princess of disaster.

[melmeltriton]

what's the biggest problem facing the earth?

Capitalism, greed, the folly of man, however you want to put it.

HONESTY HOUR! 

[melmeltriton]

Text Message || Triton Sisters

Serenity: OUR FATHER FUCKED A FISH, MELODY! THE DEVIANCE IS OBVIOUS! XD

Serenity: NO! We've already had this talk, don't make it worse! Stop eyeballing me! D:

Serenity: Not to ruin the overanalyzation(?) of every word he's said to you since you fucked probably going on in your head right now, but I'm pretty sure James Smee would flirt with--and/or has already flirted with--a squirrel, so my vote is yes he's flirting with you. Not that it means anything, but it's probably still a thing that's happening. Are you saying he conquered you? Lol. YEAH, ME TOO! BUT NOW I HAVE TO ASK MY BOYFRIEND IF HIS FRIEND INFORMED HIM THAT HE FUCKED MY SISTER AND IF HE HASN'T, I'M THE ONE TELLING HIM! I don't care if he knows, I just don't want to be the one to tell him, BUT AGAIN! I have to ask because if he doesn't know and I do it's weird and I have to ask to know if he knows! You make being a girlfriend the worst, you should've never let me do it. :P

Melody: NOT WHILE SHE WAS A FISH!!!!

Melody: 👀👀👀 We have a nail appointment at Rapunzel's on Wednesday.

Melody: Yeah! Yeah, that's true, you're so right. Phew. If he is it probably means nothing. Yeah, unfortunately, he conquered my ass into next week and that's the only reason I'm even admitting it happened right now. If Rafe cares enough about what goes on with my vagina for you to have to feel some kind of way about telling him, then I really have his entire personality all wrong.

[melmeltriton]

Text Message || Triton Sisters

Serenity: Y'SEE! The thing is... You say that! But now I'm forced to think... "Would she though?" Like, at this point it's gotta be either generational or genetic and I'm not in a happy place right now thinking about it.

Serenity: You could have! She's heard no before, she takes it better than most future Queens I know too! AH! Why do you ruin playful banter always??? NO. I don't know! Maybe she's just retained all the wedding drama of the last year and a half, inono!

Serenity: WELL, I DON'T KNOW! Is his that his way of flirting??? I have so many questions, it's insane. You have the face of one and yet you still manage to get laid, cut him some slack. ;P

Serenity: GOD. Do you think he's told Rafe??? I don't know how normal friendships work (not that they're really normal)! Do first mates talk about their sexual conquests? Do you think Jay text him like "Hey boyo, thanks for keepin' the sex sirens a secret, y'arse!"??? MELODY! WHAT IF I HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO TELL HIM??? I'M A GIRLFRIEND NOW, IS THAT THE RULES?!

Melody: The laaaaaaast thing I need to hear is that our mother and father are as sexually deviant as we are, SERENITY.

Melody: idk ma'am, maybe Rafe's been putting ideas in her head. I'd better take you to get a manicure just in case. 👀

Melody: please, there's no way he's been flirting with me. He totally doesn't see me as more than a one-time conquest...right? For your sake, I hope he did tell Rafe, but if he didn't, good luck. I don't really care if he knows since it's all out in the open, now.

[melmeltriton]

Text Message || Triton Sisters

Serenity: You think he's barely a person AND YET. You keep telling yourself that, Mel. ...Do you ever stop and think about the fact that we're our parents lineage? The more our who're tendencies come to light, the more I want to apologize to them, lol. Not for our actions, but that if they ever came to light, they'd have to hear about them and would likely be traumatized.

Serenity: Do not blame your sexual deviance on my child, you could've told her no! If it makes you feel better, I feel he's more likely to have scabies than scurvy.

Serenity: SUBCONSCIOUSLY SHE COULD'VE! Bitch, you are never fucking quiet ever, I don't trust you to suddenly start now that you're humping the least attractive Smibling. God, /ARE/ you humping Brother Smib??? Like, are you humping or did you just hump, y'know? I have The Humpty Dance stuck in my head now and it's my own fault but I'm hoping I can project it through text and make you suffer too now.

