I'm just dragging it on, but we've been together for 6 months, I don't want to break his heart. I kind of already am though huh? Uugggghhhhhhhh. I don't know what to do.
FUCK FUCK
IT JUST CAME INTO MY FUCKING ROOM!! HOLY FUCK!! But no worries, I'm safe now.. first it was under my bed and I heard it rummaging around, but my first instinct was that it was just the cat.. then I remembered, five minutes ago the cat ran out chasing the bat and I shut the door... Then BAM! It was flying straight towards my face!!! I flew under the covers then pulled off my sheet and crawled to the door with it over my body. I got out and quickly shut the door behind me, then shoved the sheet in the crack under the door, so the bat wouldn't get out. Now I'm cowering in the corner of my living room, hoping to god that the bat won't get out of my room.. but hey, on the bright side: now I have access to food :)
FUCK
THERE'S A FUCKING BAT IN MY FUCKING HOUSE AND I'M FUCKING HOME ALONE WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?! I was sitting on my bed, petting my cat, texting people, scrolling down my dashboard.. you know, the norm. Then my cat starts flipping shit! I follow his gaze, and then BAM! A fucking bat or bird or something flys by! I jumped off my bed and slammed my door closed, then realized, "shit, now I'm stuck in here for the rest of the night, why couldn't I lock myself in the kitchen.. Damn it, now I'm hungry" Fuck me.
amateur inspiration seeker
I'm in the process of inspiration seeking. I adore photography if you hadn't noticed already, but I've been in a creativity block for the past couple months. So I've spent the last couple hours browsing flickr in seach of inspiration. I've found a couple pictures that have triggered some ideas, but not nearly enough to keep me motivated. It's kind of discouraging but no way am I giving up! I'm determined, I have to find inspiration. And myself.
Brackley
I went to the beach again today, just me and mom. It was nice. It was the first time in a long time when Mom and me did something together, just us. We went to the second nicest beach on the island, Brackley Beach. There were a lot of people there and a lot of jellyfish. The water was nice but due to the jellyfish and high winds I didn't go swimming, I went up to my knees then chickened out. There was a girl there who looked only a couple years older than me, and she had the most amazing abs ever! I had never seen anything quite like it. I want that. So I've made a promise to myself to start watching what I eat and to do some sit-ups every night. It's a start! Anyways, we stayed at the beach for a couple hours, then we went to a tiny thai restaurant. It was really cute, and the food was delish! Then we went shopping for a bit before deciding we were too tired so we went home. It was a good afternoon with Mom, the first in a long time, and it will probably be another long time until we do it again, so I'm going to go enjoy it. Peace.
flattery will get you nowhere.
I just realized, PacMan is so fake! He uses all of my lines, sweet things I used to say to him, he just repeats them back to me when he needs to. He probably thinks that if I’ve said them, I’ll fall for him all over again when he says them to me. You’re wrong PacMan, I’m not stupid. I see right through your “I’m-so-sorry” act. All this time I thought you were perfect, the kind of boyfriend you find in movies. I guess I was right about that part. You are a boyfriend from a movie, you steal their lines and their moves. You don’t mean any of what you say, you read off other people’s scripts and you just go through the motions. Fuck you PacMan.
breathe deep
When things get bad, when I start to fall into that darkness. I take a deep breath and look past it, so far past it, I look right into the future and I see that it will be ok. This moment of nothing, will be forgotten soon enough.
This is the book I'm reading at the moment. It's terrific!
barf.
TBND had his girlfriend over today.. awwwwkward! I was over hanging out with his sister when she showed up. We just sat and watched AFV for a while, TBND was outside talking to his baseball manager or something, and then for about 5 minutes, his sister went upstairs to change.. leaving me with.. her.. most awkward five minutes of my life. We didn't speak, at all. Finally his sister came back down and then soon after, TBND and her went downstairs to his room. A little later, he came to the top of the stairs and said "Is it just you two home?" we nodded and then he said "Oh, you guys should go outside or something" he smiled, and I knew what he meant. He wanted to be alone with her, and he wanted to be out of earshot... if you know what I mean. I went home.
THE ANATOMY OF WINGS
Jennifer Day lives in a small Australian mining town full of secrets. After the sudden death of her teenage sister Beth, Jennifer uncovers a blue cardboard box of her sister's posessions--a black rubber-band bracelet, a silver necklace with a half-a-broken-heart pendant, an address written in leftward-slanting hand on a scrap of paper, and ballet slippers wrapped in their laces. Why couldn't Jennifer--or anyone else--save Beth? Their parents blame Beth's friends and themselves, and Jennifer's eccentric grandmother is convinced that Beth had been communicating with angles. Jennifer isn't sure what to believe. With the help of her best friend, she tries to piece together the final months of her sister's life using the clues in the box. But what she finds are mysteries, miracles, and more questions. In a novel that is as unexpectedly funny as it is wise, debut author Karen Foxlee weaves an unforgettable story about one girl's failure to cross the threshold into adulthood and the disintegration of a family in the face of tragedy.
This book is beautiful. :)