Collect Me

Take me back there

[the-minecraft-funnies]

a 80s style movie montage of my horse trying on different colored armor and i keep shaking my head

[unclefather]

me in a Best Buy: excuse me, which one is the best

employee: I’m sorry, what?

me: which is the best to buy

[cat-memes-only]

[anxietyproblem]

[yo-homeslice]

Me in jail: so are you guys familiar with the Cell Block Tango

[anxietyproblem]

[foulserpent]

there is nothing you can say that will make me stop occasionally putting a q tip in my ear to remove ear wax. i know the ear is self cleaning. i know it doesnt need to be done at all, and in rare cases where earwax buildup actually does need to be removed this is absolutely not the way. i know theres a risk of serious injury to the inner ear. i know there is no material benefit and it can only do harm. but heres the deal: i dont care. im fully aware and im going to do it anyway. im fucking crazy.. but im free

[scottlangs]

#same

[gaysuggestions]

you deserve to be loved without having to hide the parts of yourself that you think are unlovable.

[ginocchie]

as a child i was always amazed by how fast adults could chop onions and then before you know it you’re chopping onions very fast and that’s it that’s life

[miss-perkey]

[xenosagaepisodeone]

mortician: *cutting my corpse open* *finds the “Hope You’re Having A Good Day My Hard Working Mortician :-)’ note i swallowed for them just before i died* what the fuck

[spencerthespacer-deactivated202]

[mossworm]

pokefrog

[toastbutteregg]

youre lying if you didnt trying mooing after reading this

[jeaniefranklins]

I’ve been laughing at “you kick her body like the football?” for days.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Me, lightly nudging Mochi out of the way so I don’t drop a hot pan or something similarly dangerous on both of us: Kitty, Please.

Mochi: I   A M   S O C K   N O W.

[ballsballsbowls]

I HAD to know what Miette looked like and I was NOT disappointed

[x]

[afloweroutofstone]

[thatthinginyourshoe-deactivated]

[pasdecoeur]

action movie directors really don’t understand that they could write the scariest, toughest, most badass line in movie history, and it still wouldn’t come close to the moment in Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement, when viscount mabrey of genovia said, “sir you will find that the word ‘fear’ is not in my vocabulary!!” and joe didn’t even fucking blink before replying, “Perhaps… But it’s in your eyes.”