the year is 2023
17-year-old albus severus potter marches into the ministry of magic and legally changes his name to something that isnt so fucking stupid

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the year is 2023
17-year-old albus severus potter marches into the ministry of magic and legally changes his name to something that isnt so fucking stupid
that drunk friend that you have to take care of after the party
I see this happening to me in the next 5 years.
Me!Me!Me! Creators: wow i can’t wait for otaku to see the errors of their ways when they watch this brilliant deconstruction of their lifestyle Me!Me!Me! Viewers: wow i can’t wait to draw one of the blue-haired chicks getting bukkake’d by like twenty dicks
MUTUAL CONSENT (ノ◡‿◡)ノ ✧・゚: *
CARING ABOUT EACH OTHER’S PLEASURE (ノ◡‿◡)ノ ✧・゚: *
EXPLORING EACH OTHER’S KINKS (ノ◡‿◡)ノ ✧・゚: *
SAFE SEX (ノ◡‿◡)ノ ✧・゚: *
COMMUNICATION BEFORE SEX (ノ◡‿◡)ノ ✧・゚: *
COMMUNICATION DURING SEX (ノ◡‿◡)ノ ✧・゚: *
COMMUNICATION AFTER SEX (ノ◡‿◡)ノ ✧・゚: *
HEALTHY SEX LIFE (ノ◡‿◡)ノ ✧・゚: *
do you have that one friend that just
there is no shame
especially when talking about otps and porn
heck, you even just share the porn with them
I know I always tell you to practice more, to fight harder, to be more than you are. I’m sorry if that messes you up. It’s just that sometimes I see what you’re doing, and how you’re handling it, and I forget how young you really are. I am trying to remember that.
I know I hover too much....
Based solely on looks, what goddess/mytholoical figure would you cast me as? (can be any pantheon!)
I need to know for science ——> ?
At the gate's of Heaven
God: You jacked off HOW MANY TIMES?!
Me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
normal friends: hey i got you a birthday card, happy birthday!
tumblr friends: hey i wrote you an erotic sex scene between your two faves, happy birthday!
me: i need to sleep
me: *masturbates*
"By stripping, you’ve taken the easy way out!" Oh, really? Okay. In that case, I challenge you to enter a room full of men and separate them from your rent. Tonight. Within eight hours. Remember—strippers don’t get paychecks, and every dime you make must be personally hustled. I challenge you to make this money while being only one among dozens of other attractive women hustling for the exact same dollars. I challenge you to have the same charming conversation eighty times over the course of eight hours with increasingly drunk and nasty customers. I challenge you to make yourself seem like eighty different men’s exact fantasy eighty different times in eight hours at $10 a pop. I challenge you to work in a field where your very body is the product you sell, and yet still keep a loving self-image (among other things, I was recently told that my breasts are not “real breasts” because they are “small and ugly”). I challenge you to listen to such misogynistic venom throughout the night that you find yourself clutching your steering wheel on the four a.m. drive home sputtering ” fuck you, fuck you” to the silent darkness of the night. I challenge you to understand that, even though you’re socking away money so your family can have a better future—when the world finds out what you do, you are to them only a “bad mother,” a “bad wife.” I challenge you to be a “dumb slut” in the eyes of the world when your heart is beating with brilliance and art. "Taking the easy way out," huh? Okay. I challenge you to be a stripper.
-Lux ATL (via ellestanger)
This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!
is this a real thing lmao I didn’t even know people tried to blow in vaginas, that’s awkward.
Guess I’ve gotta figure something else out.
I really hate that “reblogging could save a life” bullshit, but seriously - don’t blow into vaginas.
This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.
THAT’S FUCKING SCARY
why would you even blow into that hole,
WHEN MY FRIEND GETS SLOPPY DRUNK AND I HAVE TO DELIVER HER TO HER BOYFRIEND
I almost spit out my water
I would just like to say fuck you to everyone who made me feel inadequate growing up and ruining my self esteem for years. You all suck and I’m glad I don’t talk to any of you any more.