Feather and Flame

Burning flight of a rough-legged hawk therian with some phoenix leanings.

[floydllawtonarchive]

dragons don’t ever really leave their princesses (and their princesses never really want them to go)

[ultrafacts]

Pando, also known as The Trembling Giant, is a clonal colony of a single quaking aspen (Populus tremuloides) determined to be a single living organism by identical genetic markers and assumed to have one massive underground root system. The plant is estimated to weigh collectively 6,000,000 kg (6,600 short tons). The root system of Pando, at an estimated 80,000 years old, is among the oldest known living organisms. Pando is located 1 mile southwest of Fish Lake on Utah’s Route 25, in the Fremont River Ranger District of the Fishlake National Forest, at the western edge of the Colorado Plateau in South-Central Utah,

(Fact Source/Read more about it HERE)

Follow Ultrafacts for more facts

[meirya]

Aspens are the coolest. <3

[karakulak]

Anyone have advice to PREVENT shifts? This is not me, this is for a friend, but I haven’t found any advice anywhere on actually stopping a shift from happening.

[genuineferalswagger-deactivated]

It seems like the best thing to do is to trigger them in a safe space when you can. There are some times when I’m going to school and I feel really shifty and I think to myself, ‘this could be one of those times that’s really frustrating because I want to meow/howl/run around/climb stuff/etc., and I can’t for the whole day.’ If you can catch it early enough, you can get to a private place and trigger it with something, like music, pet toys, videos of your theriotype (or their prey, very fun), or something else that usually works.

Of course, that’s kind of a last-minute thing… if you’re doing it long-term, you really want to work something out where you’re taking care of it on a routine basis. I don’t shift as much anymore since I’ve been with my boyfriend, because he just lets me be as animalistic as I need to be around him, so in that case, the energy doesn’t get bundled up into those big shifts… it trickles out bit by bit. But if you’re not in that situation and you are still having the big shifts, then you want to make sure that, depending on the severity and frequency, you set up a routine of triggering the shifts in your safe area. Could be every day, or every few days… honestly, if you just had one big event every weekend, that’s enough. I used to do it that way and didn’t experience any problems. Of course, that was before I ‘awoke’… so, basically, just figure out what works best. Anyway, sorry if this is really long and rambly. Just trying to be as helpful as I can!

[meirya]

The above is pretty decent advice; I've found shifts are much easier to control when you make time to "be more animal" in safe spaces on a regular basis. This is true for anything that you normally suppress or want to suppress/control. If an aspect of you is denied and suppressed, it will still manifest but you'll have less conscious control of it because it'll be buried in your subconscious/unconscious (this is the basic idea behind the Jungian shadow). Allow time and space for safe expression and it'll be less likely to interfere in your daily life.

Here is an essay on how I manage balance. The most immediately relevant bit (my approach to controlling shifts in the short-term) is this:

I found some effective short-term tricks for controlling my shifting. The main one is shifting towards “human”. If birdness becomes sharply prominent in an environment where I can’t afford to indulge it, like at work, I focus on words, sentences, speaking; I focus on fingers, manual dexterity, things impossible with wings or claws; I focus on where my physical skin begins and ends, reminding myself that I am here and now and human. I imagine pulling my feathers in, pushing bird-mind down beneath the surface.

Some additional suggestions can be found in this article on Project Shift by RagdollTherian. The entire piece is relevant and has a lot of really good points and ideas.

[otherkin-news]

Therianthropy Research Group survey

[meirya]

"The Therianthropy Research Group are pleased to announce our first research study is ready to go! We are conducting a quantitative questionnaire on therian mental well-being. […] Whether you are a therian or a non-therian we would welcome your participation in this study." For more information, please see …

[itzocelotl-blog]

Mental Health and Otherkin

Let’s clear up a few misconceptions about crisis counselors, psychiatrists and psychologists.

Sure there are some who are closed minded jerks, but the law prevents them from committing anyone to involuntary confinement unless they present an immediate threat to themselves or others.  If you bluntly tell them that you are suicidal or planning to kill someone else, they can and will commit you because that is the law.  If you tell them that you wish you would just disappear or that you hate your ex boyfriend and wish a truck would smash them, they might be suspicious and recommend therapy or medication strongly. 

