ok but, thatās p much exactly what it is lmao
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ok but, thatās p much exactly what it is lmao
Spell: Chaos Defrost, a targeted burst of heat that instantly and safely thaws any frozen item or creature not lawfully-aligned
lizsword
its good
Neurotypical: Wait, so like, your brain tells you to do bad stuff all the time?
My Brain:
Me: ...uh, yeah
So, I took my newborn in for a nose-job⦠and his pediatrician flipped out on me. Can you freaking believe it?!?!
I told her that his nose looked different than my husbandās, and Iād like them to look the same. This should avoid any awkward questions when heās older. The doc looked at me like I was insane and told me that was no reason to perform elective surgery on a neonate.
I told her that the girls would probably like him better when he started dating if he had a nose-job. Again, baffled, the doctor told me that she could not, and would not, perform cosmetic surgery on a newborn for such a ridiculous reason.
I told the doc that I had heard a rumor that my son would be less likely to get rhinitis later in life if we removed a little of his schnozola. Starting to show a little concern for my parenting, she told me that there was no conclusive evidence to support elective surgery as a means of effectively preventing complications or infection in adulthood.
Starting to get impatient, I told her that I just wanted to get this over with. After all, my son would probably decide later in life that heād like a designer nose, so it was better to just have it done now while he was too little to remember, and probably couldnāt feel it anyway. Looking at me like I was bonkers, she asked me what made me think that this perfectly formed little person wasnāt capable of feeling pain. Hadnāt he shrieked when he had a tiny pin-prick to draw blood from his heel? Of course he could feel pain!
I told her that I thought it would be easier for him to keep his nose clean if we just took a tiny bit off. I could see the doc making a mental note to call child protective services on my crazy ass, but she humored me and explained that itās very easy to teach a child how to properly clean his nose.
I told her that I was afraid that years later, all of his friends at school might have a certain kind of nose, and that he would be ridiculed. The doctor told me that everyoneās nose is different, and that she would not be performing elective surgery on a newborn for such an asinine reason.
I told her that I heard that lots of people were having their newbornsā noses done. She didnāt even have an answer for this one⦠she was just so shocked that her jaw hung open!
I told her that this was my baby, and I wanted this nose-job done today! After all, how risky could it be?!?! The doc told me that performing surgery on a newborn is always risky, and should only be done when absolutely necessary for the well-being of the baby. END OF DISCUSSION.
No nose-job would be happening for my baby today.
Disappointed, I began to leave.
But then I remembered the other reason I had brought my baby in to the pediatricianās office that day.
āWhen can we have him circumcised?ā I asked.
āWe can fit him in today if youād like!ā replied the doc. āAlthough your insurance doesnāt cover it any longer so youāll have to pay the full $500 up front. Is that okay?ā
āSure!ā I replied, as I walked my baby back
TL;DR, donāt cut off pieces of your baby.
What the fuck, why would you give your baby a nose job? I donāt mind the circumcision part but the nose job gets meā¦
this post was quite literally made for people like you and it went right over your head.
amazing.
even with those four numbers there are countless possible combinations good luck with figuring out which one is the right one you punk
*straightens calculator*
Itās pretty likely that itās a four digit number, and as there are four digits chosen there, that means that there cannot be any repetition. This mean that there are:
n!/(n-4)! possible orders. As ānā is 4 (number of digits available).Ā 4!/0! which becomes 4x3x2x1/1 which simplifies to 24. That means that there are 24 possible combinations of codes. This would take you about two or three minutes to input all possible codes.
Unless an alarm goes off if you donāt get it right in 3 tries
*straightens calculator again*
Kick the fucking door in
well ātechnicallyā the code is most likley 1970. statistically, a majority of people, when told to choose a 4 digit code will choose their birth year. and this key pad is obviously a few years old to put it nicely, thats most likley it.Ā
some sherlock holmes shit just went down over here
No, no, no. Donāt base your deductions of psychology. Letās talk chemistry. When you first press a button, thereās more of the natural oils on your skin, and therefore it wears down the numbers on the keys faster. Obviously 0 is the first one, then. Try 0791 first.
Sherlock out.
it got better
and this is why the sherlock fandom could either rule the world or end itā¦.