Melody: if mom ever heard the dirty details of our sex lives she'd wish she never learned what human sex WAS.

Melody: I couldn't have! She was being so sweet and officiating the wedding! Which btw, how does she know so much stuff about weddings. Do you have something to tell me? 👀

Melody: NO I'm not CURRENTLY humping him. It was a one-time thing and I made that super clear to Jay. He just can't help from teasing me about it in public. Ugh......and I'm not happy about how good it was, either. You can't have the personality of a mule and the sex skills of a Greek god! It's just not fair!

[melmeltriton]

Text Message || Triton Sisters

Serenity: Does he really seem like the "I'll take our secret to the grave" type? Really?

Serenity: YOU'RE A FUTURE QUEEN, WOMAN! "I was weak." CLEARLY!

Serenity: You know I gotta ask this.

Serenity: Did you ask him if he had scurvy before or after you kissed him...while you were supposed to be watching my daughter?

Serenity: GOD! MY CHILD HAD TO HEAR YOU BUMP UGLIES! MELODY! The more I think about this the more traumatized /I/ get!

Melody: He barely seems like a PERSON. Sue me for not being able to read him exactly! And my queendom will have nothing to do with my sex life, so I'll be fine.

Melody: Your daughter's the one who MADE US kiss, keep up! But no, I didn't ask about scurvy because I've selectively forgotten that I used to hold those prejudices, but now the fear is back thanks a lot.

Melody: SHE WAS ASLEEP, SHE DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING. Also I like to think I was relatively quiet.

[melmeltriton]

Text Message || Triton Sisters

Serenity: Y'know my favorite thing about being a mother? The one thing in the entire world that brings me the most joy and satisfaction in the realm of teaching and guiding my child to become the best person she can be?

Serenity: It's the fact that my time to be online and see James Smee talk about having sex with my sister is very limited! AND YET. APPARENTLY NOT LIMITED ENOUGH!

Melody: oh my God shut UP. I was not expecting him to out us like that, I thought it was a secret. But I really should've known better. 🙄

Melody: Tallulah made us play wedding and made us kiss and then she went to bed and I hadn't been kissed in so long, Serenity. I was weak.

[melmeltriton]

jamessmee​:

 I’d prefer if it was neither of them. I call everyone love, love. Don’t think it’s anything special. Hah, please. I’d like you to tell that to the girl who snuck into my bed after said babysitting experience. Once you go Jay Smee, you never go back, love. It’s just a matter of time before you come back to help me – babysit. 

Ha! Ha ha, that’s a laugh. Very funny. Not happening, though. I think we can both agree that babysitting with you was a lapse in judgment on my part. Like, a fun night, sure, but never something I’d want to revisit and I hope you feel the same way. Do you? 

[melmeltriton]

jamessmee​:

Posey! There’s nothin’ good that comes from this.  Oh, would y’be joining me during this babysitting experience, too, love? 

Wow, I had my money on Elodie. Wild. Um, I’m not your ‘love’. And you know our adventure in babysitting was a one-time thing. A one-time babysitting experience. You’re on your own with all your....babysitting from now on. 

[jamessmee]

Well, I was s’pposed t’go on a huge adventure with my first mate and two days into it I had to turn m’ship around because he’s so pussy whipped that he couldn’t be gone for a few days! Now, m’sister’s pregnant, and I’m back at this shithole. This is great. Love how this year’s turnin’ out. 

[melmeltriton]

Your sister’s what?! Which sister?! Well, regardless, it’s a good thing you have some babysitting experience now if you’re going to be an uncle. Congratulations! 

[melmeltriton]

hughthorne‌:

Jeez, what’s it been, almost a year? Welcome back, Mel. Oh good, we’ve still got that in common then, cause I was about to start worrying. Well you didn’t miss too much, it wasn’t much different than the balls of the past; except not unexpected snow-in. I think he did pretty well for me at least, I’m still on good terms with my match, but then she is my roommate so that definitely helps. Well with someone organizing a bachelor show, I don’t think an auction will be necessary, but speed dating could certainly be interesting.

Yep, that’s about right! I don’t think any of us future rulers really know what we’re doing, so we’re all kind of figuring it out together. You were matched with Marj, right? I think I saw that on Insta. Wait, there’s a bachelor show happening? I’m officially out of the loop if Walt has started producing television. 

