Welcome To The Schmittyverse

An ask blog for several Schmittys trying to pass the time in the same office somewhere in the multiverse.

[meet-the-schmittyverse]

Welcome to the Schmittyverse

Thanks for stopping by! This is an ask blog for a semi-open ended story in which five versions of Schmitty from jackbox are grouped together to do a job for the guardian of the Multiverse. This blog is inspired by HLVRV as well as other projects I’ve attempted to start in the past. You can follow me for more of this and more at @schmitty-schmitstinstein. Below are the roles for our players:

Classic Schmitty: basically my version of Schmitty from general lore. Call her Schmitty or Prime (as in Schmitty Prime. That works too). Ageless god who’s probably around 50 as a human. She/It pronouns. Text is purple.

D&D au Schmitty: a version of Schmitty from a dungeons and dragons inspired world. It’s a changeling bard-barbarian who was forced into the role of a god. Around 50 years old. Her nickname is Mystique. She/it pronouns. Text is blue.

Vampire Schmitty: a version of Schmitty from a world full of supernatural creatures. Usually she’s bound to a certain ghost but he’s not here for some reason. 200-year-old vampire. She/it pronouns. Nickname is Thing. Text is red.

JJBA AU Schmitty: a version of Schmitty from the world of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure. She has a stand called Peanut Butter Jelly Time that can fuse things together. It recently found out that it is technically a daughter of Kars and an ultimate lifeform. Recently adopted into the Joestar family as well. She/it pronouns. 20 years old, nickname is Patch. Text is orange.

Binjpocalypse Schmitty: a version of Schmitty from a world where Binjpipe won. He now leads a revolution against them to take down the company, but she’s still been affected by them in many ways. He/her pronouns. 46 years old. Nickname is Anarch. Text is Pink.

Designs will come out soon

And now for the rules

No bigoted asks at all. Keep any sort of hate towards marginalized groups away from this blog. All asks that break this will immediately be deleted and accounts blocked.

This goes for hate to the blog in general too.

Please don’t send any extremely explicit asks. Sex jokes and innuendos are fine, but please don’t send things beyond that.

Feel free to tease the gang or mess with them. Also don’t be afraid to start up some angst or tension.

Magic anons are highly encouraged!

If you’re confused about something on this blog, feel free to ask. I can answer ooc.

I don’t like to roleplay ships with other people but feel free to send questions about them in-universe.

Have fun!

[meet-the-schmittyverse]

Oh yeah, Anarch, what exactly was it that happened to your world’s Cookie, and where are his memories? (If answering the latter question puts your world at risk, then you can skip it.)

I don’t know what else to say. Binjpipe fucking killed him. They reset him until there was nothing left of him except got the sound of his annoying fucking voice. Not like I know anymore than that. Nate and Guy just have me the rundown. I’d escaped long before he did. Motherfucker didn’t even trust me enough to get him out of there.

As for his memories…well a rogue android copy got ‘em and joined our side. He’s not cookie. He’s someone else that I need to get back to on top of everything else. Not like I can ever get any break from thinking about this anyways…

[meet-the-schmittyverse]

Hey Incident how are you feeling now since you met the other Schmitty's?

Other mes? Oh god, my head hurts…

Breach squeezes her eyes shut as she rolls onto her back. The others exchange worried glances.

Hey…you need a hand?

Just…need a moment to lie here. ‘Least I can finally stop moving for a bit

I’ll look for some pillows then. There’s gotta be something comfy to sit on in this office…

[meet-the-schmittyverse]

Hey, what’s this?

Schmitty crouches down to the ground, noticing a post-it note right by its feet.

Text: keep an eye on this 4 me. -S.W. PS: you might wanna step back

Okay…? Where’s the thing we need to look after?

And why would I need to move? It’s not like it would send anything falling from the sky right…? OHMYGOD-

A newcomer comes crashing down from the ceiling, falling right on Schmitty. Thanks to her body being relatively malleable, the newcomer bounces right off…and falls right on her face seconds later.

Ow…wait, where the fuck am I now?!

The incident?

The incident.

