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Cassie By Tom Newton For ITG
Your mixed feelings about your parents are valid.
Shout out to people like me who have parents who are loving but are black holes of emotional labor… It took me a long time to realize that it’s okay to have mixed feelings about your parents, about your relationship with them.
Sometimes parents can love you but be somewhat toxic to you and your growth, and that’s a very hard realization to come to if you, like me, grew up extremely close to them.
Sometimes parents can love you genuinely but lack emotional maturity, forcing you to perform disproportionate amounts of emotional labor. Some parents manifest symptoms of their mental illness in ways that are toxic to your mental illness.
Some parents, like mine, try so hard to be good parents but fall back on habits of emotional manipulation because they haven’t processed their own traumas and are modeling behavior they grew up with. That doesn’t make their behavior acceptable, and it’s okay to feel exhausted and hurt when they betray you. You don’t have to forgive every mistake.
I want you to know that it’s okay to protect yourself, to need some space apart from them. The love you have for your parents is still valid, and you are making the right decision.
Placing a safe emotional distance between myself and my parents has been one of the most difficult, heartbreaking processes I’ve ever gone through… it hurts to try to curb the strength of your own natural empathy around people you love. It feels disingenuous to your heart’s natural state.
But I promise you, you are not hard-hearted or ungrateful, and you are not abandoning them. You are making a decision about your own emotional, mental, and spiritual health.
I know what it’s like in that confusing grey area of love mixed with guilt and anxiety, of exhaustion and quasi-manipulation and unreciprocated emotional labor, and I promise you, you are not alone.
Your mixed feelings about your parents are valid.
Thank you thank you thank you bless this post ohmygod thank you
Allure Mag
drone photo ©Hanbing Wang
As some of you may know, I have been medically transitioning since 2016. The past 2 years have been filled with a great deal of personal g
Hi everyone!! I haven’t made a post like this literally in 3 years because I have been doing okay financially. My transition was kickstarted thanks to a GoFundMe I did and I have been holding myself down ever since. Going into 2019, I am determined to implement the surgical alleviation of my dysphoria into my life, but I need y’alls help.
Please consider reblogging/donating to my GoFundMe, because I cannot do this alone. You have no idea how happy it would make me to see the changes I need to have in order to feel 100% unified mind, body, and soul.
If you don’t like GoFundMe posts you can unfollow because I will be reposting this until I reach my goal.
Thank you!! 😘
Graeco-Roman chalcedony intaglio of Zeus enthroned, with scepter and eagle, dated to 30 BCE to 200 CE. The gold ring itself is modern. Found in the Thorvaldsens Museum.
The municipal cemetery in JELENIA GÓRA (Poland) 5