i am soft and important

seeker • wife • nurse feed me and teach me about the universe

[meeegas]

So I feel a little bad that I just sort of disappeared from here for months without any sort of contact. I don’t know if I’ll come back tomorrow or never again. But I think of so many of you often and wanted to give a proper hello/see ya maybe 💜 I’m better than I’ve been in years. I know this place is sort of out of sight out of mind, but in case you were ever wondering about me, know that I’m OK and I love you. I wish all of you the most sincere peace, serenity, and joy. I wish for you an absence of suffering and the opportunity to become your highest self, whatever that means to you. Loves and loves forever. Thank you 🙏🏼

[meeegas]

Cotton candy hair 🍭

[meeegas]

Narrowly escaped a panic attack at work today

Someone was yelling “help!” while I was at my locker. I ran into the room and the patient had a crazy intense look on his face. He said he was in pain, well, yelled really. I told him I’d get his nurse and he said “Wait! Is my nose bleeding?” I got closer to him even though his affect unnerved me. I told him no and he made crazed eye contact and screamed “Look at my crotch!” I don’t know how to describe how scary it felt. I actually jumped back and quickly left the room. I felt queasy and had to lock myself in a quiet room and breathe until it passed.

[meeegas]

This is how I sext 🤪

[meeegas]

Tumblr is really the only spot I can showcase exceptional yoga booty in pigeon.

[meeegas]

👑

[meeegas]

I meant to share this yesterday, but here it is. I am going to do yoga every day in November & would love any of you to join me! (@ me or tag me #yogawithmeeegas) I fell in love with Yoga With Adriene a couple of months ago and have felt so many positive changes in my body. Along with my daily meditation practice, it has truly brought me more peace than I could have imagined. I wish I could give Adriene the biggest hug and tell her I love her. A lot has happened the past few months, and really the last year. I had a severe depressive episode that was my longest ever, as many of you know. And a few new diagnoses that I am still processing at the moment. But in this moment I can say I am calm. I am not at war. I revel in these moments and feel the joy to its absolute fullest before it floats away. I am always going to be ok, even when I don’t believe it. I have made friends here that I cherish immensely. I don’t think many of you know how deeply you have changed my life, how many times I felt loved and saved by you. Even though I’m not here every day, I think of you. My gratitude is so deep. Thank you, and I love you.

[meeegas]

I can’t believe they let these degenerates into a private golf club.

[meeegas]

Mr. and Mrs. F 💙

[meeegas]

The perfect sing your heart out in the car song

[meeegas]

I can’t believe I found this dress, it is so stunning in person! I have a pretty fancy wedding we’re attending tonight. I think I’m going to wear nude heels (I also have black). Minimal jewelry. Does that sound right? Also what color nails and toes?? Help me, I don’t know how to style myself!

[nilgi25]

Moon phases.

[the-witch-in-black-archive]

This is so calming

[makingmywitchyway]

Try breathing in sync with it, it’s so relaxing.

[meeegas]

Waking up crying

It’s such an odd feeling. I was just sobbing in my dream, overwhelmed with my job that day, and I woke up with the same tears. This has happened before and it’s usually a curious sensation because I wake up with the tears but not the emotion.

But just now I woke up with the same sense of overwhelm and just let the tears continue until I felt a shift and a release. I had a really challenging shift yesterday and I guess the emotional pressure valve for the last couple of weeks gave way. Additionally, I woke up at 3:30am yesterday and couldn’t fall back asleep, so I worked for almost 13 hours and ended up awake for 19.

I’m grateful for this. Thankful to my soul for intuitively knowing that I can’t continue to absorb all of the trauma of what I do as a nurse. The illnesses and the way they cause so much suffering, the emotional beatings we take from too many patients (like the 1 I had yesterday and 1 each shift of the prior 4 as well). I feel like my sponge was wrung out a little, and I no longer hold as much of that which does not serve me or anyone else.

I hope I can continue to let go of these experiences and emotions, so that they don’t consume me and dim my light as in the past. I carried so much cumulative energy, and it literally makes me physically and mentally unwell.

May I be present, loving, strong, and able to serve 🙏🏼

[meeegas]

I sort of think this app should text my husband directly 😂

[heyyyladysherlock-deactivated20]

[meeegas]

ummm weird day to log back on to tumblr after so long...

[meeegas]

I see some old friends got new blogs. Hit me up if you’ve started one over the last month or so! I don’t wanna miss you 💜