Seeing the thing you loved the most get torn apart by its fandom is one of the most painful things I had to experience. During the initial announcement of Heeseung leaving Enhypen, it was, of course, a shocking moment for every engene, myself included. It made us mourn for a while, which I wholeheartedly understand, as I also was mourning what happened.
However, as days and weeks passed, I saw how much Heeseung’s departure literally made most engenes take different sides. Some wanted him back, some didn’t. Some wanted to boycott Belift, some didn’t want to. The worst part was that each side thought the other was in the wrong. To me, it felt like everyone was fighting, and I couldn’t handle the noise.
Usually when I notice a member of a group leave, no matter the circumstance, the fans would be supportive of the departure. Now, I’m not saying what Belift did with Heeseung’s departure was justifiable by any means. Hell, I personally would’ve been happy if there was a prior announcement, rather than a sudden departure. However, the reaction that engenes had, while justified at first, went off the rails as the weeks went on.
The thing I hated most about this is that engenes keep coming after each other for whatever side they’re on. For example, people who were boycotting Belift were coming after those who were not boycotting, and the same thing happened on the flip side. Because of how much internal tension there was in the fandom, I had to let go of Enhypen, again.
To basically explain why I’m saying I let go of them again, the first time I let go of Enhypen, it was because I was losing interest in them. While I was still listening to them, I stopped consuming their other content (social media posts, YouTube videos, etc.), but this time, it’s because of the fandom.
“But can’t you just consume Enhypen’s content without interacting with engenes?” I would, but it felt like most of their content and engenes are intertwined in a way, hence why I let Enhypen go.
Look, this wasn’t an easy decision for me to make. I spent the last four years being an engene, and they were a way for me to cope with my struggles, but seeing the fucking fandom keep fighting with each other, I couldn’t handle it. It’s not fun interacting with Enhypen anymore, and I feel like some engenes ruined it for me.
To Enhypen, thank you for being there at my lowest point. I’m sorry for doing this again, forgive me, but I have to let go of you again once more. I don’t know when I’ll come back, maybe even never. Just know that I’m happy you came into my life. I hate that I have to do this, but for the sake of my sanity, I’m sorry. I’ll keep listening to you, I just won’t be interacting with you as much as I used to. Once again, I love all of you, and I’m sorry.
