Hold on. Hold on. Actually lemme cook here.
Seven deadly sins as beings that inspire their sin.
Like, okay, obviously lust is hot, but maybe not Conventionally Attractive Woman hot. More like a slightly androgynous butch who skirts the line between what's appealing for multiple demographics. Still don't find her attractive? That's okay. She knows people, and how to rope people into a little fun. Stick with her and she'll set you up with someone for sure. Maybe even several someones.
Greed? That one's pretty easy too. They even get to keep the whole rich look, just a bit more understated. Like a banker or a loan shark. Or maybe give them a look of false piety, like a televangelist, and go full-on Prosperity Gospel, telling people that what you have is what you deserve, so you shouldn't share with anyone else.
Pride can be like a groupie cheerleader. They're your biggest fan, and they think that everything you do is just amazing. If someone speaks ill of you, they're right there to ask does that person even know who you are? They'll always rush to your defense, and tell you not to listen to the haters, because they're just jealous.
Gluttony, well obviously they're a professional chef. Maybe a bit on the pudgy side, but healthy enough to make you think, "Hey...it can't be that bad for me!" A good-looking celebrity chef, too. The kind who puts their face on all kinds of instant meals and a chain of restaurants just to make sure that you're still eating, even if you don't have time to cook anything yourself.
Envy is a bit of a gossip. Probably looks like a typical nerdy blogger. A bit mousey and unassuming. Someone you could trust to tell you all the things you ought to know. Just to keep tabs on people, you know? A non-threatening, definitely unbiased source who just sort of happens to know all the ways other people are doing better than you.
Wrath is a dudebro. Seems pretty chill. He's the guy that always has your side. Your buddy. Your wingman. The kind of guy who'll buy you a beer, and then commiserate about how totally unfair it is the way people treat you, and he just can't believe they would do that. Don't worry, he's got your back. You wanna go throw stuff at their house? He'll drive you. Wanna murder that bitch? He'll help hide the body. It's all up to you, man. He's here for you.
So what about Sloth? I think that Sloth would be a little pudgy, with rosy cheeks and a warm smile. They've got a real friendly air about them, like they've always got time for you. Good looking enough that you wouldn't be embarrassed to be seen in public with them, but not so attractive that they take attention away from you. They've got that ability to make anything a good time, whether it's going out somewhere together, hanging out at home, or just talking on the phone. BFF energy. Surely you can take some time off work to see them. Don't worry about the ringing phone, just put it on mute for now. This is your time to relax and have some fun. You deserve it.
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