The difference between sanity and insanity, functional or dysfunctional may seem murky, but here is how a woman with a PhD in psychology who worked for the National Institute of Mental health explained it (paraphrased) when I told her I had dreams that came true and saw ghosts.

"Do you expect others to see ghosts?  You are aware that culturally you are expected not to mention it to strangers in casual conversation, but that in other cultures it is acceptable to do so, right?  Then you are sane, whatever your spiritual beliefs and mystical experiences are.  If you told me that there was a giant pink teddybear on the ceiling of your house ordering you to hurt me and expected me to see and interact with it too, then you would be dangerously insane by the legal definition."

After we talked for a while and she was supportive, fascinated and open minded, I dropped the Otherkin bomb.  It was a huge risk and I knew it, but the study I was doing at NIMH on depression in families had always given me great experiences.  So I said it.  She asked for a definition and clarification of Otherkin and I gave it.  She was fascinated, commenting that it seemed that a new subcultural spirituality was evolving under her nose.  She wished that she had government funding to interview Otherkin and start a research program to measure WILLING and volunteering Otherkin for mental and physical differences.  She mourned when I told her that so many Otherkin feared mental health professionals, and said that those Otherkin who did seek therapy should seek those who worked with alternative lifestyles and open belief systems.  She remarked how very alone Otherkin must feel as well.

Sure, some of you will say, she was the exception and not the rule.  However a whole school of therapy and psychology exists that believes in helping people understand themselves via reflection and not behavior change.  This is the Humanistic therapy model and that and the Jungian therapists are most likely to be open minded towards us.

With this in mind, also remember that a lot of Otherkin have mental health issues.  I have fought depression for years till I found the right combo of therapy and medicine that worked.  Once I did, I functioned.  I still have frustrating days like anyone else, of course, but that’s life.  What is gone and good riddance is that terrible bleakness of depression and the sadistic urge to make others around me share my misery by being cruel to them and dragging them down.  I have a decent life and accept that therapy and medication are part of maintaining that.

I suspect that for some people out there, they feel that being or suspecting they are mentally ill  makes them “Special" due to suffering more than others or having a unique perspective.  Maybe they fear that their Otherkin nature will be cured by therapy and that they will no longer be special.  That’s a load of crap.  My art has gotten better since I went into treatment due to a positive attitude, better concentration, optimism and the ability to look at my work and see and know its worth.  If you are Otherkin it is in your soul, not your serotonin and other neurochemicals.  Suffering does not make you any better than other people, even if you enter into it for spiritual or political reasons.  It just makes your approach different but the approaches of others are still valuable and legitimate.  Mental health interventions should make you more of who you are, not less.

As a patient you have the right to terminate a relationship with any doctor at any time unless you are a danger to yourself and others.  Even the schitzophrenic patients we see at my doctor’s office still have freedoms.  We have a guy who wears jewelry made of copper, plastic and duct tape, sees choirs of angels in his living room, talks to God in public, pees in his sink for fear that the Martians who control the Russian Mafia have placed electrodes in his toilet to corrode his brain through his penis and never bathes.  He lives in assisted care but is not dangerous so he can come and go at will.  He walks to our office, smells terrible and keeps the appointments necessary to his health.  At any time he could fire my doctor as long as he found another one and took care of his health issues.

We all have so much more freedom and in most cases so many less issues than this guy.  In most places, there are public mental health clinics, support groups and schools for psychiatry with sliding scale fees.  I encourage any Otherkin who suspect that they might have a mental health issue to look into and utilize all the resources at our disposal to improve the public image of Otherkin.

[meirya]

Thank you. The stigma against therapists and therapy frustrates me to no end because I worry it keeps people from seeking professional help as a result, when there are people out there who won't judge you, and when you're not going to get "locked up". (It actually takes a lot to commit an adult against their will, at least in the US. Speaking from experience working in the mental health field and having seen it happen. It is not simple and you have to be seriously an immediate danger to yourself and/or others first.)

Also:

However a whole school of therapy and psychology exists that believes in helping people understand themselves via reflection and not behavior change.  This is the Humanistic therapy model and that and the Jungian therapists are most likely to be open minded towards us.

