it’s so fucked up when you see something you KNOW is a portal to somewhere but you can’t figure out how to activate it. this is the most frustrating feeling that plagues modern man.
a cat stuck outside a bathroom door ghost-wrote this

Product Placement
Not today Justin
Stranger Things

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
One Nice Bug Per Day
i don't do bad sauce passes
KIROKAZE

titsay
d e v o n
trying on a metaphor

JVL
Sweet Seals For You, Always
hello vonnie
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Jules of Nature

No title available

Discoholic 🪩
Misplaced Lens Cap
cherry valley forever

oozey mess
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from India

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Norway
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Netherlands

seen from United States

seen from Brazil
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States

seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Italy
@meatl0afff
it’s so fucked up when you see something you KNOW is a portal to somewhere but you can’t figure out how to activate it. this is the most frustrating feeling that plagues modern man.
a cat stuck outside a bathroom door ghost-wrote this
i can still quote fran’s response word for word
[Transcript:
Alex: Here is the Final Jeopardy answer. “This city was incorporated into the Roman Empire in 30 B.C. after the suicide of Cleopatra.” Good luck.
*Jeopardy theme plays*
Fran (loudly): Oop, dropped my earring, dropped my earring. Whoa, Nellie… Found it! Found it, found the earring.
Contestant: What’s going on?
Fran: I–I found the earring.
*Theme song ends*
Alex: Alright contestants, time’s up. Henrietta? What did you write down as your question? “What is Macedonia?” I’m sorry, that’s wrong. What was your wager? $4200, you risked it all. And that takes you all the way down to zero.
Fran: Enjoy the home game, honey. *laughs*
Alex: Well now let’s go to Stewart. His response was: “What is Cairo?” And unfortunately, he too is wrong.
*Fran snorts*
Alex: Your wager please, Stewart, was… $4199. That takes you down to $101.
Fran: Still like his tie, Stewie?
Alex: Fran?
Fran: Well, my mother and I were on our way to Israel, on El Al, and who was sitting next to us but Diana Kind (aka Barbra Streisand’s mother)? In COACH! They got a lot of unresolved issues, those two. On her way to see the pyramids in Giza.
Alex: So your response is Giza?
Fran: No, Mr. In-A-Hurry. But, talking about Streisand and Egypt reminded me of Omar Sharif, who, according to my funny girl trivia book, was not the first actor cast in the role of Nicky Arnstein, but was born in–
Alex: MISS FINE!!!
Fran (excitedly): What is Alexandria!
Alex (stunned): That’s right. That brings your score to $200, Fran Fine is the new Jeopardy champion!]
Let this be a lesson: death is inevitable and is coming for us all
What she says: I’m fine.
What she means: Cinderella’s given name is actually Ella. “Cinderella“ is the cruel nickname given to her by her stepsisters because she’s always covered in soot from the fireplace they make her sleep in.
Dumbo’s given name is Jumbo Jr. “Dumbo” is the cruel nickname given to him by the elephant women once they see his large ears. We never see a Jumbo Sr. so the implication is that his father is dead and those women are actually mocking a widow and her young child.
These characters are actively marketed and merchandised with the handles given to them by cruel and abusive people from their troubled childhoods.
See also: Scar
Scar’s actual name is Taka which literally means trash, tbh the mean nickname was actually a step up from being named Stinky Garbage Boy.
Imagine naming one kid “king“ and the other kid “garbage“. No wonder he became a villain.
Me when a customer asks me to help them find something that’s literally right next to them:
I love fat cats that get picked up and look kind of alarmed about it as if their magnificent girth could have prevented this sort of injustice
“HOW THEY LIFT ME WHEN I AM LORGE”
It doesn’t end there:
another addition
do you ever just like. feel unbelievably proud of someone you’d never even heard of previously
oh my god
Name a better real life character arc
@indigopersei is the french language just always on the verge of getting someone accused of assault or..?
my friend, if only you knew
It’s a very dangerous language to learn
Here’s an interesting thing about French! Everything needs to have an article in front of it. That’s why it’s “la chat” as opposed to just “chat”. So, for instance, you could say la fille for the girl, or jeune fille for young girl, but you can’t just say fille, because that means you are calling her a sex worker in a derogatory way.
The moral of the story is, if you want to make something rude in French, just take out the article in front of it. Yes, this works for nearly. every. word.
#now I’m wondering how often my high school french teacher was silently screaming because of this little fact
Every year. Every year there’s that kid who forgets that you can’t translate “I am excited” to “Je suis excitée”. And every year Monsieur Jordan has to slam the brakes before that kid can finish his sentence and then tactfully ask him not to announce to the class that he is horny.
“is the french language always on the verge” oh buddy, oh pal, i am so happy to break this news to you:
truly the language of love
TOO MANY!!!!!
me yelling “lets GO lesbians” but following me are a bunch of calico kittens
this has to be one of b99’s best opens
generally one of televisions best openings
please watch brooklyn nine nine
“classic literature is hard to relate to”
Thinking about something