LOST & NOT FOUND.

there’s curiosity in your eyes, you have already f a l l e n for me. i’ll flip you over, break you down ( & ) s w a l l o w you up. don’t be a f r a i d, love is the way. i’m engraved in your heart so even if i die, i’ll l i v e forever. come here girl, you can call me monster.

[medivms-blog]

silentnat.

@medivms

nat had pretty much isolated herself from the group after the incident had happened. she was even quieter than usually, which ironically was surprising. although she never really talked, to anyone besides evan that is, she was still an open and warm person. although she might’ve blended into the background most of the time because of her silence, she was always there. but she hadn’t been the past few days. she just needed time. time to recoup and get herself together before she could even consider being around other people again - but that was harder said than done. especially when she was having nightmares about it, chronic ones that kept her from sleeping some nights. which was how she found herself pacing back and forth in the living room, trying to keep herself from falling asleep. she had downed two cups of coffee, but even the caffeine was beginning to have little to no affect on her. she had been doing a pretty good job of keeping herself together in front of people, but once the sun went down and everyone went to sleep, she was a mess. something she didn’t want anyone to see - not that she had much of a choice when she heard footsteps on the staircase. she turned to see who it was, her tight expression softening slightly at the sight of her best friend. her and evan hadn’t had much time to actually speak with each other, and that had mostly been her fault, she knew that. “hi,” she whispered out in their native, and her most comfortable, tongue. 

evan hadn’t seen much OUTSIDE of his room these days –– trying to balance the medium of making sure people were alright after ... everything that had happened these past few months as well as trying to figure out what the heck was happening in his love life; so seeing a familiar face that is nat immediately calms him into more of a whisper, a shy smile s p i l l i n g onto his lips before ducking his head in embarrassment. at times, he really thinks that the other peculiar has it EASY because she isn’t as involved as he was in all the drama ... being everyone’s support system was tiring when really, he was looking for someone to lean on this entire time. ( though, it’s his PRIDE –– he realizes. he’s got to be stronger, braver for everyone else. but for nat, he knew he didn’t have to hide. ) it was late at night when evan woke up from a nightmare, unable to push himself to BOTHER anyone for comfort and instead, found himself padding quietly into the living room for some coffee when he spots her pacing around the area. it’s quiet unless he counts the sound of bare feet crossing wooden floors or the small greeting that he’s met with once she realizes that she isn’t ALONE anymore. evan could only offer a soft smile in reply before shrugging, crossing the distance between them with a shared breath. “ hey, ” evan murmurs back, fingers itching at his side before blinking. “ –– couldn’t sleep ? ”

[nctinfo]

[medivms-blog]

mlkhoneys.

                could he have been any cuter in the mornings? was it really all for her? did she deserve to be treated this way? certainly not — for all the questions that began to fill up in her mind. she didn’t deserve his soft touches, his love and care — charlie knew all of this. so why was she still with him, night after night? was is.. because of love? it almost made her laugh because he shouldn’t. he doesn’t. it’s what kept replaying in her head, all because she thought she had a chance with someone like him. she didn’t go for people like him. both parents were ruthless when it came to the perfect guy — STRONG, skilled and street-smart. but evan wasn’t like that at all. he was better for her. and charlie was almost scared to love, afraid to admit she’s smitten over someone too good for this world. it’s pathetic how defiant she can be when her true colors were beginning to show. vibrations were felt t h r o u g h o u t her whole body, only finding it in herself to shiver at the sensations it sent down her spine. the KISS was soft enough for comfort, but it made charlie melt into his touches even more. “no, baby, i.. i wanna go with you. i don’t.. wanna leave you alone. don’t want you to leave..” she whined  into his shoulder, legs wrapping themselves around his waist like a koala. “we can cuddle, too. i.. i like that idea a lot.”

the thought stumps him –– how could anyone not treat her like she was special ? one of a kind ? like a ... PRINCESS ? because anything and everything about her was like something out of a fairytale ( he’s told her this once and he was only met with a laugh and a s e a r i n g kiss so he could only hope that she saw the same as well ) but whenever it had just came down to the two of them on these lazy mornings, evan made it his personal mission to SHOW her all that because –– well, maybe because he’s in love. now, if only he actually knew what love had felt like and this would be all okay ... wouldn’t it be ? but it’s dangerous to play with fire and fire was exactly what she was; evan was someone who was too soft, too optimistic for his own good while charlie was like a S P I T F I R E –– dancing to her own beat of the drum. it’s the soft swipe of his lips against hers and fingers dancing alongst the s m o o t h planes of her ribcage that ensure him that it’s alright because they’re ... okay. they could make this work. the feeling of her soft wrapping around his waist makes him chuckle at the touch, tilting his head towards the side to press quiet kisses alongside her neck out of comfort. “ maybe i’ll just CARRY you to the kitchen, princess, ” he teases against the shell of her ear, arms finally encircling her waist. “ i’ll carry you to the kitchen and you can watch me cook ? and then ... we can bring our food back up and cuddle the rest of the day –– how ‘bout that ? ”

[medivms-blog]

yeonghvis.

