
ellievsbear
noise dept.
One Nice Bug Per Day
Doug Jones
d e v o n
taylor price
Show & Tell
Misplaced Lens Cap
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Cosmic Funnies

tannertan36
Game of Thrones Daily
occasionally subtle
★
Not today Justin

Origami Around
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

PR's Tumblrdome

Discoholic 🪩
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@meelonsquid
when god closes a door you reach your little paws under it and go mrrwwaaaooow mmreeaaow
is it okay for a man to have a bob..........
okay but he did a lot of things now didn't he. he turned that poor girl into a blue berries
also are we sure that's a man. there could be estrogen in the chocolate (imagines willy wonka as a beautiful and frightening woman) you know I think I could forgive anyone for turning a child blue and spherical
peer reviewed by someone who is on a first name basis with willy wonka. I win at posts
happened to my good friend ass creed
Years ago back when I worked in cubicle land, we were hiring junior software developers. They didn’t have to have a ton of experience, just a willingness to learn, and some demonstration of their software skills. Like: show me a program you wrote (any language) or a web site you designed. Anything.
And there was this one guy I talked with who seemed super sharp, but had virtually zero experience writing software. When it came time to do the show-n-tell part of the interview he whips out his laptop, brings up a website, and spins it around to show me what he made.
A website of tiny ceramic frogs.
Not for sale. Just… all these ceramic frogs, organized into categories. Frogs on bicycles, frogs with hats, frogs sitting on lily pads. It was a virtual museum of ceramic frogs in web form.
I scrolled through his online collection of frogs, slightly baffled.
“This is your website?” I asked finally.
“Yep!”
“You coded this yourself?” I popped into view-source mode and poked around some incredibly well-formatted, well-commented html. I nodded slowly. This guy was meticulous.
“Yep!”
“So… where’d all the frogs come from?”
“I made those too,” he says, beaming.
And while I’m processing this he rummages in his bag and pulls out a little ceramic frog working at a computer terminal. He places it on the table before us, next to the laptop.
“And THIS one,” he says, “I made for you! As a thank you for the interview.”
It was adorable. I hired him on the spot. I mean, why not? Worst case he’d wash out in 90 days and we’d hire somebody else. He turned out to be one of the best developers on our team.
And yes, his cubicle was loaded with ceramic frogs.
I have been a sheep caretaker for like two days and already I'm like. Wow. I get it.
I get why these were some of the earliest mammals to ever be domesticated. They look up to humans with this sort of dumb but all at once innocent and pure and trusting expression. They're happy to see you. They follow you around. They like to be rubbed under their chins. Maybe its just some latent Scottish highland shepherd DNA I still have in me but I look at my sheep charges and suddenly I see why the love of God for humanity is so often described as a shepherd and his sheep. I'd fight a wolf for these guys. I'd go way the Hell out of my way for them. I'd carry their young for miles on my own back.
nearly 80k reblogs and how many of you eat lamb
The ancient shepherds I'm referencing also ate lamb lol
Wondering why this video I shared of a white man with all of his skin showing and his penis prominently protruding in his underwear is not being marked mature... But a Black woman's back fat got marked mature... A Black woman's skin got marked mature the moment I shared it... HMMMMMMM.
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
THATS CRAZY
The key to writing good fanfiction is to harbor a deeply humiliating desire, and the trick there is that even pretty basic and societally-accepted desires like “being held” and “being wanted” CAN and WILL be humiliating if they’re intense enough. Become so estranged from human connection that the idea of someone playing with your hair fills you with yearning so deep you feel like you’re going to throw up and you will write some banger fanfiction. It might have some other consequences too but idrk about that.
i firmly believe that one of the reasons tumblr latched onto project hail mary so hard is because we're all so obsessed with the dead wife trope lately and grace is his own dead wife. half of the book/film is grace experiencing a dead wife montage about himself and that's beautiful to me
