again I don't live in Ireland or even pretend to.
I have also posted this on AO3 I posted this part there first.
Orla McCool x Michelle Mallon
“It isn’t forever it’s just until we all go back to school.” I said.
“You aren’t going back Michelle, you’ll still see Orla.” He pointed out.
“No I won’t. She and I don’t run in the same circles when the other girls aren’t here, she’s got dance class and the shelter, then she also teaches step aerobics at the gym.” I said countering him.
“Derry isn’t that massive, you are bound to run into each other sometime, and besides Orla didn’t seem too bothered by it when it happened, I think you’ve just worked yourself up about the whole thing.” James said.
“I’m not gonna explain it to you again. There are rules between friends and especially with Orla.” I said with my arms crossed. We heard the girls laughing through the open window.
“She’s not a child Michelle, she’s actually really smart I know her general attitude and taking every joke seriously can be misleading but she understands feelings and what stuff like that means. Talk to her or I’ll tell them all you lied.” He threatened before walking out of my bedroom and down the stairs. I sighed and laid down in my bed, falling asleep instantly. When I woke up it had only been 30 minutes, stupid dreams. I needed to get out of the house. I put some pants on and a sweatshirt before leaving the house. I was mostly wandering but didn’t realize I was walking to Erin’s house until I was already knocking on the door.
“Michelle? The girls aren’t here? Shouldn’t you be with them actually?” Gerry asked answering the door.
“I wasn’t feeling too well so I stayed behind, is Mary home?” I asked. He looked confused at first.
“Come on in.” He said inviting me in the house.
“Mary’s in the kitchen.” He said. I nodded and made my way into their kitchen.
“Michelle? I thought you’d be with the others.” She smiled before looking at me fully. Once she saw me it’s as if she could sense everything that I’ve been thinking and going through in the past week.
“Have a seat love, I’ll put the kettle on and you can tell me why you look like you’ve been crying for a week straight.” She said with a polite smile. I noticed Gerry had sat down in the living room but still close enough to provide help if needed. Once she set the kettle on the stove she sat down next to me at the kitchen table and put her hand on mine. The floodgates opened once again. After several minutes I finally calmed down and the kettle screamed.
“I’ll get it you two talk.” Gerry said standing up.
“What’s happened?” She asked me rubbing my back lightly as I calmed down.
“So you know how Claire is a wee lesbian?” I asked.
“Well when I went to university I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.” I said remembering the first time I had been with a girl it had actually been my first time all together.
“Keep going.” She said when she noticed Gerry had started to whistle in case he heard something private that someone’s father shouldn’t hear.
“I liked it a little more than I thought I would, I still like the fellas but I would say the girls are pretty equal.” I said as I took deep breaths.
“There’s nothing wrong with that, if I’ve learned anything it’s that it doesn’t matter, as long as you are happy.” She said giving me a proud smile. I took a deep breath.
“The other night Jenny Joyce had a party and she suggested we play spin the bottle like she could smell the lesbian on me and round after round I was safe until it was my turn, I had hoped it’d land on one of the random dudes that Jenny had invited but it didn’t.” I said speaking faster.
“It landed on Orla?” She asked.
“I tried to skip her Mary I really did but you see this ballbag was sitting next to me and the rules were that the person next to you had to kiss the person instead and he was honestly really creepy and I didn’t want him anywhere near Orla.” I said explaining myself once again.
“Michelle breathe.” She said. I took another deep breath.
“Erin explained everything that happened Michelle.” Mary said.
“She doesn’t know everything Mary, she doesn’t know what I thought in my head. She doesn’t know what I did.” I said with tears still in my eyes.
“I basically assaulted her!” I yelled.
“Ach you did not!” She shook her head.
“I did, I had my tongue in her mouth Mary, she wasn’t even paying attention when the rules of the game were being said, I’m sure she didn’t even know what we were gonna do. I don’t think she was expecting me to shove my tongue down her throat either. She is traumatized I’m sure.” I said as the panic began to bubble once again.
“Why don’t you drink your tea and breathe.” She said. I took a sip of the hot liquid and tried to calm myself. After about 10 minutes Mary excused herself and I sat at the table by myself for a minute. Gerry approached me.
“I know I’m just Erin’s da but can I put my thoughts out there?” He asked. I nodded.
“Orla’s is an amazing lady. All you wains are incredible but her heart is massive, I think you need to talk to her and explain everything I know that sounds hard but I’d hate to see you avoid your friends because you are afraid you’ve hurt them in some way.” He said with a smile. He patted my shoulder and walked away. I was so lost in my own thoughts I didn’t hear Erin and Orla walk in.
“Michelle? I thought you were sick!” Orla gasped.
“Obviously she’s not Orla.” Erin rolled her eyes and sighed.
“Hold up a minute, you two need to talk and neither of yous are allowed to leave this kitchen until you’ve talked.” Mary said shooing Erin out of the kitchen. Gerry followed his daughter. Orla looked confused.
“Do you need me to stay?” Mary asked. I shook my head.
“What are you on about Aunt Mary?” Orla asked as she sat down and pulled candy out of her pocket.
“Michelle here came over to speak to you Orla dear.” She replied. Orla shrugged but sat back in the kitchen chair as she sucked on a Lolly. Once Mary had left the room I took a deep breath.