[ closed starter ]    — ft. @medivms

    YEONGHUI HADN’T FOUND the will to sit down in hours, anxiety and nerves bubbling within them. instead, they resorted to pacing — and going over every little detail of what could come later that night. EVERYTHING had led up to this moment. and it was still a surreal moment. yeong hadn’t been on a real d a t e since 1969, and that relationship didn’t particularly end well, and it took longer than it should’ve for yeong to ( get over ) that part of their life. but things were different this time. they weren’t jumping into anything recklessly. they knew evan – yeong trusted him. and most of all, and most importantly, yeong wanted things to work out with him. they took one last look at themself in the MIRROR, the image of the outfit taemin helped them choose forever ingrained in their vision. they looked fine, but they wanted to look P E R F E C T. but it had to be ( good enough ) because it was time. and, god, was yeong nervous. they stepped out the front door onto the patio to wait for him, drawing a light breath.

nimble fingers play with the hem of his shirt nervously as his bottom lip starts to B U R N due to the assault from his teeth, continuously chewing on the flesh out of pure nervousness. evan’s not particularly frightened as he is nervous because –– well, he’s going on a date with yeonghui. evan had always thought ... that he was too NAIVE to date anyone after taemin; his mother constantly scolded him for being too nice, too trusting for his own good because ‘ they’re going to break your heart, farang ! don’t let that troubled kid put our family name to shame ! ’ ( yeah, well. ’m sorry, mom because i think ... i LOVE them ? ) and that thought troubles him because he knows that there isn’t any more r o o m in their household for any more types of those feelings, evan’s OPTIMISM and yeong’s silence was answer enough to most. but the lingering anxiety that hangs in the back of evan’s mind doesn’t stay long because he’s soon stepping out onto the patio with a small, bashful smile that grows at the sight of the other peculiar –– red staining his cheeks quietly. “ hey, ” he murmurs as his head bows slightly, a soft chuckle escaping him. always too soft, too nice. “ i’ve ... missed you. ”

[medivms-blog]

          - ̗̀ EVAN NANTAKARN —- HP!AU STATISTICS !! ◢  ̖́-

PATRONUS dolphin. HOUSE hufflepuff. BLOOD TYPE pureblood. AMORTENIA fresh rain, chocolate chip cookies, lemon tea, yeonghui’s hair. WAND TYPE silver lime wood with a phoenix feather core, 13 ¾" and quite bendy flexibility. QUIDDITCH not applicable. BEST CLASS herbology. WORST CLASS transfiguration. EXTRACURRICULARS prefect of the hufflepuff house. HEADCANNON ONE his mother, father, and grandparents were all sorted into the slytherin house. evan is the only known hufflepuff on his father’s side. HEADCANNON TWO evan has always had a fascination with mythological creatures, more specifically ogres and werewolves.  HEADCANNON THREE essentially joined the order of the phoenix around his seventh year of hogwarts and will eventually become an auror if he continues to play his cards right, all due to his fierce determination and devotion towards the ministry of magic. ( something his mother and father is currently rolling over in their graves about tbh. )

[medivms-blog]

chaenergy.

@medivms

there is a little bit of GUILT beginning to creep into his chest when he first sees the younger – for many reasons. maybe it was the lack of communication they had had for awhile. the chaos and drama of life that had made their fond friendship come to a bit of a  h a l t . han had already pent up a lot of regret for ghosting everyone during the more stressful parts of the past month – seeking solitude over companionship or time spent with friends – but evan was nice. had always been nice to him. they had developed a mutual respect and casual care for one another and han should of checked up on him sooner. should of made sure he was okay after everything that had happened.  (  not that evan didn’t have his own support of people who were probably taking very good care of him, but the point was, han hadn’t  )  .  he gives the other a pitiful look, knowing evan wouldn’t be mad, but he’ll do the damage all on his own, “how are you doing?” han finally asks from where they’ve been hanging out in the living room, fingers drumming on his thighs as interested eyes stay on evan expectantly, “i-i know it’s a little… late. but i do want to make sure you’re okay. a lot happened, y’know?”

