Just Breathe. @medicatedxjane - Tumblr Blog

Thoughts

Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to bite my tongue. I always seem to start fights because of my train of thoughts so now I’ve just kind of let them stay inside my head. It’s so hard to just let it go and just move on, I want to say how I feel but I know the only thing that will do is cause another fight. So I hold it in. It’s not like I can’t express myself or say how I feel about things. It’s just always the irrelevant things I want to speak my mind on even if it shouldn’t matter and that’s where it gets me. These thoughts of insecurity really make me depressed but I know when I say my thought out loud before thinking of sending that text that I just sound dumb and insecure and sounding like I just wanna start a fight just because. I wish I wasn’t like this. I wish I was secure with myself but I never will be. I always spread positive vibes, I never burden someone with how I feel and that leaves me with negative thoughts. But I never wanna complain or show how I feel because I’ll just come across as unattractive and bitter. I don’t know.

#fights #relationships #love #depression #anxiety #help #thoughts #vibes

#meme #funny #comedy #kim jung un #truth #fitness #laughing #why #dank memes

My Acid Trip

It's impossible to describe the feeling beyond the word, "weird" Everything is just off or weird. I can only give examples of what I seen, which will always be different for everyone. I was watching Family Guy and everything that was suppose to be outlined in black, was outlined in neon purple It felt like every thing that moved, left a trace and was moving slow Time either felt like it was going super slow or fast, hard to understand the structure of time The trees felt alive with energy I could also feel every object and persons energy whether if it was good or bad My grey leggings developed a non existing flower like pattern The air was different hues of the rainbow as well as certain objects Cats are way softer feeling You physically can't use your phone or focus enough to record what's going on My hand cramped up and it felt like I couldn't move it which caused me to panic Hysterically laughing for no reason beyond feeling happy or seeing something funny Going from crying to laughing instantly Kissing my boyfriend and feeling like we morphed into one being A greater understanding of why it's fucked up that everyone and everything is restricted and controlled Four hours after coming down from the peak and talking about life Trip lasting overall 12 hours Also almost impossible to sleep, insomnia and anxiety is expected when coming down The next day feeling relaxed and so content It's impossible to get angry on acid, literally. It's impossible to talk, it feels like the words are jumbled in your head and coming out okay or vice versa and you speak words out of order You can't explain to others what's happening that well Blankets and towels looked like they were breathing Things will appear to move or distort the longer you focus on them Temperature will be intense whether it's hot or cold Cannot eat or drink well on acid, swallowing liquid will sometimes make you feel like you are choking because you're focusing on it too much

#acid trip #acid #drugs #advice #experience #hallucination #hallucinogen #fun #examples #party

punacceptable

*grabs my own ass* nice

qlexie

“hey do you want the rest of my-“

Being in a relationship vs. Being Single.

*Based on my experience*

Being in a relationship is far more different to get use to then being single. I’ve been single a good 16 out of the 17 years I’ve lived on Earth. The way you go about life is so much more different once you’ve found your twin flame, soul mate, lover..whatever you call your significant other. “You’re only 17, you can’t possibly have found your soulmate.” But, I’m not like the the other 17 year olds who party and hook up with randoms. I’ve never been one to make sexual advances on someone who I wasn’t considering a relationship with. Hell, I don’t even party. The only rebellious vice I do is smoke marijuana only to control the extreme anxiety I deal with every day. When you are single, the biggest difference is the free time you spend. When I got in a relationship, I actually had to set up days for myself because all the others were spent doing something with my lover. And it’s not even a bad thing or that I’m FORCED to do it, I WANT to give all my time to this other person. It’s gotten to a point where my best friend IS my boyfriend. As soon as I got in a relationship, that’s the moment all my friends slowly began to leave my side. Either out of jealousy or because they found our love “annoying”, it all didn’t matter because I had my best friend.

I never in my life have had a connection with another human being to a point where I could tell them every inch of my life from the lows to the highs. Whether we’re soulmates is all debatable because no one truly knows but I’m pretty sure he is the other half of my living existence. Not only do we deal with the same background struggles, we enjoy the same things and that’s the reason we hang out so often, because we enjoy the same hobbies and jokes. Being in a relationship after being single your whole life takes a few months to adjust. My boyfriend has had other long term relationships so for him, it was nothing transitioning back into relationship mode. As for me, I had to adjust. No longer could I mingle with others because there is no need to once in a relationship. I had to learn to fully trust and let myself fall into the hands of my own true love. Yes, I suffer Daddy Issues and guy issues naturally because of the distrust I’ve been shown from them all but I knew with my boyfriend, I had to just leap and fall. Once I did that, I found true happiness. Being in a relationship has built me up rather than break me down which is what it’s suppose to be like. My self esteem sky rocketed, my social life involved his friends but they were mine too, I met new people, I also because more religious with my Creator for I got the most amazing gift a human can ever find, love.

I don’t show off my relationship to others for the sake of being braggy, I take lots of pictures and post statuses because there is never a moment where he isn’t on my mind. We’re almost 6 months in our relationship and my heart has grown closer to him. He’s made me learn to trust and love a complete stranger, and that’s truly a beautiful thing. We’ve been dating for 6 months but we’ve talked for a whole year before getting together and meeting in person, it took a while to transition into what we both wanted but in the end, we got what we both truly wanted deep inside and we’re the happiest out there.