[melmeltriton]

phoebeypnos‌:

That’s awesome, as a proud dog mom of three, I totally get it. I wish the idea of getting a baby form the ocean surprised me more than it does, but I tend to think that the Greeks take the cake on crazy kid stories. Anyway, I’m glad you’ve finally made the commitment to love a four legged furry friend forever, I’m sure you’ll love it.

A dog mom of three and she’s so young! Looks like I need to do some catching up. But you’re so right about the Greeks, I lived in my little royal bubble that Serenity adopting a child at 18 really...shocked me, but the Greeks have done way crazier. 

[melmeltriton]

serenitytriton‌:

Maybe it was all that brainwashing you did when we were kids. Y’know, I’m pretty sure Science says boys are more susceptible to that kind of thing, so it makes sense. (I pulled that out of my ass, but if it doesn’t say that, it should because it still makes sense.) Brilliant? Are we at that level of self-flattery so soon, Miss Beauty Queen Dropout? Remember when that one bitch tutor said I was a drop out waiting to happen when I pissed her off in sixth grade? Jokes on herrr! …Melody… I will openly admit to loving you if you never, ever, EVER, say that again…

Hey, if I brainwashed so much, then why aren’t you my loyal sidekick like I always planned? You know me better than that, Ren -- I’m never above self-flattery. I mean, to be fair, that tutor...was a bitch. So I didn’t trust her judgment one bit. Am I wrong?! You’re shacked up with your loverboy and you have a whole baby -- practically married. Not to say that you have to actually get married at any point, but you can’t just deny that your life is pretty suburban right now. 

[melmeltriton]

serenitytriton‌:

Fake It ‘Til You Make It, the Triton Sibling Motto if there ever was one. Wes did fine from what I saw. I offered my expertise, y’know, from my years of dealing with you dealing with it, but he passed. Weird, I know.  Are you doing the messy speed dating or are you making it messy for everybody else? Because both sound plausible.

Yeah? Well I’m happy for him. He seems like he’d take that responsibility very seriously. Yeah, both is a fair guess. I’d organize it for sure, but you know me, I can’t resist my own brilliant ideas. I’d have to try it out for myself. A speed-dating event would need some Triton representation, after all, since someone is all basically married and stuff. 

[melmeltriton]

@phoebeypnos​​ holy smokes, Captain is so freakin' cute!!

I know, right? I’ve been wanting a dog for so long and had always meant to adopt one, I was just too busy. And starting this new chapter in my life, I figured now was the right time. I mean, after my little sister snatched a whole baby from the ocean, why couldn’t I do the same for a dog?

[melmeltriton]

INSTAGRAM: @MOMENTSOFMELODY UPLOADED A PHOTO!

Found this little guy on the beach before I left home, and took it as a sign -- meet Captain, the new love of my life. 

💙 LIKES, ✍ COMMENTS ↳ VIEW ALL COMMENTS

[melmeltriton]

wondertriton‌:

Hi Mel, Welcome back! You’re going to be the queen again? Was that something we were all supposed to know already or is that new? The whole which land Triton will rule thing gets so awfully confusing sometimes. Also the ball was extra boring this year without you! I didn’t even sign up, but I could just tell that it wasn’t as good as when you’re in charge. What’s messy speed dating? Does it involve running in mud?

Uh...yeah? It’s kinda been that way for a year, Wonder. I maybe wasn’t super vocal about it just because I was self-conscious. Aw, I’m sure Wes did as good of a job as he could without actually being me. And not like I’ve actually ever speed-dated, but they always seemed like...dramatic. That kind of messy. Not mud-messy. 

[melmeltriton]

marjtriton‌:

So glad you’re back! You and Moss being here has like, made my year! The ball was great! Nothing without you, of course, but still good! I can’t say I’m disappointed about it, so that rules it as pretty awesome in my book! What other kinds of ideas do you have?

Oh, you’re too kind. And you know, as always, some fun things to keep the town active and engaged, so we’re not all computer zombies. I’d suggest another Sibling Showdown (maybe Sib-Spring Showdown) but that was such a bust last time.