Close, but not quite, I think. People will almostĀ alwaysĀ choose a number they can remember. Whatās memorable about 0791? Try 0719 - a birthday, 19th of July. That is more likely.
Those deductions are great and all, but unnecessary.
The light is green.
The door is already open.
And thatās why we have a John Watson.
This is ātop 10 favorite postsā level.
Omg, itās actually on my dash! This post is like a fossil!
PSA for Lucifer show fans thinking about starting the comics (or are interested in the comics version of Cain).
The first comics you want are Sandman by Neil Gaiman and then Luciferās solo comics which spin-off from Sandman.Ā This is what loosely inspired the Fox TV show.Ā I urge you to read all of Sandman before starting Lucifer or certain points in the Lucifer comics might not make sense.Ā Also Sandman is just really, really good.Ā
Start with the graphic novel Sandman: Preludes and Nocturnes (This is where Lucifer is introduced, via issue 4 of SandmanĀ āA Hope in Hellā and Cain was introduced in issue 2 āImperfect Hosts.ā).Ā Ā
(from issue 2 of Sandman.)
The storyline where Lucifer quits ruling Hell (and where you first see Mazikeen) is Sandman: Season of Mists.
The first time you see Lux and Lucifer playing Piano is Sandman: The Kindly Ones.
If you are trying to read individual comic book issues and are seeking out the character of Cain, the version in The Sandman Universe (which includes Luciferās solo comics) is the version originally from The House of Mystery horror anthology comics.Ā
And remember, if Cain doesnāt look like this:
Youāre probably reading the wrong continuity.
Good luck.Ā And remember Stick to the road.Ā Stay clear of the moors.Ā And Beware the moon...Ā Ā
ā¦
IĀ mean you should probably just stick to Neil Gaimanās Sandman, Lucifer, and anything labeledĀ āSandman Universe.āĀ Ā
Avoid New 52, Constantineās Vertigo comics (only his main DC pre-New 52 version has any connection), also avoid Demon Knights and the 2012 version of āI⦠Vampire,ā or youāll get very confused.
Ā AlsoĀ āFirst of The Fallenā is not Lucifer.Ā Thatās a separate character (even though thereās a few points where Lucifer was called First of the fallen).
Current canon has it that Lucifer was the fourth to fall and just the first Angel to fall and āFirst of The Fallenā is a whole other character.Ā (Thatās how they explain away that one.)
It can get a bit confusing but donāt let that discourage you from reading the original stories.Ā Theyāre very good.
Science side of Tumblr: how can dragons breathe fire?
There are three variants of dragons. One of them possessesĀ a gland that produces a liquid, which spontaneously combusts when coming into contact with oxygen. Some phosphorus compounds could do that for example. The second one possesses two glands instead, which produce so-called hypergolic propellants, fluids that ignite when they come into contact with one another. The third kind stores the methane bacteria in their stomach produce, and expells it when breathing fire. In their mouth thereās a piezoelectric crystal, which is a substance that produces a spark when placed under mechanical stress and could thus serve to ignite the methane gas. Or itās magic.
BETWEEN RAGNAROK AND YGGDRASIL
I recently re-read Neil Gaimanās Norse Mythology. The first time, I read it because Iām a huge Neil Gaiman fan. Heās probably my favorite contemporary fiction author, and American Gods is easily one of my favorite novels, with all of its magic crackling under Americaās inherent weirdness. The second time, though, I read it with a more particular frame, to think more specifically about a cultural heritage that I have, as the descendent of Swedish immigrants, but one that I had not been taught or deeply considered.
Part of the desire to learn more about this cultural heritage and mythology comes from a place of personal history. Two years ago this summer, I took my then two-year-old son to Swedeburg, Nebraska, to bury my namesake, my great uncle Carl [1]. There in the cemetery surrounded by the mossy headstones of five generations of my Swedish Lutheran forebears, a sense of being from a place and having a thread back to another place out of my time and memory began to unspool. Itās been a quiet following of the thread, which feels only fitting for these stoic Scandinavians who came to farm the Midwest and start little churches and teach.
