ᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠ
ᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠ❝ someday you'll reach for me
I won't be there ❞

pixel skylines
dirt enthusiast
Cosmic Funnies
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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titsay
Monterey Bay Aquarium
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Game of Thrones Daily
will byers stan first human second
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JBB: An Artblog!
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@megline
ᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠ
ᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠ❝ someday you'll reach for me
I won't be there ❞
I have BPD. And I wanna say something.
It’s been a year and a half with my current Favourite Person (we're not romantically together if that matters). We’ve been through a lot — the kind of pain that breaks you, the kind of illusions that shatter, the kind of silence that feels like the end. But somehow, we’re still here.
This connection taught me things no therapy could explain in words. Not because it was easy, but because it was real.
What exactly it taught me:
· Any storm will pass. Even the one where you can’t breathe, where you’re sure nothing makes sense anymore. Tomorrow — or the day after — your body will get tired of suffering. And you’ll start breathing again. Not because you’re strong. Just because you’re alive.
· Pain doesn’t mean the end. Sometimes the other person pulls away, goes quiet, disappears into themselves. And you learn to wait. In panic, in obsession, trying your hardest not to split on them. It's so painful. it hurts so much you can barely live your life. But you learn. You catch yourself, when you feel like splitting and doing your best to give it another day to make a final decision. You learn to respect the others boundaries. You learn to stay away for a time being. Letting them know you’re still there without breaking the door down.
· You can respect someone’s boundaries and still love them, not hate instantly. He says “don’t touch” — and I learn not to. I live in hell for almost a month. But the storm has ended. And then one day, he touches me first. And through all of that, I slowly learn to see my own boundaries too.
What he does that helps me (without even knowing it):
He doesn’t fully understand what he is to me in the context of BPD. But somehow, he says and does the right things. He’s patient, honest, loving, caring in his own clumsy way. He thanks me for caring. He comes back after pulling away. He tells me it's not my fault. He tells me that I'm not annoying when I ask him directly, and I know he's being honest with me, cause we have agreed on that one. He reassures me, when I feel like he's slipping away, not cause I ask him to, but cause he just feels like he needs to do or say something on that matter. He doesn’t save me. He just stays and being honest. And that’s enough.
What I’ve realised:
· You can have an FP and still grow. Not despite the intensity, but because of it. The mirror they hold up shows you your own patterns — the fear of abandonment, the black-and-white thinking, the desperate need to be needed. And once you see it, you can start working with it.
· BPD is not a life sentence. I promise. Please, believe me. You’re not an unforgivable monster. You’re someone who feels too much, yes. But that doesn’t make you evil.
· Healing doesn’t always look like therapy. Sometimes it looks like a stupid joke shared late at night. Sometimes it’s just surviving the silence and realising you didn’t die.
Of course, having a right person in your life helps a lot here. But I know it won't last. I know, eventually, he will leave, like everybody else before and after. And I know it's going to be a hell of a ride. But I've learnt the storm will pass.
I’m not in constant therapy. I’m not always on meds (though both help, let’s be honest). But I’m learning — day by day — what it feels like to be different. And I keep trying to move toward that feeling.
It’s hard. God, it’s hard. But it’s possible.
I fight every single day for a tiny piece of normalcy. And if I can — so can you.
You’re not broken. You’re not evil. You’re just learning how to live with a brain that works differently. And that’s okay.
I'm so selfish in my attempts to be selfless.
i meant nothing to you anyway, of course you didn’t miss me the way i missed you
i have chronic fuck that old man disease and yes it’s incurable
You're everything and everything is you
» Rod Stewart
Doctor Who | Death in Heaven
sorry i overreacted i had no idea everything would be fine
as my final act of love, I will swallow every "please stay" and turn it into silence so you don't feel trapped by my ache
I hate it when bpd does that thing where if the person doesn't answer to you within 0.000000001 milliseconds your brain goes:
he's tired of me. I'm too much. I've ruined everything. It's the end. he won't answer. he doesn't need me anymore. he doesn't want me in his life anymore. I'm annoying. I wish I hadn't texted. I've done something wrong. he's mad at me but he doesn't wanna tell me cause he's too polite or feels sorry for me. I'm alone again. I always will be. nothing can be fixed. I can't be fixed, I'm broken. no. I'll make him regret he lost me, I'm so cool. I want him to see me being all cool and happy/or s##cidal without him. no. nope. nah-uh. it's my fault. I lost him. I'll never be needed. I have no place in life. I've ruined everything again. he'll leave. I'll stay. It was inevitable.
I want too much. I feel too much. I'm too much. I wanna end my pain so bad.
*you got 1 new notification*
AWWWW, Hiii, how have u been? 🥰🥰 oMG I love him sm sm he's my baby girl princess
I'm low-key living in whouffaldi dynamic rn, pls send me your condolences
okay
I'm sorry
I DON'T like rose tyler and I'm pretty sure that's mostly your fault, honestly.
Doctor who isn’t just a show .
It’s a promise that no matter how broken you feel, you are never beyond saving. That kindness matters. That curiosity is a form of courage. That running doesn’t always mean escaping, sometimes it means choosing hope over despair.
The Doctor doesn’t win because he’s the strongest. He wins because he cares. Because he listens. Because he refuses to stop believing that people can be better, even when the universe gives them every reason not to.
Doctor Who teaches you that change is terrifying, but stagnation is worse. That regeneration hurts, but it also means survival. That you can lose everything and still choose to be gentle. And maybe that’s why it stays with us. When we feel small and temporary, the TARDIS reminds us that there’s always more time and always more stars.
And somehow, impossibly, it keeps inviting us to step inside and believe again.
Rewatched The Deadly Assassin last night, and how did i miss him just. leaning over and eating a leaf for NO REASON while hiding from Goth. What is wrong with him
I haven't watched classiс who in a while so I somehow forgot how deep tom bakers voice actually is AND LITERALLY GOT SCARED LMAO
whatever this is