MeHeandThree

Mum to three kids of which each at different stages of childhood which is a challenge in itself. I run a business with my husband. Juggling life ,juggling motherhood, juggling duties of being a wife and all in all searching for that purpose in life.

[meheandthree]

Time to come back, time to write, time to share.

Time? Time has so many different meanings to society. For professionals there is never enough time in the day for meetings, deadlines and gaining success. For those who have to much time on their hands filling it becomes a burden. For us mums time becomes an obsession. My last post was months ago. I question why. I revert to the age of words of blame…. I haven’t had the time. Tomorrow is another day.

[meheandthree]

My gang's adventures today took us to a part of our local beach we have never been. It was just like finding the treasure.

[meheandthree]

East Lothian

East Lothian is buzzing with excitement today with the Queens Baton making its way through in preparation for the Commonwealth Games. The kids are getting out of school early and will be ready and waiting with their flags. Added bonus the sun is shining.

[staff]

Bad news. A major vulnerability, known as “Heartbleed,” has been disclosed for the technology that powers encryption across the majority of the internet. That includes Tumblr.

We have no evidence of any breach and, like most networks, our team took immediate action to fix the issue.

But this...

[deathology]

reblog if you want anonymous opinions of you

[meheandthree]

Mother Nurse

Well recently in my life it has all been about illness. I will start by saying this is not me complaining as these illnesses are minor compared to others this is just a photoshot of my mother nurse abilities. My household thankfully got past all the winter bugs and colds just in time for my oldest going into hospital to have her tonsils and adenoids out last Thursday. In the run up to the operation I had to make sure we were all well. I became obsessed with making the house clean, the antibacterial hand gel was in constant use. The freezer was filled with pre made homemade soup, ice cream (of the best make), ice lollies by the drawer full. Medicine cupboard was fully stocked with pain relief. Thursday arrived and we were all set. Watching your child go under general anaesthetic is tough by no means. My feeling as I left the room was lack of control. She is my girl and I had to step back and let the doctors do their job. For that moment and the hour she was away from us my mothering duties had been paused. It is the strangest feeling any parent can feel. The play button was pressed and we were back by her side as she woke. My mother nurse skills were back. I was at her beck and call. Every day she has been getting better and in a strange way I am becoming more exhausted. I keep going and maybe just add an extra coffee into my day. The lovely thing is the mother nurse does not just stop at me. My mum is taking over today. Brining reserves and the strange thing is I think she feels she needs to do her bit. Luckily I still have my mum around. Grandma nurse at the rescue today.

[meheandthree]

Time Spent

What is the right amount of one to one time we should spend with our children? This is always a debate amongst many. In years gone by there was the saying Children should be seen and not heard. As I child I have very little memory of my parents sitting down and playing with me. There were lots of days out as a family and we were taken to many historical places. There was the odd game of Monopoly but never do I have any memories of painting, playdoh or pretending to play shops with a Cardboard box. We were outside more than inside and hide and seek was the game of choice with other kids in the street. Nowadays there is constant pressure to spend time with our little ones. To teach them interactive play. To be the pirate in the pretend game of Peter Pan. To bake, get the art stuff out and read story after story. All of this I have done and don't get me wrong have enjoyed but when it becomes linked to guilt when I am not in the same room as my boy and occupied with another task then were do we draw the line. I am very much of the opinion I spend to much time with my kids. They are very much dependant on me and expect to much. I never saw my parents as people who on calling on them would jump. If I wanted something I understood that I had to wait until they were ready. My children shout and are definitely of the opinion I should come running. This is 100% my doing but I also feel it is been drummed into me by tv program's on child physiology like Supernanny or newspaper and magazine articles that say children feel unloved if we do not give them out full attention. I am trying to teach my son that he can happily play with his train set without me. To try and put a jigsaw puzzle together without my help. Whist I do housework or take time to work on the computer. He is at nursery now and he will learn so much more. Guilt is a dreadful pressure on a mother. Perfect parenting is not possible if we go by what we see and read. The most important thing to me is happy kids and that is one thing I have. Do I sometimes think i spoil them, yes I do. Why do I do that? Because I want them to be happy. Will my kids stop asking at weekends, what are we doing today? Probably not until they are in their late teens. Will I ever feel i spend enough time with them, I do not think that will ever go away. Some times there is just vicious circles being a parent.

