L A N I

ALL MY COOL SHIT scroll through to see me deal with ma bRaIn

[mehdiari]

rightyo

so basically I haven’t been on this page for a while, and m aware no one will see this but fuck it whatever. Anyway so I haven’t been on this page for a while cause I’ve started to feel a hell of a lot better. Don’t want to die anymore and am over a month clean which is coolio. So yeah just a little life update in case future me ever re-visits this page same as i’m doing right now. In short it does get better I guess.

[shot-gun-shells]

Having Depression for years is so wild because you just kinda become?? Desensitized to your own suffering?? Like yeah I want to kill myself every day. Oh, oh yeah normal people don’t have that????? Oh shit I forgot

[mehdiari]

I’m Sad

anyone know how to feel things cause that would be  c o  o   l

i want to die

[mehdiari]

Z E R O D A Y S

[mehdiari]

[nasagal]

(not so) Breaking News: I’m sad again and everyone’s tired of hearing about it

[mehdiari]

This just in: I still hate myself.

[mehdiari]

Please someone kill me

Like I honest to god I don’t want to do this anymore.

Please

Please

Please

Please

Please

Please

[mehdiari]

I’m l o s t

[depressiontakesitover]

[alicevil]

[poetryatmost]

Healing is important, but sometimes we don’t let ourselves heal. Sometimes we love someone so much that when they leave, we let the hole they left behind stay empty, in case they ever decide to come back again.

Poetry At Most

[mehdiari]

Constantly

[mehdiari]

3am

Ok so its very late at night. I’m very drunk and very sad. Tonight I saw the person who made me feel like this. It’s just brought back everything feeling and thought of why I’m not good enough. Just seeing him felt like a smack in the face, I know he’s found someone better. Times like these make me wonder why I carry on when I don’t mean anything to anyone and probably never will. My head is loud tonight.

[mehdiari]

Sadsadsadsadsadsadsadsadsadsadsadsad

-late at night

[mehdiari]

“Im drunk my head hurts and I want to die”

-intoxicated

[mehdiari]

“Living is for pretty people”

-my thoughts when I realise I’m never quite enough.

[mehdiari]

Fuckkkck

wowie 0 days cleanagainnnn, people just love to hurt me

[4am-reflections]

TO THE GIRL WHO LOVES HIM NEXT

he will seem perfect in the beginning. he will say all the right things, bring you flowers when you least expect it. he will do everything you’ve only ever dreamt about. but it won’t last. he will change on a dime, leaving you to wonder what you did to ruin everything. i’m telling you now, you did nothing. he was destined to destroy you from the start.

he will tell you he loves you and when he does your heart will feel more full than it ever has. there will be days when he makes you feel so loved that you will ignore all the times he hurts you. don’t. when he starts cancelling plans last minute, leave. when he stops telling you that you’re beautiful, leave. when you ignores you for hours on end, leave. save your heart. you deserve more.

this man is going to come into your life and change it in ways i can’t even describe. he will hold you while you cry, then spend other days ignoring that he’s the reason for the tears. he will say he loves you, but never show it. i know how good he may seem but please, when you fall in love with him be smarter than i was and get out before he tears your life into pieces.

to the girl who loves him next. don’t.

4am