I would add Transpersonal therapists to that list of modalities to look for.

[liminalbeast]

Anyway, nutshell: you scent out small (or large) “odd" behaviors in yourself. You trace them all the way back to childhood. Yes, pretty much all therians can do this. You compare this to the behavior of various animals. Then you listen to your gut and only your gut for the final say. This is more or less how to settle the question of whether you’re a therian. Perhaps more important, though, is why you’re wondering if you’re a therian. Always felt a bit different? Love animals? Feel a strong connection to a particular animal species? Feel like going wild sometimes? Wish you could be something else? Well, whoopie. That doesn’t make you anything but human. About 80% of all adolescent girls could answer all that affirmatively. Doesn’t mean a thing. (Unless you said no… Then it means you should most certainly find another tree to bark at.)

From "Am I a Therian?" by Ozen (via liminalbeast)

[liminalbeast]

As therianthropy is basically a mode of being, it makes itself evident on a visceral as much as a mental level. I endeavor to be aware of its totality, when I can. The connections I make about therianthropy these days aren’t between legends, stories, ecology, biology, beliefs and basic (mangled) neurology. They’re between my body, my choices, my life experiences. My beliefs I try to keep in check, since I’ve seen how mutable they are; my ideas I breathe on to keep them soft, malleable - and mashable. I recognize that beliefs affect ideas, that ideas affect how experiences are received, and that there’s no way around this. But I try not to let beliefs rob the focus away from gut sensations.

From "Theories, anyone?" by Ozen (via liminalbeast)

[astronomy-to-zoology]

Historical Ornithology 101

(via Tetrapod Zoology)

[beakandtalon-blog]

I’m reminded by all this discussion in the otherkin tag why so many otherkin/therians (including myself) tend to drop out of the community after the initial awakening and identity-development process.

I’m also seeing why that’s a problem. When there are very few experienced, older ‘kin still active in the online community, then there are fewer grounded, mature types around to help ground the conversations or provide voices of experience.

I know that years ago, the Werelist/TO founder(s) were motivated by observing the influx of new people in the “werecommunity" (as it was called at the time) and wanting to try to influence the tone and culture of the developing community (since all the activity was happening on forums instead of on Usenet where it had been until that point). Or something like that, my history’s a bit fuzzy, but I remember reading a long post on the matter by… either Savage or Coyote.

I had mixed feelings about it at the time. But now, seeing a similar phenomenon happening, I get it. And I wish more of the older crowd was active on Tumblr and had been active there earlier, to balance out the echo chamber phenomenon. And while I find it exhausting and frustrating to do so, I think it’s important for me to do my part by being active on Tumblr’s otherkin/therian community/tag.

(I’m still probably not gonna be as active as most of the other oldbies and questioning sorts. Don’t want to burn out too quick/too much and besides… grad school, life, relationships, friends, hobbies - I’m busy. But still.)

- Meirya

[meirya]

Not sure why I posted that on my rantyface Tumblr instead of here. Possibly because I expected it to be way more ranty than it turned out to be.

Additional thoughts...

It's a tricky balance. We do need new blood, new perspectives, and I think we need to have room for those perspectives to be expressed. When there's a well-established, rigid culture, it takes a long time to introduce anything new or any changes into that culture. Anything deviating from what is acceptable by the culture is rejected, new things aren't given any room to spawn, and there's little to no growth or development.

When the Tumblr 'kin community first really started building steam, when it was more talking about experiences and writing interesting things, before it got full of distorted pseudo-social-justice-but-not-really, I was excited because a lot of the things being discussed were new. New and interesting and not the same old forum topics over and over again.

Then it devolved and got very not-interesting and started looking more like the fluffy forums that I tend to avoid. Which is the other side of things. Too much "old guard, guarding the way things have been" and you get stagnation. Too little, no voices of experience and history,and you get... I'm not even sure what to call it. The complete lack of questioning.

Maybe the natural state is a pendulum, back and forth between poles of closedness and openness. I'm not sure.

[heavysighing]

Otherkin and How it Harms People

[meirya]

More direct responses, rather than a generalized one….