[meheandthree]

Cheesecake

My baking skills have never been that of an expert. In fact a novice would be more appropriate. I have no excuse really I grew up with a Chef as a father and a mother who could whip up a cake in a flash. Do not get me wrong it is not for want of trying. Meals I can do, follow a recipe no problem but every time I attempt a tray of cupcakes I use ever reason there could possible be for them being, to dry, flat, over done. My kids are great. They are more than happy for me to use my time to bake them cakes and often like to help out but no the word delicious never spring to mind. I dread those notes that come home asking for donations for school fetes or an end of term party. I have even reverted to shop bought cakes to avoid the shame. But Cheesecake, now there my skills excel. From your basic Lemon ones to white chocolate and Raspberry. The family all love my Rocky Road Cheesecake so much so that once it’s gone you can see the disappointment on their faces. Surprisingly enough I find making Cheesecake therapeutic. It is a comfort to know I can make something sweet and that looks yummy just like the amazing cupcakes many of my friends can make. The problem I have is Cheesecake is not the favoured option for the kids to take along to school for donation to the Class fundraiser or under 10’s don’t tend to dive over each other at birthday parties to grab a slice. Maybe the Cupcake faze will dwindle out and I can be ingeniously bring Cheesecake into the coffee culture!

[inspirationxlifestyle-deactivat]

Reblog if you wouldn't mind getting some anons.

[meheandthree]

Changes of the Seasons

For the last 8 days my daily routine has been a wash with changing sheets, wiping surfaces down, disinfecting everything in sight and playing nurse maid. All five of us have been struck down with the winter vomiting virus. It took hold of my youngest first who is at an age, not to go into to much detail, to control any of the tell tale signs the pains he is experiencing in his little tum are about to present itself! It then progressed to middle child and finally onto oldest child and myself. Who, she and I would have been better with a revolving door in the bathroom. With husband being away during the week, which for some vindictive reason these illness always happen during the week. I managed to do my nurse nightingale and ignore the fact all I wanted to do was retreat to a darkened room. My washing machine has already handed in its resignation and the DVD player has asked for a holiday. The four metre cordon was placed around the house and family were warned to stay away. As always the kids bounce back like a giant bouncy hopper but me well I have vision of being whisked away to a spa or a hotel with the biggest softest bed so I can sleep for days without being disturbed but the chances of that happening are as realistic as me winning the lottery. With all this I look at the calendar and check the date and wish for the change of the season. Bring on Spring, bring on the warmer weather with lighter mornings and evenings that no longer have to blast the heating up and want to make soup. Of course Spring brings it's own time scheduled bugs and virus but my lot have all had chicken Pox so I can rule that one out. I guess the common cold will be the only one I should be ready for a fight with. Antibacterial spray on guard.

[meheandthree]