evan doesn’t expect much on a receiving end, especially all that has happened throughout the month because it’s been HARD –– being someone who constantly gives and gives, and gives until he’s bled blue with labored breathing. he’s supposed that he’s been so CAUGHT UP with making sure other people were alright that he forgot that he necessarily needs someone as well to see if he was okay as well ... which ultimately came down to their friendship. it hadn’t been hard to strike up some sort of understanding between the two; haneul and himself had came from the same end of the spectrum ( if that had made sense ) where there was that underlying care and fondness that came with their connection; which was why evan wasn’t even mildly surprised when the elder voices out his concerns during a quiet evening in the share living room where evan had been cuddled with a book, wide eyes look up from the dusty pages to blink in NAIVETY. “ i’m ... better. ” ( i could do better. be better. i’m sorry. ) “ –– yeah, a lot’s happened but it’s not all necessarily bad, you know ? like i heard you’ve been much happier recently, hannie. ” 

[medivms-blog]

How does it feel to be friends with a murderer? You're such a shine and you know that Yeonghui is only going to bring you down :(

“ i’m not –– i’m not friends with a murderer ! ( shut up, shut up, shut up ! ) i’m friends with someone who’s made a MISTAKE and regretted it ever since, okay ? i believe in second chances and i believe that they needed a second chance because ... where would we be without them ? they didn’t have anyone and it was ... it was a m i s t a k e from the start but they’re different now. i know they’re different –– and i can still SHINE, especially with yeong by my side. ”

[medivms-blog]

fmk: yeonghui, taemin and charlie.

“ this is so embarrassing because i’m going to be DUMB about this and it’s going to be awkward between everyone when i answer this. well, i mean i can’t kill taemin because teddy will be sad and then I’LL be sad but … i can’t imagine my life without yeonghui or charlie so i’d marry … yeong ! because i made a promise to them that i’d be with them forever after they got their feelings back and marriage means until death, doesn’t it ? so that’s me keeping my promise ! charlie and i –– we do a lot of that, you know, that thing. ( A LOT. ) i think she really likes doing it, actually so … is that okay, right ? ”

[medivms-blog]

Is it big?

“ ... ”

[medivms-blog]

what's your favorite thing about your Peculiarity? your least favorite thing?

“ i see my family a lot ! i miss my little sister sometimes so whenever i get really ANGRY, she shows up and reminds me that it’s okay to move on, you know ? i love seeing her –– and my parents so i guess that sometimes, i get really S E L F I S H and use my peculiarity to see them because ... i really miss my family. but sometimes it’s not my family but someone’s dead sister and little brother and they ... always cry when they see me because it gets lonely out there, you know ? being ... dead ? and they tell me their stories –– they all usually do and i get really SAD because they’re never happy stories. like there are times where i just want to turn it off. ”

[medivms-blog]

have you ever been in love?

“ CAL’S ASKED ME the same thing in the other day and ... i dunno how to answer this and it makes me sad ? like how do you know if you loved someone ? it’s HARD because i think –– i think i loved people before but they never really l o v e d me back ( or they always died on me ) and it sucks, you know ? it’s not fun because i just want to be IN LOVE and ... be loved back. ”

[medivms-blog]

are you interested in anyone? if so, who?

“ THIS ISN’T A fair question because i think everyone’s interesting in their own way ! i mean i just happen to find people M O R E interesting than others but it doesn’t mean i’m not interested, silly ! like yeonghui and charlie, i’m interested in them because they’re nice –– i used to be interested in taemin but we’re friends now so it’s o k a y ! why –– am i being too weird for being interested in people like THAT ? ”

[medivms-blog]

[officialrembrandt]

Glass Animals - Poplar St.

