Chapter 27: Under Da Sea
I woke up, once again, wrapped around Jared in a state of undress. I could get used to waking up like this. I always seemed to wake up before him, I supposed he needed the sleep with all of the travelling and recent physical activities, both outdoor and… well in private too. I was always a bad sleeper anyway, my mum always said that I didn’t get a full night’s sleep until I was at least 5 Years old. I used to drive Dani mad. We used to share a room and I’d always be up until a stupid hour in the morning reading or listening to music. Dani was and still is the complete opposite to me. She can do nothing but sleep for days at a time.
Jared shifted in his sleep, his hand trailing over the skin on my back making me shiver, bringing me back to the present. I felt a smile creep onto my face as I marvelled at the beautiful man that lay before me. How could I have only known him for 3 months? And I had only spent about 5 of those days with him. I sat up on my elbow and frowned. I hardly knew him but I also felt like I’d known him for years. I’m not sure how long I watched him for. I took the time to study his face. He really was beautiful. Everything was so defined, his cheek bones. His Jaw line. I wanted to touch him. Trace every perfect millimetre of his face. I wanted to drag my fingers (and / or tongue) through his stubble. I wanted to feel his eyebrows as they attempted to grow back. I found myself staring at his soft lips. I longed to press my own to him. I laid my head on his chest and shut my eyes, feeling the rise and fall of his gentle breathing.
I felt a moment of Déjà vu as I thought about how I could stay here forever. This was my happy place. I remember in my therapy sessions after the accident, my counsellor would always ask my about where my happy place was and I never knew. I didn’t have a happy place. I just felt the open black void of unhappiness and guilt. My happy place then would probably have been mine and Dani’s secret place, but I couldn’t have stayed there forever. Now this happy place, was a place I could and would stay for as long as possible. I opened my eyes as I felt Jared’s breathing begin to change.
His eyes opened slightly, as if he was still pretending to be asleep. He smiled as he rubbed my back.
“Hello.” He said, sleep thick in his voice. I titled my head and took him in.
“Hello yourself.” He shifted, pulling me closer to him so he could plant a kiss on my forehead. He struggled to juggle me and trying to sit up, but wouldn’t let me go as I tried to give him space to do so.
“The last time I woke up you were gone.” He said, stroking my hair.
“Well, I’m sorry that I’m human and had to pee. It didn’t turn out so badly though did it?” He smiled, probably remembering our shower. The best shower I personally have ever had. I shifted back away from Jared and laid across his legs, resting on my elbow. He looked down at my body, moving the cover away from me so he could get a better view. I felt slightly self-conscious. I looked away from him, I couldn’t watch him watching me. He reached over and took hold of my chin, forcing me to look at him. I felt myself redden under his crystal gaze.
“Do you have any idea how beautiful you actually are?” He asked me, totally sincere. The actual answer was: no. When I see myself I don’t think of myself as beautiful. I don’t really know how I see myself. I just don’t like it. I see all my flaws and very few positives. It was because of this that I didn’t know how to answer Jared and he was waiting for an answer. I shifted awkwardly and he sighed. He moved me, pulling me to him. I moved so that I was straddling him. However, here there was no escape from his eyes. He nuzzled my neck.
“You have the most beautiful skin. So soft and smooth,” he moved his head to catch my eyes as they flickered away from his. He reached up and gently pressed his fingertips against my lips, his other hand supporting my behind, “Your lips are also soft and smooth, and they are also very delicious.” As if to prove his point he brought his lips to mine and kissed me deeply before tugging at my lower lip with his teeth. My breathing, already heavy, hitched. He was driving me crazy. “Your eyes caught my attention the second I saw you. Not only are they the most beautiful and unique eyes I have ever seen, and believe me in my many many years I have seen a lot of eyes, they are also the kindest eyes I have ever seen. I love how they let me in when you try and shut me out. How they light up when you get excited and I especially like the way they look at me, although I don’t quite understand why.” As he spoke about my eyes, his were burning. I felt close to tears. No one had ever spoken to me or about me this way. I moved so that the crook of his neck was cradling my head. He stroked my back and rocked me backwards and forwards. I really was falling for this man.
It was 10:30 and we were up, dressed and fed after spending so long trying to get out of bed. Well, I say trying to get out of bed. Neither of us had any desire to get out of bed. Like I had already decided before Jared had woken up, I could have stayed there forever.
As I waited for Jared to get his coat on I reflected on how he saw me. He seemed to genuinely think that I was beautiful. He seemed to genuinely like me. This stumped me. It was like that man said yesterday, what did he see in me? Why was I special to him? Why did he pick me out of everyone at the café. Sally and Alison are stunning girls. Much prettier than me. Plus, He’s Jared Leto. He could have his pick of anyone and here he was… with me.
“Are you ready?” He asked, breaking my reverie. I looked at him and smiled, nodding. He took my hand and led me out of my apartment. He waited as I locked the door, praying I could do it without derping. I succeeded (yay for me). He took my hand again as I shouldered my over-night bag and walked out of my building with Jared.
We needed to stop off at his hotel room so I could leave my things there before we went out for the day. His hotel room was as beautiful and un used as ever. All white fabric and a panoramic view of London.
“Have you stayed here yet?” I asked as we walked in to the untouched suite.
“No.” He answered, settling down on the end of the bed, “But I like staying with you.” He grinned at me as I placed my things down on a chair.
“If you’d have told me you were coming you could have saved yourself the money.” I scolded him.
“I wanted to surprise you. And, anyway, it’ll give you a break.”
“Give me a break?”
“A chance to just relax, me being at your place puts you on edge.”
“Yes, because you’re there.” He looked hurt when I said this. I didn’t mean it in a way that this is a bad thing, “just because I’m not used to having anyone around me. Especially someone who’ll move bed covers out of the way to stare at my naked body.”
“I like your naked body.” I grinned at him, I know he did.
“Something that baffles me.” He stood and walked over to me, taking my face in his hands.
“One day Caine, you will understand why I think you’re so beautiful and you will see it for yourself.”
“Is that a promise Leto?”
“If it’s the last thing I do. Now come on. Grab your shit and lets go look at some fish.”