Strengths

We are not born with our strengths. It is not given to us wrapped up as a gift. Out strengths grow from experiences and knowledge and sometimes learning from others. Reaching my 40's I finally feel I have the strength to tackle most day to day issues, family life and to deal with others. We try to teach our kids what we were taught and any new lessons that comes with the changes in current lifestyles. In my teens and twenties I would have a knot in my stomach if I had to speak to a stranger on the phone. In my first job I had a boss who bullied me and instead of standing up for myself because I had been taught to respect my elders I took the daily abuse. Eventually I hide from the shame and applied for a department transfer. In my in my late twenties I had my first child and would stand back and would wait for other mothers to approach me when taking my girl to mother and baby groups. In my thirties I could never say no, other mother would ask if I would look after their child, not that this is unheard of but when it became a regular occurrence I would want to say I am exhausted with having a toddler and a new born and I could not cope with looking after another toddler whilst the mum would get their hair done. I am as I say 40 this years and it is like a switch has been pressed and now when I look back if I had to deal with any of these situations the outcome would be so so different. It is like being a super hero with a new power. I have the strength to stand up at school meetings and disagree when topics close to my heart are raised. I have the strength to deal with the customer service representatives on the telephone that are reading from a script and do not know how to deal with human beings. I have the strength to know I could go it on my own if ever the situation arose, although I have to say my husband and I are strong but it is not that the thought has not crossed my mind. Strengths should be treasured and reward yourself when you know you have been strong and say I can do that again if necessary. With all this I have to say there is one strength I still need to gain. The one that is to tell my in laws that they do not spend enough time with their grandchildren and favour their others over my children. Maybe that one I will gain in my 50's.

[meheandthree]

Packaging

I don't know about anyone else but on a day to day basis I have a battle with some kind of packaging or other.  I am sure the manufacturers sit in a room and create them like puzzles with great delight on their faces.

Well from a mum, it is time consuming, frustrating and can be at times dangerous for those attempting to remove or open.

Take today for example... packaging item No 1. On making my daughters packed lunch for school I had did not have a container which was not in the freezer or being used as a home for small toys by the kids. I had to revert to the cling film, I had a fight with the cling film and the cling film won. The serrated edge makes absolutely no difference or is any help because after using for the first time after opening the edge is all over the place and stuck to itself.  Could I find the edge to pull, no. After several minutes with great skill the edge was found by which time I was ready to take my frustration out on it and so pulled it fast and hey presto I managed to pull of the smallest piece not even able to cover anything other than the end of my finger. And so the process starts again. By the time I have finished the packed lunch I could feel my stress levels have risen several notches.  Then onto the spread for the toast. The plastic lid is on and sealed so tight in my hurry I use my teeth to open by which I then give myself a paper like cut at the corner of my mouth. Wonderful, packing No 2 has also won. 

No 3, I do not believe there is a person out there that has not experienced the frustration I am about to describe.  I sit back whilst writing this and say to myself how many times have I done this and logic does not kick in, why oh why do I not reach for the scissors right away and save myself the anger and frustration this causes. To save all the thoughts of disbelief that they are sealed this way and who on earth decided that it was a good idea.  The cellophane wrappers on a new DVD case!  I can never find the edge to be able to start the unwrapping process. I stand with it in my hand determined to get it off by finding that corner and using my nails to peal it back.  Will I be defeated no, do I say to myself go and get the scissors no. I stand there like a fool scrapping and scrapping to get it off. I then relent by grabbing my car keys and jabbing them in the side opening of the case to break the seal.  My stress levels by now have rocketed and the kids are looking at me in total shock as mum has once again had another fight with packaging.

Don't get me started on the packing for Toys nowadays that needs a course in DIY skills to remove.

[meheandthree]

My little bundle is 10 years old

  Ten years ago I gave birth to my second girl.  Her entry into the world was fast and furious. Her little face all squished with all the hurry. She looked so different from her older sister. She was fair with the most gorgeous blue eyes.  The years have flown by and not without all the woes that go with having a character like her.  She is full of smiles, filled with thoughts and loves to learn. A little accident prone with it to which has been a challenge on occasions as not your usual accidents, like a broken arm or a graze. No my girls likes to keep things on the edge, Broken Elbow, broken heel bone, broken tail bone and more recent which has managed to get itself into dental teaching magazines she managed to knock her front adult tooth so hard it pushed up into her nose. Apologise if you are squeamish.  We said from the beginning she was different, we also said she was like no other.  Her questions would and still do baffle us and more often than not make us smile.  My favourite would be when she was 3," do you think Santa has a dog" this was made even more enlightening with the fact it was the Easter Break, Christmas had been and gone months before.