[96sline]

[medivms-blog]

mlkhoneys.

of course, charlie still was in awe of having to deal with the aftermath that was cuddling with evan. not that she had chosen to mind it, really. the brunette couldn’t believe how much adoration and care one would possibly be able to give in one night, smiling to herself when she figured it was all reserved for her. the thought made her heart swell, beating hard and fast against her chest. it was never like that with others — not nearly as gentle or fond. it gave her a sense of hope, that there was someone out there willing to give her that same kind of love and appreciation the way he did — how it always managed to make her head spin with pleasure and joy. but deep down, she knew what they had wasn’t permanent, that it was just a temporary fix for an aching need one or the other was craving. she had to. it didn’t FEEL that way to her, but facts were facts. but she pushed it aside, wanting to wait another time to deal with it. giggling when cold fingertips came in contact with the small of her back, charlie could only respond by wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. “you never do.” she pouts, fluttering her eyelashes up at him. sighing contently at his words, she settled for rubbing their noses together. “that sounds really greedy of you, mister. but i’ll give you ten minutes. then we go down for breakfast. that sound okay to you, babe?”

EVAN BLAMES IT on the early rise of the sun that shone upon the beautiful figure that currently resided beside him or the fact that she’s got that smile that’s reserved for him, something soft and ... alluring that evan can’t help but revel in. he knows that he’s just going to crash and burn at the end because this was nothing more than a simple agreement, something that was more of convenience than a necessity but maybe evan’s being selfish –– he was always known to wear his HEART upon his sleeve, even when it came down to girls like charlie who deserved a whole kingdom to compliment her aura. she was a princess in his eyes, someone who deserved the MORE than she needed, and he just entirely hoped that she saw that in herself as well because evan would spend an eternity to show her the same. a rather throaty and breathless chuckle escapes his pinked lips before feeling a soft pair of lips upon his own, undoubtedly smiling widely into the morning bliss before bringing that familiar heat c lo s e r towards his own –– entangling legs in comfort. “ how about –– ” evan murmurs with a cheeky grin before reaching up to press a small kiss on the tip of the other’s nose. “ we have a lazy day, i bring you food from the kitchen, and we can cuddle some more? how does that sound, princess? ”

[medivms-blog]

yeonghvis:

    YEONG FEELS LIKE they’ve heard evan’s words a million times. the words all those times before have been empty – meaningless. almost like an empty PROMISE to feed to one when they’re vulnerable to win their trust. but as the words escape the other’s lips, suddenly every single word s t i c k s to yeong. the words hold LIFE that once again bring hope to someone who thought that feeling had died so long ago. maybe it was because the words were directed at them for the first time ever. maybe it was because the words were uttered by someone they had come to genuinely CARE about. but as they sat in the vacant room, clinging a warm mug of tea, and snuggled against one of their closest friends, yeong thinks to themself, perhaps they’ll be o k a y after all. with a final sip, yeong sets the mug down on the nightstand next to their bed and repositions themself in a lying position. ‘ i think i’ve done enough running though, ’ they confess, eyes trying to fixate on anything but evan’s gaze. but their hand lies on the other’s thigh, fingers grazing their skin softly. ‘ i’ve been running for years – i’ve been running from everything. i feel like at this point i’m afraid of my own shadow. ’ yeong knows evan’s still there — but somehow not seeing him makes it e a s i e r to reveal the things they’ve since buried deep inside, and feeling him cements that sense of comfort and support that they know he carries. ‘ but i don’t want to G O anywhere anymore. i don’t want to keep starting over. i don’t want to keep having nothing. i don’t want to lose you. if you let me, i want to let you in. ’

EVAN DOESN’T KNOW if his words meaning something, anything, or if they’re just another meaningless string of words that yeong has to listen to before they go wallow in their self-pity that evan is quite familiar of. but evan tries anyway; evan tries and t r i e s until his words bleed red and nimble fingers shake because yeong is scared, he can tell, but it means a lot that the other is showing this side of themselves to evan. he doesn’t want to be the saving grace or lifeline directed towards yeong because that would mean that he had to let the other GO at some point in the future ... all evan wants to be is just there because it stirs something inside of his chest –– the secluded room, the murmured whispers, the silent touches, they’re all things that evan could only give to yeong in hopes that the other would accept his attempts at comfort. ( he always cared too much. ) evan finds it somewhere in himself to set aside his mug as well, silently onto the nightstand beside him before repositioning himself until he’s l a y i n g quietly next to the other before reaching down to let his fingers graze softly against the other’s. he lays there and listens because evan knows that yeong NEEDS this, some sort of realization or confession, and continues to courage them through feeble actions. “ hey, look at me –– ” evan speaks up softly, eyes hesitantly gazing towards the other while fingers entangle themselves with familiar heat. “ you know you could never lose me, right? even if it takes years for you to finally let me in then ... i’ll wait. i’ll wait years and years because you mean A LOT to me, yeong. ”