wasteland, baby @meatl0afff - Tumblr Blog

it’s so fucked up when you see something you KNOW is a portal to somewhere but you can’t figure out how to activate it. this is the most frustrating feeling that plagues modern man.

maltedmalaphors

a cat stuck outside a bathroom door ghost-wrote this

bunlly

killtheteendream

i can still quote fran’s response word for word

sitcomlesbian

[Transcript:

Alex: Here is the Final Jeopardy answer. “This city was incorporated into the Roman Empire in 30 B.C. after the suicide of Cleopatra.” Good luck.

*Jeopardy theme plays*

Fran (loudly): Oop, dropped my earring, dropped my earring. Whoa, Nellie… Found it! Found it, found the earring.

Contestant: What’s going on?

Fran: I–I found the earring.

*Theme song ends*

Alex: Alright contestants, time’s up. Henrietta? What did you write down as your question? “What is Macedonia?” I’m sorry, that’s wrong. What was your wager? $4200, you risked it all. And that takes you all the way down to zero.

Fran: Enjoy the home game, honey. *laughs*

Alex: Well now let’s go to Stewart. His response was: “What is Cairo?” And unfortunately, he too is wrong.

*Fran snorts*

Alex: Your wager please, Stewart, was… $4199. That takes you down to $101.

Fran: Still like his tie, Stewie?

Alex: Fran?

Fran: Well, my mother and I were on our way to Israel, on El Al, and who was sitting next to us but Diana Kind (aka Barbra Streisand’s mother)? In COACH! They got a lot of unresolved issues, those two. On her way to see the pyramids in Giza.

Alex: So your response is Giza?

Fran: No, Mr. In-A-Hurry. But, talking about Streisand and Egypt reminded me of Omar Sharif, who, according to my funny girl trivia book, was not the first actor cast in the role of Nicky Arnstein, but was born in–

Alex: MISS FINE!!!

Fran (excitedly): What is Alexandria!

Alex (stunned): That’s right. That brings your score to $200, Fran Fine is the new Jeopardy champion!]

sparrf-blog

crimewave420

Let this be a lesson: death is inevitable and is coming for us all

libertarirynn-deactivated202006

What she says: I’m fine.

What she means: Cinderella’s given name is actually Ella. “Cinderella“ is the cruel nickname given to her by her stepsisters because she’s always covered in soot from the fireplace they make her sleep in.

Dumbo’s given name is Jumbo Jr. “Dumbo” is the cruel nickname given to him by the elephant women once they see his large ears. We never see a Jumbo Sr. so the implication is that his father is dead and those women are actually mocking a widow and her young child.

These characters are actively marketed and merchandised with the handles given to them by cruel and abusive people from their troubled childhoods.

libertarirynn-deactivated202006

See also: Scar

celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725

Scar’s actual name is Taka which literally means trash, tbh the mean nickname was actually a step up from being named Stinky Garbage Boy.

libertarirynn-deactivated202006

Imagine naming one kid “king“ and the other kid “garbage“. No wonder he became a villain.

dredsina

Me when a customer asks me to help them find something that’s literally right next to them:

dredsina

radiantraiment

derpbrotherhood

helium-argon-co2

I love fat cats that get picked up and look kind of alarmed about it as if their magnificent girth could have prevented this sort of injustice

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

“HOW THEY LIFT ME WHEN I AM LORGE”

gloomydude-deactivated20150419

son-of-rap-bear

It doesn’t end there:

funimationentertainment

another addition

cs-inactive1-deactivated2020060

do you ever just like. feel unbelievably proud of someone you’d never even heard of previously

eroscestlavie

oh my god

islesofstars-deactivated2018120

Name a better real life character arc

ninenine-brooklyn

chekhov

wildeismsremade-deactivated2019

broitsablog

@indigopersei is the french language just always on the verge of getting someone accused of assault or..?

dammitperseus

my friend, if only you knew

randomfandomteacher

It’s a very dangerous language to learn

party-bees-deactivated20181211

Here’s an interesting thing about French! Everything needs to have an article in front of it. That’s why it’s “la chat” as opposed to just “chat”. So, for instance, you could say la fille for the girl, or jeune fille for young girl, but you can’t just say fille, because that means you are calling her a sex worker in a derogatory way.

The moral of the story is, if you want to make something rude in French, just take out the article in front of it. Yes, this works for nearly. every. word.

wine-dark-sea

#now I’m wondering how often my high school french teacher was silently screaming because of this little fact

Every year. Every year there’s that kid who forgets that you can’t translate “I am excited” to “Je suis excitée”. And every year Monsieur Jordan has to slam the brakes before that kid can finish his sentence and then tactfully ask him not to announce to the class that he is horny.