About Japan, Life, You, Me And Depression

For selfhealing. And sharing experience. Sh*tpost acc: @katavamp

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[meguriaerunara]

Motivating post

Hey there, everyone. Last time I said I won’t write about how did I get this opportunity to go to Japan in details, but lately I realised that lot of people consider Japan as some unreachable, magical place. Well, it is magical, in that meaning of the word that once you go there it gets your soul and never let it go. :) But! Not unreachable, not at all! There are no unreachable goals, just insecurities and fear of stepping out of our comfort zone.

In my case: I always wanted to go to Japan, since my high school years. I studied japanese on the university, where I could apply for several scolarship options. But, during my BA years, I didn’t do it. I thought, I’m still young, I’ll have other opportunities later, when I’m ready, my japanese is not that good yet, it’s a totally foreign country, I can’t leave my family here for one year, and such excuses. They were nothing more. Excuses. After graduating, I realised I probably missed my only opportunity, so I applied to MA (masters level of university) just to apply for a scolarship to Japan, it kinda became my obsession. But still, when I finally applied, I had no real hope about the success. So, when the results came out, I was panicking. Did I really want this? Am I ready? Well, I wasn’t, but it didn’t matter. 

Stop finding excuses. Go fight for your dreams. Now. You’ll never feel more ready. You have to take the steps, or you just procrastinate to the point where the opportunity is gone... it’s better to regret that you did something, than that you didn’t. 

“Okay, but I can’t even speak japanese” Start learning it! You can use Duolingo, Memrise, follow japanese teaching blogs and vlogs, they’re all free! If I could do it, you can do it too!

“Yeah but I’m too old for this” I’m 27 right now. There was a guy on the scolarship, still studying at university, and he was 35 years old. Of course, the younger you are the easier to get scolarships and support, but there is always a way. 

“But, but, I’m poor, and have no opportunity at all...” If you really want something, I repeat it, there is always a way. I had a full-time job, 40 hours per week, while doing the university (faculty of law, international relations, so not an easy one). Some people are lucky enough to get financial support from their parents during their studies, but not everyone can afford it. I mean, my family always supported my in every possible ways, and I’m really greatful for that, but when I choosed to have my own life I couldn’t leech off of them anymore. Even with working fulltime, I would probably never have the money for studies abroad. I had to get good grades, to get this scolarship, and then I had to buy my own plane ticket, but everything else (university, accomodation) the japanese government paid for me, plus I got some money for living expenses.  I encourage everyone to look actively for the opportunities. Scolarships on the webpage of the local japanese embassy, or on this page: http://www.g-studyinjapan.jasso.go.jp/en/

Also, some more useful pages:

https://gogonihon.com/en/universities/

https://www.gooverseas.com/study-abroad

https://www.justlanded.com/english/Japan/Japan-Guide

https://gaijinpot.com

A spec. school in Japan for foreign students, no japanese knowledge needed: http://www.jpschool.ac.jp/english/faq/faq01#q1

A page for intership programs in Asia: 

https://www.kopra.org/?site_id=9

I really hope I could help, please feel free to contact me if you have any question, I’m honestly happy to help. :) Go!! Fight!! Step out of your freakin’ comfort zone!! 

Love and blessing:

Kat

[meguriaerunara]

For the previous blog entry: This is me, when I departed, and when I arrived to the hotel in Narita. Haha. I look like I just ran a marathon on the second one, anxiety took me for a wild ride. :) 

I’ll post these again when I’m approaching to the end of my one year story, to compare them with those ones I took when I was close to the date of moving home... 

[meguriaerunara]

Random: sunset from the window of my dormitory room. Probably I just feel this because I grew up on a countryside without any mountains, but even sunsets are much more beautiful in Japan, than anywhere else in the world. 

[meguriaerunara]

Japan, the first days. There were 7 of us from Hungary, with the same scholarship. I don’t want to tell about it very much in details, how did I apply for it and how did I win it, I just want to concantrate on the experience... so, I arrived one day earlier than the others. I had do transfer alone in Dusseldorf, I arrived to Narita on the 11th of September (2016), if I remember correctly. To be honest, I was scared, I was alone and I cried a lot, and I wasn’t sure if I made the right choice. I only knew that if I would have missed this chance, I would feel even more terrible. And that I am in the country of my dreams... but sometimes when you dream comes true, you realise you aren’t even sure if it’s your dream. I was anxious in my entire life and I felt like I totally forgot the language, and this is a way too big challange to take. I was dreaming about going home for the first few weeks. But then, something happened, and I started to just enjoy my time there. I realised that I’m not the only one, all the foreign students are feeling a little bit lost in the first weeks. 

Me, the other foreign students and japanese students on the second week. :) Although I was alone most of my time, I enjoyed it. I stopped worrying about I should be more sociable, since I never was the type. I had a single room, which was such a blessing. Some of the others were always complaining that they want more social events, but I realised very soon that japanese people are very ambivalent: they are really nice, polite and willing to help in every situation if you ask them, but also they are pretty distant (well, at least with foreigners, for sure). I think I like them very much because I am similar. I am acting kindly with other people, yet I’m introverted and I need a lot alone-time.  But the most important thing I had to learn during this first weeks, that good things will only happen to me if I dare to go alone to places, because even for an introvert, it’s scary and hard to do it in a totally new and foreign country. 1,5 months had to pass until I went somewhere alone. Until that, fortunately the school organised us trips sometimes, or we organised karaoke nights and stuff for ourselves. :) Even though I’m an introvert, I tried to take every opportunity to go out when I got invited to this events, since I’m in Japan and I have to enjoy this one year at its fullest, and it was a lot of stepping out of my comfort zone.  I know it looks like all I do is talking about myself, insted of talking about Japan, which you might expect me to do, but with all this I want to convice those who might could have opportunities to change their lifes and make their dream come true but they are too anxious to do it, that it wasn’t easy for me either. But I did it, and it turned to be the best experience in my life so far.

Proof, that I can be sociable if I want to. :))) Also, I can’t really force myself to enjoy things, but every experience remained as a good memory in my mind, and I literally never regretted to go anywhere in Japan. Next time, maybe I’ll be in the mood of writing about more concrete things. :)

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Shot Through By Moonlight (Left) | Takato Yamamoto

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You need a private talk? Just send me an ask!:)

[meguriaerunara]

Welcome

Hey, folks. My name is Kat, and this is my personal blog. I’ll write blog entrys, pretty unorganised, and in very random timeshifts, about my one year I spent in Japan. And not just about that. I’m currently trying to recover from probably the first real crisis of my life. When I was a teenager, of course I had slight “emo” phases and lots of problems like everybody else, but I always had a positive, optimistic personality. I don’t exactly understand why and how did this change, but now I’m struggling with depression, and since it caused several physichal symptoms already, I can’t deny it. So how comes, that I spent 1 wonderful year in the country of my dreams, and now, a few months later I’m going through the hardest period of my life so far? Good question. So, first of all, this blog is for:

- The wonderful memories. The memories keeping me alive, day by day. I want to share them, and also I would like to have something later, when I’m feeling better, when I’m over this, to remind myself.

- To get to know myself. To understand my own feelings. And maybe, when I’m unable to explain them to the people around me, people who want to help but don’t know how, I can call this blog for help later.

- If on the way I happen to help someone, not only myself, I would be really happy about it. Not like I expect much from myself, but who knows. :)

The next entry will be about how all this started...