Otherkin can use their identities to bully and manipulate people into staying in contact with them. They may say things such as “I was X in a past life, and you were Y in a past life, so we belong together." They use this to control people. It’s hard to leave someone if you feel obligated to stay because your identities match. 

This is always always always abusive and controlling and utter bullshit. You see this in pagan/occult/new age culture too. The “we’re soulmates because we were together in a past life!" No. No and no and no. If anyone ever says this to you, get the fuck out.

First off, even if they’re correct that you have past life ties, being together in a past life means you have baggage. I have a strict rule that I don’t get romantically involved with people I have baggage of that sort with (speaking as someone who believes in reincarnation and has experienced having past life ties with people). Relationships are messy enough without adding that kind of history into it.

Second… I actually don’t understand the “feeling obligated to stay because your identities match". I mean, I can comprehend it on an intellectual level, if you’re getting swept up in the… supposed romance and excitement of shared history and identity? Having a sense of shared identity and a sense of past-life history can feel really connective and close, so I get it in that sense, but I don’t understand the feeling “obligated" part.

[heavysighing]

I know, I couldn’t believe it when I read and talked to people who acted aggressively towards others because of their identity, or missed school/work because of it. What the hell?

The way you’re describing your experience as otherkin in this post and the other one, sounds way more rational and healthy than what I see on here and a lot of forums. Thank you for the input and sympathy.

The feeling obligated thing seems to happen because of something like this:

A: We went through so much together, if you left, what would I do? How would I deal with all the things in my past life if you weren’t here?

B: *wants to leave, but would feel bad because A seems to need them* I know, I’ll stay. 

If that makes sense? God it’s the worst.

Yeah I believe in reincarnation too, so being with someone that you shared a past life with just seems like it would make things harder, not easier. Besides, I think I’m here for a new life, not to relive my old ones. 

[meirya]

Ahah, oh, ew. That's another version of the "I need you, if you leave I won't be able to deal, it'll hurt so much, I don't know if I will be able to survive, you have to stay" line. Controlling, abusive, and I totally have fallen for my particular example in the past. No one's ever tried the "but we were together in a past life and I need your help with dealing!" line on me, probably because it wouldn't work, but I can see based on your explanation how it might work on others. Thanks, it makes more sense now. 

[heavysighing]

Otherkin and How it Harms People

Otherkin can use their identities to bully and manipulate people into staying in contact with them. They may say things such as “I was X in a past life, and you were Y in a past life, so we belong together." They use this to control people. It’s hard to leave someone if you feel obligated to stay because your identities match.

[yamanaka-shin]

I have never, EVER heard of a Kin using their identity to trap someone in a relationship or even a friendship. That is something not even Otherkin are low enough to fucking do. We know it’s wrong and we do not tolerate that. Why in the shit would any of us do that if we know better? If they wanna fucking move on, we let them.

[meirya]

I'm gonna have to go with heavysighing on this one, actually...

redglarestuck, the way you're phrasing things make it sound like you're talking for the entire community. Otherkin are people like anyone else; the community is formed of kind people and cruel people, people who are overly accepting and people who are overly rejecting, happy people and angry people, people who are grounded and practical and people who are escapist and flighty, people who are hurting and people who hurt others and sometimes those are the same people.

To try to say "no otherkin would do that" and "we know it's wrong" and "we do not tolerate that" is erasing the diversity of people who identify as otherkin. Most people in the community don't like it when people try to paint us all homogeneously as something negative; well, I think it's equally erroneous to try to paint us all homogeneously as something positive.

I have seen otherkin (and pagans, and new agers...) use their identities to try and manipulate someone else into a relationship or into staying in a relationship, and I've heard stories about it from others. (I've seen it more often with fictives and multiples, actually, and heard some really distressing horror stories out of those communities, but it does still happen with otherkin.)

It does happen. Denying it just lets it happen more.

I do believe we need to be aware of the failings of our community, and the pitfalls of it, and I firmly think we need to be talking about this stuff.

[heavysighing]

Otherkin and How it Harms People

[meirya]

More direct responses, rather than a generalized one....

