Child: What’s a VHS?
Me:
i have honest to god never seen a santa clause reaction gif in my entire life
OH MY GOD

Love Begins
trying on a metaphor
Mike Driver

if i look back, i am lost

Discoholic 🪩

Andulka
hello vonnie
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation

shark vs the universe
taylor price
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JVL
todays bird

Janaina Medeiros
h
Monterey Bay Aquarium

JBB: An Artblog!
sheepfilms
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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@meelka
Child: What’s a VHS?
Me:
i have honest to god never seen a santa clause reaction gif in my entire life
OH MY GOD
This…should be illegal
in skyrim i married a homeless man and even though we are married and he lives in my huge fuckin house he still wears rags and asks me to give him 1 gold whenever i see him
that’s just what men are like
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.” The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.” The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.” The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk
Originally posted by disneyasastrology
BWAHAHAHAHAH.
the way i learned this, it was always told through spoken word. And you’d do the door thing for ages. AGES. literally just making up any old material. ‘behind the foam door is a door made of spinach’ that kind of shit. Go on until whoever is listening has already begged you to stop and has now gone on to pleading, clutching your shirt on their knees pleading. And when you finally said the last line? People went fucking nuts Like there was a good chance of just getting the teeth knocked out of you after telling that joke.
A friend of mine did that shit for 30 minutes on a camp once. The entire fucking bus just exploded in anger when she finished. It was a fucking massacre.
i want to fucking die i was at the dollar store and i carefully picked up an orange gatorade and went “sexy boy….” because i thought no one else was around but it turns out i was WRONG
i know because i heard a quiet “what the fuck bro” from the next aisle over
my question is why were you calling an orange gatorade “sexy boy”
how i feel about orange gatorade is none of your buisness
did i ever tell ppl about the time me and my family thought my older brother was gay and dating his best friend? they used to hold hands and cuddle and shit all the time and cause my brothers super quiet we kinda just thought that was him coming out and didn’t really say anything about it. this went on for maybe two yrs and then one day he arrives home with this girl and is all ‘id like you guys to meet my girlfriend’. at this point everyone is ’????’ and my mom is literally crying and like ‘u broke up with James?!?!?!’ and honestly I’ve never seen a man more confused in his life and yeah that’s the time my family fucked up for like 2 yrs
Why were they cuddling and holding hands may I ask
because they wanted to
let guys be intimate friends 2k17
anyone would be lucky to date me. i was “a pleasure to have in class”
WHY DID THIS HAVE TO END
OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD
I don’t know what makes this scene so funny, Esteban’s imitation of Moseby; or the facial expressions of Moseby.
Child: What’s a VHS?
Me:
i have honest to god never seen a santa clause reaction gif in my entire life
OH MY GOD
u kno wat fuck college
Imma still go tho imma still go
Anyone else go through that occasional phase where toast and butter is just the tastiest fucking creation on the planet and you have to restrain yourself from eating an entire loaf of bread in ten minutes
not gonna lie i’m pretty uncomfortable like all the time