She is the most loving and caring child and there is not a week that goes by that she does not tell us she has sit with someone who has looked sad at school, or played with the child that has few friends.  She does not like sadness.  Recently we have had results to confirm she is Dyslexic which I do say answers some of her characteristics.  They say Dyslexics think out of the box. Both myself and my younger sister are also Dyslexic.  My husband and I have been amazed at her skill to be able to hide the fact she has struggled with aspects at school to her teachers.  Very clever I would say.  Experts in educations being fooled by a 10 year old. She is receiving some help, not as much as we would like but that I am battling with the school at the moment.  I have no concerns about her using this as a label to get her through her education. If anything she will keep it to herself if she can.  What she is going to do or be I have no idea at the moment but I do know one thing she will choose something that makes her happy, something she gets out of bed everyday and want to do.

We are celebrating her birthday in true family tradition. Pizza dinner and cinema. She loves the simple things and she has no desire for expensive technology. Her favourite gifts from us have been, a light up Yoyo, French Skipping Rope and a set of Animal Erasers.  I thought long and hard as to what to give her. As I say I could not just go to the local Shopping Retail Park and pick up the in Toys or clothes. Instead we have gone for something that again will fill her with delight and a memory I know she will treasure. Next weekend she will be a Zoo Keeper for the day. Help to feed the animals and even clean out enclosures. This to her will just be amazing and I know her smile will be huge all day long.

Ten years has certainly flown by. I look forward to what the next 10 years with my girl brings, although I am sure we will have some ups and downs in her teenage years that I know I can not avoid.  For the moment I just love to see her smiling.

[meheandthree]

Checklist, To Do Lists & Daily Tasks

Why is the first thing I think of when I open my eyes is a mental to do list for the day. I would love to open my eyes and think of sunshine, the smell of morning coffee but no my brain wants to put me instantly into work mode of chores, checklist, to do lists and tasks.

I suffer from Chronic Migraines were for 24 hours a day my head aches. This is been for the last 10 years and after finally finding a neurologist who is understanding I am being told I am unable to switch off, relax, take time out for myself.  I have trained myself to constantly be under pressure.  I do not blame having three children but certainly my list of to do's have increased with having them.  Technology does not help my plight. What with emails, smartphones and taking my Ipad everywhere I go.  We are always contactable now.  In fact my phone died recently whilst I was at an appointment with my daughter and it felt I had lost a limb.  I reverted to using a payphone which my daughter thought was completely alien.  My neurologist suggested having a day a week were I switch my phone off. This filled me with dread, I even told him it was impossible for me to do this.

Take today for example, I have jumped out of bed and managed to make Packed Lunches for the girls, two loads of washing completed before 8.30 am. Folded and put away one large pile of clean clothes, mopped the kitchen floor.  Then onto work, I have ran this weeks payroll, sent several emails and raised todays Invoices. Checked in with my husband confirming this mornings work tasks are complete and checked if he had any to add.  Then onto todays to do list, contact hospital to find out if a date has been set for my eldest Tonsil surgery as we are approaching the 12 week date within an appointment should be set by the hospital. Paid the milk bill. All this before 11 am.  I will go onto to play for an hour or so with my 3 year old with his cars and after lunch back to my lists.  With me mentally ticking them of in my head

This goes on day in day out and without it I feel guilty, guilty if I do nothing, guilty of wasting time.  I look forward to the warmer days when I add going to the play park each day with the kids to my list.  I am not sure if I could function without these tasks.  I have even tried running as the say you can switch off. No not me.  Having coffee with friends is a to do. (a nice one though).

Will this always be, will I always continue through life with this constant ethic of tick tick tick of the list. Maybe a holiday to a deserted Island would be the solution.  I will add that to my list of what to ask for, for my next birthday!

