Just when you think things couldn't get weirder.
I went and checked and they never really focused on the funeral program in the episode (1.5), so it's (a) hard to be sure the one you found more pics of is genuine and (b) perhaps less of an egregious canon error.
But if the program you found is not fanmade—and the fact that the cover, at least, matches the one Netflix put in that video in 2017 suggest that it's legit—
—that means we have 4 potential canon birthdays for Will...
March 22, 1971—the date Joyce gives as his birthday in 2.8, with the year making him 12 years old when he disappeared, which matches the evidence below.
March 22, 1972—the date Joyce gives as his birthday in 2.8, with the year making him 11 years old when he disappeared, which aligns with Joyce's line in 5.3.
August 28, 1971—the date on the cover of that funeral program in 1.5, making him 12 years old when he disappeared, which matches the evidence below.
August 28, 1972—the date on the interior of that funeral program in 1.5, making him 11 years old when he disappeared, which aligns with Joyce's line in 5.3.
... given that the only date we're sure of (!?) is that he went missing on November 6, 1983.
That program is literally the only evidence I've ever seen that Joyce was not just completely mistaken in saying that he was 11 years old when he went missing.
Evidence that she was completely mistaken includes Will's missing poster, which says he was 12 years old when he disappeared—
—a poster which, by the way, featured prominently in one of the pre-S5 marketing videos on YouTube and Instagram (October 1, 2025).
Charlie holds it facing the camera like that for half the video... then at the end we get a close-up.
The 1.1 script—as featured in The Documentary (at about 5:37)—also says the boys were 12 years old the night Will disappeared.
It specifically calls out that Mike, Lucas, and Dustin were 12... but we don't see the same callout for Will.
Also, the George Lucas thing is likely just a reference to the fact that George Lucas famously would. not. stop. going back and fucking with the original Star Wars trilogy, literally starting from 1977 when the first one came out.
The apparent purpose of the edits, including the major edits, was to go back and achieve his Original Vision, using the better technology available to him in 1997... and 2004... and 2011... and 2019.
The pre-1997 edits were minor, and some of them were genuine improvements. But a lot of it was nonsense, and some of it was blatant retconning—most notably, changing the scene in the cantina from Han shooting Greedo first to Greedo shooting Han first (making Han look less like a murderous scoundrel).
Ohhh people did not like that.
Fans even banded together to create "despecialized" versions of the original trilogy.
As far as I know, Lucas is still in a stand-off with the US National Film Registry for not giving them the original copy of 1977's Star Wars (the one we call A New Hope, as of 1981). The National Film Registry preserves original copies of a collection of films selected for their cultural, historical, and aesthetic contributions.
In 1989, the original release of Star Wars was selected for preservation in the National Film Registry (NFR). In 2014, it still did not have a "working copy" (a copy available for public viewing) of the 1977 film; Lucas refused to submit the original, stating that he no longer authorized the release of the theatrical version. Lucasfilm offered the 1997 "Special Edition" release, but the NFR refused it as the first published version must be accepted.
... good old fandom drama.
And some food for thought from a conformitygate perspective, particularly if you subscribe to the idea that we're getting more content or retroactive edits/additions...
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