“So what did you eat?” Orla asked.
“What?” I asked confused.
“To get sick? The last time I got sick I had Finnoulas, it was hard to go back.” She sighed.
“I wasn’t sick.” I said ashamed.
“Why would you lie?” She asked genuinely.
“I was avoiding you, all of you.” I said not bothering to sugar coat it, that wouldn’t be fair to Orla.
“What did we do? Was it Erin? I know she can be a bit much sometimes but she means well.” She said leaning forward placing the sucker on the table. I stood up and grabbed a small plate from the cabinet to set the candy on so Mary’s table doesn’t get ruined. I picked up the cherry flavored confection and placed it on the plate before sitting back down.
“No it wasn’t Erin.” I said. I should just spit it out but I found it hard to find the words.
“Was it me? Listen, I know sometimes I take things a bit too literal and get confused about little things but I promise I’m trying to get better, Ma’s got me in these classes and working with the animals helps a bit.” She said. The sound of tears in her throat broke my heart. I moved to sit next to her and placed my hand over her hand much like Mary had earlier.
“It wasn’t any of you Orla, it was me. I did something bad.” I said.
“What did you do? Is it worse than stealing the board from the chippy? Or when you brought a suitcase full of vodka on the bus to Belfast?” She gasped. I shook my head at the memories.
“I kissed you.” I said pulling my hand back away.
“Och Michelle that’s not a crime.” She smiled.
“What?” I asked in disbelief.
“It isn’t illegal to play tongue tag with your friend, at least as far as I know.” She said grabbing the sucker once more and placing it in her mouth.
“It’s tonsil tag Orla.” I said trying not to laugh at her.
“But I haven’t got my tonsils.” She said. I shook my head.
“I know I’m just saying I went further than the game is intended to go and I’m sorry.” I said.
“No need to be sorry Michelle.” She said shrugging.
“Im sorry what?” I asked confused.
“I didn’t mind, at first it was different, I’ve never felt the texture of someone else’s tongue, only my own when I curl my tongue at the kittens at the shelter, but once I got used to that and the taste of tequila on your tongue it wasn’t horrible” she said. I was at a loss for words.
“I also had to get used to the smell of your hair, there was so many textures, smells, and tastes all at once my brain got a bit fuzzy but once I focused on the pressure of your hand on my face it was fine.” She smiled while pulling the sucker out of her mouth.
“So you aren’t traumatized by the fact that I kissed you?” I asked.
“No. Are you?” She asked.
“No, actually I liked it, a lot. I didn’t know cotton candy lip gloss could be so addicting.” I blushed.
“I am not allowed to eat it anymore Aunt Mary had a whole fit about it when she found out.” She said. After another silent minute she spoke again.
“That was my first time kissing someone, and it was more fun than I expected. I have been thinking about it a lot. Erin writes about kissing in her diary and I have been trying to compare but I can’t quite remember all of the details it happened so fast.” She scrunched her nose.
“I panicked, the alcohol and everything went straight to my head and I thought you hadn’t kissed back because you were uncomfortable.” I explained.
“So you ran and hid because you thought you hurt me?” She asked.
“Yes and no, at first I did run because I thought I hurt ye but I stayed away because of how kissing you made me feel.” I said.
“And how does it make you feel?” She asked still sucking on the sucker.
“It happened so fast I can’t be sure.” I lied. I knew exactly how I feel, I always had a soft spot for Orla but it changed into something else entirely when I came back to Derry, I looked at her differently than before and even at the party I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. All of the sudden my thoughts were interrupted by lips crashing into mine. My eyes were still open, shock painted in them until I felt Orla’s hand caress my cheek and my eyes closed in contentment. She brought her hand down to my neck where she placed her thumb just below my chin and her fingers had intertwined in the hair at the nape of my neck. I opened my mouth a little as she nudged my chin up with her thumb and she took this as permission to let her tongue in. She mimicked what I did at Jenny Joyce’s party only this time there was no alcohol on either of our tongues only the taste of the cherry sucker which is now my new favorite flavor. Mary cleared her throat from the living room and I pulled away reluctantly. Orla kept her hand in place and put her forehead on mine breathing in and out against my face as she tried to catch her breath.
“You alright Orla?” I asked.
“Just trying to get my brain to float back into my head, are you alright Michelle?” She asked as she pulled away to look at me clearly, her brown eyes studying every bit of my face.
“Never been better.” I said.
“Did that clear up your feelings at all?” She asked. I nodded as she stuck the sucker back into her mouth. I teasingly grabbed the stick and pulled it out of her mouth before shoving it in mine with a smirk.
“So it did, how about you?” I asked.
“Kissing you is the best thing I’ve ever done.” She said. I blushed.
“I’d have to agree. Would you like to do it again sometime?” I asked flirtatiously.
“I’d like to do it all the time.” She said seriously.
“Well not in my kitchen girls, have some dignity.” Erin yelled.
“Gerry will you give Michelle a ride home?” Mary asked.
“Of course, let’s go.” He said grabbing his coat.
“Can i ride along?” Orla asked.
“I don’t see why not.” He said. Orla stood up and set the cherry sucker back onto the table and grabbed my hand as we left Erin’s house feeling lighter.
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