Yeah I saw the lovecraftian horrors and didn’t succumb to madness. What- no I’m not a cultist, James. For Christ’s sake. What you’re forgetting my friend is that HP Lovecraft wasn’t a flexible man. His brain simply wasn’t stretchy enough to take it all in. I however, have short term memory issues. Flexibility is the name of the game when you can’t remember if you ate lunch or not. What’s the size of the universe? Big. You knew that already, James. Come on now. You don’t need to witness the terrifying ocean at the base of the entirety of reality itself to know that. Pass the brandy.
You must imagine the character I’ve created here wearing a suit and a monocle, by the way.
During a Eldritch Horrors based tabletop RPG my character was a young dandy who wasn't particularly interested in all this monster mystery stuff but his father (my brother's character) was a researcher who WAS very into it, so Bertie went along to make sure the old man didn't get into too much trouble. It was your average Eldritch Horrors RPG in that you don't make your characters with the expectation that they will survive for very long, both the game itself and the genre are very intent on turning your characters inside out, driving them insane, and blowing them up in no particular order.
The thing was, everything in this nightmare hellscape just seemed to keep coming up Bertie because the man was too stupid to realize what genre he was in. Every time he had to roll for a sanity check whenever he saw something crazy, the dice treated him so well that he just... didn't get it. Gee that sure is a funny costume. There's something wrong with that dog. These mean guys in stupid hats are trying to hurt that young lady, we can't have that! I had not built him this way, his intelligence stats weren't even that bad, random chance just made it so that this man was living a scooby doo adventure while everyone else was being consumed by The Horrors. The final straw was at the end of an adventure when Bertie escaped from the cultist headquarters by breaking out through the mansion's front window on a motorcycle with a hot rescued sacrificial maiden clinging to his back and leading the cultists on a merry chase through the hedge maze while the other adventurers escaped. His sanity score? HIGHER than when the adventure had begun. He had found the whole experience quite thrilling and felt very good about life in general! Bertie retired from adventuring to marry the maiden he rescued and care for his aging father and delight and bemuse his friends at the gentleman's club with stories of his 'wacky' adventures. I didn't want to risk breaking his ridiculous lucky streak.
as humiliating as it is to repost myself from a light-mode-user's reddit screenshot, i cannot allow this year's zenquish to go uncelebrated.
celebrate my favorite holiday with me, my friends.
if the emperors of rome can add extra months that actually fuck the calendar up i'm allowed to add a new month that lasts 0.0000 picoseconds
the last holiday that hasn't been commercialized
i made this up when i was a little kid and nothing would make me happier than to see people celebrating it for years to come
zenquish approaches. prepare to rejoice! briefly!
So briefly in fact that the preparation and the afterparty for the celebration makes up exactly 100% of the celebration, kinda like new years except even shorter
see, you get it
chatgpt is a threat to the symbiotic relationship between fanfic writers and their betas. we are losing our traditions. eradicate the soulless machine and ask your friend who has a full time job and 3 kids to annotate your omegaverse fanfiction like any other responsible adult.
tomorrow I'll do the possible
seeing people say "this trope has been done to death" as if that's ever stopped anyone from eating bread. BREAD HAS BEEN DONE TO DEATH FOR LITERALLY THOUSANDS OF YEARS AND WE STILL WANT MORE BREAD. write your chosen one AU. write your coffee shop meet-cute. write your 47th iteration of "there was only one bed" because guess what??? we're still hungry.
buzzkilling isn't cool and subversive anymore. there is so little buzz and i'm taking it where i can get it
look, i work at a morgue, i get to see every day how withered and small bodies can get when someone was sick. it’s awful. do you know how bone-thin a leg can get. or how a stomach really looks beneath the ribs when it’s wasted away. the way people’s eyes and cheeks press in to their skull like they’re clinging on for dear life. they died like that, and you want to try and sell me a lie, a pill, a miracle cure that’ll make me live in that state? that’ll make my friends look like that, my family, the people i love? to see corpses in them?
this job makes me appreciate all the more bodies lived in and well-loved. please eat that second serving. please give yourself treats as much as you want. life is not long enough to suffer through it. you’ll be plenty skinny when you’re dead.
sometimes instead of a horrid little monk, divine visions of lesbians dance in my head dispensing wisdom