Otherkin can use their identities to bully and manipulate people into staying in contact with them. They may say things such as “I was X in a past life, and you were Y in a past life, so we belong together." They use this to control people. It’s hard to leave someone if you feel obligated to stay because your identities match. 

This is always always always abusive and controlling and utter bullshit. You see this in pagan/occult/new age culture too. The "we're soulmates because we were together in a past life!" No. No and no and no. If anyone ever says this to you, get the fuck out.

First off, even if they're correct that you have past life ties, being together in a past life means you have baggage. I have a strict rule that I don't get romantically involved with people I have baggage of that sort with (speaking as someone who believes in reincarnation and has experienced having past life ties with people). Relationships are messy enough without adding that kind of history into it.

Second... I actually don't understand the "feeling obligated to stay because your identities match". I mean, I can comprehend it on an intellectual level, if you're getting swept up in the... supposed romance and excitement of shared history and identity? Having a sense of shared identity and a sense of past-life history can feel really connective and close, so I get it in that sense, but I don't understand the feeling "obligated" part.

Otherkin also like to “awaken" people to their “true selves", pulling other people into their delusional worlds. I don’t think much more explaining needs to be done on this one.

This is also manipulative and awful, IMHO. I might perceive that someone is not entirely human, I might even have a sense of what I perceive them to be, but I would never tell them. I firmly believe that it is unethical to interfere in someone's identity development process. If someone asks what I think, I might (depending on the person - if they seem to be the sort whose perceptions are easily distorted or influenced, I won't) share, carefully and with a bajillion disclaimers about how it's only my perception and perceptions are fallible, etc.

Most otherkin also experience “dysphoria" and “homesickness" from being kin. Some of them cry over this, or even go to the extreme of self harming because of it. If this isn’t harmful, I have no fucking clue what harmful is.

If someone is experiencing dysphoria or homesickness due to being otherkin,, it is unpleasant and can be painful or distressing.  If someone doesn't identify as otherkin and still experiences dysphoria or a sense of homesickness for they know not what (or a sense of "not belonging here" or "being different" or "not fitting their skin" - which is something plenty of perfectly human adolescents go through and experience distress and loneliness over), it's still unpleasant and painful and distressing.

The experience isn't harmful in and of itself, though. It's a valid experience that needs addressed. If letting go of an otherkin identity makes the experience go away, then maybe that's the best route. I know for plenty of people, though, rejecting/denying/discarding an otherkin identity doesn't make the experiences (and distress, and pain, etc) go away. Either way, it still has to be dealt with, addressed and acknowledged; how it gets framed doesn't really matter (unless the framing provides new ways to deal with it - framing certain of my experiences as "bird" have been very helpful for managing those symptoms/experiences, for example). I don't see how this leads to "otherkin identity = harmful".

It is also used as an escape from everyday life. Sometimes just because everyday life is boring and not special, but sometimes everyday life is painful. Escapism is harmful and problems need to be dealt with if any closure is going to happen.

Agreed. However, I wouldn't say this means otherkin = inherently harmful, either... no more than gaming, or spirituality, or religion, or hell - even running. All of these can be healthy and even very beneficial, but when used as an unhealthy escape, or when taken to extremes or used in certain ways, they can be unhealthy. For instance: fanatic religiosity as disconnection from reality and society, seeking a runner's high and not balancing it with eating enough and running all the time instead of having a social life/etc, gaming as an addiction rather than a pleasant stress-reliever...

I've even seen plenty of unhealthy escapism and severe narcissism-enabling in some U.S. Buddhists (neo-Buddhists? Fluffy Buddhists?) with their practice. Does that mean Buddhism is inherently harmful? Of course not, we've got plenty of scientific data on mindfulness meditation and studies of monks saying quite the opposite. But anything can be taken to extremes, or used in unhealthy ways, and sometimes subcultures (or parts thereof) can be enabling to certain unhealthy tendencies people already have.

It also isolates them from people in society and makes them act differently. Otherkin have bitten people in public before because they couldn’t control their animal side. Isolation is harmful and can make any current problems someone is facing even worse. This can cause problems in relationships, friendships, and even within families. Some kin have reported missing school or other events they need to attend because of issues with their kin type. Some have even said they are unable to work because of it. 

...

