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who wants to be a millionaire? [2016 | 2017]

Somewhere out there, there’s a little old lady wearing a “wake n’ bake” shirt, but only because she likes baking in the morning

comfysweater

neyruto

Cowboys are witches and horses are their familiars

istillfuckwithdemilovato-deacti

guns are their wands and they only know one spell (bullet)

beastmac

PLEASE LET US REBLOG ADS I AM IN FUCKING TEARS HERE

stimman3000

baby it’s mold outside

twinkfrankenstein-deactivated20

Are you okay

stimman3000

thanks for asking! absolutely not

thenatsdorf

View this post on Instagram

“I’m gonna nap right here next to you.”

woodmeat

Dead me and my wife

westafricanbaby

AWWWWWWWWW

Okay wow i forgot about this blog oops...

tiffanarchy

Beware of 'work-life balance tests.'

Are you willing to work weekends? Holidays? Through the birth of your child? Until you collapse?

It’s the hot new thing in job interviews: Testing whether candidates are willing to sacrifice everything — their home lives, their families, their health — for the good of their company.

The Muse recently wrote that we should be aware of “work-life balance ‘tests'” during interviews, highlighting the chief executive of Barstool Sports, Erika Nardini, who reportedly texts job applicants interviewing with the company on weekends. Nardini said she does this “just to see how fast you’ll respond,” in an interview with The New York Times. She expects to be contacted back “within three hours,” she elaborated. “It’s not that I’m going to bug you all weekend if you work for me, but I want you to be responsive. I think about work all the time,” Nardini said. “Other people don’t have to be working all the time, but I want people who are also always thinking.”

It was also reported recently that Vena Solutions CEO Don Mal asks candidates if they’d “leave [their] family at Disneyland to do something that was really important for the company?” He expects them to say yes.

eltigrechico

krakenartificer

OK, but

don’t let anyone tell you that this is inevitable

I have worked at my current job for 4 years. In that time,

I have been asked to stay late, to finish an urgent project, twice.

I have been called in on a weekend to deal with some crisis, 0 times

I have gone on a week+ vacation, with absolutely no ability for anyone at the office to reach me for any reason at all, 6 times.

I have left work 10-15 minutes early, in order to be on time to some non-work thing, hundreds of times

I have been instructed by my boss to leave work 1-4 hours early, a few dozen times

Some businesses require this bullshit. If you want to work for SpaceX (apparently) that is a thing. Apple, that’s a thing. But it is not the norm. You can get a good, steady, decently-paying job with health insurance and a 401(k), while working only 40 hours a week. Do not believe that being a grown up means you are required to deal with this crap.

pr1nceshawn

People Who Take Instructions Too Literally.

official-liberty-prime-deactiva

I love the kid that named the rectangle Tedison

aturinfortheworse

ok but that alphabatical order one - what that kid did was way harder than the original task and demonstrated the same skills so i hope they got a goddamn A+

thelibrawrian-deactivated201912

i was thinking about the weirdest phone calls i got when i still worked at the public library and i remembered this one phone call. it was probably less than 20 seconds long, but it still makes me laugh.

anyways, this woman called and without even saying hello after i said the usual “public library, how can i help you?” spiel, she said, “i have a very important question: when you shelve books, do you push them all to the front of the shelf or all the way back?”

it took me a second to process the question and then i answered that, at the library, we always shelve them so that they are even with the front edge so they’re easier to grab and see. she was obviously delighted by this answer and then, as if an afterthought, she asked, “okay, what about you? what do you do at home with your books?” i said i did the same thing. she hummed in obvious agreement and then just like that she said “thank you!” and hung up.

i never heard from her again. i hope she won whatever argument she was having.

tehzii

for about a year, i worked at a call center for sprint. i have a similar kind of story. a woman called, and said she had a question about the call history on her bill. “sure, let me just pull up your account-” and she cut me off going, “no, no, it’s not anything specific, it’s just. so, if you change the time on your phone, does that change the time on the bill?” “uh… no? the time on the phone doesn’t matter, the call history is recorded by the towers.” “ohhhh” she said in the saltiest voice i have ever heard “so even if you changed the timezone it wouldn’t change the time on the bill? to, say, the middle of the night?” i stg yall i looked into the camera like i was on the office. “um… no? it would still be the local time of the tower. is there anything else i can help you with?” to me, overly chipper: “nope! thank you! have a great day!” turning on someone as she hung up: “she says yoU’RE A LYING SACK OF-” i still mean-snicker every time i think about it.