This contemplative unspooling has also come in the contemporary context of the Black Lives Matter movement, and with a desire to deconstruct the oppressiveness of what āWhiteā means, as someone who definitely is lacking in melanin and comes genetically from northern Europe. Writing in the New York Times [2], professor and author Nell Irvin Painter says, āAn essential problem here is the inadequacy of white identity. Everyone loves to talk about blackness, a fascinating thing. But bring up whiteness and fewer people want to talk about it. Whiteness is on a toggle switch between ābland nothingnessā and āracist hatred.āā¦Eliminating the binary definition of whiteness ā the toggle between nothingness and awfulness ā is essential for a new racial vision that ethical people can share across the color line.ā
Whiteness has always privileged my Protestant, northern European self. Even as it historically excluded Catholics, southern Europeans, and others, they have been, over time and in this country, sponged up into that emptiness. Whiteness is an erasure, of others and of the beneficiaries, an all-consuming blankness of power.
Breaking that toggle switch, filling that void of sameness, then, needs specificity. This is not to say that having a cultural heritage you are aware of and a participant in is a panacea for systemic injustice and prejudice, and history is filled with conflict because āyouā are not like āme.ā But if you are more aware of who you are and are comfortable with it, there is less need for an impulse to define yourself in opposition to, through power over others ā if we white people are to dismantle whiteness, we need to know where to put ourselves.
Which brings us back to Norse mythology, something that I have claim to but have never learned. There is a grim inevitability in the Norse myths, in that we know how they end. All these tales are simply slouching towards Ragnarok, the final battle where the Aesir will be wiped out. In Gaimanās hands itās a dry, almost sardonic end, and one that is of the godās own making, rooted in their own hubris and self-confidence. Odin, the All-Father, may have wandered the world, given up his eye and crucified himself for all the knowledge in the world, but all his power still makes him powerless to stop the end from coming. The strength of Thor and his hammer Mjƶlnir cannot win the battle.
The agents of this destruction are the children of Loki, the trickster god who the Norse gods donāt trust but believe they can control. Lokiās children are Jormungundr the Midgard serpent who is wrapped around the world and spits poison; Hel, the ruler of the dead who did not die valiantly, with her bowl Hunger, her knife Famine, and her bed Sickbed; and Fenris Wolf, the eater of the world, and enormous wolf bound and held captive through the treachery of the Aesir. The god Frey had a sword that could have defeated the fire demon Surtr, but he gave it up in pursuit of his wife Gerd.
As Gaiman puts it in his introduction, āIt was the fact that the world and the story ends, and the way that it ends and is reborn, that made these gods and the frost giants and the rest of them tragic heroes, tragic villains. Ragnarok made the Norse world linger for me, seem strangely present and current, while other, better-documented systems of belief felt as if they were part of the past, old things.ā
There is rebirth ā man and woman survive Ragnarok and emerge from Yggdrasil, the immense tree of life that holds all the worlds together. Balder, Odinās second son who was the āwisest, the mildest, the most eloquentā of the gods comes back from the underworld. If myths like this are passed down with morals or warnings that we are trying to discern or give our lives shape and meaning, then the promise of the world beginning anew, after foolishness, violence and destruction, that is worth holding on to. It also demands that we question ourselves and who we are in this, how our own actions and history must be confronted.
The other, more unsettling reason to read the Norse myths with an eye to dismantling whiteness is that white supremacists love their conception of Vikings, love a made-up all-white Norse myth, and have, through the prison-industrial complex, spread a racist version of Norse heathenism. [3] What would the All-Father say about these morons? Maybe Gaimanās line about Ragnarok, āTwilight will come to the world, and the places where the humans live will fall into ruin, flaming briefly, then crumbling down and crashing into ash and devastation.ā
David Perry of the University of Minnesota did have this to say about the misguidedness of Viking-loving white supremacists in the Washington Post [4], that āthe Vikings of Europe did not exist in pure white racial isolation. The Vikingsā¦tapped into rich multicultural trading networks ā fighting when useful, but delighted to engage in economic and cultural exchange with great powers of Eurasia. That included the Jews of Khazaria, Christians dedicated to both Rome and Constantinople and Muslims of every sect and ethnicity. Islamic coins, in fact, have been found buried across the Viking world, a testimony to the richness of this exchange.ā
Thereās something profound about that exchange, pointing other ways forward than the pillaging, blood-soaked, domination stories and assumptions weāre living through. Whiteness does not have to exist in this way, we have been as flawed, as self-involved, as short-sighted and as vain as the Aesir, and there is an end coming. āBurn it to the ground,ā like Michelle Wolfās note before the White House Correspondentās Dinner put it. [5] Or this excerpt from Danez Smithās extraordinary new poem, āsay it with your whole black mouthā: [6]
so many white people are alive because
we know how to control ourselves.