Breach is open for asks

[meet-the-schmittyverse]

so earlier i think... anarch, i believe was your name, mentioned office work. what does that entail, exactly? what kind of office work are you doing?

-✒️⚫

Long story short…apparently the guardian of the multiverse or whoever it is has all these files and data entry shit for every universe it manages, but apparently ‘an incident came up,’ and there’s nobody else around to do this work, so now we’re here, doing all this busy work instead of taking care of our own lives.

I’m just glad we’re not the ones taking care of the incident this time.

Well, right now I think we’re sorting reports on how much some of these universes need to be monitored, but more work might come along soon. I don’t know what I’m even expecting it to be.

[meet-the-schmittyverse]

can we see you hold the sweet quips schmitty? :3

I sadly didn’t bring any of ‘em with me, you know, ‘cause I was kinda picked up out of my universe and dropped here, but I’m sure I have a picture! Let me see here…

chirp! chirp!

Hang on…

Looks like I did have a couple stowaways after all!

The moon’s a new one.

Yeah! I got this lil guy round the time of game 3!

Must be nice. The studio still standing n’ all

Fuck. Sorry.

Mhm

You wanna hold one of ‘em?

…

That would be nice.

[meet-the-schmittyverse]

Schmitty are the Quips your sweet children?

Oh, you know it! I’m a proud mom of 16…and counting.

But yeah, the quips are indeed my babies, my schmittlings if you will, and I’d give them the entire world and more!

I really miss ‘em right now…

[meet-the-schmittyverse]

um, hello, Anarch.

I’m sorry if this hurts you but…

Are Cookie, Nate, Guy, Bob, and Buzz ok in your universe?

Okay? No. Not really. Alive? That’s…more complicated.

Guy’s probably the least affected right now. Binjpipe never got to her, but when she heard about everything, she went into the company as a spy to get us information. So far, I don’t think he’s been found out, but I’m not exactly there to check right now.

Nate’s thankfully out of there and resting back at home base. Binjpipe was keeping her up and beaming nonstop information into her brain for a long time, so they’ve mostly been recovering since.

I haven’t heard from Bob in a while. Maybe they’re off planet or something? Hopefully binjpipe’s reaches don’t extend into space.

Cookie’s…more or less dead. Except for his voice. It’s the first and last thing everyone hears each day and it fucking sucks. At least his memories are stored somewhere safe, just as long as they don’t find…you know what, that’s for a different time.

And Buzz…Buzz is the reason we’re in this hellscape. I stopped giving a crap when all of this came to light.

And no worries about the question hurting. I’m used to it at this point.

[meet-the-schmittyverse]

vampire schmitty how is life as Vampire I wonder what being a vampire is like for you (coming as a vampire kin)

Not too bad! Though I don’t have anything else to compare it too…

But I don’t have to worry about food, since I only need to feed once or twice a week, and I’ve had a nice place in the woods for the last…hundred or so years, and I’ve only had to turn one person so far! Though people keep showing up at my door, because of the rumor of ‘the thing in the woods…’ Gets annoying sometimes.

Other than that last part, it’s alright!

[meet-the-schmittyverse]

Oh, thank god. We’re finally connected.

Let’s see here…just gotta press this and…

There we go! Figured it would be nice to put a face to the name! Since, you know, there’s a whole bunch of us here! This should be the part where I say hi, and that my name’s Schmitty, but that goes for everyone else here, so that’s where nicknames come in! I’m sure someone will think of some!

Until then…say hi other mes!

Oh hello! Haven’t had an audience like this in a while…don’t know how I feel about that…

I’m doing this right, right? Does everyone in there know I’m here?

You’re fine! Just move over! The faster we can do this, the faster we can get this over with and I can go back. I’ve got actual important work back home.

Technically this is important too-

Not as far as I’m concerned. Office work won’t save the world, will it?

Fine. Your turn is up then.

Shit! It’s my turn! Um, hi I guess? Ugh, I’m really bad at this! Someone else take it!

Okay, I got it!

Well, since you got as much of an intro as possible, feel free to ask us shit! What do you want to know?

Ooc: Asks are officially open! Have at it!