This has got to be a Tumblr 'kin thing (which might have spread to some of the fluffier forums because I know that's been happening, ugh). I have never heard of this sort of crap. Well, yes, people going "omg my wolfness is so aggressive I bit someone and couldn't help myself" is basically a stereotype of "dumb things to say/do" so I'm sure that's happened, but I've only heard of it as an eye-rolling anecdote of "what not to do" followed by "your otherkin identity is never an excuse for dysfunctional behavior, you're human here and now, control yourself". 

But the isolation, and missing school/events/work? I've never heard of that before. I believe it, especially with the culture of Tumblr 'kin, but the otherkin/therian culture I have spent the last decade in has always been very much one of "control yourself" and "your otherkin identity is not an excuse for bad behavior" and "wolves aren't ragemonsters anyway, stfu idiot".

[heavysighing]

Something that is often said by ‘kin to defend themselves is that “being otherkin isn’t hurting anybody, so why should I stop/why should you criticize me?"

Well, the truth is it does hurt people.

Otherkin can use their identities to bully and manipulate people into staying in contact with them....

[meirya]

I can very much sympathize with your situation and perspective. I don't agree with your conclusions, mind you; I don't think an otherkin identity is innately harmful, disordered, dysfunctional, unhealthy, or delusional. But I do agree that the community (especially in the echo-chamber enabling form it takes on Tumblr and certain forums) can be downright toxic.

It sounds like you and people you've known have had some really awful experiences in the community, and it also sounds like identifying as otherkin was, for you, more harmful than beneficial. I do think a blog like yours is a worthwhile thing to have, that these are conversations that ought to be happening on Tumblr.

Because over-acceptance can be harmful. Rejecting people when they express skepticism or offer alternatives or ask probing questions is quite harmful for everyone. Yes, there's a balance - grilling people and rejecting people for their identities can be harmful too - but both extremes are unhealthy, in my experience.

I've not had your experiences in the otherkin community, heavysighing, but I started out in the therian community years ago (which tended to err more on the grilling side of things) and was fortunate enough to be a questioning, skeptical sort of person from the beginning. (I've had to learn over the years to relax a bit for my own happiness and well-being, actually.) I can see how Tumblr's rather toxic accept-everything community with its culture of incredibly distorted pseudo-"social justice" would potentially mess someone up.

I would say that certain subcultures, belief systems, etc (otherkin, multiplicity, several varieties of paganism) are very attractive to people with certain categories of mental health issues, and enabling and not-good for those particular kinds of issues. The sort of things I'm thinking about are people with poorly developed ego structures, weak identity structures, poor boundaries (particularly diffuse/weak boundaries), external loci of control, black and white thinking, deep need for acceptance (especially combined with weak identity structures and poor boundaries)... These are traits a lot of younger people (teenagers, early 20's) have as well, as the ego and identity are still forming in adolescence, and a lot of Tumblr 'kin especially are in that category, so I would posit that teens are particularly vulnerable to some of the unhealthier aspects of the community (and more likely to perpetuate those aspects).

I was pretty badly burned in my undergraduate college years due to involvement with a small group of pagan types with some extreme ideas. A few of them were multiple systems (and yes, while I know some awesome, grounded multiple systems, I am skittish and wary of the multiplicity community as a whole, because I've seen some pretty toxic stuff come out of it), a few were otherkin, but it was the magic-and-psychic-abilities stuff that more messed me up. It was rather cult-like, really, and I've since found out that such situations happen more often than anyone talks about (because no one talks about it and it's a problem).

I am fortunate that I had good experiences with other pagan groups that happened cocurrently, so I didn't completely reject anything to do with paganism as a result... but if things had gone a little differently, I could have. I can see how it would happen. There are still certain categories of things, years later, that are triggers for me and that I often reject unthinkingly and reactively. Years later, I still can get triggered to the point of dissociation, stomach trying to claw up my throat, regarding what I refer to as the "year of crazy" (more like two years, but).

