I needed to go Tumblr. As soon as I heard that Liam Payne had died, I was thrown back into the teenager I was. I remember listening to the first album and watching the video diaries. I remember falling in love with these five idiots and waiting for the next song to get me through the day. I remember scrolling through this site for leaks, for drama and for everything in between. I remember heading to OTR concert and excited to finally see the boys that made life a little less shitty. I remember finding out that Zayn leaving the band and remembering when they released an album without him. Then I remember them going on hiatus and wondering how my life would go on. Then they all slowly released music in their own and realized that life was now split into 5. I remember when my mom won tickets to get to hear Liam’s first solo first, and finally meeting one of my idols face to face. I remember growing up and slowly loosing touch with 1D. Then it’s 10 years later, and I start to relisten to all of the albums. I remember being a teen. That came in ebbs and flows for a while. Then I see that Harry and Liam attend a Niall concert, and I start to listen to my favorite 1D songs. Two days ago, only 2, I was listening to FOUR and loving every second. I randomly start singing Strip that Down in the kitchen and life is a little at peace, at least it transports me back to simpler times. Times when I was worried if one of the boys was seeing someone because they would for sure go out with me. And there was hope in my heart that maybe someday, I would see One Direction reunited with all of them. And then I’m driving home humming to Angel. And then my friend messaged me that Liam is dead. But how? Wasn’t he just at a Niall concert and wasn’t I just thinking about how 1D could reunite some day and that would be the best thing ever! But no, Liam Payne is dead. I never really expected to have a celebrity hit me like this. There were a few that shook me to my core but I think I’m still in denial that Liam is dead. Payno is gone. A part of my teenage youth is gone. A big chunk of my life is gone. A part that I thought I could lock away and never get hurt, is truly gone. Worst part is listening to Spaces and Moments and realizing the true heartbreak of this. Warning: Moments will get you. It will 100% get you. Be prepared to cry and wonder how our Payno was feeling in the final moments. Rest east Liam 💕