how many times have we died on a whim
wielded like gallows in their sun-shy hands?
here, standing in my own body, i say: the next time
they murder us for the crime of their imaginations
i donāt know what iāll do.
i did not come to preach of peace
for that is not the huntedās duty.
i came here to say what i canāt say
without my name being added to a list
A coda, of sorts. I think a lot about these Scandinavians on the prairie, and what they did to survive, and who they displaced to turn the open fields into farmland, and I donāt have any resolution in that. But I did, last weekend, find an extraordinary collection of poems, Sacred Hearts, by Phebe Hanson, published by Milkweed Editions in 1985. [7] The daughter of a Lutheran pastor who grew up on the prairie and then moved to Minneapolis to become a teacher, she immediately fit into my constellation of great aunts. The collection is full of spare, precise, and unblinking examinations of mortality, gender expectations, sexual violence, and change. For poems a year younger than I am and about experiences far older, they are also poems for now. This, from āWhy I Have Simplified My Life,ā knocked me flat:
Iāve had to give up my father,
Who went to join my mother, sister, and brother,
in that cemetery outside Sacred Heart, Minnesota,
one snowy November day.
Now that Iāve lost my last buffer against death,
there probably isnāt anything
I canāt learn to get along without.
Ragnarok is coming. There is work to do.
[1] http://catiyas.tumblr.com/post/152140001171/the-grace-of-a-more-perfect-union
[2] https://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/21/opinion/sunday/what-is-whiteness.html
[3] https://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/intelligence-report/1998/new-brand-racist-odinist-religion-march
[4] https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2017/05/31/white-supremacists-love-vikings-but-theyve-got-history-all-wrong/
[5] https://www.npr.org/about-npr/607099827/fresh-air-interview-with-michelle-wolf
[6] https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/say-it-your-whole-black-mouth-0
[7] https://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Hearts-Milkweed-Editions-Hanson/dp/0915943085
This.
If this aināt me
some trends i am really down for
being nice to people working in customer service
girls in thigh-highs
receiving $400,000
pasta
IāM LAUGHING SO HARD OH MY GOD
āTales from the Pitā #1762
"What is the healthy daily dosis of Blogatog?Doctors recommend at least twenty posts a day. : )" What's the healthy daily dose of the delicious cards?
You kids, if Iāve told you once, Iāve told you a thousand times, donāt eat the delicious cards!
The last time I really followed the story was Return to Ravnica. I've gotten bits and pieces since then, but not really the full story. Any advice for how I could get myself caught up? I really want to, as I've also started playing again. (also, I think it's awesome that you guys have a tumblr and interact with us, and look at our fan content! I promise to deliver lots of fanfic to you guys) from @simicombine, the magic side blog I just made :)
All of Magic Story is archived on our site, and weāre happy to help point you in the right direction! If you want the big-full-complete picture, weād recommend starting with the origins of the Gatewatch starting with Magic Origins stories from the summer of 2015. This article by Jenna Helland links to all the origin stories.From there, we have archives from all the major storylines after that:Battle for Zendikar and Oath of the GatewatchShadows Over Innistrad and Eldritch MoonKaladesh and Aether RevoltAmonkhet and Hour of DevastationAnd on this page you can find all the stories for Ixalan and Rivals of Ixalan.All of that can be pretty daunting! If youāre just looking for context for the new Dominaria stories, they take place immediately after the events of Amonkhet and Hour of Devastation, so that might help you there. Dominaria story also stands pretty well on its own, so if you just want to read from the latest set of stories by Martha Wells weāre sure youād have a good time with that.And Iām sure our other story and flavor fans on tumblr would be happy to help out too!
Want to catch up on the story?