Long story short... I believe you that you've experienced hurt and toxicity and harm from your time in the otherkin community. You could be a troll, but the way you talk about things rings true to me, because some of what you say and how you say it mirrors my experience with pockets of the pagan community. I believe that the culture of parts of the otherkin community is indeed toxic and can be downright abusive, particularly to vulnerable individuals. I very much sympathize and I am so, so sorry you went through that and that people treated you that way. It isn't okay, it's not right, and I think stories like yours need to be told. You're braver than I am; I think my own story and ones like it (about issues with the pagan community) need to be told too, but I'm only just getting to the point of sometimes talking about it. It's hard and it opens you up to a lot of crap.

However, I don't believe being otherkin or identifying as otherkin is innately harmful or that it can never be beneficial. I say that as someone midway through their masters in psychology, who's worked in the mental health field for years, who has a bachelors in psychology, and who has had over a decade of therapy for things unrelated to an otherkin identity. Maybe my perspective is unusual, because I'm focused on transpersonal psychology, which advocates that spirituality and myth and symbol are integral parts of health and well-being and actualization (see: Jung, Maslow, Campbell, Assagioli, Grof...).

For me, my otherkin identity is useful for my functionality, it is not harmful, and it is enriching and valuable for me. It isn't a crutch, an escape, or an excuse; I am adamantly in the camp of "your otherkin identity is never an excuse for dysfunctional behavior". I also regularly examine my identity and have been through periods of rejection and doubt. But I also don't experience species dysphoria or homesickness, and never have, so maybe that's part of it not feeling so distressing to me.

[susitar-deactivated20181205]

Since I noticed some people saying how “toxic and dangerous" the therian/otherkin communities are, I would like to represent a list on important stuff I learnt from the therian community (mostly Werelist) when I was a teen:

You cannot blame therianthropy for violent acts, such as...

[lifeandlycanthropy]

Bitches Have Birthdays: Things that the therian community taught me

I'd like to emphasise this. The community taught me a lot of coping methods, and lot of ways of redirecting emotions, that even if I weren't a therian, are incredibly useful.

I have been repeatedly told and seen that 'therianthropy is a reason, not an excuse', and that people in the real world aren't going to care what you identify as.

To quote an old radio interview; 'In the real world it doesn’t matter whether you’re a lion or a wolf or a dragon on the inside, your employer doesn’t care, your landlord doesn’t care and you can’t put it on your resume.' 'You're typing with ten fingers, and you have an internet account. That's the reality. It might be fun to play Dungeons and Dragons, but when it's time to put the dice away you have to know how to cope in the real world, and I don't think it's healthy or productive to spend a lot of your time and energy chasing fantasies, when you could be focusing on making your real, human life better. You are human, live with it.'

And that's been the resounding message throughout my time in the community. Perhaps I've been lucky, perhaps I've escaped the hell holes in which people are deluded and manipulated. Maybe I skipped out on that. But honestly, my experience has been very good.

[meirya]

The parts of me that are feathers and instinct shrinks away from this strange, alien landscape. Sulfur-bleached tree limbs look like bones picked clean. The air stinks of rot - eggs gone sour in the acidic pools. Everything is coated in white. All my instincts, limbic system and hindbrain, screech wary mistrust and unease in this place. It is eerie and beautiful in its desolation, but it takes the cerebral cortex to appreciate it. Occasionally the trail winds up and away from the springs and geysers and I am surrounded by trees. Instantly I relax; the tension eases from my body. My (phantom) feathers are no longer slicked back in huddled misery. That changes, of course, as I round the bend and am engulfed in the sulfur heat of smoke. -This is a bad place,- my limbic system says in clawing shaking unease. My frontal lobe knows it's not - not really, not unnaturally so - bad for hawks and monkeys, of course, with no food and poison-water and toxic air and little-to-no prey. "Bad" say my instincts - unsustainable, unlivable. "Beautiful" says my thinking mind. This, in some ways, is the essence of being otherkin: both/and, human and other, human and animal in tension and balance.

[clinicallycanine-deactivated201]

You know… I really don’t understand people who feel the need to tell other people that they identify as therian/ otherkin… That’s about as important as telling somebody that you keep a purple chair in your closet. No, wait, knowing about a chair would actually be helpful information if you need…

[meirya]

Hmm. I don’t actually agree. I think it’s closer to telling someone your MBTI type. If the person you’re telling is a Meyers-Briggs/Jung geek and thinks in terms of MBTI, cognitive functions, etc, then it’s actually going to be meaningful, relevant, and useful information. If they know little to nothing about MBTI, it’s not going to be relevant at all, unless you explain the relevance and how the cognitive functions usefully model/depict/explain your thinking, tendencies, and behaviors.