[meheandthree]

Gender Choice

Having had two girls I have revealed in the pink and all things fluffy times.   From the moment I had my first girl I had a wardrobe full of pink outfits and accessorising shoes.  It then progressed into the choice of toys we would buy. Dolls, tea sets and even a hoover. My second girl again was flooded with girl/pink stereotype items.  With the pink gingham bedcovers and curtains to match.  My husband would sit on Christmas day and put up with the hours of assembling of Barbie Houses, Polly Pockets and Pink Dressing Tables.  Every dress up outfit was either a Disney Princess or a fairy. Even the Halloween costumes were feminine.  Was this my doing or is it built in?

Child No 3 came along and on finding out at 20 weeks we were expecting a boy once again the brain kicks in to that colour obsession. Blue outfits, blue nursery, even a blue pram. He arrives and he could not look more like a boy. There was no mistaking him. At no point would I have taken him out for anyone to say, Boy or Girl?  From early toddler years he became curious of cars which I can now say at the age of 3 has turned into a love of cars or anything with wheels.  He distinctly knew to pick up a book that had a plane or a truck on it.  Again was this me or did he just know inside the difference between masculine or feminine.

I still have a house full or girl things and he , 99% of the time will be playing with his cars or lego but on the odd occasion he will find something that belongs to his sisters and asks to play with it.  I have no reservation of letting him take out the box of Bratz.  Today for example he has spent the whole day playing with them but to indulge his boy imagination he also wanted the Bratz bus. I genuinely believe from the moment he arrived he knew he was a boy and if I had only dressed him in every colour other than blue he would still have wanted to wear swim trunks just like his dad rather than a costume like his mum and sisters.

When he asks again to play with his sisters things or sits and watches Princess Sofia with a smile on his face. I will just delight in the fact I have a happy contented child.

[meheandthree]

Food,Food,Food

There is never a day that goes by without me thinking about my diet, dieting, the food I consume or worse the food I want to consume. I recently started the 5/2 diet which I have to say has been the first diet that has actually worked for me. With it I have managed to lose 20lbs. Child no 3 baby weight. I reached my goal weight. I now have BMI that I no longer have to lie to myself about. Having managed this and feel like a different woman, wearing clothes I have not worn in many years I have the thoughts of losing more. Another 7lbs I say. Then I will be happy. Why does my brain work like this. Why do I feel the need to push myself further. I have a husband who has always loved me and even when I complained about how I looked. Why does my brain see a different image than the one I should see now. I then question my thoughts on happiness. Was it really the weight causing my lows or is it the way food becomes a constant issue. I love to cook, I make hearty meals for my family but I just can never shift the guilt when I eat the pudding after Sunday dinner. If only there was a switch that could be pressed to say go for it, eat what you enjoy. When and I will, lose the next 7lbs then will I stop. Then will I feel I no longer have to lose more. I think there has to be something woman's minds have to subconsciously think about. If it is not food I am sure it is, exercise or being the perfect parent or even work. I think there is a corner of the brain without a turn of switch. Maybe I could buy one on EBay ?

[meheandthree]

All work and a little bit of play.

First day of school mid term break. Got of to a great start with all three kids sleeping in until 8 am. With no 3 child managing to stay in his own bed all night which is a rare occurrence. What was not great is that today is one of my working days at home. Working from home comes with its advantages when the kids are at school as I am here for when they get home and a phone call away for any unscheduled sick moments. Holidays however becomes a juggling act. Today all three played ball, entertained themselves including use of technology. Yes I am a bad mum and it is the ultimate sin to let kids be entertained by iPads and games consoles. With that I managed to get all my Monday work completed in record time, stopping to feed the kids in-between . I would not neglect them that way. Feeling pleased with myself and proud of the kids I was just a text away from organising a reward of a coffee with a friend and her boys. The local coffee place it was. A coffee and a chat and five kids smiling and laughing started my week in a great mood. Will the rest of the week go as well? Lets hope so. All work and a little play keeps the tough days at bay.