Two Fat Guys Just Cronching, Just Having a Monch.

  I may not know my flowers, but I know a BITCH WHEN I SEE ONE 

[saintvitus]

[powerburial]

this is arcane knowledge that the human mind cant comprehend

[bitchboi-naughty]

honestly what the fuck does this mean

[vhsv0id]

“Don’t stress yourselves out about it, but don’t ignore the situation”

[wholesomethemedmemes]

I declare this Wholesome Knowledge

[saddest-cat-hours]

[prokopetz]

Concept: one of those cliché angel/demon romances, except the demon is the stuffy, orthodox one and the angel is like “hold my beer”.

[queerical]

#demon: youre SUPPOSED to be a background influence!! no one is supposed to see you!!! youre not supposed to leave any sign of ur presence!#angel *sneezes and twenty feathers drift to the ground*: lmao im gonna cure this chicks blindness and make that guy rethink his life choices (via @andsotheuniverseended)

[controlledapocalypse]

demon: *sits there drawing up a long contract for a lawyer’s human soul, working out the loopholes because lawyers are sneaky* angel: i think that dude is on lsd lmao i’m gonna go talk to him in my true form demon: don’t you have burning wings and a thousand eyes or something angel: haha ye deom: *long sigh*

[tzikeh]

The Demon’s name is Archibald Buttle and the Angel’s name is YEET

[haiku-robot]

the demon’s name is archibald buttle and the angel’s name is yeet

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Help me buy a flower for Alexa®! And yes, we are dating. | PayPal | Patreon

[weaponsofclairvoyance]

thor has something for everybody…if you are attracted to men he is perfect boyfriend material. if you are not he is just a big nice man who respects women & smiles a lot. he lifts weights all day to get good at hugging

[weaponsofclairvoyance]

i wrote the second part totally forgetting about straight men uhhh he has muscles and he probably knows about sports. whatever yall are into

[paynesenterprisebackup-deactiva]

happy independence day let’s impeach the president 

[10centbullet-deactivated2020062]

The only 4th of july post i care about

[thehikingastronomer]

I can top it: yesterday, NPR made a series of tweets that Trump supporters called “propaganda” and “trash words” to insult Trump and push NPR’s agenda.

NPR was tweeting the Declaration of Independence.

And that, folks, describes about 75% of Trump’s voter base.

[paddysnuffles]

Some exammples of the Trump followers vs NPR thing

[eclecticdreamweaver]

So they are admitting Trump is a dictator?

[truth-has-a-liberal-bias]

Some Trump supporters thought NPR tweeted ‘propaganda.’ It was the Declaration of Independence.

[terpsikeraunos]

ancient greek word of the day: κακοθερής (kakotherēs), unfitted to endure summer heat

[madejsbridge]

[cockyhorror]

I keep going back to watch this video it just captures my sense of humour perfectly

[starwarsgraphictee]

Ben Wyatt got balls

[i-am-a-fish]

Me: I’m a total bitch!!!!!! I’m such a bitch y'all!!!! Call me bitchy steve!!!

Anyone: hi bitchy steve

Me: I don’t like that

[hailenj]

[nieubethesda]

all terfs dead by cher’s hand

[valtsv]

person who has/works with kids: *talking about how much they hate kids*

me:

[parkerpete-archive]

It’s just me and you.

[etraytin]

I cannot express how much I love the fact that Homecoming made Aunt May a woman in her forties, someone who might actually have been a sister to the parents of a fifteen year old. It changes the dynamic so much from the comics, because we get a sense of May as an agent in her own life, a woman who has a career she balances with her family, a woman who should’ve had decades more with her husband, a woman who is trying to be Mom to Peter instead of a kindly grandparental type. I can accept white-haired retiree Aunt May for an adult Peter out in the world, but this baby Spiderman ought to have a mom, and moms who watch this movie deserve to have Aunt May. 

[homoluigi]

This was my favorite one

[captainofalltheships]

i want critical role and taz to swap DMs for like an arc cause damn does taz have some creative worldbuilding that is nowhere near the traditional fantasy assosiated with dnd and i wonder what vm would do in that world

but mostly i want tres horny boys to be unleashed on matt mercer 

[siderealsandman]

Two hours in and both DM’s are in tears, for very different reasons. Griffin because he finally has a party that doesn’t try and destroy his campaign from the inside out, and Matt because Magnus ate the orb beneath Whitestone.

[thetriggeredhappy]

“hey so im gonna go ahead and take out my Poisoning Raging Flaming Sword of Doom and—” “Your what.” “my… Poisoning Raging Flaming—” “Okay, that one—I’ll let you go ahead and use your, your pocket rooms and, your… your magic gum, and your tree-killing axe and your weird bible and your shocking amount of mannequin arms and your freakin’ ghost unicorn, but I’m drawing the line, that does not exist. That cannot be real, I’m going to call Griffin and start factchecking because this cannot possibly be a thing, how would you even get that?” “traded a rock for it.” “You what.”

[fade-steppin]

throwback to the time my classics professor asked “does anyone know who sappho is?” and i immediately replied “she’s the OG lesbian” and my professor yelled “EXACTLY” and wrote the OG lesbian on the whiteboard

[floppyschoice]

the cha cha slide in full metal armor

[floppyschoice]

“sliiide to the left”

*indescribably loud screeching of metal against asphalt*

[floppyschoice]

“one hop this time”

*clonk*

“two hops this time”

*clonk clonk*

[floppyschoice]

“everybody clap your hands!”

*clankclankclankclankclank*

[dippyface]

🤔 It’s like so weird how I’m gonna physically murder YouTube

[bloodyromeo]

— childishGambino [CG] has begun pestering you —