I find knowing someone’s MBTI type very useful as an aid in my understanding of them and in making me more forgiving of some of their behaviors/tendencies (like Feeling types being more emotionally driven). But I’m an MBTI/Jung geek. Similarly, I find knowing someone’s otherkin/therian identity to be useful for the same reason. And I find it useful to share my identity and how it affects me with people I am close to who are understanding, or with people who also identify as otherkin.

(I will also totally type people, which is to say try to figure out their MBTI tpe; I’m pretty decent at it. It helps me model their behavior/cognition/tendencies so that I’m not as irritated or confused by it. I will also try to figure out what someone’s kintype is if they “ping" my “otherkin radar" because that, too, is useful as a model for me. The map is not the territory, and all models are wrong, but some are useful; and these are models that I have found to be very useful.)

[clinicallycanine-deactivated201]

I can see your point… I was thinking more along the lines of people that tell absolutely everyone they know that they’re a therian for no readily apparent reason. It seems like fairly un-necessary information to share with anyone who doesn’t absolutely need to know. Going with your personality type comparison as an example: My aunt that I see maybe twice a year doesn’t need to know that I’m an INTJ. What good would knowing that do her? She only sees me twice every year. I can see where I would tell a mental health professional that, or even a significant other, but not a random guy in my math class, or a friend who doesn’t really care or understand.

[meirya]

Ah, okay, thank you for the clarification. We're definitely agreed there. There's a great deal of value in discretion and considering the relevance of a particular disclosure. Why do people share their 'kin identity with EVERYONE?

I've known people who *lead* with their otherkin identity + astral experiences + detailed descriptions of their sexcapades and it's just, WHY. (Mind you, the people I've known to do this have /really poor boundaries/ in general so that might be why.)

I don't think it's actually a problem or scorn-worthy if someone discloses readily, particularly if they've thought about /why/ they're disclosing to so many people (what is the reason/point/benefit, what are they getting out of it, is it a personal values/ethics/needs thing, or what). Not really my business, even if I don't understand it or don't think it's wise.

(Of course, depending on how/why/when/etc they disclose, it might set off warning bells to me about whether or not I want to engage with that person because in my experience, some varieties of indiscriminate disclosure often correlates with boundary issues that I find stressful and unhealthy for me to be around, but that's a separate matter of self-care rather than a value judgment or anything like that.)

[clinicallycanine-deactivated201]

You know… I really don’t understand people who feel the need to tell other people that they identify as therian/ otherkin… That’s about as important as telling somebody that you keep a purple chair in your closet. No, wait, knowing about a chair would actually be helpful information if you need...

[meirya]

Hmm. I don't actually agree. I think it's closer to telling someone your MBTI type. If the person you're telling is a Meyers-Briggs/Jung geek and thinks in terms of MBTI, cognitive functions, etc, then it's actually going to be meaningful, relevant, and useful information. If they know little to nothing about MBTI, it's not going to be relevant at all, unless you explain the relevance and how the cognitive functions usefully model/depict/explain your thinking, tendencies, and behaviors.

I find knowing someone's MBTI type very useful as an aid in my understanding of them and in making me more forgiving of some of their behaviors/tendencies (like Feeling types being more emotionally driven). But I'm an MBTI/Jung geek. Similarly, I find knowing someone's otherkin/therian identity to be useful for the same reason. And I find it useful to share my identity and how it affects me with people I am close to who are understanding, or with people who also identify as otherkin.

(I will also totally type people, which is to say try to figure out their MBTI tpe; I'm pretty decent at it. It helps me model their behavior/cognition/tendencies so that I'm not as irritated or confused by it. I will also try to figure out what someone's kintype is if they "ping" my "otherkin radar" because that, too, is useful as a model for me. The map is not the territory, and all models are wrong, but some are useful; and these are models that I have found to be very useful.)